Umm, Thank You, I think. . .backhanded compliments
On Sunday afternoon, one of my not-so-close friends said to me, "I can really tell you are losing weight: your big belly is almost gone."
A- HEM! Thanks for nothing, lady!
It just made me laugh my head off when I told Dan about it later. This person is just put on the earth to drive me insane. Everything she does rubs me the wrong way.
But, I'm glad that people are noticing my weightloss even if it is a a little spoiled by a stupid remark.
So, anyone else want to share a backhanded compliment about your weight?
Last year when I had worked 8 months...so HARD..to lose 47 lbs. one of my so-called "good" friends said to me "Yeah..you have lost weight...at the bottom." What?..at the bottom?..gee thanks!
Her assinine statement made me feel sad/bad/inferior ALL day!
AND...this "friend" knows how darn hard it is for me to lose the weight!!
Angi, Isn't it crazy the things people say? My grandma was always a great one for telling me that I "could" be so pretty. Of course she never came right out and said, "if only you lost all that darn weight", but I always understood just what she meant!! I'm sure her heart was in the right place, but that didn't exactly make me feel any better.
I have a problem with nosy people at work. In particular, our office manager will actually stop me in the hall to have a look at my lunch. Then, she'll say things that are the equivanlent of patting me on the head, "look how good we're eating today," etc etc.
Anyway, when I got my promotion, she called me into her office to go over my hours and payroll. The first five minutes she spent saying, "I've been watching what you've been eating and I can see and you're doing so well. You're clothes fit much better."
First of all, who made you lunch monitor? That is the rudest thing ever!
Second of all, have you no shame???
I just wanted to tell her that obviously her clothes have fit great for a decade because that's the last time they were in style. Grrrr....
I recently had a relative tell me, in a very matter of fact voice, "You HAVE lost a lot of weight haven't you? You actually have ankles now instead of your calves running right down to your feet!". I smiled and replied in a very matter of fact voice, "Yes, but I know I'll never have your scrawny, chicken legs". She had the nerve to look insulted - I guess I didn't get my point across.
It never ceases to amaze me how people think it's okay to put down your "former" self as though it hurts less. Another case in point - I was showing a co-worker my "fat" picture (as an incentive for her to join WW at Work) when one of the lawyers came by, took a look and said "You really were a heifer!" I doubt he would have said that to my face when I was obese - doesn't he realize I'm still that person on the inside, even if my exterior has changed? Such insensitivity is appalling, let alone just plain rude
I know, it's SOOOO frustrating!! But she really means it in a kind way. Sassing back would only confuse her. /chuckle
Miss Manners suggests icy silence when someone speaks about personal things. A cold look and a thin lipped smile while you let the silence grow until they change the subject... works almost every time.
Oh, and there's always, "Wow, you've lost a lot of weight - keep up the good work." Sort of an acknowledgement that not matter how much you've lost, you aren't finished yet - you've still got more to lose.
I've heard this a lot through the years during different weight loss efforts.
Yes, I always smile politely and take the compliment, whether or not it was actually nice. I prefer to mend my hurt feelings in private!
Umm, Thank You, I think. . .backhanded compliments
