[polka23]

Back story... I've been overweight my entire life. I lost a total of 40 pounds before meeting my boyfriend. This was three years ago. Since then, I have more or less maintained the weight loss. This last year, however, I completed my second year of law school. Unfortunately I also gained 12 pounds.

My boyfriend and I flew to visit his family immediately after our last final exam, so I did not even get a chance to decompress. Okay so the very first day I was there, his mother brought out some clothes she had bought for
me. She accused me of lying to her about my size--she said, "this isn't your size, this is Sarah's size". Sarah is my boyfriends older brother's girlfriend. She then said "well you can slim down". Later on she said "oh you mainly just gained weight in your belly", poking at my stomach as she did so. Then a couple of days later she brought up my weight again, asking both my boyfriend and I how often we worked out.

The irony is that at the same time, she is a horrible food pusher. I know all mothers are, but I just can't deal with it. This visit was two weeks ago. Ever since then I have been in a slump. I am a recovering bulimic and for a couple of days her words triggered a relapse.. I just feel horrible about myself, I feel like I'm not good enough for my boyfriend at all. Sometimes I dissolve in tears, sometimes I get mad, but I feel like I can never unhear what she said. Have any of you been in a similar situation?

[Diamondonalandmine]

All off that bs was HER issue, not yours!
I'd have asked her why she is paying so much attention to the body of someone she is not, nor will ever be, intimate with

[polka23]

Diamondonandmine, that is very true... It is definitely her issue, and I recognize it but it still hurts. Sometime I wonder if she is projecting or something. The very first time I visited, she said something like "you might gain the weight back" when I told her I had lost weight. I hate to be whiny but I feel really vulnerable about this, my weight has always been a sore spot. Up until now, I was so proud of myself for making it through school that I didn't even think about my weight. I knew I had gained a little back, but I wasnt depressed about it, for the first time I had a healthy attitude about my weight. Now I just feel like crap.

[Icontrolmyweight]

You are NOT whiney, how you feel is extremely legitimate and how she acted was way out of line. It is your body, and not her's, so she has no right whatsoever to decide for you how you are going to feel about it. If she wants to put down a body, the only one she is entitled to belittle is her own.

You were in law school, you're in a relationship, you are living your life. Every single one of us is susceptible to weight gain when we are out in the world busy doing important things. What matters is whether or not YOU are happy with your weight. If you are, she can go F herself, if you're not, then you can treat your body with love and nourish it with healthy food and exercise until you are in a place where you feel healthy, then you can maintain it with the same things. (Oh yeah, and she can still go F herself.)

This is YOUR body and YOU live in it every day, she has nothing to do with it. She had no right to act that way and, as hard as it is to not let people get to you like that, putting it into perspective...it sounds like she is a pretty unpleasant person, and you sound just lovely.