100 lb. Club - I'm having a pity party.. you are all invited!

10-05-2004, 12:02 AM
Okay.. I'm having BAD BAD times! Infact.. I QUIT! What am I quitting? EVERYTHING!! Whats wrong? Lemme list it (I'm venting bare with me!).

1) I'm finally up for a "promotion" at work.. sounds great.. it's not. It's a temporary one, so while my assistant manager is filling in for someone who is on Maternity leave, my 3rd key holder moves up to acting assistant, and the 4th key moves up to acting 3rd key, which means I move up to acting 4th keyholder. So I get 40 hours a week until probably after christmas, and then I go back to being a part time person. Now WHY would anyone in their right mind do that? They wouldn't.. it's stupid.. all the respnsibility without the pay. So I asked for a raise.. we'll see. My manager talked to me today and said this when I said the above "well, when your review comes around again (which isn't until July, supposed to be May, we won't go there) you will get a good one, and will get a higher raise". Wow, so I can wait 10 months to get a raise for what I'm doing now? SIGN ME UP (sarcasm ;) ).

2) I'm tired of being sick. I thought I had this IBS stuff all figured out, but then it turns out I can't have curry either. So that leaves me with none of my fav foods! And my "comfort" foods? They make me so sick I spend hours in the bathroom. If you aren't familiar with IBS, you have to avoid anything with sugar, wheat products, caffiene, carbinated drinks, fatty foods, dairy, alcohol, artificial sweetners, red meat.. and I'm sure the list goes on. Thats a pretty tricky diet to follow!

3) I'm also tired of feeling like a burden to my boyfriend.. since we live up a huge mountain (which I try and hike.. but on 9 hour work days.. it's hard), he has to pick me up from the bottom of it. And since he's working 12 hour days, he's always so tired and gets cranky when he has to do it. And with all these new hours, it means I work more, and need more rides. It's a stupid cycle. And I know I'm just having a pity party.. but.. I feel like CRAP. I just need someone to hug me and tell me life is going to get better.. but I don't think it does.

Okay, I'm done. Thats all I got, thanks for dealing with me.. and I promise I'll try and be more positive tomorrow. Hope everyone is being good :)


10-05-2004, 08:42 AM
:grouphug: it will work out for you, have faith.


10-05-2004, 08:48 AM
Aimee-- It WILL be ok! Everyone goes through rough spots. At my last job, I had to testify infront of a grand jury against my boss! Now THAT wasn't a pretty sight. I was a salaried employee and worked 60 (no kidding) hours a week at minimum. I worked through it, got a Better job, with better pay and everything is good now. I still complain about money, but who doesn't. And your boyfriend? No worries. It's hard working long hours. You aren't a burden and I am sure if he heard you talk like that he'd disagree! I know exactly how you feel and it's ok to feel like this-- we all feel like this sometimes. Give it a few days and you'll see.. You'll wonder why you were so obsessed over it. Were here for you anytime you need to vent. We've all been through similar situations and stress. Please know you are not alone! What can we do to cheer you up?

And one more thing about work, is it possible to start looking for other opportunities? That might make you feel better too! Even if you just look-- and not really go, but just knowing you have options takes a weight off your shoulders.

10-05-2004, 10:23 AM
awwww... you do need a hug. :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:

i hope things start looking up for you soon!

10-05-2004, 01:09 PM
Sorry to hear that you are feeling so crappy. {{{{{HUGS}}}}}

I think you are right in telling your boss you want more money right now if you are going to be promoted even temporarily into a new position with more responsibility and more hours. Let him know that if you have to take a pay cut later because of the demotion then that is okay, I think that is reasonable.

Can't help you with the IBS, I can't say that I know much about it. It is hard though when it feels like there is nothing you can eat! My hubby went through something similar when he had his gallbladder problems. Have you consulted with a GI expert or just your family dr? I have nothing against family drs but sometimes going to the expert is worth the time and money.

I'm sure too that your bf is not finding you a burden. Don't take it personally if he acts cranky. It is part of being together with someone that you have to put yourself out for them. You'd do the same for him I"m sure.

Take care, hope you are having a better day!

10-05-2004, 01:52 PM
Thank you all for replying.. I need all the encouragement I can get. I've moved from quite far away to be with my boyfriend, and just don't have any close friends where I live now. As for my boyfriend, I just don't think he *gets* how much I do for him, but he would probably say the same thing, he thinks that he needs to work ALL the time so that "we" can live the "great" life. Decoded it means, he wants to eat out for all his meals without me complaining about money. I need to decide if this is something I can live with for the rest of my life.. and if not.. I need a plan of action..

As for the IBS, in the end.. it just is. So I just have to deal with it, even if I don't like it. In the end, it'll help me lose weight.

