Weight Loss Support - In tears...




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Oak Moon
09-04-2004, 08:35 PM
I seriously need a kick in the behind.

Even after last week's wake up call, I can't believe that I just can't motivate myself enough to care.

I began having chest pains and cramping off and on. It continued on so my husband said we were heading for the ER. I get there and they ran an EKG immediately, swallowed asprins, and got 8 vials of blood drawn. Then a chest x ray.

The doctor said "You are young but you are still over weight. According to the test results your EKG is normal, all of your blood work is normal. Your urine looks like you are dehydrated. ( No surprise being I still cant kick soda)."
So the doctor chalks it up to being chest wall pain or anxiety. Well of course I was brimming with anxiety. Maybe it was bad heart burn after that garlic chicken pizza I ate. Who knows.
Before I left I asked the nurse to let me weigh myself. So I did. I weighed in at 295 lbs. I never thought I'd get to nearly 300.
Im sitting here in tears. Maybe this comes across as me feeling sorry for myself.
Im so frustrated. I promised myself I wouldnt bring anymore soda back into the house and I did. I drank a 2 liter every day since my last post. I drank very little water. I also binged on sweets. And I do the same thing to myself I always do. I say "Come Monday, NO MORE soda, NO MORE junk food." Then somehow, Monday goes by and Im asking dh to pick me up a 2 liter.
:: banging head on desk :::
Im so tired, of sleeping 8 hours and waking up tired and aching in my joints and hurting in my knees. Im so tired of feeling tired. Dh wanted me to go out to the park today with our baby girl. I couldnt muster up the energy. So he left while ago, and Im home alone to think all of this over.
I want my life back... :" (
I want to feel phsycally good and healthy. I dont care how Im going to look
I just want to be able to get down on the floor with my 10 month old and play with her. I cant get down on the stupid floor, because I cant get up. It hurts too much. This is all wrong. And living this way isnt fair to my children.
And TMI alert..... dont read further if you dont want to because its TMI and embarassing
.
.
.
.
I dont even want my husband to touch me anymore Im so embarassed by the weight gain. I can see where this is going to cause intimacy problems for us.
Im vowing to start again Monday. I wrote in my journal that I would. I wrote out all the reason why I want to... why I need to.
I will be back here... Im surfing through alot of posts trying to get some motivation. This really is a great board.
Thanks for listening..... any words of wisdom and motivation would be so kindly appreciated and welcomed....


e.mccoy
09-04-2004, 08:55 PM
Oak Moon

I wish you all the luck in the world. I myself am overweight and I know how hard it is to lose weight. I struggling to lose weight and I weigh 212. Losing weight is the most difficult thing to do( in my opinion) and it takes planning and a lot of inner strength. There is no need to cry. Take that situation as a wake up call. You could have had an heart attack (thank the lord that you didn't) But take that as a wake up call and begin a journey to a new you. I know you can do it girl!!!!!!



Miss Mccoy
SW208~CW212~GW130

gatsby
09-04-2004, 09:11 PM
when you find yourself in emergency it can be a real wake call. but since it is a stressful experience it can trigger bad habits too.
losing weight and getting healthy is a lot easier than you think in some ways and it's also very hard. it's hard because it takes a perseverance and discipline.
it's easy in the sense that it is simple as in not complicated.
it's easy because you know what you need to do and if you don't you know yoou can find a lot of great advice here.
but it's hard to put your knowledge into practice because of habits and triggers.
so...
my 2 cents?
you need to carefully and thoughtfully consider what kind of person you are. what would work for you: a whole makerover or baby steps. each has it's merits and drawbacks. baby steps like "this week i will drink 1/2 of the soda and twice the water i usually do. instead of buying 2 litres of soda at a time i will buy 1 litre." each week you change something until you build up new habits. don't cut things out, replace them. it's not about depriving yourself of the things you like, it's liking new and different things. or you could go through your cupboards and throw out everything that you know is not good for you. then buy some exercise tapes or join a gym and exercise 5 days a week, no fail. it depends on your personality.
if you have a setback, put it behind you and keep your eye on the prize. no journey is always smooth sailing and no-one, absolutely no-one is perfect. if you read success stories here take motivation and beleive that it can be done but know that no-one has done it perfectly 100% of the time.
think of other areas in your life where you've climbed and conquered that mountain. if you've done it before you can do it here too. nad it feels soooo good!
since you want to get healthy and move more easily through the world set small goals for yourself. if you weigh 295 you'll see how amazing 250 feels, you'll be walking and getting up and down with much more ease. every 20 lbs you lose is like discovering a new universe. you don't have to wait until you reach your ultimate goal to feel better. in fact you probably wont even know what that goal is until you reach it anyway.

