100 lb. Club - I've lost all motivation and need help
06-09-2004, 09:36 PM
I'm ready to give up. I start off every day with exercising and a healthy breakfast..then go downhill from there. I've regressed to really bad habits, such as eating after dinner, eating junk, not drinking enough water and not eating enough fruits and vegetables. I'm so afraid I"m going to gain back all fifty pounds I've lost. I'm craving and eating junk. I don't know what's wrong with me. I'm sick of this-I want the weight off. I want to feel in control again. I can feel myself sliding into that out of control, I don't care mentality.
How can I stop myself from going back to that dark place and get back to healthy eating? I don't even want to get on the scale, because the scale drives me crazy. If I see I've lost, I eat...if i see I've gained, I eat. So there's no point in even getting on the scale until I'm back in control. The problem is, I don't know how to get back in control.
06-09-2004, 09:49 PM
Heya Sherry, I think you really need to go to a quiet place and reflect on the weight you have lost so far and how that makes you feel. And, how bad it would make you feel if you gained it all back. If you weigh the feelings of both of those you know that you are going to choose to stay on track and keep going. I think that you would be in worse control if you just let this go and gain your weight back. It is going to be ten times worse than the place you are at now. I have to think that way. I feel like even when I have lost all my weight it will be just like any other addiction out there. You have to hold yourself accountable. I'm almost certain you can get through this and you will be a stronger person for it. Don't give up!! It is not even an option. I know you are not a quitter!
Ivanna B. Skinny
06-09-2004, 10:03 PM
OH Sherry! Dont give up!!! Think about all the progress youve made! Think about how GREAT it felt to hit that 50 lb mark!! When you find yourself going towards the cabinet---walk to the sink instead, you're probably just thirsty! Or even if you arent, a big glass of water and a 5 minute wait, the craving will pass! Remember that we are all here for you to talk to!
06-10-2004, 12:48 AM
Hang in there ~ don't give up. Look what you have accomplished already ~ you can do it some more. One day at a time!!
06-10-2004, 01:03 AM
Sherry, Dont give up! I know exactly where you are. Ive been there many times myself. Maybe coming here as much as you can and reading or journaling would help motivate you? Are you doing the june points challenge? That is really helping me stay on track. I also noticed you said that you eat if the scale goes up OR down. Is it possible you are scared of loosing more weight and the changes that it will bring in your life? Many times people have a hard time with change or gained weight as a way of insulating themselves from something. Its just a thought. I used to do that myself. Id weigh and then see the #'s go down and then Id binge. It is only this attempt that I have learned to watch out for that. I really got into the WHY of my weight gain this time.
06-10-2004, 04:00 AM
We're all saying it.....please, please don't give up! And don't don't don't don't give yourself a hard time about what you are going through - there are probably all kinds of things going on to make you feel the way you feel. I'm with Tammy - take some time to reflect on how you've managed to be so successful so far, and maybe what is triggering and sustaining this particular phase. Personally, I think we all have very good reasons to hang onto our weight - its a fantastic source of self-protection in some ways.....I'd also say treat yourself big time, and make sure the house is full of all your favourite healthy foods. And maybe just find a way to get back into it baby step style.......so pick one healthy habit to work on??? Is there any exercise that you enjoy doing?
Also, I would suggest that you stop jumping on and off that scale - it sounds like its becoming a way of punishing yourself. So keep posting, and let us know how your doing.....
06-10-2004, 10:12 AM
Sherry - we have been on the boards here together a long time. We both always hit rough spots, but there is a difference between us. When I hit a rough spot, boom - I gain it all back. Not you - you somehow manage to keep it together and get through the rough spot and move forward. I want you to look back at your past and figure out what got you through before. I can remember when you couldn't get past 40 lbs lost, now your at 50. I KNOW you can through this with flying colors!! You are a strong woman with determination. Just do it. Decide that today will be the day you get back on track!!
Sherry, find something in your house that weighs 50 lbs and carry it around with you for awhile. I'll bet you'll find that you don't want to gain back that 50 lbs. You've accomplished a lot and I'm sure that 50 lbs loss was the result of a lot of sweat and determination and pain. Do you really want to go through all that again? It's easy to eat the junk and forget the veggies and water and healthy eating. But in the long run you will pay for it, you are paying for it now by being miserable and worried about gaining back that weight. Don't do this to yourself okay? You've had a bit of a binge but it's time to pick yourself back up again and be the Sherry that lost 50 lbs and is going to keep losing more. Don't be the old Sherry with that 50 lbs weight around your neck.
06-10-2004, 12:58 PM
I'm right there with you, Sherry. And ditto to everything everyone else has said. Remember how well you've done! The hardest thing, IMHO, is to stop the behaviors that we've gotten ourselves into.
I'm wondering if you or anyone who is having motivational problems would like to join me in signing a contract for the next two or three weeks? I don't know about you, but I've found them very helpful for accountability. And being able to print it out, sign it, and look at it every day keeps me strong. In fact, it's a relief to get myself out of the hole I've dug, and back into eating well. Once I start abiding by my contract, it becomes a habit that I can usually carry on for even longer than the original time period. If anyone is interested, let me know, and I can post or PM what I've used.
