I have been off and on WW for a couple years now and I must say, I just cannot do it anymore. The tracking. It's become SO tedious and I HATE it so that makes me become careless! Just wondering if anyone has any suggestions on something to try or something different yet similar, just any words of wisdom. I have shamefully gained back a good bit of weight the past few months because I had become SO burnt out on meticulously tracking and worrying about every thing that goes in my mouth. I want this, I don't want to give up permanently but oh my gosh I felt like a prisoner. WHY can other people eat whatever the heck they want and not worry about it but I eat ONE WRONG THING and it goes right back on me? UGH!!! I do know some factors that play into my tendency to gain weight easily but nothing can be done to change those. I am so upset and desperate right now. I am completely disappointed in myself and disgusted! Not to mention for the first time ever, because I have "erased" SO much progress, I cannot even enjoy sex with my husband because I feel SO gross! Help.
Try something completely different. Change up your routines and your program. Move on to a new way of living that doesn't make you think of food, calories and the scale...constantly.
Forget about 'dieting' and start believing in you. You are your best friend. Your best friend has always been encouraging you....silently, quietly and sometimes loudly.
Take a break. Go buy some essential oils in scents like Tangerine, Lemon, Orange, Lime, Pine or Spruce. Splash them on your wrists and neck. Liven up your senses and change everything up. Your best friend will be there...willing to help you along your journey to a happier and more content you.
Comparing yourself to others is a recipe for disaster. There will always be people who have an easier time than you, but there will also always be people who have it harder. I could envy you because you've never had to deal with weighing nearly 400 lbs, but that would only make my journey harder, and would make it harder to learn from anything from you (because we tend to dismiss potential wisdom from people we see as "lucky.")
Many of the "naturally thin" folks we see, aren't really eating whatever and whenever they want. Many of them track everything they eat, at least mentally.
For myself, strict low-carb (Atkins or similar) and The Simple Diet (a shake and frozen dinner based plan detailed in The Simple diet book by Dr James Anderson) are the only non-tracking plans I've ever had success with (and even they require minimal tracking as I need to track carb grams or number of shakes/meals/bars/veggies).
I used to hate tracking (and envied the people who didn't have to), but I realized it was like envying a bald person for not having to comb hair or envying a footless person for not having to tie shoes.
Tracking is just a tool, and just one of the many tools you have available. You don't have to use any specific tool to succeed, but you will need to use some tools, and it only makes sense to use the best tools for the job (which might be tracking).
Imagine that you hate brushes and combs. It's going to be pretty difficult to style and tidy your hair. Sure you could try using a fork or your fingers, but it might make more sense to make peace with combs and brushes.
You have three basic choices (four if you count failure):
1. Learn to stop hating tracking
2. Find a way to make tracking fun or easier
3. Experiment with plans that requires little or no tracking.
For myself, I have used, and continue to use a combination of all three. I've trained myself to see tracking as a neutral activity, no more difficult or horrible than writing a grocery list or combing my hair or using any other tool. When I get bored or frustrated with tracking, I switch to a no-tracking or low-tracking system, or find a new way to make tracking fun. I fail a lot too, but failing doesn't make me a failure, only giving up can do that.
There are a lot of ways to make tracking less horrible. The simplest is choosing to see it less negatively, perhaps even as a potentially fun challenge. Or you might buy or make beautiful journal in which to track and maybe a fancy pen.
Experiment, and put fun into your choices. And that goes for sex with your husband. If I can enjoy sex with my husbamd (and boy do I) at my current weight (and as I did at 394 lbs) without thinking of myself as "gross," you can too.
Half the battle is deciding to feel good about yourself and your choices, and that's actually easier than it seems once you decide that's your goal. It boils down to forgiveness - forgiving yourself for making imperfect choices - forgiving others for seeming to have an easier path - forgiving the limitations of the tools you'll need to use.
both of you. THANK you! It's exactly what I needed to hear! Throwing a pity party because others have it easier isn't going to make it easier for me. I just feel so defeated because I have failed, I wouldn't say entirely given up but over the past couple of months I have just not cared because it was taking a toll on my mental health as well. It was controlling so much of my life and a bit of an obsession that I did not want. I think I'm going to look at other options as you suggested and heck my husband is asking what to buy me for Christmas perhaps instead of mobile tracking (whether it be WW plan or a free app) maybe I need to tell him to pick out a funky journal and pen for me. I have decided to set myself a "reward" goal to see if that does anything for me, I never really did that much and there is a hoodie I am wanting from my university bookstore so I told myself I have to lose 15lbs before I get it. Thanks for the pep talk, part of my problem is also we have NO meetings in the new town we live in. Maybe I need to make 3FC my homepage again and come here daily for accountability.
