100 lb. Club - Chit Chat starting 3/15




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gonzostar
03-15-2004, 10:50 AM
just a quick post from me - i'm on day 25 today! but i hate that i haven't been able to work out for almost a week. since the accident. i really messed up my back, lots of pain. i have cooking class tonight, but tomorrow after work i'm going to the Y to see what i can handle.

i have to bug my insurance today, because we found a new car that we want to buy and we put a deposit on it but it can't hold forever. wish us luck!


Jen
03-15-2004, 11:55 AM
Hi all. I didn't want to start a new thread about this but I did want to post on it. I thought I had hit the lowest I could go but these past few days I have really felt my weight catching up with my health. It had always seemed to me that when I was younger that it didn't matter that I was overweight, I was still relatively healthy but lately I don't feel that it is true anymore (not that it really was to begin with). I've known and have seen first hand what I will be like 30 or 40 years from now if I don't lose the weight but I'm starting to feel like that now. Then the other night I was taking a good look at myself sans clothes and I didn't like what I saw. I have a big abdominal fold and I lifted it up and saw the skin underneath was a funny colour and looked kind of rashy. That really did me in. I was right grossed out by that. I don't know how I let myself get into this shape. I'm trying to think back to a time when I was happy and proud of how I looked and I can't think of such a time. Please don't anyone post back that I should be happy with myself no matter how I look. It isn't a matter of not loving myself. I know I am a great person and so on but let's face facts, I look terrible. I've done terrible things to my body and it's really telling me so now. I'm losing weight slowly, slowly so I"m not upset about that. I really think I will finally get the weight off this time. Just needed to vent. Thanks everyone. Have a great day!

dowsx4
03-15-2004, 12:32 PM
Jen I really understand where you are comming from. I feel the same way when i look in the mirror. Everyone else tells me i look great but i dont like to see what i have done to my body. Vent any time you like.


Step
03-15-2004, 12:47 PM
Jen, nothing wrong w/ venting. ((hugs)) I hear you about the "how did I let this happen"?!? The thing I've decided, is that it just doesn't matter HOW it happened, the important thing is to look ahead and make your latest "get healthy" resolutions happen. As long as you are losing, it doesn't matter at what speed ....

I've lost a little weight and some of my newest (read, 'biggest') clothes were getting TOO loose and lots of my uncomfortably tight clothes were once again moving into the rotation ... I was feeling pretty good about myself ... until last week when I took my kids to the Children's Museum and caught a look at myself on video. ARRRRRRRGHH!!!!!!!!!! I've got a LOT farther to go ... but go I will, one step at a time ... please take these steps with me.

lessofsarahtolove
03-15-2004, 01:08 PM
Jen, I can completely relate. When I really look at my body, I'm just amazed that I let myself reach this point, and I wonder how I couldn't have recognized sooner that some kind of intervention or action needed to take place.....before I got into this condition. The denial I must have been in just boggles my mind. :?: But here I am, and here we are.

What I'm really making an effort to do is to take that pain and bewilderment and channel it into motivation. It was just a "alright, you can beat yourself up for getting to this state, Sarah, and concentrate on how disgusting you think you are now, or you can just suck it up and do something about it." That got me started. Now, after having lost some of it, and feeling really, really proud of my initial progress, my focus and my discipline, my feelings are usually different when I look at my naked body. I'm still not liking what I see by any means, but I'm really trying to view it as a work in progress, and what I feel is not so painful as before, since I know I'm headed in the right direction and have regained control over where my body will take me. There's me, and then there's my body. Currently, I'm stronger than it is, and despite my stomach's size, I'm going to kick its ***!! So there's my feeling a separation from my body, and then there's also a feeling of connectedness and responsibility, since it has housed something in me that caused me to eat until I reached this point. I know how, but WHY did I do this to myself? It's important for me to know. It's not something my body did to me, so I have no business hating it. I did it to my body, and now I need to take responsibility for my body's health, and ability to sustain the parts of me that I more happily and readily own and think identify me: my heart, my mind, and my soul. And I'm trying to stay motivated by the moments -- the small victories -- rather than getting overwhelmed by the long journey ahead of me.

I'm not sure if any of this resonates with you, Jen, but it's how I'm dealing in the healthiest way I know how with those folds I see in the mirror too.

I wish you comfort and peace, and just a little more self-forgiveness.

All the best to you, sweetie. :)

chequitagirl
03-15-2004, 02:13 PM
just a quick post for me. fingers crossed for the car holly. i hope everyone had a great weekend. wi showed a 1 lb. gain for the week, but oh well, that's the weigh the scale goes. my weekend was great. went to visit family in alabama and had a great time. hope everyone has an op week.

Jennelle
03-15-2004, 04:44 PM
Okay...my new favorite movie quote...from "Romy and Michelle's High School Reunion" :

Romy: I can't believe I've been dieting for two weeks and I GAINED a pound!

