Weight Loss Support - Why bother?




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MrsK
09-04-2003, 06:00 PM
Why bother to try to loose weight? The statistics clearly show that it is almost completely pointless so why bother?

What is the point?

We try diet after diet after diet. Low carb, high carb, protein, no protein, liquid, solids, pils ... and exercise fad and gadget after fad and gadget.

For what?

To loose a few pounds and then turn around and gain it back with interest?

Even surgery, drastic as that is doesn't really have that great of a success rate.

So why?


Cerise
09-04-2003, 06:11 PM
Yes, you're right about success rates being very low - I ignore the stats as much as humanly possible.

Change is a funny thing. I've read a book just about how to change yourself, habits, lifestyle and such. It takes the average person many times to change - usually at least more than two, according to this book. And one change effort takes about 6 months to complete the cycle.

Why do I try? Because I think that we all have a good chance to make a difference in our health. Pills, fad diets and such have always seemed stupid to me - I'm committed to making changes that I can sustain forever.

You should meet my friends on the End of Time Change thread. Many of them, nearly all of them, have lost significant amounts of weight over long periods of time and are keeping it off most successfully. They all feel much better, not least because they've proven that they CAN make a change, beat the statistics. That's why I strive to change anything about myself, not just my weight: because the habit I'm focusing on is destructive and doesn't make me happy, and I'd like to know that I can change myself for the better.

Besides, what's the point of living if we're not always striving to make life better, even if we fail? I like where I've been put, like that I have this challenge ahead of me, that I'm on a difficult but do-able journey towards fitness.

Tell me how you're doing. What prompted these questions?

Young Grasshopper
09-04-2003, 06:26 PM
Hi Mrs K,

Okay, I couldn't resist answering your questions.

Why bother when statistics say diets don't work? Well, first off, because statistically speaking obesity is a death warrent. Your chance of heart disease, infertility and or having children with birth defects, cancer - breast, uterus, ovary, stomach, colon...etc, diabetis, arthritis, stroke, back injury, foot injury, knee injury, joint pain, etc..........ALL INCREASE with excess weight. That is reason enough.

I think that many Americans get sucked into the diet fads and gadgets...the quick fix. Come on, logic says that the 5 minute ab work out isn't going to do the trick. That simply breathing a different way won't do the trick. Etc. Fad diets don't work....we all know what we need to do, what good nutrition and portion size is, etc. And I think we've all fallen victim to the anti fat campaign of the 80's....shame that no one has thought, "Gee, what are they replacing the fat with?"...it's sugar! Is that any better?

I say, become informed and work at it. I've got a lot of weight to lose and frankly, I'd love to stay on my couch, eat what I want, and do nothing. On the other hand, I'd like to be able to wake up and feel normal. To be able to walk straight with out pain. For a long time I've fooled myself, ignored what I was doing, even excused it, and now I've started to develop serious health issues.

So, I might not succeed. I might succeed and fail. I might get out and exercise but not lose weight. I might...I might...I might....but on the other hand, I don't want to regret what might have been. I'm tired of the shoulda coulds woulda mentality I've had for so long. How much of life have I missed because of this weight?There is no easy answer, no easy way out. And that's the facts.

It's a complex issue. Mentally and physically. I know that. I think we all do. I suggest you go to the library and do some research. Fat of the Land: The American Obesity Epidemic....by Michael Fukomto is a good book to read. Not too sure about the whole title or the author's last name but they're close enough that you can find them.

I think the statistics on the certainty of death from obesity, even being 20 lbs over weight, far out weigh (pardon the pun) the statistics that relate to diet failure. This is no way to live and frankly, it scares the **** out of me.

Sorry for the lecture....but you really need to consider what you're saying and what the pay off is. Just think off all the things that never would have been invented, tried, etc. if they hadn't been attempted? You need faith, patience, and determination. I think any attempt, as long as it's not extreme like anorexia and bulemia, is worth the effort.

Good luck!

Deb


MrsK
09-04-2003, 06:27 PM
I don't know exactly. I'm just sick of being fat. I'm tired of trying thing after thing and doctor after doctor and always gaining the weight back.

Today was the first day ever in my life that the scale read 300 pounds.

I just don't think I can do it.

I know that what you all say is true. I'm just so depressed and moving is damn near impossible... I just don't think I care any more. It is almost like dying wouldn't be so bad.

gma22
09-04-2003, 06:29 PM
LET'S SEE DIABETES, HEART DISEASE, JOINT AND MUSCLE PROBLEMS, ARTHRITIS, STROKE NEED I GO ON? IN OTHER WORDS, HARD AS IT IS TO LOSE WEIGHT YOU CAN


DIE!!!!! THAT'S GOOD ENOUGH REASON FOR ME!



