Weight Loss Surgery - stick a fork in me, am I done???

I will be two years out from surgery in January. Not sure 100%, but I think my weight loss is done................

......Is that a bad thing??? In my opinion, no.

During the first 3 months after my surgery, instead of losing 50ish pounds, I actually gained 20 pounds. For those of you who don't know, I spent the first 3 months in the hospital with some pretty horrible complications.......I was on tube feeding which is pretty high calorie. So in essence I lost the first 3 months, which is normally a GOOD weight loss time.

Am I bitter about that, not at all........I feel like one of the luckiest women alive. I'm healthy, happy, have a wonderful loving family and I weigh between 211-215.

For some that is way, way, way too much........for me........I can do whatever I want to do!

There are some in my real-life support group who look at me as a failure, because I have not reached "goal" weight. But, I must say....what is goal weight?? I did not have this surgery to become a size 4, I had this surgery to become healthy.....which I have done.

I guess the point of my ramblings is to let people know, our goals may all not be the same........but as long as we achieve "our" goals, what could be better!!!!

You are an inspiration and a source of encouragement. Not a failure at all!! The whole weight loss journey is about getting healthier and finding what we can live with and what works for each of us. You have accomplished that and should be very proud.

hey debbie

congrats

i too came out of hospital with a weight gain and remember thinking now what was that about

i started at 368 4 wks later i am around 310 my first goal is to be under 300 and last year i never would have thought that was possible now i am close

i remember one of the tech telling me they will give you a goal of 135 you and i know that is riduclous and will get you discouraged take smaller goals and the rest will be icing on the cake

well my finish goal is to be under 200 and a size 18 now thanks to you i know i can accomplish this

thanks for sharing

bevmel

oh deb... you are the BEST!!!!! we've been discussing this in our support group as well, and apparently what happens is that none of us feels healthy at our so-called 'goal' weight!!!!! not sure of the reason, but not even my little tiny size 4 pcp wants me at 150 pounds... we're shooting for 180 after the plastic surgery.

and we've mentioned this before... the plastic surgery will knock roughly 20 pounds of excess skin off of you. and it's not necessary for you to be happy and healthy. would that put you at the goal you'd like?

and i think i've pretty much stopped as well, and i'm not nearly as content about it as you are. there's apparenlty a new procedure in which they kind of patch up the stoma with a little bit of the scar tissue to make it tighter so the pouch empties like it did when we first had the surgery and we can stay full longer.

i'll probably do it. i'm about 30 pounds from where i want to be [yes folks, i've had a 15 pound gain!!! because of being laid up from the knee injury. but since last week, when i started hiking again, i've lost 12.5 pounds!!! go figure. none of this makes sense to me either!!!!]

Hiya Deb,

That was a wonderful, very comforting post. My goal all along has been to be healthy. I won't ever look fabulous in a bathing suit and it really doesn't matter. The people who love us no matter what, love us because we're the fabulous women we are - not because of our looks. I wish that the statisticians didn't count not getting to a goal weight set on a chart as a failure. That's just so wrong! You go girl!

Your not-too-secret admirer,
Chickadee

Deb - None of us are failures! We get up each day and take care of our families and ourselves and come here to give/receive support. We've all learned new things about ourselves and we work on the things we aren't too happy with. Do we do it right each and every day? No, but that is ok and we get up the next day and work at it again.

Don't ever let someone outside of yourself set a goal for you - the goal has to be yours and it is perfectly fine if it changes over time. Feeling comfortable, good and healthy about ourselves is really the only goal we all should be shooting for.

I'm very proud of you, Debkay and so is everyone that knows and loves you!

Kel

I LOVE YOU ALL! You make me proud to be me regardless of what some shmuck tells me I should weigh! You are the best part of my day, I leave this site with the knowllege that I am good as I am, not a number.
-L

Thanks guys for your kind words.

I hope I didn't give the impression I felt like a failure.........cause I don't!! I'm one happy, healthy, sassy woman..........at 211 pounds!!!!

mthrgoos68, talk about inspiration, my dear, you are one. Congrats on your wonderful weight loss!

Jiff, at this point in my life, I don't think any plastic surgery is in my future. My family is very scared of me going under the knife again. My arms are pretty bad, my belly is so-so and the girls have flown south. But, I have wonderful bras and tight undie/girdle thingies and the arms, well 3/4 sleeves are my best friend. Perhaps in the futute I wll broach the subject of plastics with the family, but right now it is just not a comfortable subject. and honestly, I'm not too keen on it just yet either.

Bev, you will be in that size 18 before you know it!!

Chickadee, Kel and L.......what can I say........you guys are the best!!