Michelle: Did you remember to take off 16 pounds for your shoes?

OMG, I thought I was going to die laughing! :rofl:

boiaby
03-15-2004, 05:47 PM
Holly- Take it easy girl, but good for you for wanted to get right back with it.

Jen- Accepting what I've done to my poor body has been a hard one for me too. I want to whine and complain and say its unfair that I worked so hard to take off all this weight and now I'm left with a bunch of saggy, wrinkly skin. But the truth is that I did this to myself and now I just have to live with it. I'm trying not to get caught up in the "only if's..." because that doesn't help anything and won't change what I've done. It's just really hard to own up to the fact that I will never have a regular 27 year old's body because of my lifetime of bad habits. I'm trying to remember that I am now healthier than I have ever been in my life and that I will never, ever do this to myself again! Just keep up the good work and remember that at least you're doing something about this now. You'll be so glad you did instead of waking up years from now just wishing you had done something about it. Good luck!

Beverly

gonzostar
03-15-2004, 08:44 PM
guess what guys? i was missing exercise (what?? am i sick??) so since i went home a little early i squeezed in a workout before cooking class! i feel so awesome and proud. =)

do any of you like to read weight loss blogs? i love reading them, seeing pictures, etc. anyways, there's this cool "portal" thing a blogger made that lists all sorts of blogs and seperates them into categories (ww, atkins, low calorie, 12 step, south beach, etc) so you can find ones that you can relate to. i think it's awesome and you should check it out. and if you have your own site, stick it on there!

here's the link:

http://www.skinnykat.com/images/fitbutton.jpg (http://www.skinnykat.com/link/cgi/in.cgi?id=58)

happy monday!

AngiKL
03-15-2004, 11:32 PM
Hi everyone! Holly, when will you find out about the car?

Hugs to you Jen!

Hope everyone is well! I am lingering in between food plans again. . .Atkins stalled out when I got Strep and had some chicken noodle soup. Guess I loved those noodles a little too much!

Jen
03-16-2004, 10:10 AM
Hey all, thanks for everyone's kind thoughts. I really feel like I am making some progress and that this is going to be the time that I take the weight off for good. I did some bike riding yesterday but only about 20 minutes because the last time I tried 40 minutes worth my knees were killing me for days. It has been difficult coming to the realization that I am so out of shape but I am making some positive steps in changing my lifestyle.

I thought winter was over and here we are supposed to be getting another snowstorm today. I hope it isn't going to be the 15cm they are talking about but seeing as we haven't had any snow that stayed for more than a few hours in weeks I guess we are due. Apparently it is supposed to warm up this weekend so I imagine we'll get a ton of snow and then it will all melt in a couple of days.

Take care everyone, have a great day!

terrific pig
03-16-2004, 07:26 PM
..."a big abdominal fold"... I never quite knew what to call that thing - thanks for putting a name to it!!!LOL

I'm certainly not making light of your post, Jen. Please know that you're not the only one who has the kind of feelings you describe. Sometimes my excess weight makes me feel so much older than I am - aching knees, feet and back. But we're working to change that. Weight, it seems, is a lot harder to take off than it is to put on!!

Charbar
03-16-2004, 07:35 PM
Greetings all.. I'm here.. just reading posts. Not really doing anything with this diet right now.... drives me crazy that I have zero drive!

All of you are doing so awesome.

Jen - girl, I feel you .. I could have written your message! Hugs to you girl!

Sarah - I agree with you when you said "how did I let myself get to THIS point" man, you nailed that on the head. You'd think I would have more respect for my body then this, right?
I have lots of light bulb moments - which is good - then the light goes back out again :lol: I need motivation to last longer then 5 minutes ;)

I just wanted to tell you all that I love you :love: and that you really are some of the best people in the world.

Dana

Jen
03-17-2004, 12:01 PM
Mary, I could have called it my big gut that hangs over :) but abdominal fold doesn't sound quite so disgusting!

missaprylj
03-17-2004, 10:37 PM
Hey,
Just got back from my first trip to NYC. (Was there Saturday-Tuesday) and it was A-W-E-S-O-M-E. I never wanted to come home.... we went to the Statue of Liberty, Ellis Island, Ground Zero, Rockefeller Center, United Nations Headquarters, Radio City Music Hall, Times Square, Phantom of the Opera on Broadway, Central Park, a tour of Harlem, NBC Studios, we were on the Today Show, I ate at Dean & DeLuca's, Shopping on 5th Avenue, Hard Rock Cafe, Planet Hollywood, A Medieval Times dinner/tournament, shopping at the South Street Sea Port, the Lincoln Center, the Empire State Building, St. Patrick's Cathedral, St. Paul's Cathedral... it was like.... too much.

