OK I am going to make this simple and just paste my journal entry from today here. But today I guess I had a type of 'breakthrough' and I thought we could make a 'breakthrough' thread. Share steps and ideas to help each other through this path in life. This can be a confessional, just as much as a means to change these patterns of thinking. Our own little Mental Cell Block.
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Well yesterday was one of those days that I threw diet to the wind. After 2 weeks of Phase 1 on SBD, I 'treated' myself...and DID I.
OK I am feeling guilty, BUT I know I can go back on the diet with renewed vigor. I have been eating right, water, etc and I just said...OK Babe lets do this evil thing and get it over with. I ate a large salad with tuna....not bad!!!!...ok I followed that with one slice of cheese pizza....weeeelllll, not AWFUL.......but THEN I ate 3 garlic bread knots....*gasp*.......and THEN I ate 4 Fig newtons. Not all at the same time mind you, but over a span of 4-5 hours.
Where were the healthy skim cheese sticks? **** if I know. The funny thing was, after I ate the pizza and bread, I felt heavy. I cannot think how I used to be able to eat a half a pizza with no problem! I also had heartburn....So what does all this mean to me....well...welcome to my mind
((((((( dream fade to Wonderland..well a little more twisted than that, but..just follow me, you won't be harmed...just don't touch the midget)))))))
Ah, here we are in my Mind. To me I concluded several things from my 'binge'.
1. If you have a craving, consider the consequences.
I am not referring to just blowing a diet and getting the feelings of failure......but what this craving can mean to your new way of eating. I found the Pizza very salty. The Newtons too sweet. After eating fresh veggies and healthy foods, my palate had a hard time with the 'bad' foods. So now I have an option......
2. Do I continue eating these bad things?
Since I seemed to REALLY eat them more out of PAST desires of enjoying them and the HABIT of eating them, do I make the effort to change that habit? I am opting for Yes. This is a PAST eating pattern. One that not only made me overweight, but unhealthy and unhappy. I have learned to enjoy the organic flavors of veggies, eliminate the NEED for breads and pastas. (My WANTS are still the patterns of old HABITS) And learned that enjoying foods that are not processed, coated with oil and fried makes me feel much better overall. Now the next step....
3. Breaking old habits. Compromise. It is my weakness when it comes to food. See I will compromise to MYSELF when it comes to dieting (which I will no longer call dieting, but Living) I say to myself, 'I will eat this donut , instead of the ice cream, and later I will eat a salad with no dressing'. See the coersion? I am bribing myself!!! I have kept MYSELF captive all this time. Well Warden I am taking your keys, B**CH!! I will learn how to unlock each door to freedom until I reach the 'outside'.
((((time warping you back to your own world)))))
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