Hmmm. I am sitting here feeling a bit stupid, and very sad. I've been doing quite a bit of clothes shopping recently, which I have really enjoyed......I used to hate hate hate clothes shopping, and avoided it like the plague....Anyway, I have been clearing out my closets, and ruthlessly throwing out everything, and I mean everything that is too big, or that I don't like, or that I won't wear. You would think that I would feel great, since all my old clothes are too big.......but I am feeling really really really sad. Like I am losing my friends......some of these clothes I really like, and I have had for years - but they are seriously too big on me, and make me look much larger than I am. So they are going! My other sadness is also ridiculous.....there's a great shop (boutique), where I buy smart clothes - the guy who runs it is fantastic, very frank about what looks good and what looks awful, and I always say that he taught me how to dress! They have a sale on, so I went there yesterday, and bought some beautiful shirts and trousers, and I realised that I will probably shop in there one more time, for some autumn/winter jackets, and then I will be too small for their clothes........Now you would think I would feel great about that, but I feel sad, and a bit lost. I don't know where to shop! I've just about figured out where to go for my 'new' figure (UK size 20 - used to be UK size 30), and now I'lle have to figure it all out again.....
Am I totally weird????????? Does anyone else feel like this????
07-05-2004, 08:41 AM
As soon as somebody starts talking about their problems shopping for clothes I immediately relate to what they're talking about!
artist - not knowing where to shop for clothes and feeling sad when you're loosing a great shop with great staff - it's not weird at all! I have this one store where I've bought all my clothes for the four years I've lived where I live now - and I love their clothes. (Not so much because the clothes are smart - more because they're dark, plain, basic, large, and inexpensive! :^: ) But this summer I have to start looking for clothes in other stores. And I feel a bit sad and lost too.
The store you're talking about sounds wonderful: smart clothes with smart employees - I wish every shop was like that! It wouldn't be so scary to enter them then!
And also artist: congratulation on the weight lost.
I've found - like anybody else who have lost weight - that loosing weight is like any other change in my life: even if I welcome many parts of it, there will always be things I miss and mourn. Be it clothes, comfort or security.
The only advice I can give is to take the time to mourn the changes. I try to remember that emotions change: I will not feel *extremely happy* to have lost weight every waking hour of my life (sometimes quite the opposite). But sometimes I will. :D
07-05-2004, 10:28 AM
I've never been one to buy a lot of clothes or shop in boutiques. WalMart is about my speed. :lol The problem with me and clothes is that I'll get a few shirts and pants that fit and I wear them right out and then I have nothing to wear. I guess I've been stuck in the "when I lose weight I will go buy nice clothes" rut which is really not a good thing to do. I have a uniform for work so outside of work I usually exist in sweatpants or shorts and t-shirts. Why don't you give your clothes to a charitable origanization who will either sell the clothes or give them to a women's shelter. They are always in need of extra clothing and I"m sure they would appreciate the nice well made clothes that you wear.
07-05-2004, 12:14 PM
I always have more anxiety about BUYING clothes than "throwing them away" (which is really code for giving them to Good Will...) because it's like, if I buy this $30 pair of jeans in a size 20, how long until I'm a size 18? You know? So, I'm trying to get into 18's before the DREADED "back to school" shopping!
07-05-2004, 12:26 PM
Artist, I know what you mean.. I actually have a few pant suits and other work clothing that I love and keep wearing-- but now they really do look rediculous. I have even contemplated having them altered so I could keep them but I finally decided against it. Apryl, its true. When your losing weight pretty steadily, its hard to buy clothes knowing that you will soon need a smaller size. I bought tons of work clothes and casual clothes on Memorial Day weekend and now, they are too big! SO what I have decided to do until I reach my goal weight, is to only shop on sale racks and for bargains ONLY! That way, I can get lots of clothing with for 1/2 the cost! Kohls department store has sales like mad with up to 80% off of their original prices! I bought a pair of jeans, 3 pairs of shorts, 2 tops a pair of sandals and tennis shoes, socks and underwear yesterday all for $92! So its bargain shopping for me until I reach goal. That works out well.
