Flippin' Father-in-Law. Grrrrr - 3 Fat Chicks on a Diet Weight Loss Community

Raisin5Cookies · 10-30-2015, 05:31 AM

I've been overweight since having children, and my FIL always likes to mention it. The only reason I haven't flown off the handle at him about his comments is that we very rarely see him - the last time I saw him was summer of 2014, and my youngest was 10 months old.

This year I've released a lot of weight and even though I don't know the number on the scale, I'm nearly a size UK12 on both top and bottom.

I was looking on eBay last night and found a gorgeous Monsoon dress - navy, form-fitting, lacy cocktail length. I shared it on Facebook saying how much I love it and this is what happens:

FIL: Size 12

BIL: Your kidding yourself pops if you think your a size 12

Me: ((steam comes out ears)) Yup.

(the "yup" could be interpreted as me either agreeing with FIL or BIL)

AAARRRGGHHH. Why does he care what size I wear anyway? He clearly thought to mention the size because he doesn't think I noticed? Or that I would be ashamed of my mistake? Regardless of how big/small I am, comments from him are never welcome. Grr.

I might be reading too much into it. Please feel free to give me a virtual shake if you think so. I just needed to vent.

leopardspots · 10-30-2015, 08:58 AM

Thats so rude! So completely obnoxious and unnecessary. I really don't understand men that think that their insight on a woman's weight or size is ever wanted. A UK size 12 is a great size too. I would kill to get into that!

You should put him in his place. Or your husband should. Its not a one-off comment and he needs to stop.

Munchy · 10-30-2015, 09:01 AM

Yep, hubby needs to step it up and just say that comments about his wife's body are entirely inappropriate and to STFU!

Raisin5Cookies · 10-30-2015, 10:52 AM

Thanks, ladies. I totally agree that hubby needs to say something. I complained about it to him and he said he would do something about it. Blah.

Watercolor · 10-30-2015, 11:28 AM

What jerks.

You're a better chick than I am, Raisin.
I would have gone all sarcastic.
"I'm SO glad you commented on my weight.
I was afraid I'd have to spend the rest of my life not being put down."

GRRRRRRRR

Raisin5Cookies · 10-30-2015, 12:59 PM

Just shared this quote on my FB:

If I feel good about my parenting, I have no interest in judging other people's choices. If I feel good about my body, I don't go around making fun of other people's weight or appearance. We're hard on each other because we're using each other as a launching pad out of our own perceived deficiency.

Slightly passive aggressive? You betcha!!

Munchy · 10-30-2015, 02:10 PM

My grandmother can be abrasive and passive aggressive. I started replying to her (and others at work) with a nice look in the eye and "wow, that was rude!"

People don't necessarily like hear that, even if it's true.

love2b150 · 10-30-2015, 02:16 PM

We need like buttons here ...

Raisin5Cookies · 10-30-2015, 02:20 PM

Love it, Munchy! Honesty is important.

leopardspots · 10-30-2015, 02:33 PM

I know munchy! My husbands grandma once commented at THANKSGIVING DINNER that I'd gained weight and my response was an astonished "Really?!?" She was so embarrassed and everyone that saw the interaction high-fived me later. Though, in her defense she was 90-something, and that was the only brainless one-off comment she ever made about it. So I forgave her. She's 101 now and doesn't recognize my husband anymore.

PrairieQueen · 10-30-2015, 02:46 PM

How rude! My own father used to make little comments about my weight and I was still little Size 6/8 (old school sizes) under 130 lbs. My now ex-husband used to get furious and finally said something to him. Before that my paternal grandpa used to nag me about being skinny. In my 30s I grew to a size 10 and my mother started with the comments. I went up to a 14 now back down to a 10 and steadily shrinking and mommy dearest is a size 14 (up from her size 6/8). When she visits at Christmas, I'm going to ask her if she'd like my now-too-big clothes

Raisin5Cookies · 10-30-2015, 02:54 PM

Oooh, snap! My mom has struggled with her weight her entire life, and is supremely jealous of my loss.

We don't bring it up.

Raisin5Cookies · 10-30-2015, 07:27 PM

I totally take it back about my momma. She saw the facebook exchange and BOUGHT ME THE DRESS!

I wasn't going to buy it because money is tight and I didn't want to risk it not fitting me right. But now it's coming home to me! Aaaahhh. She's so sweet.

PrairieQueen · 10-30-2015, 07:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Raisin5Cookies

I totally take it back about my momma. She saw the facebook exchange and BOUGHT ME THE DRESS!

I wasn't going to buy it because money is tight and I didn't want to risk it not fitting me right. But now it's coming home to me! Aaaahhh. She's so sweet.

Fantastic!! I could only hope ....

applevalleygirl · 10-31-2015, 04:25 PM

My opinion is don't wait for your hubby to say something to your FIL. You need to speak up for yourself and be assertive. Tell him how you feel about his comments. Tell him in front of everyone and if that doesn't embarrass him it will embarass others for you and you may find that others may jump in to your defense when you voice how you feel. Also, your hubby will get the message and probably speak up from then on.

But frankly, I love Munchy's response. I have used it before when a person is being rude to me in public. It always shuts them up and from that moment on they tend not to challenge me anymore... unless they want an earful.