I know that personally, when I was overweight and not doing anything about it I was mostly miserable, frightened, and trying to seclude myself from the world. I was afraid of what people would think of the fat woman who was me, the women I used to make fun of, how horrible was I? Let me tell you though, I am glad I got to be overweight, only for the fact that it has made me a better person. I am no longer the snotty person I was before when I was a size 2 and cleaned up pretty well ;) (vain? moi? Nevah lol) Instead I'm caring and nurturing and I see everyones beauty not on the outside but on the inside. For this I'm thankful because being fat, obese, overweight, pleasantly plump, whatever you want to call it, it made me open my eyes and see there is more to people more to life.
So now on to the real reason I'm posting this besides sharing with you all how vain and uncaring I used to be. We're all here and getting healthy together and seeing the changes in our bodies. I've noticed that I'm so much happier, even though I am still overweight, I know that I won't be and I'll be healthy soon and its changed my whole outlook on life.
I know that when I started gaining weight and mostly the time when I was at my highest weight that I hated yes hated what happened to me. WHY ME? So, anyway, I stopped caring, I stopped caring about how I looked, I stopped caring about having nice clothing, I stopped caring about doing my hair or makeup things that used to make me feel good, I stopped LIVING.
I now refuse to let my weight or the meanness of others deter me from my goal. My sister the other day said the greatest thing to me, she said "everytime I see you (which is almost daily) I can tell how hard you are working and how much progress you've made" how wonderful is that!! Then, I went shopping for some new clothes and again my sister came over so we could go out and she says "oh look you are all cute now!!" I'm so thankful that she compliments me through this because it's important to my success I think. I believe that if you look at my avatar picture which was taken last week , that you can tell that I've become a truely happy person.
I thank god everyday that I got fat, only because its made ME a better person.
I just thought I'd share. I'd like to hear your stories, if you feel comfortable sharing them.
07-04-2004, 07:13 AM
Oh, Michelle, that is so beautiful. :cry: (YOU were snotty!? No WAY!!!)
I'm feeling so crappy right now. I'm not losing, I'm not OP, and I haven't been to the gym in two weeks.
Because Dad is ill, I'm seeing a LOT of my sister, and while I love her so much, she is tiny and fit, and I feel like an ugly blob beside her. It's no good reminding myself that she used to be the fat one and me the tiny fit sister. It's all about now, and I CAN'T get it together.
And yes, it's affecting my happiness greatly. :(
But I like what you said about feeling compassion for other people. You're right... it's very humbling being fat. EVERYONE should be fat for at least a year! :lol:
07-04-2004, 10:11 AM
Boy, does this resonate! I can't imagine anyone I've met on this site ever being anything but loving, compassionate, and sharing. But I have much more empathy with folks who fight "the Battle of the Bulge" now than I did before I'd gained weight. I find, though, that I want to share with them what SB has brought back to my life: health!!! My friend Mark took up SB after he saw my reasults -- he's probably more than 100 pounds over his ideal -- and I just feel so happy for him when he gets excited about his new-found success. But you know, he's always been a warm, wonderful person, and it doesn't matter what he weighs to most people. I just want to have him around a long time, so for that reason alone, thinner is better! :cp:
07-04-2004, 02:31 PM
I really can't say that I think being overweight has made me a better person. I have felt such ugly feelings b/c of my weight. I have said such ugly things in my head about "skinny people" b/c of my jealousy. I let myself become angry at the other fat people in my life for counting me as "one of them" b/c I never wanted to picture myself that way. It has been such a time of self-pity and hopelessness and hiding. I had tried lots of different ways to lose weight and nothing ever worked. Some made me stop gaining, but I never actually lost weight until SBD. I had just come to the conclusion that this was how I was, how I would always be, and there was nothing I could really do about it.
I'm finding now, though, that when I see skinny people, I don't feel that surge of envy and animosity, but rather it makes me think...maybe someday I'll be able to wear that? I'm in a weird sort of situation these days. People tell me that I'm an inspiration to them, people now look me in the eye when I pass them in the hallway. I've actually been trying to find ways to show myself off...and that's such change in mindset for me.
In my mind, I have accomplished what I thought was impossible, and I'm proud of myself for having done it the right way through hard work and good eating. It has given me confidence for attempting other seemingly impossible things, too.
So no, I don't think I'm better for having been overweight. I have learned a lot about my own inner strength, though. I have learned to be healthier in mind and body. I hope that I will remember what it was to feel so huge and how that affected my life so that I can help other people along their way.
07-04-2004, 02:44 PM
Fuzzy - I think we'll all come away from our overweight experience with different lessons learned etc... But in the end I think it all comes back to the same few things, that we are strong, and that we're compassionate, and anything is possible if we put our minds to it.
Ellis - I kind of get the same way around my sister but I try not to in fact although she's thinner than me by about 60 lbs or so, I think I'll reach my goal sooner. I exercise and eat clean both of which she doesnt and she commends me for that and never never rubs it in my face that she is thinner. We both reminisce about our skinny years.
Natter - I think perhaps that I made myself come across a bit more mean than I actually was lol, but I know I've said omg look at that person!! Don't they notice how big they've gotten? Why don't they do something about it? Stuff along those lines. I would never have not been friends with someone because of their weight. There is something special in all of us though. I'm glad I got the chance to open my eyes :) and my heart.
07-05-2004, 12:01 PM
Ditto to what you are all saying. For me I noticed that I was always unhappy. I NEVER wanted to go anywhere. Why would I buy clothes that I didn't like and never wanted to buy anything in the size that I needed at the time. I didn't want to get out of bed, sleeping was an escape.
Now I'm having the time of my life and wish I could have back the last 10-15 years!!!!!
People treat me different now. It's kinda of sad actually. I'm the same person I was 6 months ago, but people are nicer too. Ya, I'm sure that some of it is that I smile more, but their is a difference. There is a discrimination that overweight people deal with and it's sad.
I was at a sunrise breakfast on Saturday morning for our church. I was cooking pancakes (not eating them) and some 80 year old lady walked up behind me and patted me on the tush and said "you have the cutest fanny in the church"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That really caught me off guard. (in the workplace that's a punishable offense! :D ) Anyway, people are different.
I'm more aware now of feelings. My daughter has been struggling with her weight for about a year. I've tried to be so careful, because I know how my mother has made me feel for the past 15 years and I've hated it.