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Jane
10-01-2004, 10:18 AM
What Would a Jaded Lady Do?

Here's a new twist on the "Would You Rather" game.... give a situation but no choices for an answer. The one who responds should answer the question, and then give a new challenge.

The first one is: If you knew a friend's husband was cheating on her, would you tell her?


FrouFrou
10-01-2004, 04:08 PM
This is a toughy but I would have to say NO! Because I think she would get mad at me for telling her and not believe it. What I would do is confront the husband and tell him I saw him with this other woman and if it didn't stop I would tell. But I still don't think I could tell, I wouldn't want to lose the friendship.

Okay, if your friend was adopted and she was looking for her parent(s) and you know who they are but they don't want her to know would you tell her anyway?

RosieKate
10-01-2004, 05:18 PM
Probably not right off the bat. I would first approach the bio-parent and find out about their feelings in the matter, and tell them the bio-kid was looking for them. Then I would stay out of it unless there was medical information needed to save someone's life.


Ok - found out today that my dad and his wife were in town yesterday and didn't tell me. I had no idea they were even here until my grandmother called me this morning. My dad lives 5 hours away and, regardless of how he may feel about me, you would think he would want to see his grandchildren. So, WWJLD? Do I call him up and confront him? Confrontations don't tend to work very well with him because he just denies everything and keeps doing it until the confronter gives up and goes away. I'm ticked...but more sad than anything else...lay your wisdom on me ladies :)


Jane
10-01-2004, 10:25 PM
Wow, Katy, this one isn't hypothetical! I think since you said "confrontations don't work well with him" that you'd be wasting your time to try and reason with him. But you could mention that you knew he was in town, just to let him know he's busted! Btw, so sorry this happened to you! (((HUGS))) You have been a good daughter and deserve better than this!

Now, for a hypothetical one - if your friend or co-worker brings a dish to a carry-in that is totally gross then asks you if you liked it, would you fib to spare her feelings?

suetalks
10-01-2004, 11:34 PM
I think I would try to say something like "I'm sorry, but I don't care for olives." or whatever was in there that you could pick on. Otherwise if it is a common dish and just nasty you could fib a little bit or say you hadn't gotten to it since there was so much food. I can never say that I just thought it was gross.


If you had a friend that NEVER was the first to call or initiate a lunch, get together or just a chat, but always was so glad to see you and so much fun, would you keep trying to be friends?

da fat n da furious
10-02-2004, 12:25 AM
Depends on how we have been friends...if she has always been that way, then I would still remain friends with her. If shes a new friend then I would kick her butt to the curb! kidding

You have been friends for a long time with someone and well you like them but can barely tolerate their kid,,,would you tell them that infact its not acceptable the way they act? Or bite your tongue? Or not socialize as much? Or Socialize but without kids?

Jane
10-02-2004, 09:03 AM
Since we've been friends for a long time and like her company, I'd still get together sans brat by choosing occasions that children shouldn't be a part of, and enjoy ourselves without the child, lol. :cheers:

What would you do if your boss, with whom you work very closely, had terrible breath everyday?

RosieKate
10-02-2004, 10:31 AM
Grin and bear it, for the most part. Maybe leave a bowl of mints on my desk, then when the boss is in the vicinity, take one for myself,then offer him/her one.


Scenario: you are in the grocery store with your toddler, who is behaving like a toddler, basically ( gimme gimme), but not really being a bother to anyone but you. Then a stranger walks up and makes a snide comment about your parenting skills, ie " if it were mine I'd be spanking him".....Do you ignore? Justify yourself to a stranger? Agree? - this is a hypothetical this time....;)

Dolphin
10-02-2004, 12:21 PM
Being a single person without kids, no desire to have kids, no tolerance for kids, I totally understand the strangers point of view. Kids are loud, annoying, and disruptive. I can't stand it when someone takes there kid out, and they just scream, throw tantrums, etc. Especially in restaurants. My theory is, if they want to scream and cry, I'll give them something to scream and cry about. Don't worry, I don't plan on having any kids! With that said, you should probably just save your breath when speaking to someone who makes comments like that. There is no way you are going to change their mind. Just ignore them.

Ok, here's my scenario, and it happened to a co-worker with the NUTBALL!

