Is there a limit to how many times you can come back to this place?
I know there isn't really, but if there was...I'm sure I'd be hitting it right about now. The two times I have actually committed to staying active on these forums, I easily lost 50 lbs and got into a much healthier mindset. But, then I was totally derailed again back in 2014 when I gained all of my weight back through a pregnancy, and I have failed to stick with anything since. And, I have greatly suffered for that failure. I am now at my highest weight ever, nearly 300 lbs. I feel like death most of the time and have almost no energy or desire to do much of anything because of it. And, now I have reached such a low point that this lack of vitality has put my marriage in danger as well. I don't do as much with our kids as I used to, which is sad, because I was always the fun and adventurous parent....but now, I just...exist.
So, what I'm saying is...my mindset isn't there yet, but this month has been a wakeup call for me. Knowing now that I no longer have the comfort in knowing that I'm not about to lose everything that matters to me. It doesn't matter if "I feel like it" anymore. I HAVE TO MAKE THIS CHANGE. Forgive the caps lock...I'm shouting it at myself more than anything.
What are some breakthroughs that some of you have made to get that engine running in the right direction initially? I know that, once I do that, I will be fine because I have run this course before. I just need a big, fat slap to the face. And, by face, I mean my motivation's proverbial face. I am at a turning point in my life, and I need this to be the one I look back on with pride and gratefulness, and not the one that I look back on to realize was the downfall of everything I hold dear.
Sorry if I just droned on too long, but just trying to write this all out for myself as much as reintroducing myself to the group. Looking for people who might be in the same boat.
Last edited by opheliaphoenix; 12-28-2016 at 01:18 PM.
Welcome back! I think the realisation that change is in order has been a big step in the right direction. For me there were a few situations that eventually made me turn the switch on.
1) Working in the states (I'm from Scotland), I went to Universal in Florida for a holiday after working at camp back in 2014. I didn't fit in the Harry Potter ride, even with the extensions. I would of fit if the guy put any effort into it (I have big boobies), but he didn't, so I didn't, and it was so embarrassing.
2) In October 2015, I attended wedding 2/6 of my best friends. All other best friends have beautiful wives and gf's who are quite small in height and slim. After seeing the wedding photo's I stood like an ogre at 5ft 6 and double the size of everyone else.
3) I play in Scottish music gigs in Germany, and one time had to fly without my seat belt on properly because I was too embarrassed to ask for the extender. The same trip I really struggled to fit into my kilt .
4) I had came home after being in Germany 3 times back to back (2 tours and one to see best friend #1 who lived there), in January 2016. I had enjoyed lots of beer, food, partying and long bus journeys, came home and weighed in at 323lbs. It was the most I had ever been, considering I had always been trying to lose before the extra gain.
It was this fourth thing that made me realise that I knew how to lose weight, I was just not putting it into practice. It wasn't like I was missing any knowledge on basic weight loss, eat less calories than your body needs to burn by just being you. I knew that diet was 80% weight loss, I knew how to work out.... but the motivation was lacking considerably. When I realised that in 2017 I would have wedding 3/6 in June and 4/6 in November, I refused to be the ogre again. It made me start to think about what I wanted to look like, and what I wanted out of weight loss, If I could have any body I wanted, what would I want? For me it was to be toned, strong, and healthy.
I also knew that from past experience, I would always set myself goals that weren't sustainable, like losing 2lbs a week. Eventually I would plateau, and then feel deflated at not losing on target and give up. So I thought that if I lost just 1 lb a week, that would make me 52lbs lighter by this time next year, it would also give me the chance to tone while losing to reduce the chances of badly sagging skin. I know that after a 155lb loss I may need a little tummy tuck to feel great about myself, but I wanted to reduce the effects as much as possible.
I changed my mentality to "when I lose" instead of "If I lose". I started investing myself an buying house items that would keep me on track - Kitchen scales - measuring cups - downloaded My Fitness Pal - Bathroom scales that measure body fat - 2.5lb dumbells - resistance bands. These were all bought over the first 6 months, I am on week 48 and am 43lbs lighter than I was this time last year. I am a little behind, but I plan on catching up after having a crazy Christmas.
I also plan to start weight lifting.
I think for you, you need to draw out a plan, make some cool goals! gets excited about it, maybe start a new sport, do you have a fitbit?