It is sad to part with clothes that you just LOVE! I have this one size 20 Kakhi skirt from NY & Company that I bought 4 years ago, I love it love it love it but I am now wearing a 13.. Put two and two together it doesn't fit!! Even with a belt it looks silly!! Artist, you know you'll find something equally as "Loveable" in your new size!! You will look wonderful I am sure!
07-05-2004, 02:38 PM
Clothes anxiety. It makes me scared out of my mind when I start tossing things. I own one pair of size 18 jeans right now and everything else is a 16 or below. Except for my work clothes, I have only tossed out the 22's and the 24's (the crotch on the 24's about hangs on the floor, in fact both of these sizes are so long that the bottoms drag on the ground). Work clothes tend to run one size smaller than labeled, and the 20's are long, but I have this fear of falling asleep and waking up over 200 lbs. and having nothing to wear. :crazy: So your not alone in clothes anxiety land.
07-05-2004, 08:42 PM
Apryl! You are the only person who looks exactly like I'd pictured!
07-05-2004, 10:38 PM
artist - I certainly feel like that when I toss out stuff. Sometimes it's because it was a dress that made me feel spectacular. But MOST of the time it's because I'm getting rid of a safety net. If I those these clothes out, I can't gain the weight back. Right now, I've been waking up to the realization that my clothes are tight - if I had my old clothes, I could just jump back into those. But I don't, so it's either figure it out or buy more clothes.
Ivanna B. Skinny
07-06-2004, 12:13 AM
I really need to go through my closet and toss out some things. I feel that anxiety over losing my safty net too. I really havnt bought alot of new stuff yet...Im not at my goal yet. Just a pair of shorts, and a couple of shirts. I usually just wear teh same old t shirts I always did...except that noe they're loose fitting. BTW, Im a SAHM, so I dont have to dress for a job. I cant imagine how expensive it must be to keep your self in suits and such if you're loosing weight !
07-06-2004, 12:16 AM
Ladies - I agree with all of you. A huge part of me can't wait to throw away my clothes, however I can see it causing some anxiety as its like throwing away the safety blanket I've been hiding behind for the past couple of years. However, I need to realize that I plan on loosing this weight and keeping it off, so there's really no need for the old clothes. Maybe a part of me still hasn't realized that this is a life change not a temporary fix... I don't know, but I do know that you guys aren't the only ones with this anxiety..
But.... just think of the fun you'll have shopping when you reach your goal weight.. maybe wait to throw out clothes until you've bought the new stuff that you feel fabulous in... Just my 2cents. :)
07-06-2004, 12:38 AM
oh man... can i ever relate!!!! i went from a size 34 or so to a 26 before i bought new clothes!!! EVERYONE yelled at me... and THEN, it took me another few months to take anything to goodwill!!!! or the salvation army. and now that i'm somewhere in the vicinity of 16, i'm not shopping!!!!!!!!!!!! at least until after the plastic surgery.
i felt like i was giving up ME!!!! some of these clothes were comforting. comfortable. my friends. i was losing not only all this weight but also things that i was comfortable with... things that were part of me..
it's been hard. i now have 3 good outfits. they're too big and need to be altered. i'm delaying the inevitable.
in the meantime, i'm not shopping [but i did buy a new pair of walking shoes today!!!]
07-06-2004, 03:23 AM
I guess I'm the odd duck here. When I first lost weight, I had issues with getting rid of my clothes, but it didn't have anything to do with a worry about gaining the weight back (which I eventually did, in spades! :lol: ). It had more to do with the way I was raised. We were always one-paycheck-away-from-homeless poor, so we were taught to hang on to EVERYTHING. Clothes could be mended, taken in, handed down...we wore things until they literally fell apart. I solved the problem by giving my old clothes to Goodwill, although I did have some work pants altered to fit the new me. (The new me that was pregnant three months later! :rolleyes: )
Now, I just can't WAIT to get rid of clothes that are too big! As soon as I am comfortably in another size, those clothes are out the door! Of course, I've not been comfortably in another size for three years now, so I've got lots of clothes in the closet that are too small. That's my downfall...that "I'll fit back into them someday" thing. Of course, half the smaller sizes I own have been in my closet so long that they're almost back in style again! :lol:
07-06-2004, 06:05 AM
Wow. Thanks guys - its such a relief to know I'm not the only one going through this one! I must say, when I started out I refused to buy new clothes, since it seemed a waste of money......then I realised that I felt so much better (and looked so much better) wearing clothes that fit me, that I bought a few things in sales/cheaply....and I'm glad I did, because lots of people have been telling me how great I look, and that is such a motivation. The lastest shopping spree(s) is because I start a new job in August, and although I can mainly dress smart/casual, it will be a demanding job, and I want to feel good......so I have been taking advantage of the summer sales!