And for my work? I would feel bad switching jobs right now, they are REALLY counting on me, and there really isn't anyone else. And unfortunately since I work in such an intimate setting (staff of 6 people) I get close to everyone and the guilt of quitting would bother me. So I just need to hold on until after christmas.

In the end, I just have to do it.. not think about things, just do it. Life will get better, and soon it will be christmas.. which is my FAV time of the year.. I love buying christmas presents :) Thank you for your words of support :)

10-05-2004, 02:07 PM
Aimeegirl, it sounds like you've come to some realizations -- sorry I didn't reply sooner. I'm a former retail manager, and it sucks sometimes to have to ask a keyholder to assume increased responsibilities without increased pay. (Although you'lll be getting more hours, which is good, right?) Sometimes your hands are just tied though, so the appreciation should come in some other, non-monetary form. I DO think that what you put out in a work setting like that comes back to you, and you should see it as an opportunity to demonstrate your willingness to help out and take on more leadership and responsibility. Sometimes there's a lag between the reward and the behavior which deserves it.....especially when it comes to money and retail! :lol: I just know that when I was able to give more money (or fight for it on behalf of someone) I looked at a history of "above and beyond," and those were the people who got promoted. Good luck, and it does sound like you work with nice people, so hopefully you can hang on. At the very least, adding to your responsibilities there will increase your marketability when you're looking to make a move.

As for your bf -- have you guys talked about it -- a loving heart to heart? Maybe your perception is off, or he's putting that out there but is really feeling something else.

I know not about IBS, but I can relate to having sucky medical stuff. I have to get extremely painful surgeries on my esophagus all the time as a result of being poisoned, and it affects how I eat and more.....it sounds like your IBS really presents some eating restrictions, but they sound healthier than "normal" eating over the longterm...just sucks a little because you'll have to be organized and sort of methodical in getting prepared and set up to eat right. Ultimately, it sounds like you don't have any choice, so I wish you the best with it and peace. I'd imagine once you get into a routine you'd sort of get on autopilot.

10-05-2004, 06:31 PM
Thank you Sarah :) And I have to agree with you about the whole retail thing, and while I can appreciate that I will get a raise in the future based on going above and beyond.. I don't think there IS a future with this company for me. The main reason is because I do SO much thats not required, nor should I be expected to do these things, and while it makes me feel good to contribute, my last raise was 30 cents, the highest percentage given to anyone. As a part time person these are my responsibilities: I do visual for one of the biggest sections in the store, I do all the start of week paperwork (about 2 hours worth), and all the end of week paper work as well, I open the store, I now am closing the store (but I don't have keys, so I'm technically not a keyholder), and I train new people. Ah yes, and I'm the second visual person in the store, so I have to make sure the displays are just right. And I make 8.30/hr (8 is the min wage, and if I were on my own, I couldn't afford to pay my rent on how much I make). I should stop playing the fairness card, but I do MORE than whats requires of a parttime person, even more than the 4th key is required to do!

On a positive note, I talked to my boyfriend and we came to a sort of agreement, basically the next 2-3 months are going to be VERY stressful. So I'm going to try my hardest not to take anything personally, maybe after the christmas thing we will take a trip or SOMETHING to get away.

Sarah, thats quite the ordeal you are dealing with. And I have been learning how to embrace my eating issues as I've been growing up (I've been dealing with not being able to eat certain foods my whole life), and in the end it's become a blessing in disguise. Everyone in my family has had their gallbladder taken out, but because I've been forced to watch what I eat my whole life, mine is still in there! But you are right, it's that planning thing that gets to me, I just get tired sometimes. I see the strength everyone has on here and just wonder why I don't have that, how do you get up everyday and eat healthy when it's SO much easier to have pasta, bread.. mmm.. pasta.. bread.. lol cravings much? I just have to remind myself that I WANT to lose weight, not eat wheat and sugar. It's hard sometimes, I just don't have anyone in my life who is trying to lose weight, so it feels like a battle that I'm dealing with all alone. Coming on here helps.. but sometimes life gets too hectic.. I'm babbling! I should go find food, and something healthy! Thanks again for the replys :)

10-06-2004, 12:19 AM
Aimee :grouphug: Stay strong!

10-06-2004, 01:14 AM

Sending a big hug your way and hope that things turn around and you start to feel better with everything going on in your life right now. :) Hang in there!!


10-06-2004, 02:37 PM
Sarah, I have to disagree with you on the point of taking on the added responsibility in hopes that later on it will result in a raise later on. This is not the same as someone who is a salaried employee and doesn't get extra money for overtime or work done at home. You never know what is going to happen between now and when she gets her next evaluation particularly when it is several months away. I would go for the raise now because it is comminserate with the amount of responsibility.