I hope the motivation finds you and that the switch just goes on.
I am sending you all the internet hugs. I hear your pain and wish good things for you.
I feel like I was in your position earlier this year. I was feeling really broken and down when I hit my highest weight ever this year. My husband was having trouble and I just coped with food and got really really big. Like gained 30lbs in three months. I was always big, but this was kind of epic for me. I was having problems standing for long periods of time and it was interfering with my work and I went nuclear and ended up in a doctor supervised program. My health, my sanity and my family needed me. I think that was what finally did it for me. I finally started posting here too, after just reading for years. I think I finally realized I needed help and people and I couldn't just do it on my own.
It seems like you have successfully dieted much more than I have, and kept it off too, so hats off to you. I think you may understand the road we are on better than I do. I am sending so much love and hope for you. This new year is yours, you can do it. I hope you find much support and love here. All my best for the new year.
Reading your post feels like I'm reading a post that I should have written. Let me start by saying (and I'm saying this for you and for me and for everyone) that the only way to fail our journeys is for us to quit altogether. You see how you've returned to this forum, even if inconsistently? You haven't given up. If it takes you 2 years to pick up again, the fact that you've picked up again means that you're still in it. We're all here becauae we want to eventually reach our goals and although lost progress always feels bad, it is not eqivalent to failure.
My turning point happened last week when I put my clothes on and they fit just so wrong. When I noticed that my skin was cracking from dehydration, my face had no glow due to lack of activity, I've been depleted of energy and couldn't get out of bed in the morning thanks to a diet of take out and Ramen.
My plan of action was to set a dietary and physical goal, and then find a form of accountability. Dietary: no more chips and chocolates around the house with a strong focus on eating clean. Physical: hit the gym 6 days a week, 3 cardio and 3 strength. I got my boyfriend on board with me to work out 6 days a week (separately) and I created a 30 day January 'commit to be fit' thread on here (being the leader makes me feel like I have double the responsibility to be successful!) It's always difficult for me to find accountability with my diet, but I've started logging everything I eat on MyFitnessPal and Instagramming my healthy choices. I guess I'm just your standard millenial but utilizing social media always motivates me.
It always boils down to this formula for me when I finally dig myself out of a hole and decide to get back on the wagon: accept it will be hard before it is easy, and take advantage of old patterns that lead to weight loss and/or healthier living. Triggers work both ways so if you know there are things that give you a rush (like Instagramming my healthy food, for me) then do those. things in abundance until you have found your own momentum.
Thank you so much for the support Scotsgal, kittens, and xRiotGirl! I just saw that there were replies to this, because I jumped right into several threads on the forums. A lot of good points made, and I'm happy to say that I still have a lot of the tools I used to use like a good scale, some workout things (though I will need to expand on this), and have just started using MFP again today. Also got a new water bottle and a larger jug to hold cold water in the refrigerator, so drinking water like a fish again as of today as well...lol.
I will be keeping your guys' advice and stories in mind...it helps to know I'm not alone in these feelings. I know that weight loss and the struggles that go with it are a very common thing, but I have no one locally that I can commiserate with, celebrate with, or even just talk to when things get hard. I do have my husband, but his is a fit Soldier who thinks that all of this is or should be easy because he already has that 'just do it and get it done' mentality because that is what he is used to, so he doesn't quite get my struggle like you guys do. I'll get to that head space eventually, but it's definitely not a place you start at when you're this far out of shape, you know? So...hugs all around and thank you again!
P.S. And, I'm totally jealous of your being from Scotland, Scotsgal...lol.
Scotsgal - I'm from Butte County, which is about 3.5-4 hours directly East of there. It's quite a ways off the coastline, but the Fort Bragg/Mendocino area is a lovely place that was one of my favorite places to visit when we had the time. Lots of good memories there!
I'm a few months late on this, but I was lurking (as usual) and this caught my attention. You have found the words to express my heart. Thank you for sharing so openly and letting me know I'm not alone! Nobody tells you the mental and emotional repercussions of weight gain. Not only do I not recognize my body, I no longer recognize myself. Now I am trying to make a change yet again, and on the hard days (every day, really....) posts like these keep me going. So thank you.
Is there a limit to how many times you can come back to this place?
.
the weather is bad 
