i know where meg is, but how about all the rest of you?
i have checked in periodically and i really, REALLY miss you guys.
as i said in an earlier post, i am now in the seattle/tacoma area, previously in hawaii.
i have started working as a rehabilitation asst, for 6 physical and occupational therapists.
its a fantastic job woth wonderful personnal satisfaction.
if all of you oldies remember it was one of my greatest fears---going back to work.
i was so afraid that i wouldnt find a job that fit me and i wouldnt be able to ever find happiness in my work arena.
i am facing this fear and finding out just how strong and successful i can really be.
it has gone a long way towards helping me deal with my "food" issues.
i realized that alot of my overeating was really very low self worth.
i had put all my focus on my weight and looks because i didnt think i had anything else to offer, and if i was fat, then what did i have left?
and this in turn made me eat even more compulsivly, and excercise compulsivly, and worry compulsivly, and round and round it went.
i have really been striving for balance in my life, and its like being born anew.
i still overeat occasionally, but i dont binge.
big difference.
i eat whatever i please, and i havent read an article on weight loss in a long time.
in fact its become a boring topic to me.
dont you guys think its boring??? i mean i have read enough theorys on weightloss and diets to last me 10 lifetimes!!!!
i am starting to understand that balance in ALL areas of my life is the answer to my overeating.
i cant be empty in one without the compulsion returning.
so if im noticing i need more romance, i pay attention to my marriage, if i need more friendship, i work on that, and social life, career, same thing.
NOT pick up another diet theory or look at myself in the mirror and think im too fat.
which is what ive always done before!!!
does anyone have any thoughts on this?
i would love to hear all of your ideas, and would love to get some support on my new outlook in life that if somethings not right, look at my life, not my weight!!!!
love to all,
and looking forward to your thoughts,
wendy
Hi, Wendy. I'm not an "old timer" on this thread, but I've have been lurking and occasionally posting for a couple of months. I was previously a devoted Weight Watcher and visited that thread daily for at least a year. It was only when I fell of the WW-points wagon that I, thankfully, discovered this board and the concept of demand eating (as explained in a few books that were recommended to me).
Congratulations on your success. Isn't is great when you come to a realization about something?
I realized a couple of months ago I couldn't go down the dieting road again. I've done some reading the past few months and have finally come to terms with the fact that the diets actually make us GAIN weight over the long run. This realization is significant for me because it has helped me get through the temptation to start another diet to get off the extra weight I've gained in my post-diet eating frenzy. However, I'm not as advanced as you are: I still have many vestiges of that diet mentality. For example, even though I've been trying to do the demand eating thing, I haven't been as successful as I would have liked. For instance, if I happen to eat when I'm not hungry I instantly think I've "blown it" and that leads to more non-hunger eating. This is classic diet thinking and I know it's going to be hard to shed. However, just the fact that I realize this is progress.
Oh, well, I just wanted to say "hi," and encourage others to post. To me, this is probably the best thread on the whole board, but, unfortunately, it has the fewest posts.
Oh Wendy!!!! The balance you speak of is so true!!!! I try to do the same as well........
CONGRATS to you on your job!!! THAT is probably one of the most important things.
I've had a lot going on lately so I haven't been posting much or even reading much... I need to get back into the groove!!!! I haven't been eating well lately either. Basically I go on and off my healthy eating and when I don't eat healthy I tend to eat too much sugar and junkfood which in turn causes me to want more..... the viscious circles I lead!!!!
Anyway, I'm back in my mode and I'm hoping to feel better!!! I HATE when my body feels like crap (it then causes my mind to feel like crap - yet another viscious circle).
thanks for the replies melomil and kymber
its such a good feeling to know im not alone.
i am on my way out the door but i will post again tonight.
hope you guys have a wonderful day and yes melomil, i believe you are right.
this is the best board on this site, but people i think are not ready or do not want to grasp the idea of no dieting.
we are used to rules.
we are afraid that if we trust ourselves we will go out of "control".
its sad, but when we realize that there is no such thing as control, it really frees us up, to give up the compulsion.
its an unnatural state of being to count calories or give up certain foods, thats why we end of failing in the end.
can i hear an amen?
love, wendy
Wendy,
I am so happy for you! You have done some real hard work lately and gained so much insight for yourself. Attagirl...
I believe that balance is so important, but hard for us to do. Addicts have a real hard time with moderation in anything. But again, let's try to be patient and kind to ourselves. It's a long road.
Melomil,
Good to hear from you too! Blowing the diet thing is also a classic feeling for the COE population. Add this to the fact that when you begin to become more aware and knowledgable about the disease and recovery, you try to hold yourself accountable to this new "plan". I remember that one of the nurses at the Eating Disorders Center that I attend cautioned me against that "eat when you're hungry, stop when you are full" becoming a diet in itself. She talks about "normalized" eating rather than demand eating. Not that she disagress with the concept of demand eating, but wanted to address the issue of my perfectionism. She says even normal eaters occasionally eat too much - the extra chocolate chip cookie, sliver of pie, helping of mashed potatoes - and eat in response to emotions. The difference between them and my struggle, is that eating is my ONLY method of coping. They may occas overeat in response to anger, boredom, but don't always turn to food for comfort whereas that is my sole method of dealing with things.
Kymber,
Howdy! Good to hear from ya'....thawing out yet? I went to California for 11 lovely warm days, and came home to snow and gray skies, yuck! Come on Spring!!
Hi Everyone! Just thought I'd do a quick post, I miss you guys ...
Wendy dear, I think that you have finaly ripped off that band-aid called "diet" and healed that wound with time, self love, acknowledgement and patience! I recognize the incredible progress you have made in the past ( year I think?)
You are living in the moment by meeting your own needs appropriately by asking yourself "What do I need with my marriage, with my career needs (Big step and Big Congrats!) and relationship needs?" I think this is such growth and I hope it is as inspirational to others as it is to me.
Something came to mind when I was reading your post. It is about distraction. I think it was in Laura Fraser's book Losing It that the topic of distraction that dieting brings about makes us NOT live and be the best we can be and keeps us down by focusing on an unattainable ideal . We are good enough at any size, and if we feel right in our own skin then all the messages the media bombards us with don't matter. It feels so good to turn off all the noise from cable, magazines, and other lifetime dieters that I know I can face myself in the mirror and not hate myself.
Aside from the body image my new sobriety ( 40 day& 40 nights ha ha ) has been my salvation in liking myself. My husband the other day said how refreshing it is that I am not seeking outside approval on a daily basis. In fact I have never had much internal confidence until now. I attibute it to not drinking, my sponsor, and that higher power showing me little miricles every day.
Life is good! a day at a time ...
"You have to have lots of clouds and a big storm to produce a rainbow" - John Jones
Have an awesome Easter!!
Love and light to all, Meg
Last edited by eg with an M; 04-10-2001 at 04:51 PM.