Also, I have discovered that I actually really enjoy clothes shopping. This has not happened to me since I was in my teens....and I'm 38 now! I have been working on the whole body image thing throughout this journey, and I guess it is paying off.....
As to needing the large sizes again.....I am determined for that not to happen.....I am losing very slowly, and am sure I am going to go through long periods of maintaining here and there.....but I am determined not to go back up again!
07-06-2004, 02:43 PM
Claire, you've got me thinking. Maybe I'll break down and check out some new sales once I get down to an 18. I'm down from a 26/28 to a fitted 20/loose 22 now, and still haven't bought anything new. I'm lucky to have a bunch of old size 20's and 22's, so I've been able to transition into them, thank goodness. I don't have anything smaller, since I got rid of it all when I hadn't worn it in a while (sort of gave up the ghost, you know?) So I'm wearing the old stuff now, and had planned to buy new clothes when the 20's literally fell off me -- which would probably be when I'm about a 16, I'd think, if I continue my mid-loss pattern of wearing things a size or two too big! But you make an interesting point about the motivating impact of looking good in the clothes you're IN, and the accompanying positive feedback. I don't like wearing saggy-bottomed pants! :no:
As for the old stuff, it's definitely going to the goodwill, although I'm heartsick about some of my business suits. They were NOT cheap, and I like them so much. I had entertained the thought of altering them, but when you have as much weight to lose as I do, that alteration thing only gets you so far before they're actually recreating a new garment using the old material! Fortunately the company I work for now doesn't require that I wear suits on a daily basis, so I'll be able to get away with the purchase of one or two down the road I think. In the meantime, it's business casual for me, and I think I'll be able to find some ok stuff on sale as I shrink. I'm not experiencing any mixed feelings about losing a safety net; just joy that I'm getting smaller mixed with sadness that I let myself get that big. As for buying new stuff, I'm just really going to take it easy, because I don't want to waste money on clothes that I'll just continue to shrink out of. This is a lifestyle change, not a temporary thing.
I'm turning the page on the fat chapter! :cool:
07-06-2004, 02:54 PM
I've not thrown anything out yet. My big t-shirts I wear as night shirts now. I really need to go through the closet though and start pitching things out. I've just been so busy lately doing other stuff that it has not even really crossed my mind. What does cross my mind is that when I go to pull out something to wear I think, nope, can't wear that it is way to big. So, I really do need to start weeding out some clothes. I think it is going to be great. Very liberating!!
I've not bought alot of clothes as I have been going down in pounds. I figure if I need something special I can go look for it. It helps that I had some clothes in the closet that are smaller sizes. I will get a few new things along the way, but I am most looking forward to buying clothes when I get to my goal weight.
07-06-2004, 04:11 PM
Sarah, if you'd rather not donate your suits to Goodwill, call your local welfare office and see if they have a program where you can donate your suits to a welfare-to-work program. A lot of women go through the job training, then have nothing suitable to wear for an interview. Also, there's a wonderful program in the Mississippi Delta called the Sunflower County Freedom Project, and they take donations of suits for their high school interns to wear when they intern in D.C. Their website is www.sunflowerfreedom.org.
07-06-2004, 04:25 PM
Wearing something smaller is such motivation for me... Even if it is just a pair of $3.99 lounge shorts off the sale rack. And its fun to try on new stuff and check out the new you as you progress toward your goal.
I hear ya abou the suit thing Sarah... I have some very nice suits that will not be worn now since I have lost weight. Our company doesn't require us to wear suits every day but for the most part, since I deal with people on a consistent basis, I do and its hard to keep looking "tailored" when you start looking sloppy in something that looked so nice just a few months ago.
