100 lb. Club - Taking the plunge, hope I don't do it wrong!




Nyssareen
01-15-2004, 06:57 PM
Well, I've been lurking around here for a few days now, finally registered last night and posted my profile and today I'm going to take the plunge and actually post. I hope I do it all right and if I don't, feel free to tell me so and I won't do it next time! This will probably end up being quite long, so bear with me as I have a tendency to be too verbose (that's putting it mildly).

I guess I'll start by telling you all a little about myself. I'm 26 years old, divorced mother of 2 little boys. Been dating off and on for 4 years since I got divorced, but nothing too major. I'm 5'10" and have a big build, even the dr says I have the "big bone" thing, but I know that isn't the entire cause of my appearance. I'm not really sure how much I weigh, I think around 375, but I've been too heavy to be weighed on the dr's scale, which goes to 350, for quite a while so I'm not really sure anymore. I'm trying to find a scale that goes up to 400 which I can afford, but haven't had too much luck.

I've been overweight since I was about 5 years old. My mother said that when I was 4 I wore a size 6X dress and was tall and skinny, but by the time I started kindergarten a year later, I was in a size 10 which had to be adjusted for length because I was that big around, but not that tall. I was tormented all through school because of my weight, combined with the fact that I was intelligent and often the "teacher's pet" and even skipped a grade so I was the youngest in my class from 4th grade on. Needless to say, I wasn't very popular. When I got to middle school, my mother convinced me to take drama classes because she knew the teacher and both my older brothers had taken his classes and she thought they would do me good. I was hooked within one month.

I loved being an actress. I had always been painfully shy and much happier if I was hiding in a corner with a book and no one noticed me, but I found that when I got on stage, I could become someone else and I didn't mind everyone looking at me. I was pretty good at it and won quite a few awards through high school. I also got into choir and did very well in that, since my father had taught me to sing when I was very little and I'd always loved it. I wasn't wildly popular in high school, but I'd found a place I could belong and people who liked me, regardless of my appearance, and something I was good at, all in the same place. I was even on the drama council my senior year and was relatively happy.

I got married one year out of high school to a man I'd met online. I'd gone on four dates in high school. Two I'd asked the guy for a girl's choice dance, and two my friends had made the guy ask me so I could go with their group. I didn't much care for the man I married, but he asked and I figured I'd better take what I could get when I could get it. I had my first child almost exactly 9 months later. I didn't have too many problems with him until the last two weeks when I developed pre-ecclampsia. The doctor induced me on my due date because my blood pressure was sky-rocketing, but once I had the baby, things returned to normal.

I got pregnant with my second son just over a year later, with him being due on his brother's birthday. I developed pre-ecclampsia in the second month, as well as gestational diabetes. I was put on bed rest by the end of the second month and admitted to the hospital at the beginning of the seventh because my blood pressure and sugar were both completely uncontrollable, despite the fact that I rarely got out of bed and hardly ate anything. I had been hovering around 300 pounds from high school on, but being on solid bed rest for six months pushed me up over 400.

After I had my second son, the health problems didn't go away. I had diabetes, chronic high blood pressure, severe back problems from the bed rest, the extra weight and problems with the epidural they tried to give me, and was diagnosed with severe hypothyroidism a few months later. I was put on a number of pills and was often confined to bed again when my back went out, which it did often.

I got divorced before my younger son was a year old and moved in with my mother. I didn't do anything and didn't go anywhere for nearly two years. I did get my own place, but my mom usually had my kids because I was unable to care for them while confined to bed and heavily medicated. My days consisted of television, computer and food, lots and lots of food. I had lost about 50 pounds when I had my son, mostly water, but I quickly gained it back in the next two years. I didn't have to do anything because I was able to live on the child support my ex husband sent and the SSI I was recieving due to my disability.

I moved back in with my mom after 2 years in my own place because I couldn't even manage to keep it clean anymore and lived with her for about a year. In May of 2002 I moved out again, but soon fell into the same patterns I had been in before of complete inactivity and over-eating. I attempted to go to college a few times throughout this time, but always dropped out before completeing the term.

In September of 2003, my ex husband lost his job and so the child support stopped. I quickly decided that I had to get a job, but I was not qualified to do anything. Much to my surprise, after my first interview, I got a call from someone who knew the woman I had interviewed with. He told me that she wasn't able to hire me at that time, but that he was very interested in hiring me if I was interested in working for him. I went in for an interview and was given the job on the spot. I now work for a GED/ESL/Adult Education program as a volunteer tutor recruiter and assistant to the director and I absolutely love my job.

I always told myself that my problem wasn't eating, that I just needed to exercise more and I'd be fine and the weight would just fall off. But because of my back pain, I wasn't able to exercise and that was always my excuse. I had lost a little weight after moving back out of my mom's, just from having to do housework and such, but I was still not able to be weighed on my dr's scale. I think I've been around 375 for about 2 years.