She was in a situation where she voiced what she really thought and was told by NUTBALL, the President, and the Corporate Compliance dept that she wasn't acting like a manager and should be behind the organization NO MATTER WHAT. Now she feels like they are out for her head. Later that week, when dealing with funding on a particular case, realizing that Medicaid would not pay for a nurse to take a patient to the doctor (duplication of services) the NUTBALL told her to submit it anyway and see if they notice! This is really an issue to be reported to Corporate Compliance, it is fraud, but she feels like it doesn't really matter, no one would believe her, etc. What do you do?

Jane
10-02-2004, 12:29 PM
Yikes, Jen! Not all kids are little monsters, lol!

About the situation you mentioned... if I were you, I'd do nothing. If I were the nurse in question, I'd point out to my supervisor that it was an illegal thing to do, and document when/where/what was said. If she told me to send it anyway, I would, but I'd make sure I made a couple copies of the documentation!

If your neighbor kept borrowing things from you and you wanted it to stop, what would you do?

FrouFrou
10-02-2004, 01:06 PM
Funny, I am reading all of these posts and have had a lot of these happen, the one about the toddler, the friend's husband cheating, the friend with the horrible kids-LOL and this one, and yes not all kids are monsters. Okay, I did have a neighbor who always borrowed stuff, a tomato, onion, cup of sugar, rice and so on and I must say it didn't really bother me. Of course she asked me one day why I never borrow anything. Never needed to since I bought groceries once a week and made a list of all I needed. So...I would have to say it depends on what exactly the neighbor is borrowing, if it is like tools from DH then I would let him decide when he has had enough but food like the neighbor above I never got tired of it, we were friends and it was never a nuisance.


If your driving down the road and you see a fight between a couple, not arguing but an actually fight what would you do? Would you just pass on by? Would you stop and help? Or would you pull over not get out but call the police on your cell phone if you have one?

RosieKate
10-02-2004, 01:39 PM
I would call the police from my cell and take a picture if it was a picture phone. And get a license plate, note the time and make of the car, the location, then make a follow up phone call when I reached my destination. I think getting out of the car to intervene would be a very dangerous thing to do.

What do you do with a girlfriend who continually fills you in on the explicit details of her love life.....you want her to know you support her as a friend, but then again, her morals may not be the same as yours? At what point do you say ENOUGH with a friend like this?

da fat n da furious
10-02-2004, 01:42 PM
I would pull over and yes call the police on my cell phone and from the safety of my vehicle yell over that I had just called the police. I
Like you Christina, Ive had many of these things happen in my life. We were on holidays once and saw this man grab his wife/gf and hit her open hand across the head. Within seconds there was a group of people literally holding this man down. I had to stick myself in the midst and asked the woman if she wanted me to show her how to hit back...using the *dummy as the dummy.....lol

What would you do if you frequently visit a web site support group and enjoy the place yet there is one person who has such a low oppinion of themselves all the time. When you try to say something nice to them they have a way of returning it with the comment of you're crazy to think there is anything good about them?

FrouFrou
10-02-2004, 02:08 PM
Oooopsie! You both (Angie & Katy) answered the same question. I will go with Katy's and then post Angie's question as the next one.

To Katy's: I say the first time she starts telling me. I would stop her and say, ummm too much info! I wouldn't want anyone to know about my sex life and I sure don't want to know about others. I would tell her I enjoy her friendship, that is if I did, and tell her her sex life is between her and her significant other and to please refrain from telling me.

Here is Angie's question:

What would you do if you frequently visit a web site support group and enjoy the place yet there is one person who has such a low oppinion of themselves all the time. When you try to say something nice to them they have a way of returning it with the comment of you're crazy to think there is anything good about them?

Jane
10-02-2004, 09:11 PM
Angie - OMG, that is such a good one, but I have no clue how to answer! Anybody else??????

RosieKate
10-03-2004, 10:24 AM
Been chewing on this one....I think I used to BE the person you are talking about, Angie! I think that good energy put out into the world in the form of compliments or any kind of support is never wasted, even if we can't see the effects right away. I just think it makes us better people to be nice, even if it appears to go unappreciated. It's kind of a "pay it forward" concept, if you've heard of that. As to the person in question, I would keep on supporting that person, but would not get so involved as to make them a "project", so to speak. Their bleak view of themselves is something they have to deal with, but I'm not going to let it make me less of a person by withholding praise. People who show up on support boards to reject support have to deal with some stuff, that's for sure!