Deb, You hang in there girl! I think ole Alvin's done too, but I haven't told him that. He's still trying for about 50 more pounds, but since he hasn't mentioned any lost in a while I think it has stopped. But like you, he is so much more healthy, happy and able to ead a normal life again, if he never loses another pound it was worth it all. And as to the plastic surgery, yes he plans on doing that, but he feels like your family whenever I mention having the susrgery myself. With what he went through, he's scared to have me take the risk. Well, I'm still working on it, but after seeing my mom so sick when she was in the hsoptial, brought back bad old memeories, and I may decided to wait for a while before I push onward in my quest for surgery.

Boy that paragraph rambled on from one subject to another and back again. sorry, Anyway, just wanted to add my support to you and let you know that I think 211 is a perfect weight for anyone!

DEB,

I came out of the hospital without loosing a single pound! Remember...everyone is different, and you way surpassed the 100lbs they promise as weight loss.
YOU GO GIRL!!!

BOB

Congrats to all of you "super losers". I am not a WLS person, but am working on weight loss and reconciling past perfectionism trends with reality. I firmly believe that bodies do reach a happy weight. Mine is still over the range but I'm workin on it. Hey I am over 200 but I completed a marathon (26.2 miles!!) in 7 hours recently. I did all the blood tests and stress tests and I test as someone who exercises, not as an "obese" person. I no longer obscess about food. So I think it is SO wonderful that those of you like Debkay, Jiffypop have adopted healthy lifestyles, feel confident, and are looking forward to long and fulfilling lives. You are the poster gals for WLS & weight loss in general -concerned about nutrition, concerned about health, doing all the right things. The skin surgery has to be a huge decision for you all. If it makes a huge diff for you in your life - wow- go for it. But if you are happy, and healthy and able to deal with the sometimes less than flattering skin stuff (hey- even the pencil thin ones have stuff- that's what that air brushing is all about on those perfect ones) that is great. You are stars on the weight "recovery" path. Best wishes to all!!!!!!!!

Deb, you are an inspiration to us all. to go from your weight to being on death's door for three months--and to have a lousy surgeion to boot-- to walking in a 5 K. how can anyone fault that, I sure can't! You go girl--be what you want to be!

Any gal that can shimmy down the bus aisle without turning sideways is a SUCCESS!!!!

I think you're great!

peach

Hi Deb,

Kudos,I think your wonderful. You have gone through h and back and came out of all of it a better, healthier person. I lookup to you and your experience. Keep up the good work.

Debbie

I'm blushing :lol:

...and peachie, don't forget......there were kids passing me in said bus aisle!!!

torty....WOW a marathon!!! I can only dream. They have the Peachtree Road Race in Atlanta on the 4th of July which is a half marathon. Hazel and I were thinking about trying to do that, but it is very, very hard to get a number for that race. People come from all over to enter it. Now mind you, if we did it, it would NOT be a race, but a GOAL for us! Race :lol: I think not :lol:

thank you Buffy and the other Debbie!

Hazel and I went to a Pampered Chef party last night. Hazel drove and I told her that in the past I would NOT have rode with her, or anyone else for that matter. And, I bet most of you can guess why! Yep, I never wanted to ride in anyone's car but my own. cause, would the seatbelt fit, would I be able to get in and out without straining something......you know the whole fat girl thing. Now I don't think twice about it.

Morning ladies!

Been thinking about this subject off and on all weekend...

Deb -- Wow. Your post has made me realize that in my whole life -- not even 25 years ago when I weighed 135 pounds -- has it ever occurred to me that I might be at my goal weight. (Of course, that's at least partly because at that time I was still counting every frigging calorie during the day and dreaming about banquets every night -- waking up in a cold sweat, thinking I had "blown" my diet.)

Your comments speak to something so much deeper within me than all the dieting/weight loss rhetoric -- something that I've been trying to get at but couldn't even verbalize to myself -- the fact that never in my life can I remember thinking of myself as being all right...really, really all right...just exactly as I am...today. I think I've always withheld that approval for some future date, never granted until I accomplish some something that I have yet to do.

It just hit me when you wrote that you were satisfied...that just maybe that kind of peace really is available and -- if so -- I want it too.

Too bad it's not for sale on ebay. I'd have me some by the end of the week!

Thanks everyone for your comments. I love this board.

Sooner

Wonderful post, Sooner, and something that most all women grapple with on a daily basis I bet. You got me thinking back to many points in my life and you are right, I have NEVER thought I was 'ok'. There was always something about myself that I just couldn't accept. My goal this year is to REALLY work on accepting myself and liking myself just as I am. And working on changing those things that I don't feel good about - and most of those are things on the inside.

Thank you for making me do some good thinking this morning.

Kel

Dear All, After reading and re reading all of the post on this thread it has put new meaning to all that we have been through. Whether we are 700 pound or 150 pound we have the same mental stigmas. And yes this is a mental game till we die. We have been give the tool to stop our eating but no one can give us the mental attutide but us. That we have to work on each and every day. Keep up the good work both ways. Grammy