PLEASE LOOK AT MY STATS AND THEN SAY YOU CAN'T DO IT! YOU CAN DO IT AND I WILL HELP YOU! VISIT MY THREAD TIME FOR SERIOUS FUN HERE ON SUPPORT!

Amarantha2
09-04-2003, 06:43 PM
MrsK!!!! We are all here for you!!! I am so glad you came here and posted your question, because it's a good one! For me, it's all about the journey; I like this quest for fitness that I'm on and I like that I pursue my goal through thick and thin (literally!! :) )

But it IS hard not to be discouraged by a weigh-in and by the way this journey seems to go on and on ... I think it does, it's a lifetime quest! But I think the short answer (I'm never short) to your question about why you should care is that YOU ARE WORTH IT! You are the only you in this universe, so don't give up on yourself and I hope you enjoy the journey.

Sorta like that song, "If you get the chance ... to stand up and dance ... I hope you dance ... I hope you dance!" In the end, why not? :) Doesn't cost anything to dance! :)

I also hang on the End of Daylight Savings Challenge (End o' Time Zone) thread. I'd explain the concept but you gotta visit us and see!!! But all the threads are different and full of supportive people!!!

Don't go way, now!! Stay and play!!! Hooray! :cb: :callme: :wave: :comp:

:encore:

QueenB
09-04-2003, 06:44 PM
Mrs K,

If you feel that it is completely hopeless, then why are you here? Why are you posting in a support thread?

Are you hoping that we will have something magical to say? Are you hoping that one of us will say that one thing that can change your mind?

We can't. :no: ONLY you can make that decision. Only YOU can decide that you want to live and stop letting the world pass you by. Is it easy? No. Is it hard? You better believe it. But statistics.....schmatistics, I say. Make a liar out of those stats. YOU be the success story. You be the one that takes it off and don't let it come back.

I think the true question that you need to ask yourself is if you want to live. I mean, really live. Not just go through the motions. If you want something bad enough, you can do it.

If you need help, we're here....but YOU have to take the first step.

No one can do it for you.

Cerise
09-04-2003, 06:46 PM
MrsK, I'm so sorry that you're feeling such pain about your weight. It's true, you do have a good chunk of weight to lose. So do I. I weigh about 225 currently, and though I've been happily hanging around 3FC for a while now, I haven't lost any weight.

I hate thinking about how much weight I have to lose. I think you should talk to Amarantha, who has lost about 100 pounds so far on her journey. I really think she could talk to you about discouragement and immobility much better than I.

We all go through these periods of "Who Cares?" and "I'm never going to beat this". I know you're aware of this very universal fact. I'm glad you're posting about feeling this way - I tend to stay away from my friends here when I feel this way, and that's dumb. I mean, what are we here for? We'll be here for you, and you'll find a way to get healthier. I mean it! You have all the resources inside you to change yourself, and if you can't do it alone, come here and vent all you want!

Here's my thing: I just read (in desperation not unlike your own) an O Magazine article about women who hate to exercise just for exercise's sake, but love getting their exercise in in sports or whatever. Soccer's my big love - I played it (badly) in college five years ago and want to take it up again. So, I'm running (only for like a minute at a time!) and walking so I can run forever eventually on the field, and my first league practice is Saturday. I'm expecting discomfort and humiliation for a while since I can't keep up, but I'm determined to get good at it. Maybe it isn't a sport, but try thinking about something you could do to get moving - anything! Dancing (maybe in private) lessons, swimming, softball, tai chi (you can be ANY size to do that!). It's gonna be hard for a while - I'll get on here later and whine about soccer, I'm sure!

I'll be around...

HEY, Amarantha, I KNEW you couldn't resist this thread! I knew I'd see you here!

MrsK, stick around - we'll find the answers together! :D :) :p :smug: :s:

MrsK
09-04-2003, 07:11 PM
Originally posted by QueenB
Mrs K,

If you feel that it is completely hopeless, then why are you here? Why are you posting in a support thread?

Are you hoping that we will have something magical to say? Are you hoping that one of us will say that one thing that can change your mind?



Not looking for a magic bullet by any means. Just wondering what keeps everyone else going. Surely, I'm not the first person to spend years on this merry-go-round who wonders these things.

Sometimes asking these qeustions helps me find new perspective that I can apply to my life.

MrsK
09-04-2003, 07:18 PM
Originally posted by Cerise
Here's my thing: I just read (in desperation not unlike your own) an O Magazine article about women who hate to exercise just for exercise's sake, but love getting their exercise in in sports or whatever.