Ok - I'm running out of conundrums.....I have an almost 3 y/o girl who is sort of potty training but not quite there yet. My 8 y/o son was also a late-to-the-potty kid, training at 3.5. My kids have really stubborn personalities and I decided with both that this issue was not going to be my Waterloo with them. So, what do I say to the regualrly scheduled lectures I get from people (like MOM) who swear to God they trained thier kids ( like ME) by 12 months and anything later than that is just plain lazy parenting? Ok I agree potty training is kind of scraping the bottom of the barrel here, I'll work on some better scenarios :)

da fat n da furious
10-03-2004, 03:37 PM
RK you aren't the person I was talking about...lol

As for potty training, to each his /her own time. We are all different people and some have to go at a slower rate, or faster in some cases. My aunt talks about how her son, 2 months older then me, and how I was potty trained a good 6 month before him, but he learned many things way before I had a clue. Tanner was trained before 18 months, but couldn't/woudln't talk till almost 3. He had to go to speach thearapy for a year before school started.

Now this is really going on in my life,,,what would you do ladies...
You have a 12 yr boy who loves football, is mediocre on the field but has heart. Next year he goes up a division to the older boys, Bantoms, and well he doesn't want to go cause he is small, he knows hes small. But his coaches now are pushing him to go, even thou they know he will probably be benched most the time. Now the12 yr could have a major growth spurt in the next year, he probably would be benched most the time but the learning of new plays and the other boys would be a good thing too,,,,but to have to do all them drills for 3 months 4 nights a week is asking alot....asking alot of the mom too....lol What would you do?

Jane
10-03-2004, 06:13 PM
Next year's football practice season is so far away, I'd wait until a little closer to then and then do what the boy says HE wants to do at that time. As for right now, he can just tell the coaches "we'll see" or "probably" to get them off his case. If he does decide to skip it next year, you may have to speak to the coaches about laying off DS.

If you were pretty sure that one of your teen's friends was drinking while the parents were at work, what would you do?

da fat n da furious
10-05-2004, 12:55 AM
Ask your child if her friend is drinking while the parents are at work. And if so, ask her what her parents are like and then decide how well you know the kid,,,well enough to be someone they can talk to...or if the parents are approachable talk to them, would you want to know if your child was doing that?

What would you do if you had a friend who talks non stop about her weight,,,how big and fat she is when shes like a size 8? She used to be a 6 but gained abit,,,shes is obsessed with trying to lose it and calls and wants to talk for hours about it.

RosieKate
10-05-2004, 12:08 PM
oh- I know I would just lose it after awhile and tell her to stfu (excuse my language). Ok, it's strong, but I can be that way when people get too self absorbed on me. When someone does that around a person who is truly trying to make healthy changes to lose weight, that is just plain rude. Tell her to take all that energy and focus it on, say, the homeless, or the genocide in Sudan.....

Hmmm - now my turn, and I am getting progessively worse at coming up with scenarios....Ok, how do you go about getting something back that you have lent to someone without putting them on the spot and/or making them feel bad? I was raised to just expect it back when you get it and if you loaned to a flake, well, you just have to consider that you gave it to them. DH has a different view, which is you basically hunt them down and ask for it back.....

Jane
10-05-2004, 06:16 PM
I would call the person and ask for it after we chit-chatted about other stuff first.. kind of like, oh by the way, when can I come by and pick up my ____ that I loaned you? And if the person gets embarrassed, too bad! She should have returned it long ago!

Now, what would you do if someone (not your best friend) asked to borrow something that you really don't want them to. Not a cup of sugar, but something more valuable, like a piece of jewelry or an expensive piece of clothing?

FrouFrou
10-06-2004, 04:45 PM
First I have to comment on Angies question-I had a friend who was always talking about needing to lose 5 or 10 pounds and I looked at her and said "WHAT!" "WHERE!" She was 5ft. 9 and she said she weighed 110 lbs. I think it was more like 90-100 she was so skinny and wore a size 0-1. Crazy! She wasn't obsessed with losing it or talking about losing it but just every now and then we would talk about losing weight. I told her she looked fine and I didn't see where she needed to lose anything anywhere.

Anyway..Jane to your question I would just tell them no, especially to the jewelry. I don't have a lot of jewelry and what I do have 98% Vince bought me for a special occasion and I could never loan that to anyone. The same with expensive clothes-don't care for sharing clothes with anyone period, not even my sisters.

