Struggling tonight - 3 Fat Chicks on a Diet Weight Loss Community

glynne · 06-19-2004, 12:55 AM

Hello all,

I am sort of struggling tonight. Having some stress ~ daughter Sara called home and had been fighting with her husband ~ told him she wanted a divorce. As you can imagine that did not go over well. He took her car, locked her out of their apartment. She called home and said she wanted to go to the airport right now and come to us. (She is in Houston ~ we are in NC) Many complications ~ she can't just leave ~ they are the parents of a wonderful little 6 year old boy ~ he is with his father's mother for the weekend (thankfully he is not there hearing them fight). My son Jason lives there with them ~ so he is locked out of his place too. Thank goodness he is there, otherwise she would be all alone with out any other family support. She feels that all her husband's family is against her. To top it off today is her birthday ~ what a way for her birthday to be. Trying to get her to go for some legal help so she doesn't make a mistake that will turn out badly down the road.

Anyway, my coping mechanism has always been food in times of stress. I have been back on track and doing well for a week now and am hoping so hard that I can find some alternate ways to cope and not mess up my progress.

Thanks for listening. If any of you all believe in prayer ~ Sara sure could use some tonight.

Gayle

artist · 06-19-2004, 09:55 AM

Hi Gayle

Sorry to hear that your daughter is having such a difficult time. Its not surprising that you're struggling - I certainly know how that feels.

My way through the stress trigger is to try and look after myself really well.....exercise, hot baths, calming music, good books, chatting to friends, early nights etc etc. On the food front, I don't fight the urge to eat, I just eat something healthy (usually fruit and low fat yogurt), drink herbal tea, and make sure I eat good healthy meals and snacks. Also, I found it helps to remind myself that eating doesn't make a difference to the problem/situation - and I know how much worse I'lle feel if I eat junk food/lots of sugar etc.

Take care of yourself, and I hope things work out for your daughter....

Jillegal · 06-19-2004, 10:13 AM

That's tough Gayle - it's so difficult when things happen to loved ones and we feel powerless to do much more than give support.

I agree wholeheartedly with Claire that eating for comfort won't make a difference to the problem and will only compound the situation by making you feel bad for your daughter AND yourself.

When the urge to resort to comfort food hits, try to go for a long walk, run a bath, call a friend, or log on here and tell us your woes - we care. Hope things improve soon

Sheila53 · 06-19-2004, 04:19 PM

I'm so sorry about the situation. It's tough when our kids are hurting, and we can't really do anything about it. I do know that comforting yourself with food will medicate the immediate pain, but make you feel worse in the end. I hope you were able to make it through the night without comfort eating.

Saying a prayer that things will get better for your daughter . . .

Tammy32 · 06-19-2004, 04:42 PM

My kids are all still at home, but I can imagine how hard it must be for your daughter to be so far away from you all. Hopefully today they will work it out. I know how hard it is to have in-laws that you think are against you and they just makes her situation even tougher. I'm glad your son is there for her. I'm sure that gives you much comfort too.

Gayle, Fight the urge to seek comfort in food. I know just how hard that is. But, in the end you will be so much happier in the joy you get from conquering those urges to eat for comfort as opposed to giving in and feeling guilty. We are here for you. Never forget that. You and your family are in my thoughts.

glynne · 06-19-2004, 05:59 PM

Thank you all for your prayers and support. I made it through last night and didn't eat over my calorie limit, or the wrong stuff. I had some of the same thoughts that you all mentioned ~ that eating wouldn't help their problem. Their difficulties have been brewing for months, but came to a head yesterday. I'm not sure, but I have the feeling that there are months of stress and struggle ahead, so I hope I can keep finding alternate ways to deal with my stress/worries.

Thanks again ~ Gayle

artist · 06-20-2004, 01:10 AM

Gayle

You're a star!!!! Great job on fighting the comfort eating demons last night - that's a real achievement....

I hope things are not as bad as you fear for your daughter.....whatever happens, try and look after yourself, and keep coming here for motivation and support.....that's what this place is for!

anagram · 06-20-2004, 09:32 AM

Gayle - you did just the right thing by posting and expressing your stress and concern. Sometimes the "stuffing it down" adds to the triggers. Am so proud you were able to hold on, not sure I could have. Sometimes our children's problems affect us even more than our own. Will certainly keep Sara in prayer and hopefully this coming to a head can lead her and her young family in a direction that will work well for all concerned. Also understand only too well the stress in-laws can put on a young marriage (my own and my daughter's but HOPEFULLY not my son's).

Tammy32 · 06-20-2004, 12:03 PM

Gayle, awesome job on controlling the monster!! I'm so proud of you! I hope that your daughter and son-in-law can work out their problems. It kind of sounds like they live to close to his parents. That sometimes is not a good thing. I have a friend here who lived very close to her mother and father in their early marriage and they had so many problems it was not funny with their marriage. They finally moved away, he's in the military, and their marriage really shaped back up.

Gayle, You are a strong woman and you will get through this. I know that you can handle this stress without seeking out comfort eating. Just remember life is riddled with the trials and tribulations of stress and worry. If you get it under control now you will be all set for whatever else could come up in the future. I am keeping your family in my thoughts. You can do this Gayle.

glynne · 06-21-2004, 10:33 AM

Hanging in there. Things seem to have settled down for the moment at Sara's house. Maybe they had some time to cool off a little and hopefully think a little more clearly. I just want so badly for everything to be ok.

Sometimes, I could throttle my husband in all this. He is kind of like an ostritch with his head in the sand ~ about life. He doesn't like hearing about anything unpleasant. I was sharing my concerns for Sara with him. He will listen a little, then doesn't want to hear anymore. The thing that got me is that he had the nerve to tell me that I like worrying about my kids problems. Is the man nuts? I wish for my kids happiness and for things to go smoothly in life. I hate when they hurt and are having a hard time. Grrrrrrr!!!!

Made it through another day ok with the eating.

Thanks for listening.

Gayle

barbygirl43 · 06-21-2004, 11:13 AM

Glad to hear things are going somewhat better. Hopefully they will get some counseling and be able to smooth things out.

good for you for not turning to food. Hang in there, it will be over with before you know it.

Tammy32 · 06-21-2004, 11:23 AM

Gayle, I'm glad to hear things are somewhat calmer now. Lots of husbands are like yours, that's why we have women friends..hehe..they will listen, listen, and listen more til you can say no more about it. I hope that you have a good week Gayle. Superb job with the self-control over food.

Sandi · 06-21-2004, 04:34 PM

Gayle - I'm sorry that your daughter is having a rough time. Even if you can't be with her right noiw, it sounds like you are doing a great job of supporting her.

And great job on realizing that food will not make your problems go away. Hang in there!!

SuchAPrettyFace · 06-21-2004, 08:44 PM

Sorry to hear this, Gayle. Congrats on not giving in to the old habits. I will keep your daughter in my prayers.