a lot of women here have the same motivation as you do, to be healthy for themselves and especially for their kids. seek them out. you will find a lot of love and support here.
good luck to you, i'm rooting for you
gen


renaanderick
09-04-2004, 09:26 PM
Hi, I know how you feel. I have 3 children ages 8, 20 months, and 9 months. I look at my children and I was wanting so bad to play with them just like my husband (when he comes home from work after being away two weeks and home a week) they were so excited when he comes home they be on the floor playing and I just sit there watching. We went to go take pictures and I looked so big I said this is the last straw. I started my diet on 7-11-04 weighing 187. I now weigh 175. I want to get to 130. I still have a while to go, but I am working on it. YOU have to be the one to want to lose weight and only YOU can do it. Start with the soda's. I use to be a soda fanatic. I started buying diet soda. I didn't like it at first, but it grew on me. I had to let go of my little debbie addiction. That was hard. Now there is no little debbies in the house. I buy the kids snacks, but I don't have the desire to eat cheetos, or cookies anymore. I don't drink water like I should, but I force myself to drink it. I try to eat better than I use too. I don't pile my plate like I use too. I don't go back for seconds. I have tried every pill imaginable only to let it be a waste of money. My Dr. prescribed me didrex, but I don't take it everyday. You have to want to lose weight. Look at your beautiful 10 month old and do it for your child. Keep reading the 3ftc forums. It is very motivational. You also have to exercise. I use my gazelle (when I find the motivation, I have to do better) or I exercise on a fitness channel that I have. Hang in there, it won't be easy, nothing worth having is easy to achieve, but when you have the endurance to do it, it pays off. I still have to be strong especially when I take my children out to eat. My friend just today asked me would I go out to eat pizza with them, I declined. I know that I love pizza, but I have to stand my ground. My friend is suppose to be losing weight with me, but she will not stick to her diet and then gets upset when she sees me. I try to encourage her, but she won't listen. I am not going to let her bring me down with her. When you go out to eat, get a salad. I use to hate salads, but now I eat them. Stay encouraged. I know how you felt when you got on the scale and saw how much it said. I have been there. When I married my husband I was small, but after having two kids 11 months apart, my body just got bigger and bigger. I am 5'1 and I was hitting on close to 190. That is not good. I went to the Dr. because I was being bothered with my knees. The Dr. told me that I needed to lose weight. I was like how am I going to lose weight, then I was giving a book with how to eat. I was like you got to be kidding me. Egg whites without the yolk. I didn't follow the book he gave me, but I did portion control. Like when I cook breakfast for the family, I have one pancake, 1/2 slice of bacon and a small portion of eggs. When you eat small constantly you cannot hold much anymore. My sister told me your stomach gets smaller, some people said that your stomach doesn't get smaller. Anyway, I know that I cannot hold much. I have a problem of not wanting to throw food away after my children finish there food, but someone on this forum suggested what I should do, and I took there advice. It will get better for you. Set a goal, keep a journal of what you eat. YOU CAN DO IT!! You carried your child inside of you and you were determined to have that child. It takes 9 months to have a child, but all the time you carried that child and gave birth was well worth it. Treat your diet the same way, be determined to do it because after losing the weight it will be like giving birth to a new you.

lighter
09-04-2004, 09:49 PM
I think you need to make an app't with your doctor and get a good medical check up. Maybe he would suggest medication for depression. Before you go make a list to tell the doctor so he/she gets a full picture of your state of mind.

Maybe you can't play on the floor with your children but you could sit on the couch right now and read to them. Sit at the kitchen table and play a game, color, find some craft projects for them to do. Little things will mean a lot to them. Get out of the house and take a walk with the children. Each day try to walk a little further.

The suggested baby steps is the only way go go. Work on your soda/water, once that is under control tackle the next thing on a list.

Being a full time mother of little ones is a tough job. Even harder when your husband is not home every night. I know I was a Navy wife for 10 years until my husband retired from the service.

Ann

bigbuttgirl
09-05-2004, 01:05 AM
:grouphug: I seriously need a kick in the behind.

Even after last week's wake up call, I can't believe that I just can't motivate myself enough to care.

I began having chest pains and cramping off and on. It continued on so my husband said we were heading for the ER. I get there and they ran an EKG immediately, swallowed asprins, and got 8 vials of blood drawn. Then a chest x ray.

