100 lb. Club - Romance?????




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Annie-Rose
09-21-2004, 02:01 PM
Hi, I feel silly putting this in but I need a bit of wisdom and a lot of encouragement!
I have a terrible relationship track history, really awful and I've kind of 'shut' romantic relationships out in the past few years, some of it has been to do with being overweight and insecure etc.
Well, at work there's this man and I have to work with him a lot, he's good fun and we laugh a lot and he's gorgeous. Well I never thought in a month of Sundays that he'd be attracted to me (loads of other women like him) but it seems that he may be! (AAAAAH!) He asked me out for drinks (in front of others) and I just said no. I don't know why I said no. I was just scared. I know I sound pathetic but I was thinking what will his friends think of my size? what if he puts his arm around me and feels how big I am and doesn't like me?
Some of us are going out at the weekend so I thought I could ask him along. I just feel a bit scared. I'm scared he'll reject me. The thing I hate the most is that if one of you were writing this I'd be saying 'Go for it! Size doesn't matter' but I just have a hard time believing it about myself. What's that all about? I have amazing friends and never consider my weight with them.
Phew, I've written this about 3 times over the past few days and then not posted it. Thanks for reading and if anyone can shed any light on the situation I'd be most greatful.


nelie
09-21-2004, 02:21 PM
Honestly, its not like your size is a secret to him, he can tell. He knows you, knows what you look like and it is quite possible that he likes you. I'm not really one to talk because my weight has always made me shy and insecure and even when I was dating someone, I couldn't understand why they would want to date me. Anyway, it is going out, it is not like going to the prom or something. If he says no, then so what? If he says yes, then you may have a good time.

Samantha2002
09-21-2004, 02:22 PM
I say, go for it. The only person that seems to be concerned about your size is you. This man has apparently gotten to know the real you, the person that you keep inside, and he likes her!!! Besides, how would you feel if 5 years down the road you look back and say "what if I had gone out with him?" AND, he already asked you out, so that takes half of the pressure off!!!! OMG...I love new romance!!! GO OUT WITH HIM!! (Especially if he is cute lol)
Let us know how it goes!!


Jen
09-21-2004, 03:17 PM
I don't think that size matters either and if you are getting the feeling that he would like to go with you then why not? However since you've rejected him once in front of other people when he asked you out for drinks I would approach him in a way so that he doesn't reject you just because he had hurt feelings. Maybe you could try saying, sorry I couldn't get together for drinks the other day, kind of took me by surprise, maybe we could get together this weekend...?

lessofsarahtolove
09-21-2004, 03:21 PM
Aww, you sweetie pie.....I can completely understand! And I can relate to being able to dish out all kinds of wise perspective-based advice and then being all "skewed up" when it comes to yourself! I have been with my partner for 6 years now, and I can say that it took an act of naked courage to go out with her initially because I couldn't imagine what she could see in me -- and that was at about 180 pounds (about a hundred pounds less than what I grew to during our relationship!)

The thing is, you just need to understand this: You are clueless. Your perspective, in the areas of your appearance and desirability, is, um, WACKED! You are not to be trusted when it comes to this. I say this with love. ;) If the man wants to take you out for drinks, then do NOT, under any circumstances, second guess his judgement. He knows far more than you about both your attractiveness to him and your potential as good company!

Go, go, go, girl. You deserve to have some fun, and you deserve to flirt and enjoy a man's company. I say invite him -- and next time he invites YOU out, say bugger off to those evil voices................and say, "Yes, that sounds great, thanks!" to the man. Practice it. :) :) :)

And congratulations, you vixen! :grouphug:

tolose85
09-21-2004, 03:46 PM
Alright... Here's what you MUST do!! Ask him out for drinks. Go ahead.... Ask him out! Just think of what you could be missing if you don't. So what if after the date it doesn't go as well as you'd have liked it to. It could very well end up being wonderful, the best time you ever had in your entire life and then next thing you know you've been dating for a year and he's asked you to marry him!! ok well I might be getting a little ahead here but you see where I am going with this right?
Go for it! Go for it! Go for it! Youre beautiful!