What would you say to a relative or friend who has overstayed their welcome? They came for a visit and was going to stay for a few days, and the few days turned into weeks and before you knew it a month has come and gone and they are really getting on your nerves? But it looks as if they may continue to stay longer!

Jane
10-07-2004, 04:00 PM
Although it probably isn't right, I'd blame it all on Neal and say HE wants the house back with just family in it. And I'd make sure the person understands that I'm not upset with them, but would offer to call the Holiday Inn for them, lol. 1-800-HOLIDAY :D

What would you do if your co-worker at the next desk hummed all the time and you couldn't have a radio or anything to drown her out?

RosieKate
10-07-2004, 05:59 PM
I'd start singing.....Meeeemmmrreeeez..like the corner of my mind...misty -water- colored memmreeezzz of the way we were........(I'm so evil)

body odor, anyone? What do you do if it's a young tween-ager girl and the parents (not close friends) appear to be clueless?

Jane
10-08-2004, 08:41 AM
Katy, I actually had this one happen. The girl was a friend of my Katie's, but I didn't know the mom well enough to bring it up.... so I made these gift basket for both girls and included face wash, Secret anti-perspirant, bath beads, nail supplies, Love's Baby Soft cologne and some hair scrunchies I had made. (Maybe some other stuff too, I can't remember it all.) and it worked, too, the friend DID start using the anti-perspirant.


Could you become close friends with someone who doesn't like your favorite cat/dog and always shoos them away?

Katiecat
10-08-2004, 11:18 AM
Yeah, I could, because my cat is schizophrenic and doesn't like anyone but me and my husband (well, she loves Tim but sometimes doesn't like him, and she tolerates my sons). She will approach visitors and sniff their ankles -- but if they try to reach down and greet her, "aw, hi little kitty..." she hisses and backs away, yellow eyes glowing with malice... It's almost impossible to believe she is the same cat that wakes us up every morning, walking back and forth all over us on the bed, purring and rubbing her furry face on ours. So, we actually shoo visitors away from our cat for their own protection! LOL But on the other hand, I know some people just aren't "dog" or "cat" people -- sometimes they've had a bad experience, or they grew up in a house where they were taught animals are dirty or a hassle. So, that's ok, there are probably other reasons why that person and I could be friends. If my pets really bothered them, I might put my pet in my room while they visited (Chloe is often exiled to the bedroom when we have company), or I'd suggest we meet at the friend's house instead, or go out somewhere.

OK, here's a scenario: you have too many bosses at work telling you to do too many different things, often in conflict with each other. None of the bosses appear to have authority over each other, but they all have different agendas and different priorities. I have three different supervisors right now that are telling me to handle my required duties differently, and I don't know if I follow the last order I was given until someone else comes along and tells me to do it a different way, or if I email them all the same email and let them hash it out? Yikes, does this even make any sense?

da fat n da furious
10-08-2004, 09:01 PM
Go to the top boss and ask for a moment of their time. Then ask what you can do about this problem of not knowing who's authority to follow. I have been in that same situation and I would start something then be taken away from that project by another supervisor then the first one would come by and freak when Im not doing their project and on and on it went. I finally went and asked the top boss what I can do other then lose my mind. I did it in a humerous way, and all came out well, I was promoted to supervisor and was in charge of all of them! Life has a way of working itself out eh?...lol

What would you do if you work next to a woman who has no tact? You work in a customer service inviroment and shes blabbing away about inapproperiate things such as working in a *love shop* ( adult sex stuff) You know she needs the money bad.
You have given her a few hints that what she saying is inapproperiate.

Jane
10-08-2004, 10:07 PM
Where is the supervisor? He/she is the one who should be picking up on the conversations the co-worker is having. IMHO, since you've already given her some subtle hints, at most, you could give her some stronger ones.


Although I have given hypothetical situations so far, here's one that happened a long time ago. Tell me what you'd do, then I'll tell you what I did.

Back in my 20's, I made ham salad to take to the Indy 500. Ground the meat, etc, and placed it all in a 1/2 gallon Tupperware bowl. This was at a lover's house. I turned my back to rinse off the spoon I had used, and when I turned back around, his daughter's cat was licking the ham salad in the bowl!

