Welcome to the forum, Crystal. I am so very sorry for your loss.
I agree with SAS. By exercising and even by posting here you are taking back control. Is it possible for you to move somewhere where you have family and close friends? Having people around you who love you might be important to help combat depression and maybe help you feel more in control of your life. ♥
Unfortunately, sweets are my downfall too. I realized this time around I would do much better at sticking to it if I didn't cut out 'bad' foods, but rather work them into my eating plans and slowly cut out the overeating of them. Just stopping eating sweets cold turkey causes me to have somewhat of a binge at some point down the road.
The aspartame in Diet Coke has bad side effects for heavy drinkers. Unfortunately aspartame is in almost all diet drinks. But I honestly don't know if it affects weight loss.
I also do Leslie Sansone dvd's and enjoy taking walks with my dog. When it's warmer.
I don't think you've lost control, Crystal. Maybe just lost your way a bit.
You're clearly finding your way back to fully gaining control again.