100 lb. Club - Some Encouragement




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tolose85
06-10-2004, 10:01 AM
I was talking with a co-worker today, she is on WW and said to me, " In my next life I want to be skinny and beautiful so I don't ever have to do this weight loss thing again". My response to her was, I used to think like that too but just think, if We weren't heavy, what would we be working toward? I have quit looking at being heavy as such a negative and turned it into a positive. God gave us these bodies for a reason. We have a goal, we feel extremely proud when we obtain a goal such as loosing weight. Sure being heavy is no fun but the thing is, we have something that the skinny minnys don't have and thats the challenge of losing weight. You're thinking WHAT??? I am sure some of you think I am crazy for thinking this way but I feel blessed that I have the opportunity to change my self. People without weight problems will never know the struggle or have the opportunity to change themselves (Weight wise) These challenges make us stronger individuals. I love CHALLENGE myself. How rewarding to accomplish a goal and once the weights gone, maintaining. It gives me something to look forward to something to always be proud of weather it's a 5 lb loss or gain-- If anything You learn excellent self-disclipline which can be carried through other aspects of your life. My motivation is the challenge given to me. I love losing weight, its hard and takes a lot of work but it is so worth it to me for more than one reason, like my health but also the self gratification of accomplishing a goal. Sure we mess up and fall off the bandwagon once in a while. Its just a test. I know I am going to pass the test and I know you will too! I just wanted to share my thoughts with you all. As I told my co-worker and it goes for all of you, You are beautiful no matter what size you are and you have been given the gift of being overweight--its a challenge and you know you can overcome it!


Sandi
06-10-2004, 10:05 AM
Wow! That is one positive attitude you have there Missy.

I'm not sure I feel the same way. I wish this weight problem didn't exist. I think I would rather feel reward in other areas.

Let me think on this...

glynne
06-10-2004, 11:50 AM
Here is another thought to go with Gretchens. If there can be a positive thing about this journey it is that because of what we are going through, we can provide understanding and support to someone else, because we understand what they are going through, having been through it ourselves.

Gayle


Tammy32
06-10-2004, 12:09 PM
I don't think that your way of thinking is crazy Gretchen. In many ways we did not choose to be overweight but when it comes down to it we did it to ourselves. Thus meaning that somewhere in our lives there are many things that caused that and many things that needed to be solved to change it. And, in order to change those things and lose weight we have to deal with so many issues that do and will overflow into other issues in our lives not dealing with weight loss. It gives us, strength, discipline, and motivation and many other positive ways to do deal with issues. I realize that is very hard to lose weight, but the accomplishment I feel for actually doing it is amazing. This journey makes us stronger and wiser and more able to deal with challenges that will get thrown our way throughout our lives. Bravo Gretchen for having such a kick a** attitude!!

lessofsarahtolove
06-10-2004, 02:16 PM
Gretchen, I agree with you completely. I think you really nailed it when you said, "These challenges make us stronger individuals." I was just talking about this with my sweetie the other day; I was saying that I really feel advantaged, because I know that I can do this very difficult thing. I know it because I've proven it to myself by staying on track since I started this. I know about myself the following: I possess discipline; I can set a long-term goal and map the steps necessary to meet it; I can stay the course in the face of huge challenge; and I can remain true to my own convictions by doing what I say I am going to do.....for MYSELF.

What things to know about yourself! In my professional life, I've been recognized for some different achievements and that certainly has been gratifying.......but this, THIS achievement will be the one of which I am most proud. I have not been perfect, and another person might have been able to have accomplished more than I have since March 1, but I know that I'm 110% on track, and that I'm going to REMAIN 110% on track for the rest of my life........through loss and into maintenance......and then on to continually striving to improve my physical health. I truly feel like this is an opportunity to learn some amazing lessons -- about my will, my true character, and my body. What a gift!! :high: Huge, enthusiastic high five to you, Gretchen my friend! :high: These lessons we'll be able to apply to every area of our lives, and just continually build on our learnings.