What should a Jaded Lady have done????? Throw it all out? Scoop out where the cat had been licking? Kill the cat?? We had other food to take - chicken, etc., just so you'll know.

da fat n da furious
10-09-2004, 01:36 AM
I would have grabbed the cat and swatted its butt, then scooped up the area the cat in,,,,then when eating would of avoided that salad...lol kidding...
I would have talked to the lover and asked him if he was ok with eating left overs from the cat...lol and then left the salad cause I know I wouldn't have been.

Your at a children's activity and later in the evening when darkness falls, a group of older teens show up and loudly start to use profanity. What would you do?

Jane
10-10-2004, 05:22 PM
First, let me tell you what happened with the ham salad.... keep in mind that this was during my single mother days when there wasn't enough money to go around. I tossed the cat to the floor, then I scooped out the ham salad all around where the cat was licking and.... you already know what I did!! I smoothed out the rest with the back of a spoon and took it to Indy. There were 6 of us there, and by the time we ate it, we were feeling no pain, and nobody got sick, lol. A friend's S/O commented how good it was, saying it had just the right amount of onion.... I had to laugh, but didn't 'fess up! And I never forgot it, either, lol.

Now, about Angie's question. Since it was teens, I would very nicely ask them to please watch their language. Actually, this happened to us in a DQ years ago. And one of the kids said "Sorry" then they all left. If it was an older bunch, or a threatening-looking bunch, I'd take my kids and leave. Too many NUTBALLS running around with guns, knives, etc.

Here's a trick I've used since then, in the movies, etc. Tell the offending kid "Oh I thought that was you! Tell your mom that Jane said hi, ok?" This turns them into perfect angels, since they don't want you narcing to their momma, lol, even if you don't really have a clue who the kid is.

Here's one for you, and this is a real situation. One of my "friends" acts all buddy-buddy when it's just us together, but acts more reserved, and will even say "picky" things when there're others around. That really makes me uncomfortable.....

FrouFrou
10-12-2004, 01:00 PM
Well, I have to say I had a friend, or so-called friend that did that and I let it slide. I wasn't sure what to do about it but I thought if it was so important for her to make me feel that way then more power to her. I decided I was above that and would never stoop to treating someone that way. She knew that I wasn't pleased with the way she was acting as I would just give her a look. Of course this didn't last long anyway and I think that deep down I knew it wouldn't, one reason I let it slide. I caught her in so many lies the friendship couldn't continue and she knew it. There were never words between the two of us but just from our conversations we both knew the so-called friendship was over. It just ended.


Let's say you have been friends with someone for years, many, many years and you are the one who keeps the friendship going. The other person hardly ever calls, writes, emails, etc. or reciprocates a lunch or dinner date and you have done a lot for her and her kids. You feel there is a bond but at the same time not because you wonder how a friendship can continue or if there really is a friendship with it being one-sided or so it seems. What would a JL do?

Jane
10-25-2004, 06:20 PM
I would just let it go... friendships have to be 2-sided to work. Actually, this happened to me with 2 different people over the years. One was a school friend, and the other was a neighbor from town. Both always seemed so glad to hear from me when I initiated a phone call, but after a while, neither called back and I didn't like being the one to always keep the friendship alive. So, sadly, each one went by the wayside......

If you found a plain white envelope in a parking lot with $1000.00 in it, what would you do?


No, I didn't find one, lol!

da fat n da furious
10-25-2004, 11:31 PM
Thank my angel for sending down shoe money .... no really I would check out all the stores nearby and ask if anyone lost anything and leave my name and number. Don't give the amount or that it was in an evelope. This will be how the person who lost will identify it.

What would you do if your one sibling said she always felt there was another kid your father, fathered but has never told anyone about. She evesdropped... and years later have come across someone who matches the age, and similar physical characteristics, and has both of the family given names?

FrouFrou
10-25-2004, 11:44 PM
I guess I can kind of relate to this Angie because my dad did father a child by another woman when he and my mother were seperated. All I know is the woman is Asian and from what my brother & SIL said she is very pretty. Okay, what she saw in my dad if she was pretty I will never know. Anyway, they said she had an abortion because in their culture it is a disgrace to have a baby out of wedlock but we really don't know, she was also thinking of adoption. I kind of think he may have fathered more but we will never know. Wouldn't even know where to begin. But, if they were to try and find me I would welcome them with open arms. I don't hold any ill feelings toward them nor would I ever, besides they would be a part of me being a half-sibling and I would never turn my back on them if they were to want to meet. Now my brothers and sisters are a totally different story.

