South Beach Diet - I'm Freaking Out




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jenne1017
08-31-2004, 06:33 PM
Hi ladies --

I need help. I hate asking for it, but I need it. I am freaking out because the next two months are going to be rough. Although I only spent about $100 on this entire vacation (save air), it was too much and now I am in debt.

I have no money on my cards (maxed out) and well, I am left with $30 (if that) at the end of this Friday's paycheck. Plus, I am going to be late on some bills since I won't get my next check until Sept. 17th.

I have to cancel my gym membership. I can't afford it anymore. And I cry as I type it. It's $65 a month which is great. I go at least 2x a week, on average and it helps me. It does -- even mentall. But I can't afford putting that on the charge card (which is maxed).

I won't be OP all month. I can't even go food shopping. I have what's in my fridge as of now (I can't even charge food, which is what I usually do) and then it's pasta and Ramen's that the old roomie left me, until I can figure out what to do financially. I may ask for a differment on my 2 student loans for a few months until I catch up.

I am going to put up things on eBay. But the past 6 months I have shopped for new clothes and spent too much food shopping. I am started to hate that I lost weight and that I've had such a cavelier attitude towards just putting things on my charge.

And now I am in over my head and sinking fast. I am going to get fat again, I just know it.

This really bites.

Thanks for letting me vent...

Jenn


KristinJ
08-31-2004, 06:55 PM
Jenn,

I don't really know what to tell you :( I've been there, please keep your chin up the best that you can. It will get better but not over night. Post as often as you need to. You will not get fat again, this is a temporary problem!

Kristin

jenne1017
08-31-2004, 07:04 PM
LOl a temporary problem that, until I can work this out is going to cause me to eat bad as well as eat while stressed. UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thanks for the support. I've just made some dumb monetary choices and need to get better is all.


AdiaFaith
08-31-2004, 07:07 PM
Jenn,

Hold on, hold tight. You'll be ok. Shopping for SB doesn't have to be expensive, but I can understand getting behind.

If you're going to sell some things on eBay and need help determining what to sell and how best to sell it, I offer my services. I sell full time under the name grizzlymtc. I can give you advice on when to list, what to list, how, and so on. PM me with what you're going to sell.

Sorry chica, try to keep your portions down. That's the only advice I can offer.

chick_on_the_beach
08-31-2004, 07:20 PM
Hey Jenn, it's so easy to overspend. I have been there a number of times and it sorts itself out but not until you take control of your finances. Keep your chin up and please don't undo the hard work you have done. You can go for a long walk every day for free so if you have to sacrifice your gym membership for a little while you can still exercise.

For now you need to sort out your finances. Phone the companies that you will be late paying and explain that you will be a little late this month. They are more accepting if they know you will be late. Pay the bills first that incur penalties for late payment. You may be able to defer your student loan(s) repayment for a little while. Phone them and find out. As for the $30 you have to last you the week, spend it as best you can. I find vegies and cheap protein are the best value for money. I can make a huge pot of vegie soup for about $3 and it does me a week. Nuts are cheap and I often throw a handful in a stir fry. Dried beans are really cheap and although they take time to prepare as you need to soak them overnight then boil them for a long time you could cook in bulk. Rolled oats and brown rice are relatively cheap because they fill you up for a long time. You may have to eat phase three and make up for it by walking and drinking lots of water for a little while.

As for clothes, I have bought minimal clothes this winter because I don't fit my old clothes but don't intend to still be this size by next winter. I have bought 2 jeans, 1 black dressy pants, 1 jersey, 1 casual jacket, and 2 good tops and worn them to death this winter. Apart from this I only have one good jacket and another pair of black pants that still fit so I am literally wearing the same thing to work all the time. Nobody has said anything about my lack of clothing but they do notice that I have lost weight. This has allowed me to continue to eat on plan and pay for gym membership. I probably wouldn't be able to afford to do all three!

I hope things sort out for you soon.

miss michelle
08-31-2004, 07:26 PM
Jenn,
Have you looked into your local YMCA? Ours has a gym, and I'm not sure what the membership fee is, but it may be way more affordable!

