Hello everyone!! I think I've found a program that will work for my obsessive eating behaviour! I have been doing south beach but found myself still counting calories and fat and actually aiming for under 1000 a day but I've combined sbd and Weight watchers points and I've found that lately I haven't been so obsessed with counting the calories, I'm glad and hoping that perhaps counting points will keep me from realizing how many calories I've eaten. I've also stopped being so obsessed with exercising several times a day I found I was burning up to 800 calories a day but only eating like 700 which I know isnt good but I'm working on it . I posted in the "our stories" thread so if you would like to know a little (or alot) about me please read I hope you all are having a wonderful evening
Michelle
Sorry ya'll. I have been a bit distracted. We had this crane fall over at work and well it was a bit of an eyesore
Sharing my ESH today. I apparently haven't been getting it. I missed that part about not judging myself for having an ED. Accepting it for what it is and realizing the disease is not me. I am not my disease. Wow!
I listenend to one of the OA Conference Sessions on self discipline and love. Self discipline is love, love is God. Think about it!
Michelle- I can't count a darn thing. Drives me crazy. I eat 3 meals a day with 3 optional snacks. I weigh and measure. I gently work out, and never make it a must do. And I really, really try to avoid sugar because it screws me up. Sick of the obsession, this is no longer a diet, I have tools for survival and the steps are my answer
I've missed you girls. Sorry I haven't been around, but life is so busy now that we're dealing with my Dad's terminal cancer, Mom and Dad selling the house, etc.
I did want to tell you that I finally "gave in", and joined OA! And I love it!!! I joined last week, and went to my second meeting this past Monday. I can't get over what a humbling experience it is for me. The women there are wonderful.
I would never have known about OA if it weren't for you women... thank you so much!
Ellis...LOVE your new quote! I think it applies particulary well to our American president.
(I hope the Secret Service doesn't come knocking on my door for knocking the President!)
Thanks for the welcome kat!! I am sorry for your recent loss if you need to talk I'm here for ya
Ellis way to go on joinin OA, I've kind of been thinking about it also I havent heard of them having meetings in my town though but I have 3FC to help me through it all which is great!!
Jenelle your right girly I do need more than 1000 calories a day and I'm proud to report that today I have eaten all my points!!! Yayyy!!! I'm proud of myself since it's been awhile since I've eaten as many calories as I should
I hope you are all doing well!! Can't wait to hear from you!!
Michelle
Michelle, that's great! It can be tough to find an OA meeting in some places. I know we don't have a whole lot of them here, either. I think there's a sticky at the top of this forum that lists online OA meetings. I've been to quite a few of those.
Everyone else...I had a kind of rough evening. I didn't binge (thank GOD!), but I was feeling pitiful. My recovery has been going really well the past few weeks. I have that spark back and I *feel* pretty, but I'm always startled when I look in the mirror. This is going to sound so silly, but, as I get older, I look more and more like my mom! I do NOT want to look like my mom! Or, maybe it's that I don't want to turn into my mom! It's almost like I feel a midlife crisis coming on. For most of my life, I've always been mistaken for 10 years younger than I really am, but now I feel like I'm starting to catch up with my real age. Vanity sucks.
Amen Jenelle vanity does suck. I think the times when we start the negative tapes are when we need to reach out the most. When I nurture you or someone else I love I cut one more string to me and my self obsession. Getting over the world not revolving around me is so hard though. And I did a little body acceptance excercise this evening. UCK! UCK! UCK! But I did write on my mirror in water soluable marker, "I deserve to be healthy and happy" "I am a child of God" and "Choose love"
Ellis- Your awesome! The Canadians are awesome! I got to meet some at conference and just lovely spirits all around. We also got to dis Bush (sorry pro-Bush people )
Kat- Keep hanging in there ODAT is all we have.
Michelle- I do believe there is OA in Montana, I mean there is like 2 other people there right Sorry confusing you with Wyoming for a second. Meeting locator at www.oa.org
Today was a job interview and a day for re-evaluating how much drama I have in my life. I have a disease of the mind, body,and spirit, but I am not that disease and like all addictions I can manage it everyday. Some are of course better than others, but just this day was good
Chris you are hilarious!! Thanks for the meeting locator I appreciate it Good luck with your job interview. You are so inspiring and always look forward to reading your posts, yeah yeah I've been reading them for a few weeks now lol.
Jennelle - I'm like you, some days I feel like I'm so beautiful but then I glimpse the mirror and I hate what I see!! I know there is a beautiful me hidden under all this somewhere!! Actually I just kind of realized something, I think I feel pretty when I'm feeling confident, could it really be true that confidence makes a person shine? lol
I had a rough evening as well, I kinda felt like purging even though I didn't binge but I talked to hubby about it and he didn't know that I used to do it quite a bit so he just sat and talked with me until the compulsion to purge myself of my dinner, passed, thank god for him
Just wanted to let you all know, I'm still here. Thanks for your prayers and thoughts about my husband's grandfather. It will be hard for his grandmother, but we're praying that her spunky nature will kick in and give her the strength she needs to get through this, along with God's help of course.
I haven't been checking in much because I messed up my eating so bad, and it really got me down. Made me really mad at myself, that I would continue to be mean to myself and my body like that. I think I gained about 5 lbs through feeling that way.
I'm replying now, because 1)I wanted to say hi and 2) because I am feeling better now , this past Wednesday I started "another" new beginning in a journey to have healthier eating habits and I have been exercising for about a week now. I feel so much better. Just these last few days have made a big difference and has given me the motivation I needed to try this again, and I am really trying to get my strength my God to get me through this, so I can have victory in Him, and be a conquerer, so I can look back and say, wow, look what God got me through with that. I know I can do it in Him.
I'm trying, and I guess that's the best I can do for now.
Other than that, life is good, and I love and feel so blessed to have my kids and husband and all that I have in life. oxo
Much love to all of you and thanks for listening!
Hopefully you'll be hearing a more "positive" me instead of "negative", especially when it comes to my eating/dieting/exercising....etc
Skippy- I am so glad your back! Now go find Tracy You take it one day at a time and post when your feeling blue. I know I suck at it too. I have a real tendency to hide out when things are going really well or really bad. The thing is most of us understand. This food thing is a hard shitty thing and sometimes the disease voice is so loud it overwhelms us. Thats when we need God and the power of our friends to fight back. All of us would give you the best days everyday if we could.
Michelle- Purging for me is about emotions, if I happend to binge to try to shove the emotion down this is just the other end of that. Awesome for you for talking through it. God works through people so keep reaching out!
Me I want to screw with my food plan for the 8th million time so I wrote my sponsor. What is bothering me that I want to screw with the food? I have been having alot of emotions this week, but I am not hiding from them. Maybe this is my diseases slow creep. Out of my head and into action
Weekly Thread - Week of July 12-17
. I posted in the "our stories" thread so if you would like to know a little (or alot) about me please read 
Hey I am around!
Think about it! 
Sick of the obsession, this is no longer a diet, I have tools for survival and the steps are my answer 
I haven't been keeping up. I'm so sorry you lost your MIL. 