What would you do if you actually caught your teens best friend having sex in a public place? Would you tell the parent(s)? Would you have a talk with the teen? Or would you just let it go?

Jane
10-26-2004, 07:41 PM
If the girl was my DD best friend, that would mean I knew her pretty well, so I'd talk to her and try my best to come across as caring and not preachy, but I'd be armed with a list of "what-ifs".


If you thought your close friend's new BF was married, but not telling her, what would you do?

RosieKate
10-27-2004, 12:07 PM
Definitely give an opinion, if asked for. In the beginning of a new relationship, close girlfriends will chat, I think the friend is probably wondering all the usual questions that one has in a new relationship, so unless she is so gaga she is beyond reason I see no problem with saying something in the course of a conversation about that is about the guy already. I would start out pointing out all the good qualities that person has, but then maybe a question like "Don't you think it's wierd you haven't been to his house yet? Wonder what's up" Something like that.

OK, longstanding Emily Post question...written thank you notes for ALL gifts, or just those not opened in the presence of the giver and thanked for personally? The exceptions, of course are bridal and baby showers and large birthday parties, because it's very difficult to thank everyone personally in those situations. The book says the former, but seems like everyone I know expects them for all gifts - just wondered what the JLs thought....

FrouFrou
10-27-2004, 01:13 PM
Me being me and liking to send cards, I would send Thank-yous to all regardless of whether I thanked them personally or it is expected.

What would you do if your best friend was cheating on her hubby?

Jane
10-31-2004, 06:47 PM
I would for sure still be her friend, but wouldn't cover for her. I'd help her get to the root of why she was cheating, if I was able, and if she wanted me to.



What's a Jaded Lady to do when you attend a weekly business meeting of ... say, 8.... people in a conference room, and the boss lady wears too much unpleasant cologne and it permeates the room?

Totally hypothetical, of course, since I don't HAVE a job, lol.

Marti
10-31-2004, 07:38 PM
Well hmmm....I don't think I would want to make direct attention to it, so I personally would sit farthest away from her. And maybe mention it to someone who was closer to her (friendship wise) so she could possibly talk with her.

Now....at Sony, we had a tech who wore WAY too much cologne.....and since I knew him well, I went up to him and told him that he really shouldn't bath in the stuff and learn how to dab a little here and dab a little there. His respond was a laugh and then he sprayed more on! (we were friends)

Ok....since I haven't posted on this one yet.....here it goes.


Let's go back to our teen years....what would you do if you saw one of your siblings sneaking a cigarette???

Jane
11-02-2004, 09:15 AM
Since all of my sisters (had no brothers) were older than me, I wouldn't say anything. They would've beat the stuffing outta me!, lol. Not only that, but we never narced each other out for anything that I can remember.....probably should have, though!!

What would a Jaded Lady do if she is having lunch at a friends house, and she sees a big fat roach on the countertop where the lunch things are laid out, but the friend doesn't see it? (totally hypothetical!)

Samantha2002
11-02-2004, 03:15 PM
Hope you guys don't mind if I join this post :)

Being me, absolutely TERRIFIED of cockroaches, I probably would not have time to think of the most tactful approach to the situation, because I would scream! I suppose the tactful thing to do would be to kill the roach, discard of it, and talk to your friend after the party.

OK heres one that happened to me:

My friend at work came up with the idea for a few of us to go out to dinner one night, and then go to a movie afterwards. So, the night came by & she showed up with her boyfriend (which I totally don't mind) but wouldn't even SIT with us. And she didn't go to the movie with us either.

THEN...

The next weekend we decided to go to our usual hang out at the bar & have a few drinks. She called us after she got out of work & said she was on her way. About an hour later we called her because we were getting worried, and she wouldn't answer her phone. We probably called about 5 or 6 times, trying to get ahold of her. The next day, we asked her what happened, and she just said "oh, I just felt like staying home" I was super pissed because she could have either CALLED US or at LEAST ANSWERED HER FREAKING PHONE when we called her.

What would you say to her? Would you hang out with her anymore? Keep in mind that when she DOES go, we always have a GREAT time.