Bunnababy
08-31-2004, 07:30 PM
I'm sorry you are having such a rough time right now. Just don't let it get you all the way down. :( Like chick said there are foods that are on plan that are really cheap too, I suspect that the stress is causing you to want to overeat on all the bad foods that got you heavy in the first place. Please come here and vent at us rather than eating. We will help you any way we can. ;)

ellis
08-31-2004, 08:47 PM
Oh, Jenn... hugs, sweetie. :grouphug: I so know what you're going through. :(
You're not going to get fat again. Like the other girls said, we're here for you. Hang in there, and keep posting.

justjodi
08-31-2004, 09:06 PM
well first of all jenn welcome back!!! sorry you have to end your vacation with so much stress but i hope you enjoyed your time away. you will not let yourself get fat. money probs just suck, eat as healthy as you can afford to, like someone said make a pot of soup or chili it will last for several meals. take care of yourself, i know your gym membership (love hate relationship that it is) means alot to you, but do your best to find other forms of exercise until you can get back on your feet. good luck and keep checking in here, we are here for you!!

Heidi
08-31-2004, 09:11 PM
Hi Jenn,
It's awful when you feel like you have no options. Is there are friend who can help you out for the short term? Not that you want a lot of personal debt on top of card debt, but at least a few dollars to keep some OP foods within reach.

The gym membership is tough, but there are so many ways to exercise apart from the gym that you can probably manage that sacrifice until you can get your head above water and rejoin the gym. Use exercise as your stress outlet?

It seems that food is your main day to day issue right now.

I used to have a circuit of veggie stores and small grocers where I would go for reduced vegetables. Beans are an inexpensive protein. If you know someone with a garden, they'll be swimming in zucchini and tomatoes at this time of year. Hope some of that is useful.

Hang on. You've done so well it would be really sad if you couldn't continue.

I've been there and I feel for you. :stress:

jenne1017
08-31-2004, 09:26 PM
Thank you all...I am feeling a bit better. I am not going to be late on any bills...I just have to live without for the month of September. It's too late to cancel the gym for Sept., so I am going to use the heck out of it! I want to go 15-20 times this month alone.

Plus, in October, there's an extra paycheck, and it's my b-day.

September is going to be very rough though.

Adia -- thanks sweetie. I am PM'ing you now...

Chick-on-the-beach -- I have $0 right now and $30 after Friday's paycheck to last me 2 weeks! I am going to eat the "full-o-carbs" stuff within reason (like tonight I am eating 1/2 the ramen noodles instead of all with the broth, some frozen veggies and some flax seed for dinner and some peanut butter for "dessert"). After I pay my bills and everything comes out (a week from Friday) I will evaluate and see what I can spend and shop from there. I do have a lot of frozen veggies and a package of chicken I can totally stretch into 3 meals. Plus, I am going to mooch off friends, like the one who has a washer and dryer! But as far as winter clothes, I was wearing a 20 last winter and now a 16 is a bit big on me. So I know not what I am going to do with that.

MissMichelle -- my gym IS the local YMCA. And it's EXPENSIVE! But thanks for the suggestion!

Bunna -- thanks. I just have issues with asking for help :)

Ellis -- I should be giving YOU hugs. My "problems" seem so trival to some of yours...but scary nonetheless.

justjodi -- I am taking public transportation as opposed to driving in now, so that will make for about a 1.5 mile walk everyday, and then some. :)

heidi -- beans are a good idea. Unfortunately, fresh veggies don't grow in an apartment! :( And that's where we all live. I will mooch free laundry and maybe a meal here or there, but I can't do that everytime, you know?

For now I re-evaluated my finances (breaking up witht he ex and paying x2 rent is my issue now) and since there is an extra check in october, I should be ok. My issue is just September as far as laundry (coin operated) and food go. I have to keep the gym another month, and called the Y and they said they could put my membership on hold for a month or two for free. I also talked to a friend who calmed me a bit. I have a work formal to go to and asked someone already -- but my ebay auctions should help with that.

Thank you all for your patience. I know many of you are going through crapola of your own so it means a lot to me...

jenn

smilintwins
08-31-2004, 10:39 PM
Jenn, I am late chiming in but wanted to add my calming support. It is the worst when you feel helpless and it is really easy to slip into a spiral. It sounds from your last post that things are feeling a little more under control.

If the eBay auctions don't work, start looking for a local consignment shop. I know several in my area have started paying up front instead of making you wait until your stuff sells. I was thinking about taking my BIG clothes to one of these instead of dealing with eBay. And while I have never been one to shop consignment, it might help you get a few good work pieces for the winter.