To your co-worker I would ask, "You have these capabilities.....don't you want to reveal them to yourself???? You have to put yourself to the test -- sometimes more than once -- to learn that you can pass it! What's the alternative? Not try, for fear of failing? Is that how you want to live your life -- is that who you want to be? Is that what you think you're capable of?"
Sometimes you don't know you can till you have. And then get the **** out of the way. :yes:

I love that you brought this up. It's huge. Gretchen, gotta say: You da poo, man. You da poo. :smoking:

howie6267
06-10-2004, 02:38 PM
I like your tude Gretchen. That was well said and I agree 100%. Thanks for the encouragement.

Jillegal
06-10-2004, 02:46 PM
Edited to delete cynical and bitter post.

tolose85
06-10-2004, 02:58 PM
As I said before, I don't expect everyone to feel the way I do. Eventhough you are doing this because you owe it to yourself to undo the bad things you did to yourself, don't you feel greatful that you even have the opportunity to do so? Thats my point. I feel you can make anything a positive. I do respect and value your opinion Jill. Thank you for sharing.

JustGail
06-10-2004, 03:14 PM
Gretchen, I see where you are coming from and I agree with you to a certain extent. I am overweight because of the life I had as a child. I was abused meantally, physically and emotionally. I was molested and at times was left at home for weeks without nothing to eat but candy. When I got married I was at last free to eat. I couldn't believe that I actually had access to as much food as I wanted and nobody was going to stop me from eating when I was still hungry. I married for all the wrong reasons and was not happy for 31 years. I ate to fill the voids in my life. Food was my companion because my ex hubby never had time to talk to me. I don't think we ever had a real conversation other than talking about bills and the kids. I dieted all my life. I lived the yo yo life just like many of you. I am happy now. I have a man that loves me for me and thinks I'm gorgeous regardless of how much I weigh. For the first time in my life I am ready to do this for ME and nobody but me. My doctor isn't making me, my soulmate isn't making me, my son isn't making me...I am making me because when I left my hubby I set gols for myself. I have achieved three of the goals I set and I have two more. One is to lose this weight and the other is to learn how to drive. I have never had a driver's license because my ex hubby would yell and critisize me when he tried to teach me. I refused to go through his mental abuse. I depended on people to drive me everywhere I wanted to go. I realize now that I am the only person that can make ME happy. Making myself happy makes it so much easier to make others happy.

I know this is a struggle for all of us. I know we all need each other more than any of us possibly realize. It's not easy, but is anything worth having easy? Aren't we blessed to have forums such as this to help guide us? Some of us get frustrated because we expect too much. I am so guilty of that. Before we went on vaction I had gained weight and I know it was fluifds because I didn't cheat on my diet. It still crushed me. I was so down in the dumps. Several of you pulled me up...for that I thank you. When I got home from vacation I had gained even more weight and I KNOW this was fluids because of the swelling. I am finally starting to decompress and I am starting to see the scales move backwards again. It will happen...I will lose this weight but it's not going to go as fast as I want it to. I just have to accept that. If and when I feel like I really need something sinfully delicious I will have it and not hate myself for it. I will just get it out of my system and get back on program. I am so pumped and excited about recipes and such I don't really have any cravings. I am always satisfied after meals.

Those of you that are having a hard time please don't give up. Stay focused and don't beat yourself up all the time. Just do the best you can. Don't expect it to fall off. Keep a fat pic of yourself close at hand...one that is really YUCK. When you feel the urge to cheat pull that pic out and see how you feel. I got my boyfriend to take a picture of me in my bathing suit on vacation...boy was that a sight to behold. I look at that pic and say to myself...you just wait till this time next year Miss Gail...you are gonna look so much different. It keeps me going and it gives me the strength I need to achieve my goal. That's all I'm asking...nothing more.

Gail

barbygirl43
06-10-2004, 05:15 PM
I agree with you as well. I love a challenge and you are right this is probably this biggest challenge I will ever take on.
Of course I also have those days when I wish I could just eat whatever I want and not have to worry about gaining 5 pounds. I have other days when I don't want to monitor my food, water, exercise and just be the old me. Then I have to remind myself that the "old me" would be sitting at 300 or more pounds, huffing to get up and chase after my daughter because she tried to swallow a penny or something.

