I think that to be successful at long-term weight loss, you have to find a way not to let slip-ups turn into extended stretches of overeating, and not to indulge in orgies of self-flagellation. A person is unlikely to have long-term success if she can't get right back on plan after an off-plan event, whether that's a piece of cake or an indulgent vacation. And, she's unlikely to have long-term success if she's miserable from hating on herself all the time.
So, for me, I know I am really in the groove not when I never make off-plan choices, but when I get myself back on plan with the very next bite of food. When an off-plan event is just that - a one-time thing that I did mindfully and that is now over, not a sin or a crime or a sign of the diet apocalypse - it's time to get back on plan, no judgment, no moralizing, no penitence required.
I have tried rewards for mini-goals in the past but the truth is they don't work well for me. The very process of losing weight already taxes my power of delayed gratification to its limits - if I want a book or some music or a piece of electronics equipment or whatever other rewards people use for themselves, I'm just going to get it. I don't have the mental energy to tie those gifts to myself onto reaching weight loss or plan milestones.
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