Chris -- I hope you're feeling better about things today. I said a special prayer for you to follow God's lead in the decision you have to make. You can do it!
Jennelle -- Sorry your online meeting wasn't what you hoped for! Other than that, did you enjoy your day off? I thought of you and Kat while I was at school. I don't know why most of the districts around here don't close for MLK Jr. Day!
Isn't is funny how differently this disease manifests itself? Kat and Jennelle both mentioned that strict food planning could trigger a binge for them. I, on the other hand, get panicky and feel the food regain control if I don't plan each meal and my snack! That panicky feeling has lead me to overeat more times than I can count!
I have to agree with you about the protein, Jennelle. I know that my breakfast and lunch were very light on that yesterday. I have a better plan for today.
Hello to Kat and Ellis!
I'm going to go and fix my breakfast and coffee and fold some laundry before work. Everybody have a great day!
I have decided that I will take the 24 hour course this wekk to become Emergency Response Recertified for Hazmat. Today I am taking off and cleaning my house, doing Yoga, taking a bubble bath, cooking food for the week, and attending a meeting. First I need a whole work/life balance which has nothing to do with being selfish but instead my sanity. -->
What helped me last night was watching a story about Paula Abdul. She was hurting herself in people pleasing and pushing herself, keeping the pain at bay by doing, hiding her bulimia, I saw myself in her. Its funny when you know what people with ED's are like you can start to see it, but the world isn't that educated she hid it under tenacity and people pleasing for 17 years. She has faith and it glows on her. I can see it.
Christy- I am with you, when I have a food plan thats a release for me I am free to not think about the food. But when others have always dieted VERY restrictively (and I know Jenelle has) it can put the panic within. My diets were the thing I did between binges Being restrictive for me meant not eating anything and boy can that lead to a binge.
Jenelle- Program has its "things" like not closing for holidays. It was great during T-Day. When you needed relief from food and family go to OA. You'll figure it out. I still have the greatest respect for you and Christy for working on this with on-line sponsors. This is a wide fellowship and we can find ways to love you where ever you are. One of my favorite stories is about the lady who had a meeting in her small town. Most the time it was just her, she would sit for an hour, read literature, and pray. When someone did show for the meetings they were always so happy she was there That's tenacity.
Kat, Ellis, and I hope Patton shows up (she is suppose to be coming to Omaha) this weekend, CJ, and the Sandi's miss you. Come by and say hi!
I feel so stupid being here. I can't get OP for even one darned day. You're all doing so well, and I'm so glad for you, but feel so helpless.
I know it's the cold weather... it's terribly difficult at this time of year, but I'm mad anyhow. And thoroughly fed up.
Sorry... just needed to rant a wee bit.
Quote:
Originally Posted by rochemist
First I need a whole work/life balance which has nothing to do with being selfish but instead my sanity.
Chris, I can really relate to you there. You HAVE to sit down by yourself and figure out what you want and how to get there. Otherwise you're just wandering around WISHING for it to happen. I'll be saying prayers for you, sweetie. You can do this.
Christy, I don't know how you do it. You sound so together. You're a real inspiration, hon.
Hi Ellis! You are never stupid being here, because we love Ellis just the way she comes. In your own time and in your own space you will find what is right for you.
I am still in my PJ's I went back to bed this morning. I had a good cry, talked with my sponsor, and went and cuddled my DH. It was a very nice nap. Next clean my room, Yoga, then in the bath with me.
I need to eat. I am just having a not hungry day. Bad Chris we know this is a trigger. I have my turkey legs cooking for lunch. Yum! Soon I will face the food.
I love ya'll! I am praying for a great day for everyone of you!
Miss Chris
Miss Chris - It scares me, too, when I have a "not hungry" day. I have to look and see if I'm truly not hungry or if I'm starting to restrict for other reasons.
Ellis - You would only be stupid if you didn't post.
Kat - Hi to you too!
Christy - I did enjoy my day off, thanks. I am surprised that you don't get the MLK holiday off, too. We have a large African-American population, so maybe that's why.
I am doing well...working on reading "Bill W's Story" and sending my comments to my sponsor. It's amazing what parallels I can draw between alcoholism and COE.
Jenelle- Wait till you read the stories in the back. I have huge sections highlighted. YUP THAT IS SO ME! Addiction is an ugly, hard thing no matter what it is.
How's it going? Ellis - where are you hun, please check in. We are all here because we need help to fight our disease. Use this group as a tool to build and eventually maintain your abstinence. You can do it!
Chris - How has the day progressed for you? Good cries are needed every so often! Plus DH (SO) snuggles.
Christy - It is amazing how the disease rears its ugly head in all of us. Just like how some alcoholics drink every day and some just binge every once in a while. We are different yet the same.
Jennelle: I hope your journaling went well.
Tonight I am going out to see Terminator 2 and then listen to James Cameron (the director) speak afterwards. A late night but it should be fun. Now I'm off to ride my stationary bike a bit.
Do you find yourself wishing for more than twenty-four hours in you
day and more energy to fill them? Certainly, time and energy are
among our most precious gifts. Without them, very little would be
possible.
How much time and energy did your eating disorder require? For most
of us, the answer is "too much." We no longer need to spend large
blocks of time thinking about food, planning a binge, having it, and
recovering from it. We no longer need to drag ourselves around on the
dangerously low level of energy produced by self-starvation.
Even though recovery gives us time and energy we did not have before,
these precious gifts are limited. Every day, the way we use these
gifts defines the new person we are becoming. Are we learning to say
yes to what enhances our growth and no to what impedes it? Are we
willing to let our priorities be directed by a Higher Power?
*
May I have the wisdom to know how I want to spend my time and energy
today.
Thank you, Jennelle... I don't want to be stupid, so I will post.
Kat, I didn't want to come in until the day was over.
Terminator II!? How cozy! The "time and energy" article is great... thank you!
You mean when we have a "not hungry day" we're supposed to EAT, Chris!? Ah! Thanks for the extra hugs this morning.
You're not going to believe this, but I have stayed OP ALL DAY!! I've probably eaten a little more than I should, but everything I've eaten has been on my permitted list!
After telling Chris to sit down and make a plan, I thought I should do the same thing. And it really helped! I got my day book out and actually WROTE in the darned thing. I made a plan for my day, and while I didn't accomplish everything on the list, I got a good bit of it done, and I feel GREAT!
Daily Thread -- Tuesday, January 20
Everybody have a great day!
--> 
Being restrictive for me meant not eating anything and boy can that lead to a binge. 
That's tenacity.
I can't get OP for even one darned day. You're all doing so well, and I'm so glad for you, but feel so helpless.
Soon I will face the food.
:
ing. And now I feel better, sometimes when your overwhelmed by your emotions just let them out! 