You are so right about those who don't go through this not understanding. You look at all the women (and men) who are in the "normal" ranges for their height and build and think they are fat and need to lose weight.

Look at all of us who say "what I wouldn't give to weigh what I did in (insert time of life here). I'm sure you're just like me and thought you were huge at that weight and now would love to be there at this moment. But without going through this transformation period of learning to eat right and get in my exercise, yes I could get down to that weight I once was but I'd also be back up to the weight I was at last year without a second thought if I weren't challenging myself to eat better and exercise more.

Sandi
06-10-2004, 05:39 PM
OK - I thought on this, and I am happy that you feel so good about this right now. And I am also happy that you are having so much success. But I do feel that's why you think that "I love losing weight". It's because you are.

I don't like being this way. I don't love losing weight, even when I am having success. Now I don't feel cursed because I know I did this to myself, but I am certainly not happy about the challenge that I bestowed upon myself by eating too many oreos, krispy creams and pizza.

If I could snap my fingers - baby - they'd be snapped!!!

tolose85
06-10-2004, 05:55 PM
THanks Sandi.

You are probably right. I am losing weight now and am happy about it. Things could be different if I were gaining instead--BUT I, no matter what will try to remain focused. Its weird, but this time I do really enjoy this. and not because I am losing weight but because I am losing bad habits. I really got into it this time, made a binder and filled it with info, I'm reading about health all the time and dang it, I am proud to have gotten where I am.

I didn't mean to make anyone feel ill toward me. I am just happy and I thought I could encourage some others.

I have always liked to be healthy.. I wasn't. I am trying to now. I guess optimism doesn't work for everyone and I just need to accept that. You are all doing a fine job and no matter how you reach your goal, do what's best for you! Love to all.

Tammy32
06-10-2004, 06:18 PM
Gretchen, by no means should you feel bad about what you feel. The conclusions you have come to have come from alot of thought and soul searching. It's understandable that not everyone is going to agree with what you feel, because we are all unique and look at the world differently. I am also making this a positive experience, and I am proud of myself, and I am so much happier than I have been in a long time. My husband calls me beautiful quite often and I would always reply, "I'm not". My self-confidence is so much better now that I can look at myself and see that I am Beautiful inside and out. This is a truly growing and positive experience. I'm the only one who can do this for me and if I woke up everyday hating this experience I would be dooming myself to fail. I will not fail, it is not an option. It takes alot of inner strength and discipline to lose weight, so I think that it is a huge accomplishment and one to be very happy about every step of the way.

The ugly fact. We can't snap our fingers and be thin. And anyways, what kind of lesson would we learn from that?? Not one that I will be teaching my kids anytime soon. Instant gratification!! Life is definately not that way.

I'm not trying to stir the pot. This is just what I feel, and I understand that we don't all think the same. I can see that this has gotten a little heated, but I don't think that is a bad thing at all. Not often do you get to see the depth of how people really feel and that is refreshing. :) :)

artist
06-10-2004, 07:47 PM
Hmmmm. This thread is certainly making me think. So, I agree that I am a happier person because I am eating healthily and exercising regularly - I really like having a lot more energy. But do I love doing this??? Not particularly! I go through phases when it truly becomes habit, and what I do, and I'd say those are the best times. And I guess for me, I've taken on more demanding challenges in my professional life, and will do so again, so while I quite like working towards a goal and seeing results, for me its not the 'biggest thing'. Thanks for getting such a thought provoking debate going Gretchen!

Raelynn
06-10-2004, 09:26 PM
Gretchen, I love your positive attitude. I am also an optimist and although I haven't quite adopted an "I love losing weight" attitude, your words inspired me and continue to do so. :)

lessofsarahtolove
06-10-2004, 10:33 PM
What she said. *pointing at Tammy* I read your post and just couldn't help but :yes: I think you responded beautifully.

