South Beach Diet - Need Your opinions on something

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08-24-2004, 08:55 AM
Hubby and I have a rather tight budget for food. (We're still trying to get back up on our feet after lengthy unemployment periods for both of us.)

When we get groceries and I start putting OP foods in the cart for myself, he starts making noises about how I should think of him and BIL and not spend so much of the budget on stuff that only I will eat.

For example: They like full fat mayo, but I can't have that and we can't afford to buy two separate jars plus take up that much space in the fridge. So, I'm not being fair to them by getting the lowfat stuff.

What to do??? Any opinions out there?


08-24-2004, 09:07 AM
Well, you know me. I always have an opinion.
First of all....why are you buying low fat mayo? Regular is fine on South Beach.
There is really no need to buy anything "special" on South Beach. What kinds of stuff do you buy that only you will eat? Are you all eating South Beach with carb extras for the guys?
Let us know. You can get around this.

08-24-2004, 09:40 AM
First if BIL is staying with you and eating your food, he should be chipping in money for the food. He eats what you eat. Gee, that's my little inner uber b*tch popping out... I don't let her out very often she gets offensive sometimes.

Hubby and bil can eat what you eat, just make up more starches for them. Tell them to get used to the new healthy lifestyle. Just don't tell them it's south beach recipes. Most people can't tell that what I'm eating is diet food, except for the big salad I eat for lunch most days.

But, in the interest of a happy marriage and home life. Maybe until the budget gets better, you may need to make a few adjustments just to keep the peace. Not very fair, but what can you do?

What do they eat regularly? Many recipes can be adapted to sb easily, unless they are into pork rinds, chips,dips and beer.

At first my dh was like this,"I don't have to lose weight, why are you making me eat diet food?" until I started cooking dishes that he didn't expect to be sb friendly. Now he's not so bad. Unless I throw fat free cheese on a salad. He doesn't like that at all.

Full fat mayo is what we are supposed to be using. So you can make the grand compromise with that, and make sure he knows that you are making this concession :devil: for him because you love him. ;)

08-24-2004, 09:48 AM
Mama, I guess I'm being witchy to say this, but I think that they are awful for trying to sabotage something you are doing for your health. I would let them know that you are going to eat healthy and if they don't want to join you, they will have to spend their own money on foods that aren't healthy. I wouldn't be rude and buy foods that you know they hate (like fish if they never eat it), but buy things that are within their range of foods and are healthy. If they usually eat chips, get triscuits. If they usually eat candy, get SF fudgsicles.

I think they ought to be eating the way you are, or at least in a more healthy manner. If eating the way they like is costly for them personally, they may consider eating more healthy. :shrug: Just my $0.02.

And Ruth is right about the mayo. You can have the full fat stuff.

08-24-2004, 10:41 AM
Hi, Mamacita! I'm new to this forum, and to the South Beach Diet (just started Phase 1 yesterday, though I started using the recommendations for meals about a week and a half ago).

When I first bought the book, my boyfriend looked at me like I had grown horns on my head and flatly refused to have anything to do with it. Then I showed him the COOKBOOK, and asked him what he liked in it.

Once he saw how delicious all of this "diet" food looked, he actually got excited about the whole idea, and now he's even joined me on my diet. He's not giving up his Coke, but it makes him happy so I don't give him a hard time about it.

I also pointed out its heart-healthy aspects (both of our families have a history of heart disease), and let him know that one of my primary goals on this diet is to be healthier and stay that way. I told him that I wanted to keep him around for a good long while, too, and I think that also helped to turn him around in his thinking. Guilt can go a long way when logic fails. ;)

08-24-2004, 11:08 AM
Yeah, I'm in agreement with most on here. I'm thinkin you can either do what Terry and I do (to keep the peace) or you can force him to deal with it. And BIL has no say, what-so-ever.

Terry and I each get our groceries, put them in the same cart, and then pay for them separately. It's the only way to do it, since otherwise he'll start whining about what's being purchased. At first on SB, I was paying WAY more than I usually did, but once I hit Ph2, I'm el-cheapo! I paid $60 for 2 weeks worth of groceries on Sunday, down from $130.

But yeah, Terry and I have 2 different containers of butter, even. Obviously different peanutbutter. Different bread and tortillas. Maybe that will help? We occasionally get a funny look from the cashier, but we just explain that it's easier to keep track of that way. (They do find it funny to see healthy food on one side, and pizzas and ice cream and other crap like that on the other side.)

Now, if BIL wants to complain too, he can pay for his own groceries, as well. He should be, anyway. So if he's not, you tell him he can eat what's put in front of him or he can starve to death, and it's fine by you. You have a hard enough time without some moocher on your hands. "Beggars can't be choosers" and such.

Hope some of that helps.

