Support Groups - Should I go grey?

View Full Version : Should I go grey?

03-25-2004, 09:33 AM

I have been dying my hair since I was 23. That's when my first few grey hairs showed up. Now I am 50. I always said when I was 50, or got my first grandchild, I would let my hair go. But I keep on dying the roots every 4-6 weeks and it is a pain in the butt. (Sometimes with a stylist, sometimes DD does this for me.)

I know I would look older being grey, and I am not sure how I'd feel about that... for the record, my DH is 10 years older than me, and totally grey.

What would you do?


03-25-2004, 11:31 AM
On my 30th birthday, I looked in the mirror and saw SIX gray hairs. I thought to myself, well, this is the moment of truth. I can:

1. Start dyeing my hair (with my long curly hair I didn't relish that thought), or
2. Wear them proudly as a badge of wisdom and honor, or
3. Pull them out.

I pulled them out.

Now that I'm 40, there are too many to pull out. They all seem to be centered right on top, in my part and in my bangs, in the most noticeable place, of course. I started coloring my hair a few years ago, trying to stay as close to my natural color as possible (kind of the reddish brown of an old penny). I get very sloppy and lazy, and only bother coloring maybe every 3 months, but it's not too obvious when it grows out since it's so close to my natural color. I hate using color on my hair, since it's so long -- read "dead and fragile" -- anyway. Wish I could just do the roots, but I'm not that talented.

Should you go gray? I would say you have to weigh how much of a hassle it is to color your hair vs how much you don't like the way your hair looks gray. If you can learn to live with -- even love :love: your gray, then set yourself free!!! :angel: :dance: But if having gray makes you feel unhappy or tired or old or whatever, then keep coloring if it makes you feel better about yourself.

Not much help, huh? :shrug: :dizzy:

03-25-2004, 01:15 PM
I've got gray hair that has started coming when I was about 25 or so....and just lately I've noticed there are more of it than I'm happy with. But for now.... I'm leaving it as is. (plus, James doesn't want to see me dye my hair, I think he may have some kind of horrible vision in his mind!) :D

So.....should you dye your hair?

That is completely up to how you feel about it all. Just because you said when you reach 50 you will let your hair go doesn't mean you have the time that you reached 50, things change and so do thoughts and idea's.

So, if you really don't mind the idea of letting it all go natural, I say go for it. You may not look as old as you think you will, you would just have to wait and see. Some woman look even more beautiful with the natural gray. (And you ARE a beautiful woman already so just imagine!)

But, if you can't stand the idea of letting it go all natural just yet, and you really don't mind going in to have it done, I see no harm in that either. You're doing something to make YOU feel good. Kind of like spending a day doing a ME thing.

I'm sure I didn't help with your question but I thought I would let you know what I thought.

Let us know what you decided to do.


03-25-2004, 03:49 PM
My you ladies have greyed at an early age. I didn't start noticing grey hairs till I was 40 and it was just a few. I too just pulled them out. Of course my brother was almost totally grey at the ripe old age of 23.

Jana~that is a toughie...:chin:

I had said a few years ago when I went natural that when the majority of my hair turned grey I was going to let it. I saw some really silver/grey hair dyes that I thought would fancy the grey up. I never put an age on this decision, just thought I would grey gracefully. Of course that was 2 years ago and I have since started dying my hair again. But I don't do it often-my grey is not so bad that I need to do the roots every six weeks so I will go months without dyeing it, and I stick to a color that is so close to my own, just a tad lighter. I do admit it does get to be a pain but I think I will probably to some extent color my hair. Of course I do it for a change not because of the grey. I get a little bit of grey at the crown and a little at the front where my bangs are. But with my hair being the color (before dyeing) it is it just kind of blends in. I get a lot of highlights being in the sun.

I just think it is a personal preference, whether you want to keep dyeing or if you want to stop. I honestly don't think it will make you look older-it's all in the cut and the face and I think you have a young looking face. :)

03-25-2004, 04:21 PM
I hope you dont mind my 2cents.......I seen this topic and its been something Ive been tossing around as well.

Im 39, and I have a lovely patch right in the front middle of my now, men look at my grey rather than my clevage. Im not so sure Im liking that :lol: Anyway, every time I have coloured my hair, its never the colour I wanted, and I cant seem to get it close to my own shade. I have very very dark brown hair, but its not black, with ash tones to it. I love the colour, but hate the dye shades.

Im rambling arent I? What Ive done is let it go.....Im still not sure I like it, hubby doesnt care one way or another. I put up with the jibes from my dad and brother, because thats just their jobs!! But so far, Im liking it. It doesnt make me look older, mind you it doesnt make me look younger either.

So, why not grow it out and see if you like can always go back to dying it.

Robin :wave:

03-25-2004, 05:13 PM
Well Im 53 and just had the first grand child presented to me 6
months ago... :D

and I wouldn't dream of not dying my hair. Not so much for the
gray coverage. More for the boredom factor. I like different
colors and looks for the two major seasons we have here.
Early/Late Summer and Winter. More red in winter, more light
brown with blonde highlights in summer.

Another thing to keep in mind. Gray hair has a completely
different texture then either natural hair or dyed hair. It
can be a challenge. Also if the hair in question is straight
with minimal body/curl/wave and fine, each and every cut
of the scissors is going to show. Really Really Show. You'll
need a stylist that understands that and is capable of not
whacking away willy nilly hoping for the best.

Tough call for sure. While Im reasonable positive my hair will
continue having something semi obnoxious done to it till Im
well into my 90's, not everyone feels that way.

I totally respect that. :D


03-25-2004, 09:50 PM
Awww, thanks for the kind words.... I am not sure what to do. I bought the dye, but haven't used it yet...... :D


03-27-2004, 03:06 PM
Jana I think you need to do what makes you happy but you need to go grey first then decide I was content on letting myhair go natural but hubby wanted it colored again so did it to please him so for now I will keep it colored until I get into one of my moods and will let it grow out Rita

03-27-2004, 05:24 PM
Jana~I thought of you yesterday while skimming through my magazine, First for Women. There was a woman who talked about going grey and she looked beautiful! She had started to get grey at an early age also and over the years dyed her hair. Then decided she had enough and just went grey. Like I said I think it is a personal preference, but not all people who go grey look older. I sure didn't think she did.

So have you decided or are ya still thinking about it? Or will you be thinking about it for a while.:)

03-27-2004, 10:46 PM
I caved! My hair color is now L'oreal #6A, Light Ash Brown, the same color I've been doing for years.

My hair stylist says I have quite a bit of dark hair left on the back of my head, but I know the front and temple areas would be really grey. I just can't picture it.....