South Beach Diet - Lord Help Me
09-08-2004, 04:29 PM
I just got a call from Bryon's mother (scary music playing in the background). She and her co-workers want me to sing a couple of patriotic songs at a 9-11 Memorial at Three Rivers. This is extremely frightening for me as it combines 2 nightmares. One being my future mother-in-law and the other......dun dun DUN....nursing homes.... :fr:
I haven't sang since high school graduation's national anthem. I agreed, because, well, she's my future inlaw and 9-11 memorial is an honor to be a part of. Hey Laurie, play piano? :^: I haven't practiced, I just sing in the car.
SO PLEASE, pray that my throat bats will fly out and find a new home and that the spiderwebs in there don't choke me. Most of all, pray that the patients or inmates as I call them don't throw canes or teeth at me if I crack!
09-08-2004, 04:51 PM
Sarah, what an honor! You'll do great, I'm sure! Trust me, you don't want me playing piano! ;)
Are you just scared of Bryon's mom in general or has she done something awful? In laws can be tough to get used to, but I firmly believe that making a relationship work with them is really worth it (as long as you have a good therapist! ;) ). It took me years to get things worked out with mine, but now things are great, and I can say it was truly worth it. :D
Lots of prayers that all goes very well for you! And the patients will be thrilled to have the attention, I'm sure. My 93 year old grandmother is in a home, and she always calls and tells me about the performances they see there. She cherishes that time! :D
09-08-2004, 05:29 PM
I'm sure you'll do great and it's such a good deed it doesn't really matter either way! Good luck!!
09-08-2004, 07:59 PM
Oh, Sarah! That IS an honour! I'm certain that the clients at the nursing home will really enjoy your singing. :)
And remember that those "old people" were once young like us, and most of them don't like what they've become. ;)
09-08-2004, 10:33 PM
Ladies, please excuse my humor, it is quite dry. I guess you kind of have to know me and know my voice tones to know how to read my posts...oh well!
It is an honor to sing for them. 2 of my four now past grandparents spent their time in a home at one point. I have just never liked them. I don't want my mother and father there, neither do they, I don't want to go there. I know that it can truly be a happy place as DF has repeatedly explained to me, but I can't get over these feelings. However I will do my best for them and try to make one day a little brighter.
My future MIL is a strange situation Laurie. Bryon comes from an abusive home (his father) and though the man has been gone for years, memories of Bryon's past haunt him continually. His mother denies everything about this. That denial is her comfort and we leave it at that. It is a confusing and complicated situation, especially to me at times as I come from a very loving close-knit home. Anyway, his mom can't decide whether she likes me or not, one minute yes, another no. This was an out of the blue I like you now kind of thing. THAT is what is strange and that's why it will be like walking on egg shells.
09-08-2004, 10:52 PM
Out of curiosity, what songs will you be singing? I was part of a group in college, and we sang at several nursing homes. The old folks absolutely eat that stuff up. :) If all else fails, sit down and play a game of cards with them. We used to hang out with them a bit after the concerts, and it was a ton of fun. The older women always got a kick out of the guys in their snazzy jazz choir getups; I'm sure the older men can't be much different. :D
Sounds like our in-law situations are similar, too. My mom was always very huggy and demonstrative with my sister and me, so it was really hard for me to get used to DH's mom, who runs very warm and cold. Just when I thought I was winning her over, she'd back way off. What I've learned over time is that I had to be the one to stick my neck out and share more of myself before she would really trust me enough to be herself. Sometimes she still backs off a little, but DH and FIL tell me that it's natural for her, so I just try to pick up where we left off when she decides to open up again. I really enjoy her company these days.
I'm betting it's no small compliment that your future MIL asked you to help out with the memorial service, so be encouraged by that!
Sing pretty, Sarah! Let us know how it goes!
09-09-2004, 07:17 AM
I volunteer with Hershey at a nursing home every week and, believe me, whatever you sing will be appreciated! You might consider choosing a song or two that they know and ask them to sing along.
Yes, sing pretty, Sarah, and know that they will love it.
09-09-2004, 09:02 AM
Hey, Sarah, that's an idea! Can you get your dog to "sing" with you? :D If all else fails, the dog would be a good distraction! ;)
Seriously, I know you'll do great. Sorry about Bryon's home situation. He's really lucky to have you and your family, but I'm sure that you can at least, with time, get to a situation where you are not having to walk on eggshells with his mom. It'll just take time.
09-09-2004, 09:46 AM
Thanks ladies. I think I'll be doing the anthem again, and a song from 1776 "Momma, Look Sharp". Battle Hymn is always a classic with the older folk, and I'm looking at a few more. Anyone have any favorites or suggestions? Anthem and "Momma" will be a capella, but I have a pianist for backup if I need something with music.