08-24-2004, 11:31 AM
Just my 2 but I don't think there are special things that you need to buy for SB -- aside from the lower fat cheeses maybe. But afterall - are they eating chips and things that you can't have? If so, tell them not to -- it's the same as asking them not to buy things they don't like, right?

Buy a sack of potatoes for them and call it a day. That's my b!tchy opinion...

sweet tooth
08-24-2004, 12:45 PM
I agree with many of the opinions here. I am the only one in the house that is officially on SBD. The 'men' are on a quasi version of SBD. I make meat recipes that are SBD friendly for everyone, a salad, vegetable, and add a starch that I usually don't serve myself. That way, it doesn't appear that I am on a different eating program than the others at all and I am purchasing the same foods for all. The difference in the budget money for us, though, is that I eat a lot of ricotta cheese (which I had not had before SBD) and more cottage cheese and yogurt than I have purchased in the past. Other than those 3 things, I shop the same way as before (hubby adds his cookies, desserts and snacks to the shopping basket), other than buying whole grain products rather than processed foods. I also feel that I can change my 'snack' money from cookies, etc. to the ricotta/cottage cheese and yogurt.

Just as I was typing this I thought of a possible solution for you. How about setting out a budget of 'special' foods. Purchase the common foods that you eat, then allot a certain portion of your grocery money for each of your special foods. You have X dollars for your SBD treats that hubby doesn't eat and hubby has his allottment for cookies, dessert items, etc. Might give him the sense that he is not being deprived.

The only one that I have difficulty with is our DS's girlfriend. She is a very picky eater anyway and wrinkles her nose up at everything - usually whether it is SBD, or not. Soooooo, I just make what we are eating and if she doesn't like it, she buys and makes her own. The only problem there is that she makes sure she tells me I am a lousy cook because she doesn't like certain foods.

Good luck, you can manage.

08-24-2004, 02:02 PM
Oh, Sweet Tooth, you have my sympathies. So is Ds's gf a permenant addition to the family or temparary? Don't let her talk to you like that-saying you are a bad cook. It will just escalate into more offensive behaviors/comments in the future.

Set her in her place as soon as you can, in a nice way of course. Or she'll be like this when/if they get married. It's your house, you should expect a respectful attitude in your home.

Sorry, visions of my mother being harrassed by my ex-sil are coming to my mind as I read your post. My mom was miserable during the time the evil creature was part of the family. She always had bad things to say to everyone, except me. I never let her get by with it.

sweet tooth
08-24-2004, 02:47 PM
Sarah, she is NOT a permanent fixture in the house, but is here for a while yet. She makes comments - DH is ready to say something - but we hold our tongues for the sake of our DS.

She invited her parents to visit for Christmas and, after having her mother in the house for a week, I understand where the behaviours come from. :) Her mother actually brought her own cooking utensils to make special breakfasts. I was stunned to say the least.

Anyway, her family is Icelandic/Italian, ours is British/Irish/Scottish, so culturally, we are different and enjoy different foods. She is quite immature when it comes to accepting people as they are and does not acknowledge differences - in traditions, food, behaviours, likes, dislikes, etc. DH and I have travelled and lived in many different cultures, (including Asian, European, Middle Eastern and many other third world cultures), so we recognize differences in cultures more readily than she. We are also accustomed to keeping our mouths shut when it comes to those kinds of differences because it is offensive to the other culture to tell them that they are wrong -when they really aren't, there just different.

Of course, she does make the rude comments, mostly about food because she is so picky, and we have just been brushing it off. When her parents were here, they seemed to accept that she has always been very picky, and have made a joke of it, rather than have her eat the foods that are put before her. I have also raised all my own children, I am not about to start to raise her when her parents have tolerated the behaviour. Soooo, we don't say anything to keep the peace. Our DS is also working out of town right now, so, if we do say anything, she does not have any ally and will feel rejected from the family. I won't drive our son away from us because of doesn't seem important enough.

However, our solution has been to buy the foods that we like (she doesn't like tomatoes - either raw or in anything, onions, any vegetable except corn, beans, reduced fat cheese, basically anything SBD; nor does she like it cooked the way that we like it). We also cook it the way we like and put it on the table. She spends hours picking things apart and leaves a pile on her plate (and we have dogs that love the treats). If she doesn't like what we buy - e.g. reduced fat cheese - she buys her own and marks it personal in the fridge. I just pretend that I don't notice that she doesn't like our stuff.

That has worked fine up to now without a confrontation...the funny part is that she talks about how healthy she eats, but the proof is in the pudding. She is still overweight and I have lost 27 pounds since I started SBD.