The doctor said "You are young but you are still over weight. According to the test results your EKG is normal, all of your blood work is normal. Your urine looks like you are dehydrated. ( No surprise being I still cant kick soda)."
So the doctor chalks it up to being chest wall pain or anxiety. Well of course I was brimming with anxiety. Maybe it was bad heart burn after that garlic chicken pizza I ate. Who knows.
Before I left I asked the nurse to let me weigh myself. So I did. I weighed in at 295 lbs. I never thought I'd get to nearly 300.
Im sitting here in tears. Maybe this comes across as me feeling sorry for myself.
Im so frustrated. I promised myself I wouldnt bring anymore soda back into the house and I did. I drank a 2 liter every day since my last post. I drank very little water. I also binged on sweets. And I do the same thing to myself I always do. I say "Come Monday, NO MORE soda, NO MORE junk food." Then somehow, Monday goes by and Im asking dh to pick me up a 2 liter.
:: banging head on desk :::
Im so tired, of sleeping 8 hours and waking up tired and aching in my joints and hurting in my knees. Im so tired of feeling tired. Dh wanted me to go out to the park today with our baby girl. I couldnt muster up the energy. So he left while ago, and Im home alone to think all of this over.
I want my life back... :" (
I want to feel phsycally good and healthy. I dont care how Im going to look
I just want to be able to get down on the floor with my 10 month old and play with her. I cant get down on the stupid floor, because I cant get up. It hurts too much. This is all wrong. And living this way isnt fair to my children.
And TMI alert..... dont read further if you dont want to because its TMI and embarassing
.
.
.
.
I dont even want my husband to touch me anymore Im so embarassed by the weight gain. I can see where this is going to cause intimacy problems for us.
Im vowing to start again Monday. I wrote in my journal that I would. I wrote out all the reason why I want to... why I need to.
I will be back here... Im surfing through alot of posts trying to get some motivation. This really is a great board.
Thanks for listening..... any words of wisdom and motivation would be so kindly appreciated and welcomed....

goeatanapple
09-05-2004, 09:07 AM
Sometimes the toughest part of a weight-loss campaign is just getting started :) ... I can certainly agree with that. Once healthy eating and exercise becomes habit, it is MUCH easier to stick with it. Habit-forming is tough, but it is certainly doable. Baby-steps, as mentioned above, is what counts. Some people, can QUIT soda and junk cold turkey. Most of us cannot. So, focus on one habit at a time. Resolve to change one thing at a time, then move onto the next. Same with exercise. I started slow - it was all my body could manage - and you may need to to. Just a 15 minute walk here and there and from there it will grow.

I know what you mean about intimacy issues ... I was sooo embarrassed by the way I looked, but now with dropping just a little bit of the total weight I needed to drop, my confidence has increased ten-fold, I feel much healthier, happier and more energetic - and this flows into my relationship :)

BEST OF LUCK. Stick with it, be TOUGH on yourself - it's going to be hard work, it's going to be FOREVER, but it's going to be WORTH IT!!!!

poohshunny
09-05-2004, 10:34 AM
I haven't been reading and posting regularly on here but have you tried a weight loss support group, such as Weight Watchers? The costs can be well worth it in helping to stay motivated, hearing success stories, and getting guidance on weight loss issues. I always thought I could do it alone, didn't have the money, all kinds of reasons for not joining. But the weekly support groups were what made it possible for me. You will find a great bunch of people who are in the same boat (or have been) as you are. Online support is great but some of us need that real live, in person support also.

Do you drink diet soda? I was a real Coke drinker for many years and Coke was about all I would drink. I switched to Diet Coke, I still drink way too much pop and coffee but at least the calories aren't there. Also, the flavored 0 calorie waters were a lifesaver to me in getting my water in each day and having something other than diet coke. Just some ideas of what has worked for me.

kblahetka
09-06-2004, 02:20 PM
Sometimes you have to hit rock bottom to move up. If you can't find the will power to do this for yourself than think about your daughter and husband. I couldn't bear the thought of my boys growing up with out their father. That horror fueled many walks and workouts. It's hard to get started but boards like these a great place to get going, the rest is up to you. If I can make it anybody can. Hang in there.

SwimGirl
09-07-2004, 12:44 AM
I got some advice today because I just DON'T feel like dieting, I'm tired of counting things, making sure I get enough veggies and quitting pop... but my friend said to me "take it one meal at a time". Which almost seems doable. I don't know if that helps, but in the end, weight loss is tiny little steps, and every meal IS a new start. Another thing that helps me deal with things is not giving it all up, but just to allow it within reason (I'm trying my own low carb version of WW).. I just can't give up soft drinks yet.. Take care of yourself, and at the same time, don't stress over weight loss, because the more stressed I get about it, the more weight I seem to put on.

