[Ubee]

WELCOME!!

We are a group of individuals who weigh or have weighed 300+, or near there. This group was formed to provide a place for others like us to find support, inspiration, and hope. We are aware of the distinct problems that come with weighing over 300 lbs.

We want to invite everyone (roosters as well as chicks!) to join us in our journey. We share laughter and tears, heartaches and fears ... joys and celebrations. We also share what works for us and what doesn't.

We have found this thread to be more than just a support group... we have found it to become a home. We invite you to join us!

[Ubee]

Hi everyone!
I am doing well. My computer has been down but our daughter worked on it yesterday and has it back up and running for now.
Fi I am sorry to hear you are still having pain. However, I am very pleased to hear all is once again running smoothly with Grace and her parents. How are the kitties?
Betsy have fun at your party today and enjoy eating some cheese. I still have a long ways to go to get my 10 pounds off by Valentines but I am going to get as close as I can. By the way glad you caught the joke about my MIL. Yes, I do have a strange sense of humor. Yes, she is still with us...
Terra it looks like your ticker has been moving down. Keep up your hard work.
Sam I read about your unwelcome guests. Good for you for doing as well as you did. I would have used that as an easy excuse to go way off plan.
Donna glad you are better. Let me know when the lambs are born.
Silent how is it going?
Melissa sending prayers for your mom.
Bllondy how are the smoothies coming?
Tami hope everyone is well and you are getting back into your routine.
Welcome tootsie and Fireball!
Sorry if I missed anyone but I gotta run for now.
Have a peaceful day!

[betsy2013]

How did it get to be February already?! Ubee, thanks for starting up the new month's thread -- and hope that things settle down for you soon so you can get back to your regular posting (and because that means that things in your life are smooth sailing). We all miss you!

Donna -- You sound so much better and I had this image of you in a Superman outfit leaping tall buildings. Yes, my mind works in its own mysterious way. Looking forward to your daughter's wedding will be so much fun. And I'm sure that you'll look beautiful -- especially since you already have your outfit for the big day! And mending fences with family will bring more happiness. You're making so many positive changes in your life right now -- good for you!

I finally got around to starting the cleaning of the house yesterday but still need to vacuum today. I was really looking forward to having a few friends over, but once they found out that the couple who invited themselves are coming, every one else came up with an excuse to stay home. I'm sure it will be fine, but I'm not particularly looking forward to today -- not to mention that I bought food for about 8 people and now there will be 3 of us.

Fi, I know that you weigh just once a month -- in fact, you moved your scales to the basement as I recall. And Sam, you have a weigh in day. For those of you who aren't addicted to weighing yourself like I am, do you find that it helps you with staying on track with your eating to not weigh yourself every day? I ask because I find that if I lose a few pounds it seems to cause a chain reaction of allowing myself to eat.

Guess I'd better get it in gear. The floors are calling, and I'd like to get the bookkeeping done before the company shows up. Have a great day.

[betsy2013]

Ubee -- Looks like we were posting at the same time. Glad to see you back, me losing 10 pounds by Valentine's is going to take an act of God so we're in the same leaky boat.

[tootsieroll81]

Hi ladies. If I keep posting regularly, I think that it might help me stay on track. Been a bad couple of days, eating wise. One of my children is a year older, so we had cake... Not just any cake, the super sweet/rich cake from Wal Mart bakery. Still staying within the calorie range, but my stomach feels gross. I have an ache in my right side as well. It happens after extremely sugary meals. Sugary meals used to not bother me. I pretty much lived on carbs for a while. Maybe this is a good thing?

Seriously wondering the point of marriage. I was perfectly happy living in sin, as some people call, with one child by him, and one on the way. He insisted on marriage because we'd already been together for several years and we would get tax benefits, and I'd be on his insurance. Here it is eight years later, and I'm not sure that either of us are happy. I want to be with my spouse, but I'm not certain that he wants to be with me. This isn't from anything he said, but from some of the horrible "secret" thoughts that men post about their fat wives online. They act like ladies are subhuman because we dared to age and gain weight. Never mind that they aren't exactly spring roosters themselves. My spouse hasn't said a word, but I'm fairly certain that he'd rather have someone thinner, and much younger. I can't turn back time. I can shed pounds, but I will never have a "model" body. I've had c-sections, and getting rid of that pouch is almost impossible barring surgery.

I can't lose this weight for him. I know that no matter what I do, I will never be what he desires physically. I can't make him happy. Only he can. He can make one of two choices: live with the fact that I'm not perfect, and be happy with my other traits, or he can move on. This very well could just be my fears. Maybe he's fine right where he is. All I know is that I have to do this for me, for my own well-being. Do I love myself enough to do that? Truth is, I don't know yet. We place so much emphasis on what others think. Maybe it's time that I only care what I think.

