Would you share please your methods of sticking to the journey long enough to have the success you have had.
Did you ever during your journey, fall off the wagon, and if so, how did you get back on? Or did you just ~ once you made up your mind there was no turning back, and you never messed up ~ full speed ahead toward your goal?
I make it for a while, then fall off and it takes me so long to get back into the right mind set, I have to undo the damage. It is like 2 steps forward and 10 steps back.
Maybe I am my own worst enemy, I can not imagine myself thin. I am one to not want to be noticed, and having to say no thank you to people who offer food, makes me unable to go unnoticed. Saying no thank you makes me be noticed, then I feel like because people know I am trying to eat more healthy that they are watching me. Like there is some subconscious thing that gets in my way before I can reach my goal.
Thank you for any suggestions you can offer.
10-24-2004, 09:55 AM
I felt the same way when I began this journey. I hated to be the focus of attention and it was difficult to have so many people talking about you and watching you. I just kept as much to myself at first as I could. When I was at a function I usually just tried to make the best choices I could or made it a planned day off. I have fallen off the wagon plenty of times but I do not allow myself to use it as a an excuse to give up all together. You have to make it a way of life that works for living and not something that is going to be for just a little while. I have had many days that just feel like I am not going to make it but I take it one minute at a time. Finally after about 100 lbs gone I started to believe I could do it. Now I dont mind when someone notices me as much although it is still uncomfortable for me if someone comes up and calls me skinny because I am not skinny.
Make sure you give yourself planned days to eat what you want. After a while eating what you want will not be nearly what it used to be trust me. I went to Olive Garden last month for unlimited pasta bowl and was prepared to have to work out the rest of the month to make up for the damage and when I got there I ate a bowl of soup, couple breadsticks, one polish sausage and a plate of spagetti and I COULD NOT eat anymore. I would have eated at least 3 times that amount before.
Keep in mind that even little steps of improvement will help get you where you want to be. How big the steps are just determine how fast you get there and faster isnt always better!
10-24-2004, 02:29 PM
I am in the exact same place as you at the moment Glynne - I just keep losing and gaining the same 7lb over and over. I agree that it is so hard to get re motivated each time - as each time I 'fail' i lose a bit more faith in myself and find it harder to believe that I can do this - even though I want it so much.
I suppose all we can do is try again - take one day at a time and work on our strength and discipline. I think it is also important to look at WHY we keep failing. I know personally that I suffer from depression and when I am feeling particularly low I eat all the wrong things to try to feel better - the ultimate comfort eater. Then I feel guilty and get into deeper depression - so I want MORE comfort etc etc.This goes on for a few weeks until I have put back on the weight i lost and sometimes more. Then I feel really bad about myself and find it very hard to get motivated again, which is where i am now. I am actually looking at getting some counselling about this - it is a cycle that i fall into over and over again.
JULIE has given some good advice - and has given me hope that it can be done - thank you! One question - how often did you have a treat day. or a day off?
Good luck Glynne at getting on and staying on track.
Love Amanda x
10-24-2004, 04:22 PM
I'm not a big loser yet, since I'm only around the halfway point of my journey, but I wanted to share my experience with this, in the hopes that it might help. I knew from the start that it was going to be a really long road, and that I was bound to have slip-ups or crises of faith and motivational slumps along the way. The longer the road, the more likely it is that you'll run into these road blocks. So I just approached it with this knowledge, and just kind of forgave myself in advance, but made the commitment to myself that I wouldn't wallow in it or get sidetracked; I would have the inevitable slip-up and then brush myself off and move on. I just really try to always keep my longterm goals always at the front of my mind, and really congratulate myself for my successes along the way. Every single day I log my food and assess my progress, and I write in my journal about my goals and how I'm feeling. I look for patterns in my cravings and changing levels of motivation, and I just really focus in on how I'm going to achieve my short-term and long-term goals. I remind myself that I knew it wasn't going to be easy, and that it's natural to be less motivated some times than others -- but I'm never going to get where I want to go if I lose sight of how much I want it and give in to the easier, off-plan route. I remind myself that it's hard work, but that it will pay off. And since the start, I celebrate every little bit lost -- they add up!!
Just this past weekend, I returned from a 3-day holiday a full 5 pounds heavier! I had intended to be mostly on plan, but succumbed to temptation and spousal pressure and just kicked back. Not an all-out binge, but for me, it was pretty darned relaxed! So when I came back and saw that bump on the scale, I wasn't surprised, and I knew I just needed to jump right back on a strict plan and hold myself to it. I've worked too hard to get waylaid by 5 stupid pounds! So I hit it hard, and 5 days after that gain, I was down 4 of the 5 pounds!