Gretchen, by no means should you feel bad about what you feel. The conclusions you have come to have come from alot of thought and soul searching. It's understandable that not everyone is going to agree with what you feel, because we are all unique and look at the world differently. I am also making this a positive experience, and I am proud of myself, and I am so much happier than I have been in a long time. My husband calls me beautiful quite often and I would always reply, "I'm not". My self-confidence is so much better now that I can look at myself and see that I am Beautiful inside and out. This is a truly growing and positive experience. I'm the only one who can do this for me and if I woke up everyday hating this experience I would be dooming myself to fail. I will not fail, it is not an option. It takes alot of inner strength and discipline to lose weight, so I think that it is a huge accomplishment and one to be very happy about every step of the way.

The ugly fact. We can't snap our fingers and be thin. And anyways, what kind of lesson would we learn from that?? Not one that I will be teaching my kids anytime soon. Instant gratification!! Life is definately not that way.

I'm not trying to stir the pot. This is just what I feel, and I understand that we don't all think the same. I can see that this has gotten a little heated, but I don't think that is a bad thing at all. Not often do you get to see the depth of how people really feel and that is refreshing. :) :)

lessofsarahtolove
06-10-2004, 11:08 PM
Gretchen, I just wanted to say that I loved your post, and am sorry that more don't share a positive approach to this challenge. I think Tammy made some brilliant points also, particularly when she referred said, "If I woke every day hating this experience I would be dooming myself to fail." Your embrace of the positive in this experience clearly is one of the keys to your success, so I don't really get knocking it -- even if you can't imagine sharing it.

Everything is a choice. You can choose to be positive, and you can choose to be negative. Each one of us here has made choices along the way -- choices for which we alone are responsible -- and these choices led to our weight problems. Everybody here shares that in common, as well as a desire to lose the weight and be healthier. I think it's pretty simple after that: you can feel positive about what the hard journey back can yield and teach you and look for the good in the experience, or you can feel like :censored: about the state you're in and be miserable, suffering every step of the way. I don't feel like a victim because I choose to eat cottage cheese or broiled fish instead of french fries and hamburgers, or make a point of logging my food every day and counting my calories, or make a conscious effort to hold myself accountable for doing my cardio or weights when I don't feel like it. I feel excited, and hopeful, and self-confident...and dare I say it, HAPPY because I'm doing something positive about the thing that I don't like, rather than simply disliking it. And I love hearing from like-minded, positive people about what works for them, what they've learned and applied to their programs, and how they're taking/regaining/maintaining control of their health.

Gretchen, I think you had a really great idea, sharing your positive philosophy and excitement, and it seems that a few of us here both share it and value your message. The folks that don't, well, I can't speak for them. I wish them well, and I wish for them a lifetime of happy, positive choices. You go, girl -- keep that positive energy coming! Gee, I wonder if it's had any impact on your success.....hmmmm. :chin:

:goodvibes :goodvibes :goodvibes :goodvibes :goodvibes :goodvibes

howie6267
06-11-2004, 03:38 AM
Wether you feel that way or not about your weight loss it's a great spin. I think we could all use some positive thinking to get us through this time in our life. So you go Gretchen. I know you are going to make it.

Sandi
06-11-2004, 10:14 AM
hmmmm, I feel like I should add more here....what to say. I am a VERY positive and optimistic person; I look for the good in everything. And I don't think that just because I am not grateful for my weight issues makes me any less positive or optimistic.

Gretchen, I want you to know that I feel absolutely NO ill towards you, and I don't think anyone else does either. None. I think you add a great deal to this site and I'm happy your here. And I think you do a great job encouraging others. I just don't happen to agree with you on this one topic. no big deal.

tolose85
06-11-2004, 11:33 AM
Thanks. Whats life without a little debate anyway. Life would be boring if we all thought, felt and did the same.

