[Cinnymamma]

::::::SIGH::::::::: It's me whining and complaining again right? I should be totally happy. I lost 5lbs last week and must have lost some inches too because my pants are looser and my body parts are changing. Unfortunatly they seem to be changing for the worst.

I was in the bathroom today and my thighs caught my eye. OMG they look totally gross! Like blotchy and just globs of fat. It looks all loose and jiggly now and I am totally depressed about it. I don't care about my stomach getting looser and flabbier. I can cover that up and fix it when I am done having kids. BUT, I can't wear pants and long sleeves my whole life!!!!

I feel like all my worst fears are coming true about being a skinny chick with all this extra loose skin hanging who looks worse after she lost the weight then before when she was fat!

I just don't understand it. I have been excersizing my butt off. Especially in the leg area. Walking is something I dofor excersize every day. regardless of Tae Bo or whatever other activity. UGh, I don't know if this depression is because TOM should be starting soon or if I really am this depressed about it. I just wanted to cry all day. I feel like its not even worth it. That maybe I should just eat what I want and get full body lipo and tucks or something later and fix it all at once.

I am tight on cash until saturday and there is like no food here that *I* can eat. Plenty of other stuff, but nothing Atkins. I don't know if I even have enough to last me until Sat. I am getting dangerously close to a binge and it would be so easy too.

I just can't believe everything is already turning so gross looking.

Anyways, I have *****ed long enough. I know there are plenty of things out there that are worse than this. I am sorry to bring everyone down. I just wanted to get it out instead of eating it in. Hopefully this will keep me on the course and its just TOM although I am never very emotional during TOM.

Who knows? If you made it this far, well you deserve an award.

[lady_adnerb]

Randi, if you can't "complain" to us who CAN you complain to? We're the few people on earth that truly understand what you're going through. I don't have words of wisdom.. and I'm not good and comfort words. But if you need an ear just remember we're all here. Or if you wanna pm me that works also. Or email. I'm always willing to listen.

[jane8760]

Oh Randi...I am so sorry you feel this bad. Don't ever worry about complaining to us. That is what we are here for. To listen in good times and bad.

I know how you feel a little bit about the mirror. Imagine this.....my condo has a huge master bedroom with a huge open master bath almost right there in the room! No doors.....my mother is appauled Anyway.....there is one closet on my husbands side and two closets on my side. Each has mirrored doors...much to my dismay.....each vanity has a huge mirror over it as well...so image walking around naked into this room and THERE YOU ARE! Turn around and THERE YOU ARE! Take a shower...in the glass shower stall surrounded by mirrors....AND THERE YOU ARE!

All I do is see myself and sometimes it just drives me crazy. I keep looking at the fat around my stomach, the chunks of fat still hanging onto my hips, the fact that my thighs touch, the wrinkles under my eyes ...OYE!
I wonder sometimes, when will I look in these mirrors and like what I see?

I want you to keep losing the weight and don't worry about the skin....it will probably tighten up a bit as more weight comes off. Or like you said, you can always get it fixed when you are slimmer. I have a brother that is 6'3" and weighed over 250 and lost weight and got down to 190 and hasn't gained a pound back in over 19 years. He still has some skin around his stomach but he doesn't care. In clothes he looks fabulous...you should see his suits.....but the main thing is that he is healthier for it all. You will be too.

Go to the store and stock up on whatever you can that is legal to get you through this. Vegetables are cheap enough. Buy some cheese.....that really gets me through some rough spots. Check out the sales.

Please don't cry.

[marie.]

Randi- 2 years ago before Dale came from Nashville I had been going to the gym everyday...about 2 month after I started I said the exact thing to my gym partner...I looked WORSE! All flabby and cellulitey ( is that a word?) she told me ( shes a buff little power lifter-argh!) that skin takes about twice as long to tighten up as weight loss takes to achieve...and she was right! after about 6 month it started to go back...and in less than 8 I didnt look quite like a...what are they called? shar'pe? (sp) dog any more

[Leenie]

Randi sweetie don't give up, remember you are striving to be healthy as well. I think this early in the game its gonna be hard to tell how your body is going to shape up. It could be that you are just doing the wrong exercise. If you go on the weight lifting exercise boards there's Mrs Jim and Meg that could help you with ooooooodles of information. Just read how far they have come, you'll be amazed.

Its amazing you can see a change w/5 lbs gone, I can't seem to see a change w/30 lbs gone lol.

Hang in there lady, its a battle worth fighting for.

Hugs

[StarPrincess]

It really does get better! The skin takes time, and the way we see and feel about our bodies can take even more time, but it does get better!

[Cinnymamma]

Thanks everyone. I needed the laughs. I DO feel better today. My DH was a boxing trainer so I talked to him last night about it too. He said the same thing you guys have. That it looks like this now because all the fat is breaking up and loosening up and that it will go away too. I think TOM coming on had a bit to do with these feelings too. Just one of those months I guess.

Thankyou all so much for listening to me and being there. I hate putting things out on the internet and revealing my feelings for myself regarding my body. With you guys I am not so repressed about it. I really appreciate that and am very thankful for it.

Thanks for making me feel better. I am going to work through it and do the best I can. I would rather be skinny and fixable (if thats what it comes down too) then fat and unhealthy. Besides I love the energy that I have now and the fact that I get up off my butt and DO things outdoors and what not. I am even thinking of signing up for the Race for the Cure and another bike race here in May for diabetes.

[StarPrincess]

I'm so glad you're feeling better! We all have our moments, don't we?

[Laneebm]

Hey ladies, I know the feeling. I get depressed alot lately myself. Although I suffer from major depression. And then, I have a teenager that hates school.etc.. I feel pretty down today. But then again, with reason.. Hope you all are feeling well. And that ya'll day goes well. Hugs, Lanee..