I know EACH of us is capable of regaining focus after a lapse or a setback. I really think it's a question of psyching yourself up again and again and again....just keep talking yourself through your decisions, and don't let your goals shift from anywhere but the very FRONT of your mind. IT is the priority, above ease, above taste, above convenience, above the pressures of others (hello Sarah!), above everything.......your loss is the priority. No matter what the objection: "But that _______ is SO hard to resist!" ; "It's just really hard to find the time to ______!" ; "But I'm just not losing it quickly enough so why even bother?" ; "I'm just too tired to exercise." ; "I can't pre-pare my meals because _____" --- to name a few --- No matter what the objection, the response should be, "Does this response help me to reach my goals, or hinder my ability to reach those goals?" That's the litmus test, the decider.
For me, my motivational tool is determination, plain and simple. Some days it's grim determination :s: and others it's a smooth ride -- just business as usual.
Glynne, I think you're just going to have to make up your mind that reaching your goals is more important to you than getting recognized for saying "no thank you." Your health is more important! It will get easier with practice, I swear. Do these people know that you're trying to lose weight? Maybe if you could speak to them one-on-one and express that you're really trying to take care of your health, and would very much appreciate their support in not offering you food. I really think they would understand and respect your efforts to take care of yourself. As for not being able to imagine yourself thin, I've heard that from others also. I don't really think that's critical to your success. Can you imagine zipping up a pair of jeans 2 sizes smaller than you wear right now? Can you imagine walking up 6 flights of stairs without getting winded? Can you imagine getting up out of bed without grunting or breathing funny? Start with those, and the thin visual will follow, Glynne, I really believe that.
I'm writing in the quick reply box, so I can't yet tell how long this is -- but I suspect it's REALLY long!! I sure hope this helps....it's definitely how I've made it this far, and how I will continue to progress going forward through the next half.
Glynne, I send you hugs :grouphug: and all the very best -- if you ever want to talk privately, feel free to PM me -- I'm here for you anytime. :goodvibes
10-24-2004, 08:36 PM
Amanda-I usually end up with an "off-day" about every week but only get one true totally splurge day about once a month. An off-day for me is usually like eating one meal that is totally off what I would usually eat like going out for chinese for dinner or a buffet style function. A truely off day is like having what ever I want to eat that day all day. I have grown to not take a full blown day off program because I end up so sick at the end of the day from all the junk my body isnt accustomed to anymore.
10-25-2004, 04:58 PM
Thanks Julie - that's just what i thought.
I usually have a home made pizza as a treat once a week (Saturday nights watching CSI :) ), and I think I'll give myself a complete day off each month - but make sure i actually set an exact date or it would be easy to lose track! ;)
Love Amanda x
10-25-2004, 05:11 PM
Oh Gayle, believe me, I understand your struggle. Training ourselves to live differently is such a hard concept to wrap our minds around. Every one of us has or will fall off the wagon at some point. We're human; it's going to happen. One of the things that has really helped me is accepting that this isn't just a "diet" for me, this is how I live my life now. When I go overboard on portions, eat something that I know I really shouldn't, or even fall prey to a binge (which does still happen, even now), I don't think of it as breaking my diet. I assess the damage, figure out what the cause or trigger was, file the info away so I know what to look for next time, and then get on with living this healthier way of life. You can't let a few, inevitable bumps in the road make you turn around and go back, or you'll never get to where you want to go. All you can do is let go of what you can't change, move on, and try to do better next time. As for not wanting to stand out, I know exactly what you mean. I struggle with that a lot. People do watch, they do make judgments, itís human nature. What I try to do is just remind myself that Iím not doing this for other people, Iím doing this for me. So who cares what they think, right?! Iím not gonna compromise the things I value most just to please someone who doesnít necessarily have my best interest at heart. Sure, it may be a little uncomfortable, but in the end, they donít have to be accountable for the choices you make, you do. Itís up to you to decide whatís more important.
10-25-2004, 06:01 PM
Very well spoken Beverly!!
10-25-2004, 06:25 PM
Glynn, Thanks for starting this thread. I have been losing my motivation the last day or two and the responses here have really helped me to refocus. Thanks too to Julie, Amanda, Beverly & Sarah for the words of inspiration. This is why I love this website!
10-25-2004, 08:09 PM
You always speak such words of wisdom, Beverly. You're my hero!
10-25-2004, 10:33 PM
Beverly is da BOMB! Truly you're up there on my hero list, too, you wise woman!