I LOVE NEW YORK!

gonzostar
03-17-2004, 11:12 PM
we got a new car!! yay us! it's a 99 saturn wagon with only 22,000 miles on it. amazing, huh?

went to the ymca tonight and i feel good about myself. also i lost 1 more this week. only 2 more until i can start chipping away at virgin territory!

Charbar
03-18-2004, 07:41 AM
Congrats on the new car Holly - you will feel like your life is getting back together again :) What colour is the car?

My longaberger business is not going to well. I am starting to wonder why I started this? I think I did it for the wrong reason - I just wanted the discount for myself.

Diet is going not too bad this week. The weater is starting to warm (just a little) so I am outside more.

April - I have never been to NYC - big difference from Wisconsin, eh? Sounds like you had an amazing time!!!

gonzostar
03-18-2004, 10:44 AM
our new car is white. here, have a look see:

http://gonzostar.diaryland.com/images/99wagon.jpg

Jillegal
03-18-2004, 10:46 AM
Sounds like you had a blast Apryl - I'm so glad you enjoyed yourself and have great memories of your best ever trip (until you go to Spain, that is) ;)

Step
03-18-2004, 12:49 PM
Wow Apryl, you did a LOT in a relatively short time. I absolutely LOVE Ellis Island ... like the looks of the buildings and the "hope" they represented to so many people ... including my own grandfather (who died when my Mom was only 7) who came through Ellis Island when he was about 14.

chequitagirl
03-18-2004, 12:58 PM
great car holly. congrats on the loss. everything going great on this end. hope everyone is having a great thursday.

lessofsarahtolove
03-18-2004, 01:08 PM
I LOVE NEW YORK!

Apryl, I do too!! That's my hometown! Did you make it to Chelsea? It's a beautiful neighborhood on the lower west side, right next to the West Village. Sigh. You made me homesick. And now, of course, I'm wanting a slice of NY Pizza! :devil: That's ok, I'll just have my lovely spicy tilapia, brown rice, spinach salad w/reduced fat feta, and fresh blueberries. That pizza will have to wait for another day. ;)

I really do miss my beloved city though.

lessofsarahtolove
03-18-2004, 01:10 PM
Holly the car looks great! I just got a new car myself -- a 2004 Toyota Camry SE (the sporty model) with a GPS....that satellite system that allows you to navigate from any point. I love it!

I like your car very much....it's a sporty one too! Congrat's!

Jillegal
03-18-2004, 01:39 PM
I don't know what looks better Holly - the snazzy new car, the cute guy sitting on the hood, or the bright, warm, sunny, greenery (arghhhh....where are my snowshoes??)

looosingit
03-18-2004, 05:06 PM
Too funny Jillegal! That was my response too....Cute car, cute boy....What no snow??? The world is so unfair some days....

Holly - Enjoy the cute car, cute boy AND the beautiful weather!

Apryl - Glad to hear that you had a good time in NYC! That sounds like a pretty packed trip. I went on a "girls" trip with my mother & sister last Fall. I absolutely fell in LOVE with NY and am anxious to go back. We didn't see half as many things as you....got side-tracked by all of the great shopping! ;)

I start my running course tomorrow! I'm excited and nervous....

Jennelle
03-18-2004, 06:14 PM
Well, I missed the whole New York thing! Sounds like you had fun though, Apryl! :)

Holly....*sigh*...that picture looks like home! (Of course, my mom lives about 15 miles from you! :lol: )

missaprylj
03-18-2004, 07:04 PM
Yeah... and is David wearing a t-shirt?

I'm looking out the window at the snow!!! Can someone say, "jealous?" :D

The trip was awesome... now I'm hoping my trip to Spain doesn't get cancelled. :(

gonzostar
03-19-2004, 10:44 AM
... and is David wearing a t-shirt?

yes he is. and today, i'm wearing.... flip flops! well, and a sweater since it's 7:45 am. but that will come off later. not quite shorts weather yet, i've got on khakis.

i didn't realize it would make you guys all jealous! we have a little warm streak going that's not even normal for CA, so i'm trying to enjoy it as much as i can (although i am stuck in an office all day).

so jenelle, when you come home to see your mom, can we do lunch? well, fat-free lunch that is? :P

Sandi
03-19-2004, 10:50 AM
TGIF Everyone!! I am still not well. My upper respitory infection has moved into my sinus. I have a doctor's appointment today, although I am not sure what he can do for me other than antibiotic.