Charbar
09-21-2004, 04:08 PM
I just love LOVE!!
Go for it - go for it .. go for it!!

Please PLEASE don't belittle yourself. If you do - your worst fears will come true.
Trust me, men loved to be asked out like woman do.

I've asked men out before - it has given me a new respect for when they ask us out!
Live your life the way you dream it - or your dreams will never come true.

Dana

jiffypop
09-21-2004, 04:53 PM
go ahead. be brave. you KNOW he likes you on at least SOME level. otherwise he wouldn't have asked you out for drinks.

do it privately - and a lot of the strategy depends on the tone/reason you gave for turning him down the first time [i'm sorry - i wasn't thinking - i had plans the NEXT night but i got confused.] [could we reschedule those drinks? i'd love to sit down and talk to you about ..... ]

[i'm so sorry i couldn't go out with you the other night, and the really sad thing is that my plans were canceled at the last minute so i could have gone after all!!!]

you'll think of something...

PS. this is SOO MUCH MORE FUN than working!!!!

lessofsarahtolove
09-21-2004, 05:53 PM
:lol3: at Jiffypop! I hear you, sister!

Annie-Rose
09-21-2004, 06:30 PM
You are right. Watch this space. I'll let you know. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

Annie-Rose
09-21-2004, 06:32 PM
obviously there's a time difference - Its 10.38 pm here so I'll have to do it tomorrow.
Did I mention his lovely bum?

jkfla
09-21-2004, 09:34 PM
awwww i'm feeling all giddy for you! LOL this is so sweet and cute!
i say go for it and OMG i can't wait to hear an update!!!!!!

jiffypop
09-21-2004, 09:55 PM
you mean... we have to be PATIENT????? annie.. ya gotta let us know early... i'm leaving the office for a business trip tomorrow afternoon.. i GOTTA know before i leave... please.. i'm living vicariously here.

Samantha2002
09-21-2004, 11:19 PM
I'm with everyone else!!! We need an update very very soon!!!

djs06
09-22-2004, 12:37 AM
I agree with everyone! He likes you. He's not going to reject you. Just explain that you were flustered/having a bad day/out of it, and you really would like to go out sometime. and like they say above, do it privately, it's much less daunting.

can't wait to hear the update!

Annie-Rose
09-22-2004, 12:55 PM
O.k I did it! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!
I just said sorry about the other time and that I just wasn't expecting it. He said "Does that mean you'd like to go out sometime?" :D :D :D :D I said I'd love to, SO IT IS ON THIS FRIDAY!!!!! :eek: :love: :T ;)
It was easy! Why did I make it so hard? :dizzy:
He even brought coffee to my office at lunch time for me :p (it's 5.00pm now)
I'll keep you posted!

tolose85
09-22-2004, 12:56 PM
That just Totally Made my day.. I am SO happy for you. I love romance!! Have fun with it!!

Jen
09-22-2004, 12:57 PM
YAHOOO!!!!! Way to go!

djs06
09-22-2004, 01:19 PM
Annie Rose! This is so awesome! Can't wait for an update about the big date :)

Samantha2002
09-22-2004, 01:38 PM
SEE??? Aren't you glad you asked :) :) :)

Annie-Rose
09-22-2004, 01:45 PM
I am so glad. I can't believe I got so OTT about it too! What a fuss! Thanks to all you lovely lovely people for your help. I CAN'T STOP SMILING!

Charbar
09-22-2004, 04:48 PM
Congrats you must be on :cloud9: I really hope you have a wonderful time on Friday - WE WANT DETAILS!! ;)

Dana

MoveMoveMove
09-22-2004, 05:21 PM
You go girl :high: . I'm proud of ya!

jkfla
09-22-2004, 05:34 PM
WOO HOO!!!!!!! i am so excited i could just jump up and down!
OMG I feel like a teenager again. LOL
you better keep us updated!

barbygirl43
09-22-2004, 06:46 PM
That is great. Look at you for getting the courage to ask him out. Can't wait to hear how it went.

