[Goddess Jessica]

The Cute Boyfriend (TCB) went in to get some medication for his skin and the doctor said, "Well, it looks like over the last 3 times you've been into my office, you've had high blood pressure. I'm sending you home with a prescription that I want you to start taking every morning."

TCB has gained around 60 pounds in the last three years. He's been warned about his blood pressure and his cholestrol. And now, at the ripe old age of 31, he has to start medication.

I guess I've been lucky. I'm very active for an obese woman. I've got some good genes (and a love of veggies) that has always kept my cholestrol in check. The only time someone has been concerned about my blood pressure was when I was so upset my head could have exploded. So, this took me a bit by suprise.

Ok, honestly, I'm freaking out.

He says he's going to start watching what he eats exercizing blah blah blah but he doesn't seem that concerned about it. I mean, the man ordered a burger for dinner! My first urge is to turn into the Nutrition **** and lecture him on everything he puts in his mouth.

Anybody have any experience here? I'm new to this territory.

[SwimGirl]

Jessica - I'm sorry to hear about the news Sometimes men need a wake up call.. so many take their health for granted, I know mine does. My best recommendation is to be there for him, help him if he needs help, and talk to him, let him know how worried you are. And while being a food **** is your urge, don't do it! He'll just resent you in the end. Try sneaking in his favorite veggies? I make stirfry's with carrots cut up really small, and he eats them, but doesn't know it. It's just a small step, but anything is better than nothing If you need to talk, I'm here!

-Aimee

[dowsx4]

I developed high blood pressure when I was pregnant with my oldest son but it never went away after. I was on high blood pressure from then until last year when I lost around 80 lbs. I am 5'6 and 150ish lbs and my blood pressure is still on the high side of normal. I do not take anything for it at this time and I exercise often and eat well to control it as best I can.

[anagram]

I kknow it's hard to get guys to believe anything could happen to them. Or they figure that's years down the road and they'll deal if it happens. But the "fix" is so much easier when you're young than later too. High BP can lead to so many other things like kidney/heart damage and they aren't pretty to deal with. And meds don't always take care of the problem or can eventually cause others.

I know the "****" thing is tempting but I've tried it and it doesn't work all that well. Sneaky changes are good, praise works when something is done in the right direction, information presented in a non-**** way, home bp kit etc (it's mechanical/electronic, etc so therefore more "male"). Can't say they worked enough for me but they did help somewhat.

[Charbar]

My dh who is 35 years old has been on hbp meds for 3 years... when he went to the doctor he had not been in years. The doc was surprised he had not had a stroke. It took us about 9 months to come up with the right "cocktail" to lower his bp. It may take time - be warned. Jim takes 5 different meds. 2 years ago he lost 30 lbs - had no effect on his bp. Dh is 100 lbs over weight - and gets stressed easily.

Think positive - be happy that doc has decided to put him on meds - they really can make a difference. I think you and him are on the right track.


Dana

[Jen]

High blood pressure may have absolutely nothing to do with weight. People who are thin can have it. I"m a bit concerned that the dr prescribed meds just like that without looking into other avenues of lowering it but that's typical. Plus I don't know how high it was, it could have been stroke zone for all I know.

[PamPSM644]

Unfortunatly you can"t do this for him but you can help him by keeping fatty food off the menu and out of the cuboards at home. Cut back on eating out where he can make bad choises and fix low fat,low cal meals at home.Suggest taking walks together,stroke the ego by saying you want him along because you feel safer by his side. I guess I"m saying you can help him until he's ready to help himself by getting creative.

[lessofsarahtolove]

Jessica, has he spoken to you at all about his feelings about having gained the weight? While what Jen said is very true, it's entirely possible that his BP increase is caused by the weight gain over the last 3 years. 60 pounds is significant. If he's expressed any concern over the weight gain in any private moment, that may be your in. My blood pressure, blood sugar and bad cholesterol were ALL high before started to lose weight by eating right and exercising, and now they're all "BEAUTIFUL" (the doc's word.) I think if you can figure out what would motivate him -- vanity, guilt, fear, love for you, whatever! -- you can start to make some headway. The first thing is to find your "in." If there IS no "in," then I guess you could try the covert subterfuge approach -- like suddenly developing an aching, strident need to do with him some sports activity that he loves and that gets his butt moving, while at the same time proactively taking control of what goes into his mouth. But really, his buy-in is pretty key to success in the process, you know? The "what's in it for him" factor. Figure that out, and work it, girl.

I completely agree that a knee-jerk reaction to immediately medicate is completely irresponsible though. Um, hello??!! There are other ways to turn it around to try first, you know??? They sure worked for me.

Keep us posted. I completely understand your fear; I feel the same way about my partner's health with her smoking. Best to you both.

[FindingJackie]

Jessica..

I know how you feel. My H has diabetes and high blood pressure. The high BP doesn't scare me as badly has his diabetes. He's already had a case of ketoacidosis that put him in the ICU for 3 days. I want to yell, rant and rave, be the food police. He just doesn't seem to get it.. doesn't seem to understand the serious nature of this illness and the long term side affects. I took care of a grandmother who, in the last years of her life, dealt with renal failure because of diabetes. I have a very good friend who went blind due to diabetes. And my H still doesn't get it.

I was put on BP meds when I was 17 (yes you read that right - 17!!!!) before I was even a high school graduate. And although I wasn not "skinny" (probably 160 to 170), I was not overweight enough for it to warrant the kind of pressure problems I had. I got ever test known to man but they were all negative. The doctor's could not explain it. So, I know it's true that TCB's BP may not be weight related, as Jen pointed out, getting back into shape can help. Non-**** support and encourgement is the best way to go. He'll hopefully figure it.