FrouFrou
11-02-2004, 04:25 PM
I don't really see the big deal but do think it a bit rude that she wanted to go and didn't bother to sit with you guys. And yeah, I think she should have called and said she couldn't or wasn't going to make it to the hang-out instead of leaving you guys hanging and not knowing if she was in an accident. But if the friendship is a good one I don't see why you wouldn't hang out with her anymore. I would just come out and tell her that you thought it was rude the way she carried on, that is if you did. And that the next time you guys all decide to go out if she decides later on she doesn't want to to please call and say so. She at least does owe you that. Or since she has been carrying on this way and if you don't want to leave her out, invite her but keep in thought that you will go and have a good time without her. You know, if she shows, she shows, if not oh well. I think if you exclude her it wouldn't be good especially since you work together. Anyway...that's my 2 cents.


What would you do if you were at a friends house for dinner and she had things on the kitchen counter, preparing food and prepared food, and her cat jumped up on the kitchen counter and walked right over the food? Would you eat it? Would you say something, or would you just pass on it? Or would you try to get the cat off the counter? This did happen! :yikes:

Marti
11-02-2004, 04:40 PM
There is NO way I would eat it. That cat was in a litter box and who knows where else. I would just exclaim "OMG!! The cat just trampled over our food...lets just go out for lunch"
But I guess you just asked if the cat just went up to the food...I would grab the cat right away and then ask the person preparring food what do with it or if it was my preparing.....get rid of what the cat got too.


Ok....You see this extremely large woman waiting for her ride, she is in extreme pain just standing up holding her weight, when the car arrives, she struggles to walk to it and get in....and she's angry. That seems to be her personality from being overweight. Would you have offered her some support or some help getting in or keep walking?

Jane
11-02-2004, 05:26 PM
Angry people don't usually calm down instantly, so, I'd keep on going and say a silent little prayer for her under my breath. No way do I want to draw attention to myself with a pain-filled woman with an attitude, , especially a very large one at that! Whoever is driving the car should help her.....


What's a Jaded Lady to do about a guest who won't leave? She came for lunch, now it's 5-ish and you have to get things done....

FrouFrou
11-03-2004, 01:49 PM
I would politely tell the guest that although I have enjoyed her company/visit I really have things I need to get done and the family will be home soon. And maybe we can get together again some other day.

What would you do about a friend or so-called friend you think is a backstabber? She comes off like she is all sweet and innocent but when with you she talks about others and then turns around and talks to the others like they are the best of friends which leaves you wondering about all kinds of things she says and does. So you don't know if you can really trust this person.

Jane
11-03-2004, 04:08 PM
I know a woman just like this!! I have remained friends, but don't share anything with her that I wouldn't want published on the front page of the newspaper, and she lost my trust completely!

What's a Jaded Lady to do about someone who is repeatedly late for meetings, get-togethers, etc?

FrouFrou
11-03-2004, 05:23 PM
Know exactly what ya mean Jane. I know several women like that and I don't say anything I wouldn't want repeated. But then I don't have anything against anyone that I would be talking about them anyway, so that's not a problem. Don't trust them and never will and while I said friends they really aren't friends. Anywhoo...on to your question...

For me it depends on how late they are. I have a friend who is habitually late, no matter what. I have learned to accept it and compensate. When we meet I know not to get there too early as I really don't like to wait on people. Again it depends on how long a wait. If it is less than 1/2 hour I can deal with it but longer than that no way. I honestly don't care to wait on someone for very long. I would definitely say something though like "If you are going to be late from now on could you please give me a call" unless of course there was an accident and the traffic was backed up to cause her to be late or if there was an emergency. I tend to worry that something happened if they are too late. Again, I think it goes back to the person, like my friend who is late for everything-everything! I just expect it from her.

What would you do if you caught your hubby kissing your sister and they said it was nothing, just a greeting kind of kiss? But it looked pretty hot and heavy to you?

(This is totally hypothetical as my hubby has never met my sisters!)

Marti
11-04-2004, 07:22 AM
I'd throw a fit! Call me insecure but I can just see myself be that way. Although, I can NEVER even imagine any of my sisters and James.....He loves me too much! :D

Ok....this one happened at work today.....so here it goes.

One of the lead ladies told me that a former Sony worker applied at OML, told me who it was and asked me what I thought of her......this woman was slow, hard to train and had many many problems w/orders, but she tried hard and was a very nice person....what woudl JL tell the lead?