08-24-2004, 03:15 PM
What items do they want that you are taking away by buying real food? :shrug: I would just tell my dh to shut up and deal with it. Now you know why we didn't get along for a long time. :lol: That was the b*tch coming out in me. :queen:

One solution though would be to divide the grocery money between the three of you (if bil contributes) and buy what you each want to eat. That might keep the peace a little bit. Go ahead and buy the common things like condiments and spices, meats, vegis, and then divide the rest. :^:

08-24-2004, 04:05 PM
The only one that I have difficulty with is our DS's girlfriend. She is a very picky eater anyway and wrinkles her nose up at everything - usually whether it is SBD, or not. Soooooo, I just make what we are eating and if she doesn't like it, she buys and makes her own. The only problem there is that she makes sure she tells me I am a lousy cook because she doesn't like certain foods.

Peggy! Smack that girl around and tell her if she doesn't like it, then she can cook for an entire household making sure everyone gets exactly what they like/need exactly the way they like it......UGGG.. :mad: ..I'd have her head on a plate! :devil:

Sorry....just had to vent a bit....

08-24-2004, 04:28 PM
We are on a tight budget too but I make a SB friendly meal and add a starch for the rest of the family. If you buy something on plan that the rest of the household doesn't eat (like nuts or yogurt) it will last longer because there is only one person using it so it is still quite economical. The others will have their 'treats' too. They will be the sugary and starchy foods that you have given up. Perhaps you need to point this out. I buy a weight watchers jelly (jello) for less than $1 (New Zealand) and make it last me two nights so the additional expense is very small and probably works out at the cost of the potatoes the others had for dinner.

08-24-2004, 10:36 PM
Evening, All~~

Thank you all so much for all the suggestions!

BIL DOES contribute $100 per week, which is basically what we spend on groceries. Tho lately, we've been trying to cut back a bit b/c my aunt is coming in the fall/winter for an extended visit and we'd like to have some $$ in the entertainment fund.

Glad to hear I can have regular mayo...don't even ask me why I thought otherwise...probably b/c of the lowfat cheese and milk thing. :shrug:

I like the suggestion of setting aside some of the grocery money for each of us to have our own stash of personal foods. That would definitely help. I'll cogitate on this for a few days (grocery day is Friday) and I'll let you all know how it works out. :)


08-25-2004, 01:42 PM
Ok, it sounds like you have this under control. However, I use the low fat mayo, and I can't tell the difference between regular fat and non fat. How abt leaving DH at home while you go grocery shopping? Besides, he should be so grateful that he has the chance to eat a single meal with you that he should be happy to eat whatever you serve, because I am sure that it is delish.

As for sweettooth, I am a DS's GF and even if I was served the most revolting thing on the face of the earth, I would either eat it or go hungry. Even more so if I was staying at their home. Frankly, it's an issue to take up with DS. It has nothing to do with eating/food/cooking, and everything to do with respect. Although you are done raising your kids, if she ever becomes a DIL, then you will have the DIL from **** to deal with for years to come. And her parents should shell out for a hotel if they are going to treat you as if your utensils aren't good enough. Some people blow me away...

Sorry about the rant, but I hate it when girlfriends give the rest of us a bad name. I will even so far as to take the mother's side over the boyfriend's just to show goodwill.
The boy will eventually forgive me, the mom will always love me. ;-)

sweet tooth
08-25-2004, 02:09 PM
Not all is bad on the girlfriend front. We have 2 DSs, both with girlfriends. The other GF is a gem...AND she is younger than the obnoxious one. We see both sides. We would take the issue up with our DS, but, alas he has been posted out of town for the summer. He will be back towards the beginning of September and there are some issues on the books for discussion. :lol:

However, the GF is away for a couple of weeks now...and it is blessed peace on the home front. I can even have my bacon pre-burnt now. ;)

08-25-2004, 02:24 PM
She messes with your bacon? Off with her head! :D

08-25-2004, 02:44 PM
Damn right! Nobody messes with my bacon!

sweet tooth
08-25-2004, 04:24 PM
Unfortunately, she has this thing that bacon isn't cooked until it is black and really, really crispy. She also thinks that eggs aren't cooked until they are hard. Unfortunately, I like my bacon and eggs done differently...

08-26-2004, 08:45 AM
Ok, this girlfriend thing has me just steaming. Sweet Tooth, you are just TOO NICE. If and when this witch-on-wheels returns to your home, and she complains, even once about something foodwise, I'd hand her a spatula and tell her "knock yourself out, Missy. Then clean up the kitchen when you're done." Then give her the "I'm-the-mom-and-I-mean-business" look.

I've BTDT with boyfriends and learned my lesson did my daughters. I can safely say that this chick is a control freak, and she's figured out that you can be manipulated. She won't stop, trust me on this...she'll keep going until SHE rules the roost and all the inhabitants therein unless you stop her in her tracks.