[thewickedcityx]

Hi everyone. This is my first time posting on here although I have lurked off and on. I recently reached a high of 360 pounds and decided I needed to do something about it. I'm down to 347.6 which isn't much but it's a start. Just looking to share the struggle in hopes it'll make it easier. It's nice to have support from those who truly understand where you're coming from. So hi everyone!

[Fiona W]

Good morning February people! My birthday is in February: this year I turn SIXTY on the 22nd. So anyway, I've always had a good feeling about this month, and I grew up in a place (Houston, Texas) whether the weather was quite pleasant in February. In fact, the new bikinis went on sale right around the time of my birthday. Since I was a bikini-wearing teenager, that was a good thing. And the azaleas and camellias were in bloom!

I'll stop chattering about Houston, because for those of you who follow my collage, I have a new one up, titled "the messenger". (Click on the image for a larger version.) This one is quite strange. Maybe you can tell me what it's about. =laugh=

wicked— Welcome to the thread! I'd say more, but I need to drink my coffee first.

[tootsieroll81]

Good morning everyone. Sorry about the negative post the other day.

Wicked: Welcome.

Betsy: In awe of your energy. I'm not in a good place mentally, so summoning the energy to do much of anything seems impossible. I suspect that I may have SAD. I seem to feel better once winter is over, days are longer, and it warms up.

Fi: Happy birthday! Never wore a bikini. Something that sounds like it may have been fun if I wasn't so self-conscious. I was never thin, but even if I was, I don't think that I could ever wear one. I don't even wear shorts or sleeveless shirts. Wow... 60 years. I'd love to live at least that long. Would love to live past 100. You probably have loads of interesting stories. The flowers sound beautiful as well. I like roses and lilac.

[Fiona W]

Tootsie says, "Sorry about the negative post the other day."

Wouldn't y'all agree, my fellow chatters, that you never need to apologize for a posting on this thread? Negative experiences and emotions are just, if not more than, as important as positive ones.

[Ubee]

Good Morning!
Fi I agree that in our posts need to share what we are going through so we can learn, grow, understand what we are going through. A huge part of this is the mental work.
Interesting collage. The two images that stuck out to me were the two women seeming to observe the others activities and the fact that they were not happy campers. Just my thoughts and me sorting through some stuff in my life. Thanks for sharing Fi.
Tootsie I found your post so interesting. First how you may be projecting how other men think negativity onto your husband. Those men that always want a newer model are really just unhappy with themselves and think they need a new model to be happy. Are you sure some of those thoughts aren't really your own regrets? I really think it is great you've shared all that because we can always learn from each other and I saw my old self in that post. I was having trouble with my self worth and could not understand how my husband could love me and be attracted to me. (I get it now.) Your post also stands out to me in the way that you are ready to put yourself first and do what needs to be done. Good job.
Welcome wicked! your loss so far is great. At our starting weights it is going to take a while to get down to where we want. It really is a life long journey so get comfy and plan on staying.
Betsy how was your party. I did not watch the game but my husband said it was a very good game. As for your scale question I have gone back to weekly weighing. I am most successful that way but only if I have to be accountable to someone else.
Hi to everyone else.
So, while my computer was down I was busy. I've cleaned my whole house except for the catchall room. I started a weight loss support group with some local ladies. Yes, I am very excited about that. I have even started to exercise!!! Guess malware may have been a good thing this time. However, I am so glad to be back. I really love our little community.
Have a peaceful day.

[Terra1984]

Betsy ~ Yeah I think its funny that my mom likes popping bubble wrap also. The bubble wrap she pops isnt loud enough to scare me though.

Wicked & Fireball ~ Welcome, We hope you like posting here and we hope you post as often as your able too.

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I woke up at 7:25 a.m. this morning, Its now 11:08 a.m. and I'm about to do my morning 40 min. chair exercises. Then at 1:00 p.m. I'll do my 2 miles with my walking dvd and then at 6:00 p.m. tonight I'll do 1 mile which is 20 mins. I was hoping it would be warm enough today to walk outside for 30 mins. at least but I dont have such luck lol Oh well. I hope everyone is having a awesome Monday.

[betsy2013]

Good morning everyone. It's raining here and blowing and generally a good day to stay inside........and finish cleaning up from the party and get the laundry done and do the bookkeeping for February and figure out how I'm going to groom the dog.

Tootsie -- I was going to offer some words of wisdom (once you get to be in the "senior" set of life, your words become wisdom instead of whatever else they could be! ), but Ubee beat me to it. Plus, she got it done in a few sentences whereas I would have rambled on for a page until I had cured your insomnia. And, I'll ditto Fi as well -- never a need to apologize for explaining what we're feeling. Oftentimes, this is the only forum where we feel safe and comfortable doing that!

