Here is the scenario. You've lost weight and you're looking marvelous baby! Suddenly a guy you're good friends with notices you in a romantic way. Would you be excited or bummed out by this?
I'm torn. On one hand I think I'd be happy that someone I am friends with is interested in taking it to another level. On the other hand, knowing that the only thing different was how I looked would make me think he was too into looks and I would wonder if he'd loose interest in me if I gained the weight back. Just something I've been pondering lately.
Well first off since I have a bf this question wouldn't apply to me but I'll answer it as if I were single.
I don't think that I would be interested in my friend romantically if he started liking me once I lost weight. I would be the same person so why didn't he like me before? If it was just how I looked then he's kind of a shallow person. It's funny how people think you have changed just because you've lost weight. I ran into someone from high school that was interested in me but back when we went to school together wouldn't have gave me the time of day as far as a relationship. People should stop being so caught up on looks and dig deeper.
I am kind of with Mocha... I agree that he should have been attracted to me on an emotional level before I lost weight... However... It could be that he was attracted on an emotional level before but wasn't on a physical level... sounds bad, but you have to be attracted to a person on a physical level as well or it will never go to the next level either. I don't know. I say I would give it a date or 2 to see if it's merely physical attraction or if it's the real thing! See whether he's being physical or just enjoying your presence!!
It could also be that your self confidence has gone up and that's what guys find really attractive so it could be that it went up with your weight going down and it's the confidence that he's now noticing and liking...
I was thinking along the same line. I KNOW I am a TOTALLY DIFFERENT person when I am thin. I am more confident, positive, outgoing, spontaneous, and all around just more fun. That's a lot to attribute to weight...but right now being heavy those things are pretty much nonexistant and have been for a long time. I think that people do place too much on physical apperance, I know I do at times. But if this guy is someone that you have a good friendship with, why not see if it isn't more than a physical thing. Losing weight is not the cure all I am finding, however, so many things change when we do lose though- some good, some bad. But you'll never know unless you test the waters.
My experience, too, is that my personality is different when I'm smaller. I'm just simply more confident & outgoing--not as concerned what others might think, and not as "meek." I've noticed this change already, and I'm only about 1/3 of the way into my weight-loss journey--my newfound confidence just comes through! It's an amazing phenomenon!
Definitely agree with everyone else on this, I am very different when I'm thinner, which sort of goes without saying as I am a lot happier. However, it would give me reservations because whomever I have gone out with, I require their support and respect in all areas of my life. I still require respect at 220lbs and will not be in a relationship without it so it's hard to say. I find it infinitely supportive that my DF has been with me from size 10, oh that was a good week , right through to size 20. He never says a word when I gained weight and is supportive when I lose. If a friend turned boyfriend can do this, even if we started dating at a thinner size then why not? But the problem is that you won't know until it happened and then you may have lost a friend or gained a fabulous relationship, quite the dilema.
I agree, too! The more weight I lose, the more confident, outgoing and fun I become. It's like I'm a totally different person. I wouldn't want to be with me when I'm overweight. I'm self-conscious, shy, reserved and miserable. I think I would completely understand if a friend suddenly took a romantic interest in me after my weight loss. It's not only my physical appearance that has changed... it's my personality and insides, too!
Your friend should not be so physically judgmental.Your insides make ur outsides just as beautiful; if you have a great personality and attitude.I don't change no matter my weight. I try to be positive and have pride in myself all the time.I am outgoing and outspoken.I try to have fun in everything I do.If someone doesn't like me because of my weight that is their loss.I am a great person all the way around, thin or big, ugly or pretty.
Okay after reading others posts I decided I would comment again
I guess I'm different then most on here that have posted (except Lynnie) whereas I was a confident person even when I was larger. I just don't think people took the time out to want to get to know the "real" me fully. They didn't look at me as a girl that they would date, but just as a friend. When I lost weight that's when guys started seeing me in "that way." Of course we all change as time progresses but my personality is still pretty much the same. I agree that you have to be attracted to the other person, but a lot of the times I am attracted to personality first and then that makes me physically attracted to them.
Thanks for your thoughts ladies! Yall have some great points on this matter. Although I've not been this this situation, It's always crossed my mind for some reason. Thought it would be an interesting thing to ponder.
What if.....
, right through to size 20. He never says a word when I gained weight and is supportive when I lose. If a friend turned boyfriend can do this, even if we started dating at a thinner size then why not? But the problem is that you won't know until it happened and then you may have lost a friend or gained a fabulous relationship, quite the dilema.