MrsK, stick around - we'll find the answers together! :D :) :p :smug: :s:

Thanks!

I think in part it is just nice to be able to say something like this and not hear someone who only has 10 pounds to loose say, "Oh well all you have to do is ...."

About the sports thing.

I did do one amazing thing today. My daughter is very into Tae Kwon Do and her instructor used to be my instructor 10 years ago. Well, long story short, my friend and instructor has talked me into trying TKD again. So I ordered a gi in my size (hard to find by the way) and next week I'm going to start TKD.

I love TKD but I hate aerobics classes and videos. So maybe this will be the start to getting off my butt!

Cerise
09-04-2003, 07:18 PM
What keeps Cerise going: nothing, sometimes. I quit for a day or days at a time or whatever. Then I get back on the wagon. It's still moving, still going forward.

I actually believe that sometimes one person CAN say that One Special Thing that changes everything. It's happened to me. The One Thing I hear often on this forum is, "You can do it!" and I believe them and love them for saying it. You stay here even if you're not ready to keep moving. Someday you will be ready, and I want to be there for it!

Keep on askin' the questions, lady.

Just read your postie about Tae Kwon Do. DO IT, DO IT, DO IT!!!!!:dancer: :cb: :dance:

Don't wait!!! That's my new motto. Don't wait til you're thinner or more energetic or feeling more brave. Just GET THERE AND DO IT!!!!!

You're a brave lady NOW and I'm so HAAAAAAAPPY!

MrsK
09-04-2003, 07:25 PM
Originally posted by Amarantha
MrsK!!!! We are all here for you!!! I am so glad you came here and posted your question, because it's a good one! For me, it's all about the journey; I like this quest for fitness that I'm on and I like that I pursue my goal through thick and thin (literally!! :) )

But it IS hard not to be discouraged by a weigh-in and by the way this journey seems to go on and on ... I think it does, it's a lifetime quest! But I think the short answer (I'm never short) to your question about why you should care is that YOU ARE WORTH IT! You are the only you in this universe, so don't give up on yourself and I hope you enjoy the journey.

Sorta like that song, "If you get the chance ... to stand up and dance ... I hope you dance ... I hope you dance!" In the end, why not? :) Doesn't cost anything to dance! :)

I also hang on the End of Daylight Savings Challenge (End o' Time Zone) thread. I'd explain the concept but you gotta visit us and see!!! But all the threads are different and full of supportive people!!!

Don't go way, now!! Stay and play!!! Hooray! :cb: :callme: :wave: :comp:

:encore:

Thank you for your view point. It is good to hear from others that this isn't an unusual feeling.

I think seeing 300.0 on the scale was a bit more than my brain/ego/self-confidence was ready for.

Not that I don't know I'm fat, of course. But to see myself top 300 ... it was sort of always a consolation with me that I'd never hit 300!

Time for a reality check!

MrsK
09-04-2003, 07:32 PM
Originally posted by Cerise
What keeps Cerise going: nothing, sometimes. I quit for a day or days at a time or whatever. Then I get back on the wagon. It's still moving, still going forward.

I actually believe that sometimes one person CAN say that One Special Thing that changes everything. It's happened to me. The One Thing I hear often on this forum is, "You can do it!" and I believe them and love them for saying it. You stay here even if you're not ready to keep moving. Someday you will be ready, and I want to be there for it!

Keep on askin' the questions, lady.

Just read your postie about Tae Kwon Do. DO IT, DO IT, DO IT!!!!!:dancer: :cb: :dance:

Don't wait!!! That's my new motto. Don't wait til you're thinner or more energetic or feeling more brave. Just GET THERE AND DO IT!!!!!

You're a brave lady NOW and I'm so HAAAAAAAPPY!

Thanks!

I start Tae Kwon Do next week and I'm even going to throw in a couple of cardio kickboxing classes too!

I loved TKD and I think that this might be a good way to start moving with something I love taht I don't really consider "exercise" in the same horrible way I think of aerobics! :lol:

I'll even have hubby take a pic of me in my gi and I'll use it as an avatar! :dizzy:

Cerise
09-04-2003, 07:35 PM
Oh, yeah, baby. That's a great idea. MrsK, the butt-kicker!

MrsK
09-04-2003, 07:40 PM
Originally posted by Cerise
Oh, yeah, baby. That's a great idea. MrsK, the butt-kicker!

I don't think I can get my leg up that high yet. Maybe MrsK knee kicker?

QueenB
09-04-2003, 08:04 PM
I'm not actually sure how you took my post.... and in which tone you took it. Let's look again at what I said:

If you feel that it is completely hopeless, then why are you here? Why are you posting in a support thread?

