Weight Loss Support - So Ashame And Crying All Night
02-07-2004, 11:22 AM
Oh my i know some of you will laugh and its ok. but i been crying all night, last night i was sitting on the corner of my son's bed watching cable (he has the cable box in his room) i was there for a few hours then i started to hear a cracking noise i thought it was the heat turning on but then it sound to weird next thing i know the d*mned bed went through the floor i was screaming for my 16 and all he keept saying was ok ok i'll be there i was like the f'n bed went through the floor, he was laughing so hard and my 5 yr old too. i laughed but then i started to cry i now i'm a big fat pc of sh*t now thats 100% for sure, i been so upset i weight in today and it shows 258lbs i'm down some but still to fat, i don't know what to tell the landlord about the floor i don't want him to know the truth, i'm telling you all so you'll can yell at me and if you have to laugh do so i need a good kick in the butt and lose this fr'n weight, please help me i don't know what to do. I live in a townhouse and this two yrs ago the it was remodel. the floors had carpet wich was taken off everything was changed, kitchen,bath,bdrooms. I just sat here right know and a cups of oatmeal with tons of sugar and three sl of reg bread, d. coke i just want to eat i'm still cring.
02-07-2004, 11:28 AM
I have had similar experiences.In the summer I broke 2 plastic lawn chairs by sitting in them and I felt like crying when you know that everyone sees you sitting on the ground because the chairs wont hold you,It is embarassing and humiliating to be afraid to break the furniture.As far as the floor goes,that will be hard to explain without telling him what happened.Sorry I couldnt be more help
02-07-2004, 03:53 PM
please don't beat yourself up......you are making progress! Look at what you've already accomplished. You've lost 7lbs. :cheer: Way to go! I don't know what to tell you about the damage but remember: "and this too shall pass." Keep your chin up and know that you can do this!
02-07-2004, 04:05 PM
Standard floors do not break from a bed with one person on it. YOU DID NOT BREAK THE FLOOR!! There had to be some kind of defect or weakness. The hole in the floor has really upset you because you blame it on what you weigh. I think you should separate the two things. First, the floor is on problem. Second, your not being satisfied with your current weight is another. The weight issue you are already trying to handle. You said you were already down some- just keep up the good work. The floor needs to be investigated too. You could have termites eating away below were the bed was. Donít be afraid to tell the land lord. It is her/his job to investigate things. I would tell her/him that I do not feel comfortable when a bed can open up a hole and I am afraid for the safety of the kids. It is their job to keep your home safe.
The stress from the hole in the floor may be why you are thinking about eating a bigger than usual breakfast. I would go on and have a good cry, go for a quick walk and then call the landlord. Good luckÖ.
02-07-2004, 04:06 PM
This is just not your fault at all. I've been a carpenter/contractor, and I'm very familiar with building codes. This should never have happened because a floor is supposed to be designed and built to withstand much higher weights than you have put on it. Just imagine a man standing there, maybe 6'6" and weighing the same as you. You wouldn't expect the floor to cave in just because a big, tall man were at the edge of the bed, would you?
What's happened here is the builder cheated by using thinner lumber to build the floor assembly, and then not anchoring it properly. That's very common in condos and townhouses built for rental-- they are just thrown together, shockingly flimsy, and often the building inspector is paid by the contractor to look the other way, so they all get away with it. There are literally hundreds of lawsuits around the country right this minute on this very issue. It's a national scandal. Don't get me started on this topic, lol!
So just trust me, it's not your fault. It's their fault! In fact you have a right to be very, very angry and could sue their backsides off, so don't let them try to con you into paying for it. Just remember, it's not your fault. And things will get better, just stick to your dreams like glue. Stay cool, and best of luck to you.
02-07-2004, 05:38 PM
I agree with SeekInnerThinChick and Loralee. It's not your fault. That should never have happened--I'm just glad you weren't hurt!