Samantha2002
09-23-2004, 04:26 PM
Annie-Rose, Are you getting excited? Where are you guys going? Is it a dinner date? To the movies? Or just to get drinks? OMG...you have to keep us posted!!

lessofsarahtolove
09-23-2004, 10:21 PM
Annie-Rose, you tease......you need to give us more information! I'm so proud of you and excited for you I could just burst! I'm so happy about this!! Ok, tomorrow's Friday....where are you going and what are you wearing? And are you a kiss on the first date kind of girl? Are you meeting out or is he picking you up? These are the things I need to know.

NEED INFORMATION NOW. :lol:

mezmerize
09-24-2004, 02:50 AM
Annie-Rose I'm going to give you some advice my mommy gave me before I went on a date. She said don't let him put his hand on your knee... My knee??? HUMM well it wasn't til years later I asked my mom why she said that. She said they try and sneak it up. ROFL!!! Well that's my advice cos I'm a mommy now and I feel it's my duty to share that. :)
Please don't forget to share the juicy details. I mean play by play. I'm married and my husband never really got the meaning of romance down. So I'm going to live vicarious through you and romance books ... hope you don't mind. ;)

Seriously have a great time!
Mez

Samantha2002
09-24-2004, 08:48 AM
LOL I think Annie-Rose has forgotten all about us!

Tonight's the night!!!

Annie-Rose
09-24-2004, 07:06 PM
I am so a kiss on the first date girl Sarah. :D
Just got in - its 11.00pm here - we went out from work for drinks and stayed out for dinner! I just had a great time! Really, really great. We're going out next week for dinner and we were discussing movies we wanted to go and see. I have just laughed and laughed and laughed. Mez he didn't put his hand on my knee but I've got that scheduled for next time we go out. :devil: It ended with a kiss! A great big smacker!
Aaah I can't believe it!
Love Annie xx

JennasMom
09-24-2004, 07:26 PM
How exciting!

I am glad you had such a great time. I miss that excitement... all I have now is a boring ol' husband, lol.

lessofsarahtolove
09-24-2004, 07:50 PM
ANNIE-ROSE!!!!!! I'm so happy!!! It sounds WONDERFUL! And I'm so excited for you, I read your whole post aloud with an English accent (sorry, just a generic accent, can't recall the nuances of that of the Northwest!) and you sounded excited too! :lol: Ok, I'm a real dork, but I'm just so, so happy! :cp: :cb: :cp: :cb:

It couldn't happen to a nicer gal....... ENJOY! :goodvibes

Annie-Rose
09-24-2004, 08:00 PM
LOL - thanks - I dont think I'll be able to sleep tonight! Thanks to everyone for being so interested and excited.
I'm just :flame: :flame: :flame: :flame: :flame: :flame: :flame:

mezmerize
09-24-2004, 08:58 PM
Yea!!! I'm glad to hear you had a wonderful time!!!
Mez

Samantha2002
09-24-2004, 09:12 PM
Annie-Rose - I'm the same as JennasMom, married for 3 years now...I have to live vicariously through you!! I'm so excited!!! Tell him that if he turns out to be a jerk, he's got lots of angry girls that will kick his ***!!!

:) :) Sam

jiffypop
09-24-2004, 09:20 PM
YES YES YES!!!!!! congratulations!!! this is so exciting... and so fabulous... add me to the 'living vicariously' list...

sorry i couldn't post sooner... business trip. wireless didn't work...

tell ALL. ya gotta keep us posted. DETAILS!!!!!!!

tolose85
09-24-2004, 09:23 PM
THAT IS AWESOME!!!!!!! I am SOOOOO happy for you!!! Whaaawhoooo!!

And Kissing... woooo.. YOU GO GIRL!!

Goddess Jessica
09-24-2004, 09:33 PM
:lol: Oh I'm so sad that I missed this post. I have to put my little piece of "wisdom" up here too.

