[ma26]

I wasn't sure where the best place to post this would be. Since I have lost the weight by cleaning up my diet and counting calories I decided to post here, but I would love input from anyone! Also I did end up "going where my typing took me" and writing about my weight loss experience. I edited this before posting to have my question right at the start. Then I go into my long story. So please read the question and respond and then if you feel like reading about my journey from 215 to 167 lbs then reads on from there.

As you got closer to goal have you noticed that people who used to look "tiny" and "thin" and in amazing shape that you used to think "I could never look like her" now look more "normal" to you? It is funny also that the same effect has not happened on the other side. At my gym there are alot of really in shape people that workout really consistently. When I first started coming to the gym all the time these people looked very small and below average size to me. Not that they looked bad or "skinny" in any negative sense. It's more like I felt like I was the old plow horse surrounded by the rare unicorns that grace the covers of fitness magazines. These were not my peers but instead these were "hard-core" unattainable for me standard of fitness people. Fast forward to today and these people still look amazing and I realize I likely dont have the genetic makeup to look like that, but they don't look like unicorns anymore. They look like normal people. Thinner than the average on the street but they dont look like "crazy fit" people anymore and instead just look fit and good. On the flip side when I see people around who used to be smaller than me or my size and have maintained, those people don't look like they are any bigger as I have gotten smaller than they are. So my experience is that as I get thinner other people that are thinner look more normal (but no less good) but those who are bigger don't look any bigger. Has anyone else found your perceptions of other's sizes changing as you lose weight?

And here is the long side story I warned you about.

I haven't been active on here recently, but in the past year have lost around 40 lbs. 48 lbs from my highest pre-pregnancy weight. I am not at goal yet but I am now within 10-20 lbs of my ultimate goal I believe (figure I'll know when I get there?). Right now if I didn't lose any more weight I would be happy, not rocking a bikini or feeling like I no weight I could lose, but this is a good place I am in and I am so proud of the strong body and better relationship with food that I have nurtured over this 2 1/2 year long journey since becoming pregnant with my daughter.

Anyways my question is for any of you who have either lost or gained (or both) weight an whether you had a similar perception change that I have. When I was at my heaviest non pregnant weight (215) I knew by the size I had to wear and by the number on the scale that I was overweight and not in a weight range that was a happy weight for me. But while I knew that by BMI charts and clothing sizes my weight was technically overweight and even obese I never really felt like an overweight person. I had been over weight for 4 years or more, but prior to that I was usually a healthy weight even when I wasn't a happy weight. My realization that I really had become overweight didn't happen until after Christmas 4 years ago. My step-daughter had got a new dance game. We were playing together and this game would video record you and then after the song you could play back an edited version of your dancing. It was very fun and funny but before I could laugh at our goofy dancing skills I was completely floored by my image in motion. I actually thought and forgive my use of this word "Who is that fat lady bouncing around my living room?" I knew it was me of course but I could not identify with this heavy woman who had gotten up to where she was pushing 200 lbs.

That was the point that I excepted that I was no longer a "healthy weight range BMI standards" person and I needed to lose weight not only to look better and feel a bit better but for the first time in my life I needed to lose weight for my health. In fact that same year at the doctor was the first time a doctor told me that I needed to lose weight.

I wish I could say that this was the catalyst that set me on the right path, but it was not. In fact I continued to slowly gain weight. Early in 2015 my husband and I decided to try for our first baby together. I had been putting it off the last few years because I had this ideal notion that I should be in the best shape of my life and eating super healthfully when I get pregnant. I still think that it would be ideal to be your healthiest self when you are using your body to grow a life, but my DH had just turned 40 and I was at the time 31 and realized that waiting for an "ideal" time was not realistic. So I got off the pill and thought I would work toward this weight loss I needed and that it would probably take a little time to get pregnant and I would be able to get healthier. Well I was lucky in that I got pregnant right away. I had horrible morning sickness and did end up losing about 15 lbs in a couple months.

Growing my precious daughter inside me worked as a wakeup call for my food habits and I ate healthier than I had in years. I ended up gaining the proper amount of weight and my doctor was happy with my DDs progress. This time also taught me some patience. It was crazy that I was finally in the head space to eat better and be healthier but I was not able to lose weight because I was pregnant. Having that time to nurture myself and my baby really helped me mentally prepare for losing the weight later. I was eating better than I had in years and I felt like I couldn't wait to be able to get to the gym and exercise more again.

After she was born I was soon back to the 15 lbs lighter than I had been before getting pregnant. I spent those first few months continue to eat healthier to ensure I was nursing my daughter with the best possible nutrition, not that I was perfect and didn't eat junk food, but I was still conscience of eating lots of fruits and vegetables to ensure good nutrition for my baby. I hoped the nursing would help the lbs fall off like they did for my sister. This didn't happen for me. While eating mostly good food I was eating a lot of food and including less than healthy food pretty frequently. I ended up gaining around 5-7 lbs in that first 3 months. So 3 months after having my daughter I was heading back to work and determined to get active again. I joined a gym and started working out almost every morning before work. I didn’t focus on changing my eating. I was still getting lots of nutrient dense food and plenty of not so nutrient dense food and I was SO HUNGRY from nursing. Getting back to the gym I felt so weak and I hated how I looked in tight fitting exercise cloths, especially compared to all the fit people at my gym, but I kept at it almost every day. This was working slowly but surely and in 8 months I lost around 15 lbs on the scale and had gone down a whole pants size and gained some strength and muscle. At this point there was a challenge that I decided to participate in. This challenge ended up being the catalyst to expedite the weight loss and in 2 months I lost another 15 lbs. by continuing my workout habits I’d established and cleaning the junk food out of my diet and counting calories in my fitness pal. Now about 1 year since starting the gym I am 38 lbs down from when I started at the gym and feeling better than I have ever felt. I feel strong and fit and actually enjoy shopping for any trying on cloths. Things are still getting looser and I have made new goals for fitness that I’m working towards.
For me having a set time frame of that challenge of 2 months really got me to the next level. It was long enough to really make those changes permanent, but short enough that when I was first making those changes I was able tell myself that “I can have this again in a couple months” and that “it’s only a couple months. I can do anything for a couple months”. Also the community of people I met going the gym was huge. I knew that if I didn’t show up then those people would notice and miss me, and everyone was encouraging even when I was so out of shape and slower and weaker than everyone else around.
Getting healthier and getting stronger has so many benefits beyond just looking better in your jeans. I feel so strong and like I can take on the world now. I have energy and mornings are so much better than they were in my old life. Like everyone who has had success on here would say, if I can do this you can too. For me it took a number of things to come together for me to be ready to make these changes stick and make this work. I had to first get in the mental space that enabled the changes. Having my daughter as the initial reason to eat better was more powerful for me than changing things for my own health. Find a good reason to start and don’t worry if it takes a while at each step. It has been over a two year journey for me and while the visible results have mostly come here at the end of that time the changes that started way back then are why I could get here.