Are you hoping that we will have something magical to say? Are you hoping that one of us will say that one thing that can change your mind?


Your first post sounded so hopeless to me.....it hurt my heart. But to clarify my earlier post to you.... When I asked you why you were here, why were you posting in a support thread?

I think it was and is because you want and need support. I think you know that and I don't think you're ready to lay down and die yet. If you were, you certainly wouldn't be here. :no: So, I'm glad you are here.

This is a wonderful site and has probably saved countless numbers of lives.... literally.

However, I don't think that anyone can say one thing to you that you don't know yourself.... YOU just have to believe it. You have to believe in yourself. It's not enough just for us to believe in you, but it helps doesn't it? We ALL feel hopeless at times, but we can ALL do this. It's just a matter of getting it done.

I'm here if you need a friend. :)

MrsK
09-04-2003, 08:09 PM
Originally posted by QueenB
I'm not actually sure how you took my post.... and in which tone you took it. Let's look again at what I said:



Your first post sounded so hopeless to me.....it hurt my heart. But to clarify my earlier post to you.... When I asked you why you were here, why were you posting in a support thread?

I think it was and is because you want and need support. I think you know that and I don't think you're ready to lay down and die yet. If you were, you certainly wouldn't be here. :no: So, I'm glad you are here.

This is a wonderful site and has probably saved countless numbers of lives.... literally.

However, I don't think that anyone can say one thing to you that you don't know yourself.... YOU just have to believe it. You have to believe in yourself. It's not enough just for us to believe in you, but it helps doesn't it? We ALL feel hopeless at times, but we can ALL do this. It's just a matter of getting it done.

I'm here if you need a friend. :)

Thank you, Tina! I see what you mean now! Please pardon my momentary lack of comprehension.

Cerise
09-04-2003, 09:13 PM
You rule, lady. We ARE all going to do it, 'cause we're in it for the long haul and we're all here together!

mthrgoos68
09-04-2003, 09:23 PM
Wow, what a great first step you taking with the TKD. You absolutely can do this. I reached the point where my body just hurt so much of the time. My knees hurt, my feet hurt, my back hurt. I felt like a little old lady and I'm only 36!! It was terrible. I was tired of getting up EVERY single morning and trying a different diet, only to have already failed by lunch time. I finally realized that if I could just start and do one day, then that would be one day that I wasn't lost. I knew that if I gave in and ate that food, then I would be regretting it in the morning.

It also helped me in the beginning to focus on getting healthy more than on losing weight. I knew that I had failed at so many weight loss attempts, so this time I focused on getting healthy.

You're already making some great steps, just by coming here and by signing up for the TKD. You can do this and you will find lots of great support, help, and encouragment here. I usually post in the 100 lb. Club, and we'd love to have you join us if you'd like to.

QueenB
09-04-2003, 09:24 PM
AGREED! :yes:

Let's all keep our heads up ladies.... The road is long and hard, but we are ALL worth it.

We CAN do this! :cb:

RavenToy
09-04-2003, 10:03 PM
Yay TKD!!! My kids and I got our blue belts in TKD - then ended up moving clear across town, then the school closed. *sigh* But that's ok, we started horseback riding! TKD is great fun, and fantastic exercise! I hope you have a GREAT time!! (You'll be doing head high axe kicks in NO time!)

gettinskinnyforJR
09-05-2003, 01:23 PM
Hi Mrs K!


I couldn't help answering your post. I post in the Jaded Ladies group. We all have different amounts of weight to lose, but one thing I think you should do is eliminate the word "diet" from your vocabulary. I have struggled with my weight for years trying different fad diets and always gain back more than I lost. Look at it as a lifestyle change. Even if you can't do the TKD every day or even every other day, go for a walk, find a friend or loved one to go walking with you. Don't think of it as exercise, think of it as a way to catch up on what's going on in each other's lives, in other words, make it FUN. For instance, my hubby and I have found all kinds of neat houses to look at in our town and some beautiful parks to walk in. We use this time to catch up on what happened during our day and to talk about the future and the things we would like to do or see. As far as eating healthier goes, I began by taking one meal a day where I would usually eat something fatty or high in calories and instead ate a vegetarian meal instead prepared with no added fat or sugar. Keep on posting here, look around at the different groups and forums, if you find one you like, join in, everyone is very supportive. If you would like to post in the Jaded Ladies, or just check us out, we are under the Clubs and Groups forum. You'll find out we talk about everything, we share our heartaches as well as our victories.
Never give up. My motto is,, When life hands you lemons, make a lemon meringue pie, pass that pie to someonelse to make their day brighter!