When I was dating the Cute Boyfriend, I knew it was "moving onto the next level." In other words, being NEKKID was the next step. I confided in a friend tearfully that I was scared to death to be naked in front of him, I mean, he might find out that I'm fat!! My friend bluntly said, "Do you really think your clothes make you look like Fiona Apple?"

We lose our minds. When we were naked, I could have had another head, he wouldn't have noticed. :dizzy:

Sick_of_this
09-24-2004, 10:31 PM
HAHAHA Jessica, I know exactly what you're talking about!! We get so scared (well at least me) when it comes to the nekkid part of the relationship and I had a friend say something similar to me, only she said something like, "You think all this time you've been making out he didn't notice you weren't thin?"

I thought about that, and I was like, yeah, duh, he can feel the rolls over the clothes! haha

Samantha2002
09-25-2004, 11:19 AM
LOL You guys crack me up...Unfortunately I don't think THIS problem will ever go away, even when we are skinny....there's something very intimidating about being in front of someone else so exposed.

Charbar
09-26-2004, 09:46 AM
Annie.. I can "hear" your excitement.. You've brought back some great memories of when dh and I started dating. Those were such amazing times!!!!! We had sex like rabbits!!

I am so happy for you :grouphug:

Dana

Annie-Rose
09-26-2004, 12:22 PM
:o :) I'm finding it hard enough to concentrate as it is!!!!!!!!!! :flame: :dizzy:

teapotdynamo
09-26-2004, 10:22 PM
I want a picture of the famous bum :).

Congrats, Annie-Rose!!!

Fitbabe
09-27-2004, 11:01 PM
Aaaahhhh!!!!!! I am so sorry I missed this thread earlier! Annie-Rose, you are awesome!!!! That was so brave of you to ask him out!!! I am so happy for you! Don't worry one bit about your body - obviously he likes what he sees. By the way, I met my husband at my highest weight ever, and he loved every inch of me. YAY! I'm so happy for you.....

Samantha2002
09-28-2004, 12:37 AM
So Annie....when is the second date?

nelie
09-28-2004, 01:50 AM
Congratulations Annie, can you send me some of your good luck romance vibes my way? ;)

Annie-Rose
09-29-2004, 01:44 PM
The next date is tomorrow. It's a bit weird working together - I'm never really sure how to talk to him. Hope we have lots and lots of fun!!!!

lessofsarahtolove
09-29-2004, 01:58 PM
Go, Go, Go, Annie-Rose! You could always drop your pencil a few times when in his vicinity -- that might alleviate that, um, conversational awkwardness.... ;)

Annie-Rose
09-29-2004, 02:06 PM
:lol: Outrageous!

Orangecupcakez
09-29-2004, 03:14 PM
Ohhhhh I love new romance! I have been married 2 years ... I remember when we first started dating! :dance:

Samantha2002
09-30-2004, 01:30 PM
Annie - we are waiting on the update.....

Annie-Rose
10-01-2004, 06:51 PM
well I'm tired today because we had a very late night last night! I'm sorry if this is boring...but you did ask!!!! We met in town and went out for drinks and dinner and just talked and talked. I'm seeing him tomorrow. He's coming to my home. He told some of my friends at work how lovely he thinks I am. I just laugh so much when I'm with him! I sound a real saddo! :dizzy:

Samantha2002
10-02-2004, 02:23 PM
Annie - I am so happy for you!! I am so glad that you guys are getting along so well!!! I don't think I know where you live....isn't it Europe or something???

:) Sam

lil_cara_mia
10-02-2004, 04:57 PM
I just read this thread, and well.. I'm nosey! LOL :lol:

How did it go?? (ACK, I missed your post from yesterday.. congrats!)

There was a time when I was as scared as you in your first post, and I met the most fantastic, ultra-sexy man. A quick friendship turned into great chemistry, and before I knew it, he went from friend, to "more".