PamPSM644
09-07-2004, 11:10 AM
I know so well what your going though. You get depressed so you nibble. You get depressed about nibbling so you do it some more. For me food was and is my drug of choise.I gained so much weight its become hard to do even small things. I have muscular distrophy on top of it. Now I'm fighting to regain my life. Thats how I see dieting. I had to get angry, fighting mad!I had to tell those I love around me that this wasn't just my battle but if they really loved me it was theirs too. That means maybe they either eat what your eating or they eat somewhere eles.It doesn't hurt for them to get a taste of what your going though.Depression is a big obstacal. I've had to find ways to keep busy. I watch soaps then go chat about them on boards. Its helped.

Alora1978
09-07-2004, 11:29 AM
I know most of the advice given on these boards is great advice.. however I also know that most things are easier said than done. I agree with what alot have said already about taking "baby steps". It can be frustrating starting out, because I'm sure we have all thought at one time.."I wish there were a magic pill that would resolve my fat issues forever." Unfortunately most of the "magic pills" on the market are not only dangerous but unrealistic. Read the labels.. they all state their effectiveness is based on a healthy diet and exercise. So why take them? We can all get the same effects by changing our eating habits and adding a little exercise a day. I have tried unsuccessfully for years to try to lose weight. At one time, I weighed 127 lbs and considered myself fat!! That's how bad of a self image problem I had. I am now up to about 180 and trying really hard. I don't drink as much water as I should but I have cut out regular soda and replaced it with caffeine-free diet sodas. Water is still the best by far because not only does it prevent dehydration but it flushes fat as well. I hate that this is making you so depressed, I use to cry all the time about my weight until one day I just stopped. It wasn't getting me anywhere. I joined a group called TOPS.. its not Weight Watchers, but its still a good support group for people wanting to lose weight. It's only 20 dollars a year.. cheap!... so you could try to see if there is a local chapter near you. When you find yourself wanting to binge out try thinking about something positive. Think about your children and how much more enjoyable taking them to the park would feel if you lost weight. I have struggles all the time, but one thing is for sure... if you don't buy it, you won't eat it! Some easy substitutes: Splenda instead of sugar, whole-wheat bread, fruit cups, low-fat yogurt, WOW brand chips... even if you just cut out 200-300 calories a day you'll feel alot better. YOU CAN DO ANYTHING YOU PUT YOUR MIND TO!! IF YOU FAIL TO PLAN YOU PLAN TO FAIL!!!!

funniegrrl
09-07-2004, 08:44 PM
Im so frustrated. I promised myself I wouldnt bring anymore soda back into the house and I did. I drank a 2 liter every day since my last post. I drank very little water. I also binged on sweets. And I do the same thing to myself I always do. I say "Come Monday, NO MORE soda, NO MORE junk food." Then somehow, Monday goes by and Im asking dh to pick me up a 2 liter.
:: banging head on desk :::
Im so tired, of sleeping 8 hours and waking up tired and aching in my joints and hurting in my knees. Im so tired of feeling tired. Dh wanted me to go out to the park today with our baby girl. I couldnt muster up the energy. So he left while ago, and Im home alone to think all of this over.
I want my life back... :" (


I'm not married, and don't have kids, so I don't have that issue. But, after a lifetime of being overweight, I got up to well over 300 pounds and felt the same way ... achy all the time, never slept really well. I did not have a soft drink addiction but I was addicted to ... food. Despite the fact that I knew better, and even liked healthy foods, my eating habits were shamefully bad. Why? That's a book. But, the short version is, I felt like you do -- no energy, no desire to do anything except stay home and eat and read and watch TV. I wasn't living, I was existing.

When I thought I might try ONE MORE TIME to lose weight, I spent about 6 months working up to it. I did a lot of reading. One thing I needed was hope and optimism, and the book Thin for Life really gave it to me. It also helped start me down the road of getting my head in the right place. You have the typical dieter's mentality that relies on deadlines (I'll start Monday) and "motivation." Instead, you have to learn to see this as a life-long process that you dedicate yourself to. You can't do it because you "feel motivated" -- you do it because it's what you need to do. There has to come a point where you just realize that this is what you're going to do, no matter how difficult it may be. Yes, you have to give up things you currently like or even depend on. You will be shoved out of your comfort zone every day, every hour at the beginning. As previously said, you have to find things -- sometimes food things, sometimes other things -- to replace the things you have come to see as essentials. You have to relearn how to live your life from the inside out. It's hard, but it's DOABLE and the rewards are great.