Cerise
09-05-2003, 02:12 PM
Hey, girl! I'm really with you on that yucky "D" word!

My favorite thing is when thin people talk about what "diet" they're on - I usually jump in with "Man, I'm NEVER gonna diet! Diets are the devil!" and they give me these up-and-down, "Well, you oughta" kind of looks. Pooey on them. :snooty:

I'm trying hard to find some way I can regulate my eating - I don't want to count calories, points, or anything (not sustainable in my opinion), but vague guidelines don't seem to be enough control for little ol' me. Got any opinions, ladies?

You're a smart lady, GettingSkinny. Glad to meet'cha!

srmb60
09-05-2003, 03:02 PM
I can identify with the 'feeling old" part. Actually, I just thought I was looking my age but now I see that I am really younger looking.
Enough sitting in front of the computer. I'm going out for a walk. I was thinking of doing 3K for Mrs. K. Anybody else?

Amanda Panda
09-05-2003, 03:48 PM
You have done the right thing coming to this forum, everyone has different amounts of weight to lose and are doing it in different ways - but you will find that there is ALWAYS someone here who understands whatever it is you are going through.

I think it takes alot of us to reach 'rock bottom' before we can do something to help ourselves - it sounds that reaching 300lb has become your rock bottom. Now you are on the up! You are already sounding more positive and signing up for the TaiKwondo is a great step.

Alot of people lose weight only to put it back on and all those examples you gave- diet pills etc do fail. But the one thing you did not mention was sensible healthy eating. I am changing my lifestyle and my attitude and this is a lifelong thing - I am certainly not on a diet. I am enjoying taking better care of myself and valuing myself enough to stop abusing myself with food. I deserve to be whoever I want to be - and so do you!

If you ever want to talk about depression and attempting suicide (been there, done that) please do not hesitate to PM me.

The very best of luck to you

Amanda xxx

Stepping Out
09-05-2003, 04:36 PM
I'm so glad to hear that you're going to be trying again with Tae Kwon Doe. Just think, not only does this benefit you, but it will also serve as an inspiration to your daughter. You asked yourself at the beginning of this thread "Why Bother?" You've already mentioned a daughter who loves you, an instructor who cares, but most especially YOU! Do it for yourself! Do it while you're still relatively young.

I think we've all been where you are now Mrs. K. I've been fighting this battle all my life, and sometimes I think "Why Bother?" I'm a lot older (53), but I've still got a lot to give to this life. Queen B and I both post on the "300 + and ready to try again" thread. Come on over and visit! There is so much support on this website. Don't give up! We can do this TOGETHER!





:balloons:

SW: 316/CW 308 (?)/ GW 170's

Aquareggie
09-05-2003, 06:03 PM
I am so jealous! Always wanted to try TKD. Good for you! :D

AR

Marti
09-06-2003, 02:02 PM
Hi MrsK-

I'm so glad that you decided to visit 3FC. To me that says that you know that you truly do matter in this world and things are worth living for. Taking the step to just talk is a big one and coming here you will see that you'll get ALL the support and encouragement that you're looking for.

I also post with the Jaded Ladies and we talk about all our ups downs, just about anything. So feel free to visit us.

I congratulate you on signing back up to do TKD. I always thought that would be something I would like to try but have yet to do so. TKD is a great way to get in a workout. What a way to get involve with what your daughter is interested in and have fun!! Once you've been doing it again for awhile you'll never regret it. I'm sure down the road we'll be seeing you posting all about your high kicks and how good you're feeling!! We'll all be cheering you on.

I hope you decide to stay with us and find place you feel comfortable in. Feel free to visit the Jaded Ladies and let us know how you're doing. I have all the confidence in you that you'll do great in your weight loss journey. Just like the rest of us.
Take Care
Marti

Amarantha2
09-06-2003, 06:19 PM
Way To Go!!! Mrs. Knee Kicker!!!!!


:jig: :strong: :dancer: :jig: :strong: :dancer: :jig: :strong: :dancer:

TrudyL
09-07-2003, 05:25 PM
Hey MrsK:

Been there done that! All kinds of diets, Weight Watchers, Overeaters A nonymous, you name it I've done it. I am in a heelchair due to MS. I tipped the scales at 287.

What got me going? Diagnosed with Type II diabetes. What keeps me going? Three kids - none of whom I want to see ending up like me. They are already chubby and with the possibility of inheiriying diabetes, I need to be the grownup and set the example.

So the pantry is cleaned out, new habits are being created, and after two weeks on Sugar Busters and a doctor-supervised 1200 calorie eating plan, I now weigh 277.

It works. Trust me!

TrudyL