September will be a challenge. But you are a strong gal and can make this work!!

likemarigold
09-01-2004, 12:04 AM
Jenn, honey, I am so sorry that you're in such a difficult time right now. I was unemployed all year last year, and I know just how it is to sit down and try to prioritize your expenses. Each time I made that rent vs. food choice (or electricity vs. phone, or subway card vs. laundry), I felt trapped, and furious. But it does end.

And in the meantime, the one thing you can control is your food intake. I know SB is more about balancing carbs and proteins, but if you have to eat ramen noodles and canned beans for four weeks, do yourself a favor and try counting calories. It'll give you more flexibility in the foods that you eat, and if you're eating 1400 or 1500 calories a day, you won't be gaining weight.

Sometimes it feels like anything--a rain storm, a missed bus, an argument--could make our weight loss disappear in a cloud of smoke, but it wasn't magic that got you to this point, it was strength. And you haven't lost that.

Heidi
09-01-2004, 08:51 AM
Sometimes it feels like anything--a rain storm, a missed bus, an argument--could make our weight loss disappear in a cloud of smoke, but it wasn't magic that got you to this point, it was strength. And you haven't lost that.

WOW, likemarigold, what a great articulation of my own greatest fear and why it should be erased. Thank you. I'll be pinning that to my bulletin board.

Barb0522
09-01-2004, 10:22 AM
Jenn - I don't have much that I can add to the wonderful advice everyone has given but please keep coming back and venting here. We can give good virtual hugs at least! :grouphug: I wish I could help you with the clothes but it looks like we started at the same size and are currently the same size.

wendyjo
09-01-2004, 10:42 AM
You can make a big pot of chile for about $10 with meat, and $5 if it's vegetarian. That would last you a few days, and you could take it to work too.

What size are you now? I can check anf see if I have anything that might fit you, although I gave most of my stuff to my sister already. But I might have a few things. You need mostly work clothes, right?

jenne1017
09-01-2004, 10:44 AM
Thanks Jen, like marigold and Barb -- I know it will end and I know my troubles are nothing in comparison to some right now. It's just rather overwhelming, that's all.

Feeling better today. Sat down last night and Sept is going to very rough, but there are 3 checks in October (not to mention my b-day, I'll ask that in lieu of presents, everyone make a check out to an instiitution of choice that I owe money to!) and that should get me back on track.

Thanks again all!

Jenn

beachgal
09-01-2004, 11:00 AM
Jenn!

I'm glad you are back and so sorry you are going through this! :grouphug: I think you are doing a great thing by figuring this all out now and planning to live small until it's taken care of. Getting your finances in order can be really tough!

I listen to a great radio program called 'Money Matters' put on by Crown Financial Ministries (www.crown.org). They say that many financial counselors (whom you can see for free) will speak with your credit card people and get your amounts down...either by combining payments, reducing interest rate, taking away fees, etc. They can really help you get things together.

I've been very impressed with my student loan company...over the years I've had lean times like yours and they were always willing to defer the payments for a while. As long as you are up front with them, they will help you out. They are most interested in your not going into default, and they'll do whatever they have to in order to ensure that doesn't happen. They also offer a plan that has smaller payments for three years (I think), then larger payments from then on, assuming that at first, your job doesn't pay as well as your future jobs will. That plan might be worth your while, now that you are paying for your apartment on your own. Can you get a new roommate? If not, can you move to a smaller/cheaper place? I'm sure you've already considered it...just throwing it out there as an option.

Know that I'll keep you in my prayers and though we all have problems that are of varying importance to other people, how important they are to us is what matters. Don't let the perceived importance of others' problems belittle what is paining you, okay? :grouphug:

I love all the great suggestions others had. I'm going to start another thread on making ends meet and keeping ourselves clothed...I'm in your predicament and should not be spending money on more clothes right now! I'm in a 24/22, but seem to have no clothes in those sizes. I must have gone from a 20 to a 24, then quickly up to a 26. <sigh>

Jenn, please feel free to vent here and know that we are in support of you. I love what Like Marigold said (inspired!)...and she's right. You are not going to get fat because you are the same strong Jen who has made it this far! :D

sarahyu
09-01-2004, 11:23 AM
I went through a similiar crisis many years ago right after college. I went to Consumer Credit Counseling. It was a non-profit group, it wasn't free, but it's not too bad for the help you can get. They will negotiate with your credit card people and they stop charging interest while you are paying down your balance. You pay CCCS one check a month, they distribute the money among all your creditors.