So what prompted me to actively try to lose weight now, when I haven't really ever tried before? A number of factors combined that made me realize that it was time to get moving. First of all, my kids. I can hardly move these days because of my weight, and I have absolutely no chance of keeping up with them. I can't even stand at the mirror for 10 minutes to do my hair without feeling weak and hurting. I want to be able to play with my kids and just be comfortable doing something as simple as walking into my house, driving my car or even just sitting on the couch. Second, the dr told me that my blood pressure is going up, even though I'm on two medications to control it, my blood sugar will not remain stable, my thyroid is going nuts, and my back is getting worse. If these things don't change and soon, I most likely won't live to see 40, and possibly not even 30. I don't want to die before my kids even get out of elementary school. Third and final, my best friend's mother, who has always been like my second mother and whom I am most like both in personality and health, is currently in the hospital in Salt Lake City, waiting to have triple by-pass surgery after having had two heart attacks. She has a number of the same health problems I have and hasn't been taking care of herself. Seeing her in the hospital was like the straw the broke the camel's back. I couldn't see her there without knowing, for certain, that if I don't change, I will be there myself before too long.

So, I spoke with my dr. He put me on Fastin for about 2 months to help me get started and is sending me to a nutritionist in the next week, as soon as the approval comes through from my insurance. I've put myself on a 2000 calorie diet, because as emotional as eating is for me, I know that if I tried to go with any less than that I would have no hope of sticking to it. I've been tracking every single thing that goes into my mouth since the 8th of January and looking up the nutrition content of it all so I can keep track of it on my computer. I didn't realize just how much I was eating before. I look at my list of what I've eaten and how many calories are in it, then think about what I used to eat and how many calories must have been in that, and there is no way I can justify it to myself as "not eating too much, just needing more exercise." I haven't started an exercise program yet, my dr thinks, and I agree, that it would be best if I can try to lose some by restricting my diet first so it won't be so hard on my back. I'm going to start with water aerobics as soon as I get down to 350.

So, that's my HUGE long introduction. I hope someone manages to make it through it all, and I promise not to be this verbose every time I post! I hope that I will be able to help some of you, as I don't want to be just a taker, but I know I need help too and hope to get some of it here.

Thanks,
Cezanne


missaprylj
01-15-2004, 07:05 PM
I thought it was an AWESOME introduction and I think you're going to get along really really well with everyone here, you seem so nice! Plus, we like talkative folks. :D I relate to the part about not fitting in because you're fat and intelligent.... story of my life.

My name is Apryl and I'm so happy you're here! Welcome welcome! Post often! :)

By the way.... how do you pronounce your name? (SAY-zann?) I really, really like the way it looks/is spelled. :)

WELCOME!

1fralick
01-15-2004, 07:09 PM
A huge welcome! it sounds like you have made the decision to take charge!
The people here are great, very supportive with great insight.


Nyssareen
01-15-2004, 07:15 PM
Hi Apryl and Pat, and thanks!

My name is technically pronounced say-ZON, but my friends and family usually do SAY-zann, and I get everything from SEZ-ann to SEZ-ain-ee...had one teacher in high school who said it that way the whole year, never did get it right...I usually go by Cez with close friends, but my family still calls me Cezzie...which I don't mind too much, but since I'm the "baby" of the family it's usually said as if I'm a kid...blah blah blah I'll shut up now! :ziplip:

Monkeybabies
01-15-2004, 07:29 PM
Well...you have come to the right place!!!!

Sounds like you are off to a good start. Now, I must ask...what is the medication your doc put you on...I never heard of it before. Is it to loose weight??? How do you feel on it so far. I am glad you took charge...and again welcome. We are all in this together!!! :p

Raelynn
01-15-2004, 07:42 PM
Welcome to the board! :)

Sheila53
01-15-2004, 08:17 PM
Welcome--I'm so glad you're here!

dowsx4
01-15-2004, 08:20 PM
Welcome ! Your post sounds so much like when i started to lose weight! I really looked at what i was eating and could not believe i actually ate that many calories I never believed i ate that much. Lots of people in my family are over weight but just this year my mom lost 85 lbs and i have lost 145lbs and my sister had gastric bypass surgery in september and has lost alot through that was well! I look forward to your posts.