Hardest thing to do was swallow my fear and accept that maybe he really did like "me" fat and all. It's 4 years later, we have a terrific marriage (he proposed 6 weeks into our relationship, and nut case that I am, I said yes lol!), we've got a beautiful 2 year old baby girl.. and I can honestly say, taking that leap of faith was one of the best things I've ever done in my entire life. Ok, so, enough about my little cinderella story.. I'm just saying, if you don't take the chance, you never know what might happen. So, go for it!

Wishing you the very best of luck and happiness.

Heather

jiffypop
10-02-2004, 05:29 PM
annie... this is so ab-fab!!!!! congratulations!!!!! can't wait to read more. and believe me, it's not boring!!!!

have a GREAT time! heaven knows you deserve it!!!!

howie6267
10-02-2004, 05:33 PM
What a great story unfolding here. Sorry I have been so scarce and did not get in on this. I would have said go for it also. I would not worry a thing about your weight either. Some of us guys like plus size girls. I know because I married the best one out there.

Annie-Rose
10-02-2004, 05:41 PM
Howie you are just lovely. Your wife is a lucky lady.
Samanthas I live in England near the Lake District if you've heard of it - Its very beautiful. Thanks for your interest everyone! We've had a great day - and we're definitely an item! I just can't believe I was so scared its just so excellent. So..how did you all meet your loved ones??????

Samantha2002
10-02-2004, 10:53 PM
:lol: I actually met my husband on the internet!!!

We met online in November of 99, in person in February of 2000. In April of 2000 he moved all the way from Miami Florida to Amarillo Texas to be closer to me. August of the same year I moved in with him. November 4th of 2002 we were married.
Ahhhh they should make a movie about us.

:) Sam

howie6267
10-03-2004, 02:08 PM
Kimberley and I met at a singles hay ride back in 1990. We were married just over a year later.

tolose85
10-03-2004, 02:18 PM
I met my husband on line too Samantha!
We met online in Feb 2000 met in person in March 2000 I moved here (we were 4 hours in distance) September 2000 we got married Sept 2001 and have been happily married ever since. We just celebrated our 3 year anniversary one week ago Sunday!

I got a hunk of a husband too baby!! THE BEST THING I EVER DID (besides losing this weight)

lessofsarahtolove
10-03-2004, 03:45 PM
I met my partner of 6 years when she answered my personal ad.....I'd never placed one before, so I was pretty nervous! I thank God I made that move and took the chance, because I found the love of my life! Go figure! We talked on the phone for a couple of weeks, then met...I decided I just wanted to be friends (stupid girl)....changed my mind after a few months, then we dated for 3 months before I moved in with her.....and then 4 1/2 years later we got as close to getting married as we can, and had a commitment ceremony. That was almost 2 years ago and we're still very much in love. My fantasy is to someday be able to actually marry her and have it legally recognized and respected.

I love a love story! :love:

seashell
10-03-2004, 05:20 PM
You go girl! Get a kiss for me while your at it!

Sheila53
10-03-2004, 08:48 PM
I'm so excited for you, Annie! And I'm loving reading these stories.

I met my DH when I was getting my biorhythm chart done by a guy I knew who worked in a computer lab at a comm. college. I'd seen this really tall, big, bearded, longhaired guy in the cafeteria and some friends told me who he was. I was hooked, and knew he hung out in the computer lab. Hhhmm, I guess you could say I stalked him! :lol: I started talking with him after that first introduction, then I asked him out. We had the best time ever on a first date. Then he didn't call. I was so upset that I went to the computer lab and discovered that he'd lost his contact and was wearing dorky high school glasses. He hadn't wanted to call me until he got his new contacts. We still laugh about that 23 years later. I met him in January 1981 and we got married in June 1981. Pretty fast, but we've never regretted it for a second.