Food hasn't been great, but I feel so crappy that I don't think I have been over-eating. I am hoping to feel good enough by Monday to get back to my program. Last Saturday I met witha trainer. It was a VERY enlightening session. Basically she said, MORE CARDIO!!!! She helped me trim my Tues/Thurs weight sessions (which were taking me 50 min) so that I will have time for 30 min of cardio 1st (which I wasn't doing, didn't have time). Then she figured out my target heart rate range and helped me realize that even when I was doing cardio, I wasn't giving it enough. For example, it took a speed of 3.4 on the treadmill to get me to the low end of my target. A normal treadmill speed for me is 2.4. So I get to keep the weights, and now be more likely to hit my goal of 6 days of cardio. Should be interesting.
I liked her. She is very fit, but still kind of a normal person. I think that's more realistic for me instead of the chiseled goddess I always picture in my head.

Holly - You new car is GREAT!! I am so glad that everything worked out for you. I too am a bit jealous of the T-shirt weather!! Snowed here yesterday!

Jen - Somewhere along this journey, I started referring to my "abdominal fold" as my apron. Not a great term, but then is there a good term for that. When I sit on my bed, sans clothes, is when it hits me the most. Who is this person and why do you let her stay???

Step - Isn't funny that even though we make progress, sometimes when we get a glimpse of how far we still have to go, it just drives you crazy. It's a long road - but we'll get there...together!! Any improvement is just that...an improvement!!!

Sarah - It sounds like you are on the right track with your thinking. Good for you!!!

Beverly - Your 27?? Now I'm even more impressed. To be so young and lost your weight. That is so great!!!! I only wish that I had gotten my act together 10 years ago.

Dana - We love you too!!! My best advice to you is...get back to the Y. I really think that would get you back on track!!

Apryl - sounds like you had a blast!!! Good to see you back - I missed you!! Why would spain get cancelled??

Loosingit - good luck on your running course! Can you share some details??

Hope everyone has a great weekend! I better get back to work!

Hi to everyone else!!!! :wave:

chequitagirl
03-19-2004, 11:10 AM
sandi glad you are feeling a little bit better. praying for a full recovery. take it easy over the weekend. hugs to everyone and i hope you all have a great weekend.

looosingit
03-19-2004, 12:46 PM
Sandi - glad to hear that you are feeling a bit better. Hope that the doctor can suggest something that can speed up the recovery!

Holly - Get out there and enjoy the great weather enough for the rest of us! We'll live vicariously through your flip flops!

Apryl - What's this about Spain being cancelled??? I'm looking forward to hearing all of the details of your trip....thought that I might live vicariously through your travel....(I know that YOUR trip being cancelled isn't all about MY disappointment!) ;) So dish....

Sandi - I'm taking a beginner (BEGINNER) running course with "The Running Room". In 10 weeks I should be able to run a 5km race. I have a mild hip dysplasia, so I have never been able to get into the swing of running on my own....but am thinking that maybe I have just pushed myself into running too quickly in the past (I'm not a terribly patient person...). I am hoping that by easing into running with trainers and other runners, I'll be able to pick it up! My cousin ran a marathon last year...and I was so moved to see all of those people out there pushing their bodies to the limit. I think that it is amazing that people can train their bodies to do athletic things....CRAZY - but the thought that I could train my body to do something like that had never occured to me before I saw that marathon. At any rate - I figure that I'll try it for the next 10 weeks and see how it goes....maybe I'll work my way up to a 10 kilometre race next time!

Hang in there Jillegal - spring has got to make its way north some time soon!

Have a good weekend ladies & gents!

Jillegal
03-19-2004, 02:05 PM
Hey Kris, do you remember my thread back in the summer about my amazing former couch-potato friend Lisa who ran her first marathon at the age of 40? Well, she started by joining "The Running Room" too and went from running one minute, walking five minutes (almost dying with the effort) to doing her first 5km, then a 10km and finally that wonderful Toronto Harbourfront marathon. She finished in less than 4 hours and I'll never forget her actually sprinting across the line pumping her fists wildly. She's inspired so many at our Weight Watchers group that 11 people have joined the local Running Room because of her (I think she deserves a kick-back from them). Oh yeah, and she lost over 50lbs. too! Fair warning, I'm expecting the same sort of results from you! :D

looosingit
03-19-2004, 03:21 PM
Hey...that would be GREAT! Thanks for the inspiring story! Especially since I am a bit nervous about going to my first session....

Hey at least the sun is out and the temperature is above zero. Hoora!

Have a great weekend all!

missaprylj
03-19-2004, 06:09 PM
Well, with the bombing and all, some parents might freak out.

And, of course, there's the U.S. Dept. of State..... ;)

God I hope we can still go! It's like been my whole life for the last year. :)

HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND YA'LL!

gonzostar
03-19-2004, 11:54 PM
It's just really hard to own up to the fact that I will never have a regular 27 year old's body because of my lifetime of bad habits.

i second this (i'm 23) and i'll raise you with the comment that some members say, "i want the body i had in my 20's!" that won't be me, i want anything but what i had in my 20s. i've never gotten to live it up and be sexy and skinny. i hope to be able to work with what i have when i'm done, though.