BTW.....the other one I wrote about the heavy woman, that happened to me too when I went up to the employment office. I did exactly what you suggested, kept walking. She scared me although I felt for her.

FrouFrou
11-04-2004, 11:26 AM
I could/would never be a boss because I have such a big heart and believe in giving everyone a chance so...I would just tell her she is a nice person and a hard worker. Because you don't really know if maybe she has changed since working at Sony. Maybe now she is really needing a job and is willing to try even harder. And if not they will find out and fire her or at least have a talk with her.


What would a JL do if her best friend that you have known for 10 years or better, or you thought she was your best friend, was getting married and she asked someone she has known only a couple of months to be her maid of honor and you thought for sure she would ask you? Or at least ask you to be a bridesmaid. And she doesn't even bother to include you in any part of it, just to be there on the day and to be at the shower. Then when the day finally arrives she totally ignores you and you find out later that they went to a hotel with some other friends to party before going off on their honeymoon.

Samantha2002
11-04-2004, 01:15 PM
OUCH. That would hurt big time. I would probably call her up, after the wedding, honeymoon, after everything has settled back down, and ask her why she did that to me. It's possible she didn't mean to hurt you, but it's also possible that she doesn't feel the same way about you, and maybe you should keep your distance.

What would you do if:

You made a wonderful pot of chili for you & your husband. There might be a little bit extra for leftovers. Just as you are starting to eat, your neighbor comes over to hang out, so being a nice Jaded Lady, you offer her a small bowl. She goes home to get a HUGE bowl & fills it up, even though your husband isn't home from work to eat yet, and now there isn't enough left for him! What would you do?

Jane
11-04-2004, 02:04 PM
Well, since she's already filled it up, I'd let it go. No way would I humiliate her by asking her to put some back. And I would consider it a lesson learned, lol, while I call out for pizza for DH.


This really happened: Neal, being very proud of me, told one of the other professors (teeny tiny female) that I've lost 78 pounds now, and she said "Wow, that's great... how much does she weigh now?" Neal said "I don't know how much she weighs and I'm sure not going to ask her, ha ha." But don't you think this took nerve on her part??? If/when I run into her, I won't bring it up, but if she does, what should I say?

(Btw, a church friend said to me "What size do you wear now, if you don't mind my asking?" And I replied, "Well, I don't really discuss that since sizes vary so much and aren't really a true indicator of my loss.")

FrouFrou
11-04-2004, 06:01 PM
To be honest I don't really see anything wrong with the question but that's me and everyone is different. The people that I have known that have lost a lot of weight were very proud of making it to goal and didn't mind at all telling others what their starting weight was and what they were at at goal. And I would do the same because when I make my goal I would be more than happy to tell anyone and everyone what I weigh or what size I wear. Shoot, you ladies all know how much I weigh now and I keep going up and down!! But if it is too personal for you and you think it is no ones business then I would just say politely that "It is personal and I would rather not discuss it" (I hope that came out right??)

Anyhoo...

What would a JL do if she went to the show with a friend who you knew was trying to lose weight but for some reason she decided to pig out? She bought nachos, a hot dog, popcorn, candy and to top it off a jumbo sized soda!

(And no I didn't do that today at the show!! :lol: There is no way I could ever eat that much food in one sitting! I am having a hard time coming up with questions to ask!)

Jane
11-04-2004, 10:26 PM
Maybe she saved all her WW points just for that, lol!!! But since that's highly doubtful, I'd leave her to her own demons, and stay out of it.

Hmmm.... I, too, am running out of questions... :?:

What would a phoneless JL do if she was being flagged down on a dark road by a woman?

da fat n da furious
11-05-2004, 12:26 AM
Slow down not rolling down the windows all the way,,,keeping doors locked and eyes open for all around the vehicle ask her what the problem is? She may have a phone and had called already. If not tell her you would be glad to call someone for her once you get to your destination. And tell her to get back in her vehicle cause its not safe.


this is what Im dealing with right now.

When ever we have a cast / crew member do something great we always make sure to let them know our appreciations by bring it up infront of everyone and applauding their hard work or thoughtfulness. Anyways the problem is, we have one guy who each time this happens makes sure to run over to that person and does something goofy and takes the attention away from that person. I feel that each person is intitled to credit without him interferring.
So what would a JL do about this?

Jane
11-06-2004, 08:23 AM
Go to the new What's a Jaded Lady to do" thread to comment on Angie's question, please.