Wickedcity -- Welcome and I think you're off to a great start! I'm at about the same place you are so let's help each other and get us into healthy eating habits.

Fi -- Loved your remembrances of life in Houston when you were a teen. Bikinis were a no-no in central Illinois although maybe it was just the style and the times. Are you and Bob going to do anything special for your birthday?

Ubee -- Glad your sick computer is all better, but weren't you a busy bee. So envious of you having a nearby support group. Party was fine, but am still wondering why the offensive coordinator called for a pass play on the last play for the Seahawks. I'm going to try to go to less frequent weighing.

Terra -- Sounds like a busy exercise day for you.

Off to the gym then home to do the laundry. My nephew and I have to go to the Verizon retail store some time this week to get him set up on his own plan and to get me a new phone as mine is in the process of dying. Plus, I need the bigger screen as my aging eyes and fat thumbs have too much trouble with the smaller screens.

I'll be taking my nephew most of the not-on-plan leftovers which he'll be thrilled to get. One of the guests brought a gluten free carrot cake last night. The cake was actually very good (she made it), but I laughed to myself as I realized why she's thin as a rail and I'm more in the range of a 100 year tree trunk. No cream cheese icing on the cake (thought it was a requirement for a carrot cake) and the slices she served were miniscule. I swear I've used more toothpaste brushing my teeth than was present on this cake! Anyway, evidently this portion control stuff does work!

Hope everyone has a good day -- am missing some of you guys so hope everyone gets back to posting soon.

[Fiona W]

Betsy— I have several different reasons that all add up to weighing myself once a month, or sometimes not even that. One is that my mother started bugging me about my eating behavior when I was a skinny kid, nine years old, so over the years to follow I got extremely weary of all topics having to do with weight loss, especially the numbers (like calorie/carb counting & weighing in). I had a 22-inch waist at age 15, but my mother couldn't process that information: she could only project her own despair over being fat onto me.

My mother's chatter about weight, over nearly 50 years, really soured me on the subject. The biggest hurdle for me, in joining 3FC, wasn't talking about my life—as you have noticed, I do that easily—but talking about my weight loss journey. It was very hard to admit I needed social support, that I couldn't do it on my own. Even now, in this thread, I am somewhat secretive about the occasional cookie I eat. So anyway, my solution to avoiding thinking about that 3-digit number is to weigh myself as infrequently as possible. And I avoid the other numbers by simply refusing to count either carbs or calories.

Another reason that I only weigh myself once a month is that our house is packed full. Even after the BERP, there's no place to put a scale that would weigh a more-than-300-pound person and give you a digital display. So the scale had to go in the basement. The basement has an extremely steep staircase that makes using it feel like I need a rope and harness, so I never see the scale except when I climb downstairs on purpose to weigh myself.

Does it help me in my weight-loss efforts to weigh infrequently? I would definitely say YES, because I had the same problem you describe of wanting to celebrate a few pounds down with sugary treats, or eat to console myself if the number was high. But nowadays, that number doesn't mean much to me: it's the graph on the fridge that I face every day. If the line on the graph is going down, I'm happy. The longterm trend on the graph keeps me on plan in my eating... or if it plateaus, like in recent months, I'm very eager to get back on plan. And yes, it's a public graph: it says "Fiona's Weight Chart" at the top, and the real numbers are on the vertical axis. Anyone who walks in our kitchen can read it. The current version starts in February 2012, when I weighed 351 pounds. Two big events have really thrown me off track since then, such that the line climbs: my husband being admitted to a psych hospital for his depression, and the death of the remaining cat from our last pair of oriental shorthairs. I hope that soon I will be looking at the current plateau as ancient history.

[TOgden3]

Ubee - Still feel out of whack but I'm staying positive and taking the days as they come.

Betsy & Ubee - Im with you guys not sure I can make my Valentines goal ... I MUST buckle down these next 12 days!!!

Wicked - Any start is a good start! WELCOME!!!

I really really would like to get to my Valentines goal however the bigger picture is to lose 20 lbs by my birthday next month (3/16) .... LETS GET IT!!!

[SamIAm86]

Just wanted to check in and say hi. I'm here...doing fine but still no garbage disposal installation...been having to go back and forth from Lowes hopefully it will be complete tomorrow. No gaining but no losses either. I had to take a week off from the gym because I pulled a muscle in my neck, then on top of that had TOM and an allergic reaction to icy hot that I am still not healed from but I'm still alive lol...went to the gym today to get back in the swing of things.

Sorry I haven't posted just a lot going on here and I'm trying to stay away from the internet and focus more on real life...it's not going too well lol...check in soon...one love!