I know lots of people here advocate the baby steps method, and that does work for many people. It's worth a try. If that doesn't work, though, you might consider a cold-turkey approach. I'm a compulsive overeater, and that was the right choice for me. I also knew that I could not do this on my own, I HAD to have help. Weight Watchers might be something to consider, but I would also recommend my program, Jenny Craig. You might also look into Overeater's Anonymous. I am not a member, but I have gotten a great deal of help from a book written by one of their members called The Thin Books. If you want to try more on your own, I also think the Dr. Phil book is VERY good, even though I'm not a huge fan of his.

The number one thing that will help you is a positive attitude. You have to tell yourself positive things even if you don't believe them. Every time you drink a glass of water you tell yourself how wonderful it is that you're learning to enjoy clean crisp plain water, and how good it is for your body. When you have that water, or steamed vegetables, or fresh fruit, you realize how jaded your palate had become and that you are learning to enjoy natural food without flavorings, fat, salt, and sugar. When you go for your first 5-minute walk, acknowledge that it's not something you enjoy doing right now, but it is essential for your body to work properly and that pretty soon those inactivity aches and pains will be gone. Every time you meet a challenge, pat yourself on the back and acknowledge that it was a success -- success and optimism breed success and optimism. When you stumble, learn from it, remind yourself what you did RIGHT, and move on.

Continuing to wallow in self-pity and waiting for "motivation" to strike won't get you anywhere. Decide that you're going to do this. Spend some time in non-judgemental reflection and self-observation if you have to. Look into counseling, or visiting a dietitian who specializes in obesity. Attend an OA meeting. Read some of the books I mentioned, and let me know if you want additional titles. Pick up a copy of SHAPE magazine. Call Jenny Craig and go in for a consultation. Go to www.collagevideo.com and look at Leslie Sansone's in-home walking videos. Keep working on this in a POSITIVE, problem-solving way. Ditch the defeatist attitude.

P.S. Talk to your husband. You don't want to turn him into the food police, but what the **** is he doing bringing soft drinks home when you ask for them if you had decided to cut them out? That's called ENABLING -- it's the same as a person who brings heroin home to his drug addict spouse.

LakeGirl
09-10-2004, 11:05 PM
I so hear your pain and understand it! My opinion is that no one who has never had a weight problem can possibly understand just how difficult it is. It's frustrating when there are people out there who can drink 2-liter bottles of soda several times a week and never gain an ounce, yet I feel that just looking at the bottle makes me gain 5 pounds!

We essentially have two options. We either accept ourselves exactly as we are, or we do something about the weight to get it off. I agree with whoever said that if you feel depressed to get to your doctor and discuss it. I have recently done this. After adopting two boys a year ago, the lifestyle changes turned me completely inside out. Everything overwhelmed me-even laundry, so you can imagine that weight loss seemed completely out of the question! My doctor prescribed Zoloft and while at first I felt embarrassed by needed drugs to control my moods, now I can see what a life saver this has been for me. I am once again on top of things, I am enjoying my kids and I am exercising several times a week. The desire to do all these things was always there, but it was the feelings of being so overwhelmed that stopped me.

You have been given alot of good advice in this thread from people who know exactly how you are feeling. One thing I have learned from battling weight my whole life, is that you have to move. It makes the weight loss so much easier and will make you feel better, faster! You may have to start out agonizingly slow...but if a walk around the block is more than you are currently doing, that is an accomplishment! As time goes by you will find you can do more and more.

I was on a weekend getaway with my hubby and as we were driving I saw a sign for riding stables. Horseback riding is something I have always wanted to do, but I am simply too heavy to do it. The thought hit me then how it would feel to be at the end of my life, and thinking about things I would have liked to do that WEIGHT kept me from doing! I don't want that.

Take things slowly, but take action. You have a huge support system right here and we all root for each other :)

Meadow
09-11-2004, 01:38 AM
It is your head that has to wrap itself around this goal of losing weight. Give yourself a booster by saying I will do it, not I'll try but "I will" Food choices and exercise, you have the power. I say I am failing continually towards success, that is how people learn. Keep at it. That is how you learned to ride a bike, tie your shoelaces, etc. you had persistence because these were important skills you wanted to learn. Being healthy and finding the balance to keep ourselves there is doable, lets make it happen!

rochemist
09-11-2004, 02:18 AM
Lots of good advice here. to what funnie girl has said let me add www.oa.org . This process is a journey, we can take the next step forward right now, or we can keep on waiting for some day. One day at a time.

Chris