chelle567
10-04-2004, 02:01 AM
Awwww, Romance stories are the best!!! Congrats to everyone and to you Annie!! It is fun when you first find love!! That just makes a smile come to my face! Let's see, I just got stationed here and had been here for 3 days, he was due to leave here in a month. I seen my future DH at the chow hall while i was eating and as he was leaving. The only think i could think was-thats going to be my husband. (he didnt even look cute at the time cause he hadnt shaved or anything, he was so scraggy looking! but once he cleaned up, he was hot!!) He was with a group of friends and one guy i had known in school asked me to go hang out with them. I said sure and he gave me the room number. So after eating i went there, thinking it was my friends room, and it was the guys. My friend had went to go change and so the guy and i hung out for a few minutes waiting for everyone. He started to show me pics of his family and then the people started to show up. There was another girl there who was married-and her husband was with her, but she kept haning on him, and i was so mad, i just wanted to rip her off of him-i couldnt believe i was that mad when i had known him for like 30 min!! He didnt talk to me much with everyone there, but as i was leaving, he asked if i wanted to hang out with him the next day. I said sure and within a week we were talking about getting married and within 2 weeks trying to get preg-about a month later we found out i was preg. It took a while to get married due to the amount of paperwork involved, but we married 3 months later, and they ended up letting him stay here-which was extremely lucky cause he already had his orders! wheew!! That was 5 years ago and we had another addition 6 months ago.

barbygirl43
10-04-2004, 12:57 PM
That sound like a super start and your story sounds like how Jeff and my relationship started out.
We 2 met online. He saw my profile and sent me an e-mail. I sat on it for a couple of months. We both lived in the same county and I didn't much care for the town he (now I) was from. So I responded finally to his e-mail. We started chatting and one evening while I was chatting with him, my baby brother came in. Turns out they both went to vo-tech together. So I agreed to meet him.
That was on Dec. 21, 2001. He cooked me dinner at his house and I left at 3 a.m. to go home after watching movies. (I wouldn't let him kiss me that first night.) I went back for movies the next night (he got a smooch then but that's all). We had a few more dates. I moved in in Mar. 2002, got preggo a couple of weeks after that and we got married on June 21, 2002. I feel like I've known him all my life and I honestly can't remember my life before Jeff. :)

gatsby
10-04-2004, 01:17 PM
it's amazing how many people here have met their husbands to be online. as a coincidence i just signed up on an internet dating site, after much prodding. but now i'm so chicken to actually set up a date. i know "go for it" but still. :o i guess it's pretty common and normal now.
you know what would be nice? if i had a date for my brother's wedding in two months. that could be a goal i guess.
well i just don't know how i'm going to do this.
ackk!

gen
i have no nice clothes either!

chelle567
10-04-2004, 05:27 PM
Yeah you should definetly go for it! You never know what will happen! Who knows maybe you will meet someone at the wedding. I am not much of a social person, i never know what to say in a group of people-even i know them!!! Either way, i hope you do have fun when you go!!

Charbar
10-04-2004, 06:40 PM
dh and I met online in Jan 1998 - crazy we were!! I was in Canada and he was in California! Within 5 months I sold everything, quit my job and moved to the states with my cat! :) Think positive - the bigger the risk - the bigger the reward!!

Dana

tolose85
10-04-2004, 10:06 PM
I totally support and agree with the online scene!! Just be careful, there are creeps out there. But if you keep your eyes open and head on and let your heart lead the way, it is a wonderful thing to pursue! Just my two cents. I am partial to the internet dating since I met my hubby there!

nelie
10-04-2004, 10:24 PM
Gen, go for it and let us know how it goes!

I don't think I would ever try an online dating site mostly because I am me ;) Meaning, I've always had trouble dating because of my weight and feeling self concious about it even though I've been with guys who obviously liked me. I would feel a bit self concious putting myself out there. You have made the first step though so that is good, who knows what you'll find?

Of course I'll pass on tips my mom always told me "meet them somewhere" and "always have cash on you for a cab". Of course I suppose a credit card will do as well.

gatsby
10-04-2004, 10:29 PM
this is incredible! i really never knew so many people hooked over the internet.
i'm not getting much action because i haven't put a picture up yet, but i guess i will soon, i pretty much have to.
ok so i have to ask, because this a site for overweight people. did you put up a picture, were you overweight when you met your husbands? did that bother you, make you more self-concious and all that? because the big reason i haven't met anybody in a long while is because i gained weight and just don't feel attractive and don't think anyone would be attracted to me...
gen

Samantha2002
10-04-2004, 10:46 PM
My husband and I didn't meet in an "online dating site" per se...I just really used to enjoy chatting with people that I met on AOL, and that's how I met him. I mailed him pictures of myself, and he did the same, but I was still REALLY nervous when he came here to meet me for the first time. Everything worked out, though, and I am happy now!!!