Nyssareen
01-15-2004, 08:57 PM
I feel so welcome, thanks to all of you! :grouphug:

Gina, Fastin is one of the appetite suppressant drugs and it is a sort of amphetamine. It also goes by Adipex-P, Ionamin, and Oby-Trim. Here is a link to what webMD has to say about it http://my.webmd.com/content/healthwise/93/23055.htm?lastselectedguid={5FE84E90-BC77-4056-A91C-9531713CA348}
It has a tendancy to be highly addictive so the dr. only wants me on it for about 2 months. I started on the 8th and I haven't really noticed any side effects. I've had a headache for a few days, but I'm pretty sure that is just stress, I will tell the dr. when I see him though, just to be sure. I haven't really noticed myself being much less hungry yet, but that is mostly because I can't really tell the difference between being actually physically hungry, and just wanting to eat because of boredom, depression, etc. I'll let you know if it helps! :)

AngiKL
01-15-2004, 09:36 PM
Welcome! Post often!

terrific pig
01-15-2004, 09:44 PM
Welcome, Cezanne. Your introduction was so eloquently stated -- we have a writer in our midst! I love your quote, 'The time has come, the walrus said...' I am a big Alice in Wonderland fan.
My weight has been yoyo-ing for as long as I can remember, and I'm now at 240 or so. My highest has been 260, lowest (in recent years, anyway)is 190. Like you, I have many health problems - chronic asthma, meuniere's disease and depression are some of them.
Please keep us posted about your journey to better health - we can all inspire one another.

mary

missaprylj
01-15-2004, 10:11 PM
What a beautiful name. (I'm really into names, promise I'm not crazy. heehee.) What kind of exercise do you do/plan to do?

kari_berry
01-15-2004, 11:39 PM
I just have to say....

"You Go Girl! You can do it!!!"

Congrats on taking your first step at trying to become healthier. :) I can truly relate to things that you have been through. Especially being over-weight in school, and being intelligent. Those two things classified me as a "Fat Book Worm". I too enjoyed being by myself a lot, reading books, and just trying to escape from the rest of the world.

I think that by you going to see your doctor, and trying to get hooked up with a nutritionist is a wonderful way to get started. I know that you will be well on your way, and you sound VERY motivated. :) Plus you have two children to help keep you going along the way. Not only are you doing this for yourself, but you are doing this for them to. :)

3 Fat Chicks is probably THE best forum that I have ever taken part in. Everyone here cares about everyone else, and they sure know how to keep you motivated! Even when I'm not "on plan" I still keep coming back. 3 Fat Chicks, and the ladies/gents here just keep me going!

Nyssareen - I wish you luck on your journey. :) You can do anything that you desire!

If you ever need someone to talk with, or just want a friend to e-mail with, you can send me a message anytime at kari_hager@sbcglobal.net or just send me a Private Message (PM) here at the 3FC site. :)

Hope to see you around here often! :)

~ Kari ~

jiffypop
01-16-2004, 12:09 AM
so nice to have you here, cez.. cezzie. cezanne. no matter what, it's a gorgeous name.

sounds like you're making some slow, steady changesl and that's what's important., there are a whole bunch of smart folks around here, so don't be shy!!!! jump in. ask questions., put in your two cents anywhere you want!!!!!

it'll be fun. honest.!!!

mthrgoos68
01-16-2004, 09:12 AM
Welcome! It's great to have you join us and I hope that you post often! Water aerobics are wonderful and a lot of fun. I also just did walking around my house when I started and it was sometimes easier than getting to the Y and walking on the treadmill.

I look forward to reading more from you.

glynne
01-16-2004, 10:15 AM
Welcome!! Everyone is wonderful here. You will like it. We look forward to getting to know you.

Take care ~ Gayle

jiffypop
01-16-2004, 10:16 AM
kim... only 22 more pounds?????? i'm so impressed!!!! so proud of you!!!!! oh my!!!! there should be a major party around here when you lose this little tiny bit!!!!!

gonzostar
01-16-2004, 10:42 AM
welcome! post often! (not like me lately! eep.)

Sandi
01-16-2004, 11:57 AM
Cez - Wow! I am just now getting to you post and we are on Page 2 of replies. Cool!

First of all, welcome to our little group. I think your introduction was wonderful. I feel like I really know where you are coming from.

I think that 2000 calories is a great way to start. I am in the 290's and I lose weigh when I eat 1800 calories, so i wouldn't recommend going any lower.

The one scale I have found that goes over the 330 lb mark is sold by Tanita (http://www.tanita.com/DigitalScales.shtml). It's the last one on the page. It sells for $80.00. I am thinking about this one myself because it seems like becuase of my weight, my scale seems to fluctuate between readings and I wonder if a higher capacity scale wouldn't be better..

Glad to have you!!! :D

looosingit
01-16-2004, 12:28 PM
Welcome! Sounds like you have a great plan in place for getting healthier! The key for me has been to take everything in steps. From reading your introduction, it sounds like we share this philosophy!

Don't worry about being verbose....when you've got important things to say, you've got important things to say!

I look forward to hearing about all of your successes! Welcome, welcome, welcome!