[Angeldove97]

I love and adore my husband - he is my biggest supporter and helper in life. But he has his own diet issues and I'm tired of having them get in my way of needing to lose weight. (But he REALLY is a great person )

For the last few months, I've been working on small components of an overall lifestyle diet. I'm really proud of the progress I've made and wanted to step it up further. This past week I had 4 days off and I started working on a food diet component. Today I set a schedule, created some set goals, and a reward for myself at the end of the month for June. I shared those goals with my husband - certain days I'm fasting around 600 calories and on non-fasting days I'm eating 1500 calories. This will create a calorie deficeit of 2-3 pounds a week - I'll tweek it as I go.

Hubby was all fine with the good and the "bad" days and my reward for myself if I meet my challenge. Shared that he would be supportive, as I knew he would be.

Two hours pass and dinner time is rolling around - he wants to go to a great cheeseburger place that has frozen custard for dinner. I asked him if we could just get stuff to make burgers - that would let us save some $$$ and I could easily make a veggie burger/thin sliced bun for myself and control the calories (I could create 3 of those veggie burgers for the calorie intake of 1 cheeseburger). In starts the pissy attitude from him - and the comment "Well you'll just get your way or you'll just pout".



I told him no I wasn't trying to get my way - I'm trying to avoid a situation where I could spend too many calories on food and I know I can't go there right now and control what I order. We went food shopping instead - but I called him out again on the way home about him being angry at me for not wanting to go out.

Hubby said he was angry but he knew it wasn't my fault - he started to change his attitude after that. I know I can call bs on him and his attitude when it makes sense, but I hate hate hate upsetting him.

I know that one of the things that will need to change is me giving him to him about food. It is going to be difficult enough dealing with my own emtional eating and food craves - this third component: handling my husband and his food cravings I think is going to be just as difficult as the other two.

Any suggestions on how to keep working on myself with/without my spouse's support? I know this stems deeper than just about me - he needs to work on himself - but I need some ideas on how to keep myself going through this problem.

[SeeMyFeet]

Tell him, he can order take-out, bring his food home and eat with you at the dining table. That way, you save the money that would have been spent on your meal, and you consume fewer calories. (you can even light candles and put on music before he gets home ).

Or, you can package all your meals for the day and take one with you to eat in the restaurant with the DH. (if the restaurant will allow that)

I know you're just starting out, but eventually, the saving money and saving calories will be two separate things. In the meantime, picnics, separate meals, feeding him things you don't like,...

[ennay]

Pre plan and pre shop as much as possible so that the question of "what's for dinner" doesnt have time to come up.

Learn to be around food that he wants. I have 3 family members who all need a lot more calories than I do. I roast up sweet potato for me at the beginning of the week and have a small portion all while continuing to make their "loaded mashed baked potato" or whatever. Try to find ways to incorporate meals. I save a few extra calories for dinner because we eat that together. I make the main part something we all enjoy and add a second veggie for me and something starchy or cheesy for them. I make taco soup for us, they eat it with tortilla chips, sour cream and cheese, I eat it with a little avocado. etc.

Look at all of the restaurant possibilities that he likes to go to. Look at all of the menus and pick ahead of time what you COULD order if you went there. Some restaurants there is just no hope for, others you can modify and do pretty well. When he wants to go out, offer up one of the ones you have a plan for. He can order whatever he wants, it is your job to stick to your plan. My local mexican will serve tortilla soup without the tortillas and cheese, and I can have ceviche tostada but not eat the tostada. At the thai place I can get tom yum soup and they have a chicken stir fry, etc. Adjust your plan to accommodate dining out say once a week. I trim 50 calories off Sunday -Friday which gives me extra for saturday night.

You'll get less kick back if he doesnt feel like he is being forced to diet against his will.