Oh and I personally WOULD NOT suggest meeting anyone from online, it is really so dangerous (even though I did it, I know, I know, I am a hypocrite!!) ...just everyone out there, please be careful!!
:) Sam

lessofsarahtolove
10-04-2004, 11:02 PM
Hey, Gen, my friend....I was just thinking about how I found it an advantage to be able to just get the weight thing out of the way by stating it up front, and thereby weed out the folks who just wouldn't be able to bring themselves to "go there" with me because of it......I came here to post about it, and lo and behold, you're asking this question! First of all, :grouphug: I am really sorry that you are feeling this right now. When was the last time you went shopping for some new duds to show off your reduced inches and increased muscle tone? And when did you last get your hair done? I'm as staunch a feminist as they come, girlfriend, and I'm just now learning to respect the power of small makeover acts. Recloaking your body in clothes that flatter it, cutting and/or coloring your hair in a way that makes you feel fresher and prettier (I did both!) -- these simple girly things really help to make you feel more confident. I also think that your self esteem would get a big shot in the arm if you allowed yourself to get into the position of receiving some admiring attention. You are loveable and I know you're beautiful, Gen, and you have just SO MUCH to offer some nice man......****, a BUNCH of nice men! :lol:

Now on the topic of pic's, my personal ad was in a newspaper, so I did not have that option...actually she never even read my ad; she just did some kind of phone search (I had left a message about myself) and she liked my voice and what I had to say. I made a point, in both the print ad and the phone message, of saying that I was a big girl. I did it as a sort of defense mechanism, so I wouldn't have to see any disappointed (or worse) expressions if I actually met anyone in person. :eek: When I placed the ad, I did so after a couple of glasses of wine, and then later thought better of it......then when curiosity overcame me, and I listened to my response messages, I thought, "What the ****! What have I got to lose and what am I so afraid of? What if I actually got even a friend out of this?!"

I would recommend saying something right off the bat, use humor, and don't scare them off either by exaggerating your weight based on your perception! Make a point of sharing how much you exercise and how intensely, so they know that you possess energy and wonderful muscle tone! Share your humor and intellect, your charm and your wit.......you possess all of these in abundance. Gen, I know some man would sincerely enjoy your company and find you enormously attractive -- allow yourself the opportunity to have this experience. You can keep it safe, you don't have to make yourself too vulnerable -- and at the same time, sometimes you have to put yourself out there to receive life's gifts. I was terrified, and looking within myself for the courage to make this move brought me love and joy....and lots of kisses. :love:

I'm here for you, friend, if you need anything at all. :goodvibes

Fitbabe
10-05-2004, 04:58 PM
I met my husband on match.com in 2002! I did not post a pic but accurately described myself and gots tons of responses (and I weighed about 250 then). Among the emails I got was one from my husband. I met him for our first date one week after he emailed me. 10 months later we were married. He was the first person I met from the internet. I had dated a lot before trying match.com. I think match.com is great because you meet other people serious about finding someone to spend their lives with. I was 24 at the time and most men I had met wanted casual relationships, so I decided to try the internet, and I am SO glad I did.

Samantha2002
10-10-2004, 02:09 AM
Wow, guys, I didn't realize that so many people also met their significant others on the internet too!!

Sarah - I totally agree about how just a few simple changes really make you feel good. For me, I recently bought a shirt that I absolutely LOVE - I actually have to be careful that I don't wear it more than once a week!!! And everytime I wear that shirt I make sure to fix my hair up and make up pretty, and I always feel SO good that day...I wish I had MORE shirts like that!!!