07-07-2004, 05:55 AM
I also hear you on the suit thing.....in my 4 binbags of clothes to give away are some of my favourite favourite favourite jackets.....I can hear them crying to me now!
I would really encourage you to buy just a few new things - as Gretchen says, go for the sales racks - wearing clothes that are too big makes you look much bigger, and it really has made a huge (!!) difference to the way I feel. The first six months or so when I was losing, I didn't buy any new clothes....and I did begin to feel quite fed up that no-one noticed I was shrinking. Now, no exageration, every time I go out, somebody compliments me - and it makes me feel great.....and motivated......So go on, treat yourself!
07-07-2004, 10:56 AM
NO, I'M NOT! Alright, maybe the baggy pants have got to go. :chin:
Claire, I'm going to heed your advice, I think, and follow in the footsteps of you and Gretchen -- you clever girls! I WANT MORE COMPLIMENTS!! You really can't get too many, can you? ;) I'm getting some positive feedback now, and I know it's obvious that I've lost weight, but I also know that a lot of the clothes I wear still camouflage my loss and make me look bigger than I really am. (Smaller than I was, but still bigger than I've become!)
Gretchen, I agree completely :yes: about the difficulty in maintaining a "tailored" appearance when you're wearing baggy clothing! And when you're losing steadily, it's just not feasible to keep buying lots of clothing for every stage of loss.
Jennelle, I LOVE your suggestion to look into welfare-to-work programs for the donation of my old suits. That would be so much more gratifying than simply dumping them at the Goodwill for some bargain-hunter to find. I would love to have them go to someone who really could benefit from them in a more significant way. Thank you for such a great idea -- you rock. :goodvibes
Tammy, I think you should listen to Claire and Gretchen too. I'm sure with a child and a husband away serving overseas, you're not in a position to just go out and buy a whole new wardrobe for each stage of your loss, but I think it would be a great reward for doing such a phenomenal loss in losing weight AND quitting smoking! You deserve a little treat, and I'm sure you could find something inexpensive that you liked if you tried! I bet your daughter would think it was fun, too! :)
07-07-2004, 02:51 PM
Ok, ok. We have Kohls here also. I put clothes shopping down on my list of things to do before vacation. I love a bargain and Gretchen you really got a good one. I guess before I did not really care to shop to much, because I always felt so shameful because I felt so large. My self image was just awful. I don't feel that way as much anymore and I actually think I might enjoy buying some new clothes.
07-08-2004, 05:13 AM
Right.......Sarah and Tammy.......we want details of your shopping triumphs! Seriously, I will be so happy when you have both enjoyed yourselves hunting out the bargains, and getting all those lovely compliments!
PS. This will make you laugh. My jeans fell off me a couple of days ago.....I kid you not.....they were ridiculously loose (well, I hadn't bought jeans in 20 years, and NOBODY TOLD ME TO BUY THEM REALLY TIGHT.....)...anyway, I lost more weight/inches, they stretched....so there I was, bending down to sort the laundry with my jeans around my ankles.......So yesterday, I bought some new ones.......£10 ($17???), on sale....UK size 18!!!!! And this time they are tight....won't be falling around my ankles for a while.....
07-08-2004, 01:34 PM
LOL too funny claire about the jeans
I felt the same way as you but I read Dr. Phil's book and that was one of his keys so I actually started getting rid of a ton of my clothes while I was still preggo with William. They were mostly long-sleeved winter clothes and I knew I would not be going back to that size ever so I gave them to a coworker and her sister. Then when I was able to start losing the weight I went through my collection again getting rid of a lot of my comfort clothes--about 8 pairs of sweats, sweatshirts, zip sweat shirts, all of my comfort clothes and yes I did cry when I got rid of them. Some of these clothes I've worn for years and it was sad to see them go but at the same time I knew that I would have a whole new collection in a way smaller size to replace it with one of these days.
I probably won't start buying many new clothes until I get down to an 18. I'm in a good 24 now with some 22s. I actually wore and 18-20 shirt on July 4—It fit great in the shoulders and boobs and was tight around the waist and arms. My mom wears 20-22 clothing so I'll just borrow from her while I'm in those sizes and return them to her.