Sheila, that contract sounds like a great idea!! Bring it on! I will post it on the fridge with my 'before' pictures and my eating plan.
06-10-2004, 10:44 PM
Okay, following a day where I ate 1/2 pint of lowfat frozen yogurt (in the old days it would have been a full pint of ice cream so I guess I'm making progress) because I'm having a bad pain day with no end in sight, I'm even more determined to get off this dang emotional eating roller coaster and get back to business for at least the next three weeks. Here's my contract with myself (with thanks to Oprah for the idea). I've done this twice in the past 1.5 years and it's worked to get me back on track.
I, ________________, will to the best of my ability make every effort to do the following for a period of three (3) weeks, beginning on
June 11, 2004 and ending on July 2, 2004:
1. Stay completely within my Points range [note: I'm a Weight Watcher].
2. Participate in regular exercise each day.
3. Eat three meals and two snacks per day.
4. Keep a daily journal of everything consumed and/or my emotional health.
5. Eat to satisfy my nutritional needs rather than my emotional needs.
6. Drink 7 glasses of water/decaf beverage each day.
7. Refrain from “grazing.”
8. Terminate all eating by 7:30 pm each night.
In addition, I will not allow myself to attempt to justify not following these rules. I will take complete control over what I put into my mouth, and not allow my emotions, other people or boredom to influence what I think I want. I will do this each and every day, not making excuses or giving myself any “free-for-all” days.
Furthermore, throughout all my years, I realize that I have rarely, if ever, been able to attain this level of focus for a continuous period of three or more weeks. I also realize that this contract is solely with myself and carries no rewards, penalties or punishments other than those associated with the reflection of the strength of my character.
06-11-2004, 12:29 AM
Come on Sherry, pull yourself together! I believe in you, I know you can do this.
06-11-2004, 01:11 AM
You are just in a slump, remember "baby steps". Each choice you make towards bettering your health is a positive one. Eating breakfast, drinking your water, moving your body, it will all add up to a great future for you! If you have it in you to dream, you have it in you to succeed. I wish you hope :)
I copied this from a post in the depression forum...
22 Reasons You Might Be Fat Forever.
1. You are still looking for a quick and easy solution to weight loss.
2. You think that diet and exercise are the only essential factors involved in weight loss.
3. You have not identified the psychological reasons that drive your eating patterns.
4. You have not learned to manage or heal the psychological reasons that drive your eating patterns.
5. You have a fear of or resistance to growing up and becoming a full adult.
6. You use food as a reward or a treat after any or all stressful events.
7. You think you can lose weight without making exercise a regular part of your day, every day.
8. You think you can lose weight by doing it “your way.”
9. You expect to lose weight without making significant lifestyle changes.
10. You refuse to learn to become a good receiver as well as a good giver.
11. You have never learned to be effectively and appropriately assertive.
12. You have not learned to express your anger in a healthy, honest fashion.
13. You have not learned to be self-nurturing except with food.
14. You are excessively self-critical.
15. You refuse to take responsibility for your life.
16. You resist learning to love yourself.
17. You resist learning to love your body before it is thin.
18. You have not faced your inner fears of being thin.
19. You are certain that spirituality (a connection to a force greater than you) is irrelevant to weight loss.
20. You think you can lose significant weight without the support of others.
21. You have deep emotional wounds that you refuse to explore and heal.
22. You are not prepared to have weight be an issue that you will have to face each and every day for the rest of your life.
OK, now you have some incredibly important information about yourself and the things that are blocking your weight loss. You now have a choice. You can get depressed and go into avoidance or denial, or you can choose to make a renewed and informed commitment to your growth and well-being. The decision you make could change your life and your body for good!
Matthew Anderson, D. Min., is a counselor, organizational consultant, seminar leader and the author of books and tapes that can help you overcome your obstacles to well-being.
06-11-2004, 02:21 PM
Hey chickie! Everybody's got such great advice. . .slumps do come and go, I've just come out of one myself, even though I'm still struggling. Even though I'm not back to "perfect" (see, there goes my all-or-nothing thinking) I am better. And just being "better" can still result in pounds lost.
Re-anchor yourself into whatever it was that was your "click" to get going the first time, and since you have good patterns already established and you know what they are and how they work, they will eventually come back to you. It did for me. . .you CAN DO THIS!!! Hugs!!!
Sheila, I printed out your contract and I'm going to post it on the fridge beside my 'before' pictures. I really want to succeed and I think 2004 is going to be the year! Thanks so much for posting that.
06-12-2004, 01:49 AM
Sherry - DON"T GIVE UP! I almost have sooo many times, and it just keeps coming back to me how freakin' depressed I am... The key is you're here so you don't want to give up.. Same as myself.. I've been lurking back around here for 2 months and still haven't got off my fat a** to get back on track... but its time.. If you want, we can do this together... I'm ready to jump right back in.. And remember, the key is when you do slip and have a bad day/meal - DON'T GIVE UP! There's little bumps in every aspect of life and you just need to hop over them quickly... :)