It made life so much easier, I was able to get my credit card debt down and pay rent and eat too. What an amazing concept! Well, at that time of my life it was amazing. I was living pay check to the day before paycheck, using my credit cards to fill in the gap of no money and then only paying the minimum due or less. College kids should not be allowed to get all that credit. I got every credit card offered to me, especially if I got a freeby. And I used them knowing full well that I didn't have the money to pay for what I was buying.

Make sure which ever one you go to doesn't charge you an arm and a leg. Now it seems that most of them are specifically "for profit" and it comes out of your money.

Good luck and hey ramon noodles aren't that bad for you, just add a lot of veggies to them. You got to do what you got to do for a little bit. Until things get straightened out.

jenne1017
09-01-2004, 12:33 PM
Sarah -- thanks for the advice. I am going to see what the deal is with them. I never pay just minimum though -- almost always $100 more than that. Maybe I just go to paying minimum for a month or two? I can't this month because I overcharged on one and got fined. Oh bother!

Thanks for the advice and Wendy and Laurie I pm'd you :)

RNMOM
09-01-2004, 12:34 PM
I'm with you and fighting for you. Sorry things are rough right now. Don't fall into a trap of destructive behavior, you do know better and have felt better! (I'm giving myself the same pep talk) HUGS!

a broad abroad
09-01-2004, 01:49 PM
Jen, when I lived in DC 10 years ago there was some type of program where employers would give participating staff money for metro tokens or actual tokens (can't remember exactly) and they got some kind of tax write off for doing so. I worked in the association world and at the time there were many groups doing that. Maybe you could check around to see if that program still exists. By the way I lost weight walking to the subway!!

VTprop
09-01-2004, 03:04 PM
Jenn-
Let me know if you want me to cook a few meals since we are in the same neighborhood. I know what you are going through...I'm in the 6 digit debt thanks to law school. Plus I've put on 5 pouds- grrr.
((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((hug))))))))))) )))))))))))))))))))))))))))

~VT

kvixen
09-01-2004, 05:02 PM
Not to change the subject from Jenne's crisis- btw: you can do it! :cheer: - but VTprop, you went to law school? I am currently applying and am a nervous wreck! :( Any advice? Feel free to PM me! I would love imput from someone who has been there!

jenne1017
09-01-2004, 06:01 PM
Jen, when I lived in DC 10 years ago there was some type of program where employers would give participating staff money for metro tokens or actual tokens (can't remember exactly) and they got some kind of tax write off for doing so. I worked in the association world and at the time there were many groups doing that. Maybe you could check around to see if that program still exists. By the way I lost weight walking to the subway!!

My org pays my health insurance in full -- and I do pre-tax checks starting in September! :)

beachgal
09-01-2004, 06:17 PM
VT, not to but in, but that sounds like a great idea! Meeting others from 3FC in the same area is fun, (it was great meeting Sarah this week!) and maybe knowing another SBDer is coming over for dinner will keep you OP? So that way you'd be helping each other out! :D

You never know... ;)

BTW, did your area get hit as hard as Richmond, VT? I am totally out of it on my VA geography...

weezle
09-01-2004, 07:40 PM
Have you looked into your local YMCA? Ours has a gym, and I'm not sure what the membership fee is, but it may be way more affordable!

Jenn,

I'm a member at the YMCA in Springfield, and I don't know if their rates are universal, but I only pay $21/month. That's access to the gymnasium, Nautilus equipment, swimming pool, track, free weights, raquetball courts, etc, plus they have all kinds of classes you can take....areobics, step class, yoga, pilates, kickboxing, you name it! I think $65/month is OUTRAGEOUS.

You also can get on the recreational volleyball leage (tonight is game two, wish us luck!) for only $10 per season, if you're a member. I know it's still not plausible right now, but check into it when you've got your finances back on track.

Barb0522
09-02-2004, 09:47 AM
Weezle- I can definitely tell you there rates are not universal. My company had a wonderful on campus health club. It originally was free but then they started charging $10 a month. Still no problem. Then they decided to sell it to the Y and open it to the public. It is now $43 a month for an individual membership! I go to Bally because it is cheaper than the Y so I guess every area is different. :(

wendyjo
09-02-2004, 10:47 AM
BeachGal, the DC area and Northern Virginia got about 30 minutes of a light sprinkling from Gaston. Not even enough rain to make the sidewalk under my big holly tree wet. We've been pretty dry for a while now and could use a bit of rain.