02-08-2004, 08:58 AM
Hi, I happened to see this because Eydie's name came up on my subscribed threads list ... you don't know me, but I needed to add that you have absolutely NOTHING to be ashamed of or cry about ... I'm looking at your stats and you are working away successfully at your weight and that's great for your health and self-esteem BUT your weight doesn't define who you are ... and it has NOTHING to do with the state of your floors and if your landlord gives you any kind of an attitude about that, you need to love and respect yourself enough to tell him/her they are out of line!!!
Sorry if I sound preachy, but you're doing fine and will lose the weight if you want, but even if you don't, you'll still be an important and beautiful person ... I just hate to read about anyone beating themselves up over weight when it's only one factor in who and what we are ... I hang with Eydie and a bunch of supportive women on the CCRRMM threads on the miscellaneous clubs section of 3FC, we are all :queen: s there and very beautiful and important, so feel free to join us any ol' time!!!! Bye! :wave: :)
Stay :strong: !!!
02-08-2004, 02:10 PM
I hope you called your landlord. We owned rental property for over 15 years and our tenants called us all the time. Please post again and tell us if you called the owners and had the problem looked into.
02-11-2004, 03:58 PM
I would call the landlord & tell him the bed went through an obvious defective floor.
They should be concerned abouth the safety of the occupants and covering their butts. They are the ones that should be embarrassed - not you. You should not be apologizing or feeling bad. One of your family members could have been seriously injured here - that should be the focus. You are off to a good start on your weight loss journey - congrats to you and good luck.
02-11-2004, 04:26 PM
Awww..fatgoaway I read your post and felt so bad for you and wanted to send you a big cyberhug :grouphug:
I agree with what everyone else said. It is not you that caused the floor to break! Obviously the floor is defective or made with cheap materials. There is a girl at my ww meetings who weighed more than 300 lbs and her floor has never caved in so there you go.
Please don't feel bad about yourself. You are worthy of self love and you can get healthy for you and your kids. You have already had some success so you can do if you put your mind to it. :)
02-13-2004, 07:57 AM
I hope you feel better!!!
02-13-2004, 08:29 AM
the first thing I wold do is pull up that carpet and get a good look at the (obiviously cheap crap) they used to 'remodel'. I would get a measurment, and a picture and a sample if possible. Yur weight had nothing to do with this! I think the idea of a floor collapsing may be the fodder of slapstick, but in reality if is humilating and painful. Once you get the real lowdown on the construction, I would talk to a contractor or building inspector and see what the code is in your area...armed with that info, then I would proceed to landlord and demand explanation as to how he could endanger your children in this place and when he will fix this. No way in god's green earth is this your fault...we all need to stop feeling like we are the butt of the world and stand up for our selves. Girlfriend, you have the strength of thousands of fatchicks behind you on this, go forth and kick butt!!!!!!!!!!!
02-14-2004, 07:10 PM
I think I would get a couple months free rent for pain and upset. Tell your landlord that maybe the building inspector should be called..
Get on your healthy eating plan and forget about crying about something that isn't your fault..You can sue him!Believe he can be made to pooh his pants..Joanne
02-14-2004, 09:39 PM
Its not your fault I know you feel bad but read what Loralee said Standard floors do not break from a bed with one person on it. YOU DID NOT BREAK THE FLOOR!! There had to be some kind of defect or weakness. :grouphug:
02-28-2004, 11:34 PM
I think you've heard it enough by now, but I obviously agree, couldn't possibly be your fault. Suppose there was a bed there with two people in it?
When you tell the landlord, don't even tell him you were in the bed at the time if it makes you feel uncomfortable. Just say somebody sat on it; is he going to ask who?
Lastly, about other flimsy furniture breaking, I have two sisters who are at least 100 lbs. overweight, one never broke a thing, the other does it all the time. The difference? The "breaker" plops into any chair she sits in. If this worries you, you might concentrate on easing into a chair, or even just not dropping down, but controlling your movements just a little. Works for my other sister like a charm.
Good luck, and cheer up. You broke my heart with your story.
03-07-2004, 10:25 AM
Have you stopped crying yet??? you're doing a great job. and as everyone else said, this is a bad floor. not YOU>
not even when i weighed 500 pounds did i break a chair!!!!! honest!!!!!!!