I appreciate your honesty. And you are right. No big deal! :)

Tammy32
06-11-2004, 12:08 PM
What a great discussion this has been. :) :) I think we all had some great points of view, even those that we don't agree with. I've always told people I will listen to everything they tell me. I don't have to agree with their opinion, but I will always respect it. And, respect is a huge factor in life. *group hug* everyone.

Jillegal
06-11-2004, 12:12 PM
Whatever contributes to success is great and I agree that debate is healthy (as long as people don't become overly sensitive and defensive - case in point, I haven't seen any posts here asking Gretchen to apologize for her attitude, or anyone declaring themselves a victim for having to eat cottage cheese or saying there's anything negative whatsoever about the concept of losing weight).

I'll admit to being cynical about "counting my blessings" for inheriting my father's fat genes or for having emotional imbalances that lead to overeating. However, I've found my bitterness over my weight issues to be a great motivator to change my life. I've found only positives from adopting better eating habits, exercising more and losing a great amount of weight. I do not particularly enjoy the process by any means, but I consider it a necessary evil and take pride in striving to correct my self-destructive behaviour. I can't say I valued having the opportunity thrust upon me, although I do value greatly the many opportunities I've had to overcome obstacles and adversity not caused by my own gluttony. I AM a positive person and in that respect I am positive I will be successful in what I am realistic enough to consider a lifelong battle.

Yes, your spin is wonderful if it works for you Gretchen and I applaud your positive mindset and naturally support it. :)

howie6267
06-11-2004, 01:32 PM
Sandi I hope you or no one else took what I said as a negitive. I was not saying you are not a positive person or that you should agree with everything said here. I'm just saying wether we feel the way Gretchen does or not it's a great attitude to have and we can all use that.

Safora
06-11-2004, 01:40 PM
Its interesting...When I first read these posts I thought everyone was a little nuts....Be grateful for being FAT??? NEVER! But then I got to think about it more. I remember my relationship with my body the only time in my life when I was thin and I hated my body. I thought I was fat when I was a size 6. Nothing anyone said would have convinced me otherwise. I didnt have healthy eating habits then either. Now I would be more than thrilled with that weight. When I gained all the weight I was going through a lot of emotional issues. The weight is just the symptom. It is forcing me to deal with all my issues. That is a good thing. Without the weight I may not be motivated to work on myself. This time I am feeling very positive with my weight loss. I dont feel angry or deprived. I feel like it is a challange. One I can win. It is the first time in my life that I have felt this way. I also feel that because of the weight I am more compassionate to others with weight issues. I am learning to eat healthy and to take care of myself. I know I never would have bothered to do that if I didnt have to. So am I greatful for this challenge? Yes I guess I am.

And Ive gotten to meet all of you which is a wonderful thing that I would have missed out on if I didnt have to loose the weight.

lessofsarahtolove
06-11-2004, 02:30 PM
Its interesting...When I first read these posts I thought everyone was a little nuts....Be grateful for being FAT??? NEVER! But then I got to think about it more................So am I greatful for this challenge? Yes I guess I am.


Hey there, SnugasaPug -- first of all, this has to be said: I LOVE THAT DOG!!! :love: Mine is an Italian Greyhound (like a miniature greyhound, if you've never seen one) but he's not purebred; he's a rescue, a mix of 3/4 Italian Greyhound, and - if you can believe it - 1/4 pug......so he got some of the great qualities of the pugs, but looks much, much more like an IG. Anyway, your little guy makes me literally laugh out loud and smile hugely every time I run across one of your posts! He's just too cute and he makes me happy! But I digress....... ;)

I wanted to say that I really appreciated your post and completely agree (what a surprise! ;) ) Like you, I sure wouldn't have picked the development of a weight problem, but it really is just a symptom, and now that I'm tackling it - and the reasons I developed it - with everything I've got, I too find that I really appreciate what both the weight and the process of losing it have forced me to learn.

By the way, I think you're cool, and I'm glad you're here! :)

Keillynsmom
06-11-2004, 02:43 PM
Gretchen,

All I can say is: WHAT A GREAT POST! That was something I needed to hear and need to think about.

Thanks,

Barb