You have lots of company. Lots of people struggle with the basic approach of counting calories. I think most people who ultimately successfully count calories for weight loss and maintenance have to try several times until something helps make it click for them.
There are also very different approaches that don't involve tracking at all. You might consider Intuitive Eating. Another different approach is low carb/high fat. Advocates claim that hunger stops being an issue and some folks can lose weight that way without tracking calories (though you probably need to track carbs).
I found constantly thinking about food trade-offs crazy-making as well. I've chosen to eat less often instead, just once a day, though I "worked up" (or down) to that. I also start each meal with a low-calorie first course to start to fill up, usually fresh veggies or fruit. The approach of eating less often is a form of Intermittent Fasting (IF). It can involve tracking or not, depending on your approach. Mine doesn't, and that was a priority for me.
In general, I would suggest you think hard about your plan and make sure that whatever approach you take meets your highest priorities in life. If your approach isn't working for you, tailor it or try to find something that will work for you. You have a few ideas that might help make tracking work for you, but if it's still not clicking, don't view yourself as a failing. You just haven't found the right fit yet, and some of your priorities aren't getting met.
It wasn't until just recently that my whole relationship with food changed for the better. Before that I failed repeatedly at diets, tracking, etc.
One outcome of my altered relationship with food is that I've begun to consider tracking part of the meal experience and weighing with a food scale part of the prep. For me it helps that my cooking isn't very complex with a lot of ingredients, so that helps in tracking. If I go out to eat, if it's a chain, it's easy to find the calories; if it's not a chain, I'll make a healthy choice from the menu and then consciously choose to overestimate the calories to compensate for the fact that when calorie counting, everyone tends to underestimate. Everyone.
I think what really helped me in dieting (and I've been trying to lose for a decade and only just started feeing successful at it) was, again, stepping back and taking a look at my big picture relationship with food. I was tending to underestimate what I ate, eat emotionally, eat fast, and not listen to my body. Weighing on a food scale, and practicing meal time meditation (being mindful of the current bite--not my old thought process of "this is good--take another bite...and another!").
Recently, I also added one intermittent fasting day (500 cal) a week to my regimen, sort of as a "reset." I notice that I really don't get hungry on these days like I thought I would, and it helps to curb my appetite for the next 2-3 days when I go back to my regular calorie restriction level (1500 cal).
Short version:
-What are some big-picture cultural or environmental issues that impact your ability to count calories? How can you work around some of the negative cultural/environmental impacts to your diet?
-What about your overall relationship to food would you like to change/what about your relationship to food makes it hard for you to count calories? How could you go about working to change this?
Last edited by EnglishMcTeach; 11-16-2014 at 10:58 AM.
Thanks so much, knowing I am not alone and knowing that not everyone has a miracle story (like the many pages you see on facebook) helps. I am going to pray over all of this and really do some meditating on how I need to change things for the better again.
Since that time is coming up, how do you all handle the holidays? Do you splurge the whole time, occasionally, or not at all? I don't want to be that one that puts it off just because but the holidays stress me out big time when it comes to food.
You've gotten some great ideas, and as always, Kaplods is very wise. I admire her very much.
A couple of things I've learned along the way.
You have to count and or be accountable in some way. It's up to you to find the best fit for you.
People at a healthy weight do count. We may not see it, but they do.
Tracking, counting or however you do it, is a tool. By keeping track in some way, the data gives you feed back as to what is or is not working.
I do get that it does get tiresome. But I figured, it's no less tiring, than feeding the dog twice a day, taking out the trash, doing laundry, grocery shopping and so on. It's just part of my day. I keep it part of my day, because I do not want to live the alternative that I would have.
That being said.
Being an old hand at WW, been a member since 2006, and just recently, (5 weeks ago), became leader of the group, if you don't like tracking, have you tried Simply Filling?
I know that Simply Filling, does not get a lot of attention, at meetings or online but it's not a bad deal. You eat from the list of power foods that you don't have to track, and only track off the list indulgences.
Keep your chin up, and stick with it! There is something that will work, you just need to figure out your sweet spot!
To be fair, there are many people at healthy weights who don't have to count or track. Some are metabolically gifted and can truly eat insane amounts of food and somehow manage to burn it off. Others eat what they want, but have naturally small appetites or exercise a lot (either intentionally or because they have a natural compulsion to do so).
I think it is very important to acknowledge that dieting and weight loss is not a level playing field. Assuming everyone's experience is similar can be as damaging as assuming you have it so much worse than everyone else.
It can feel disastrous when you're in a weight loss group (for mutual support) and all you see are the people doing better than you, especially when you're told, or it is implied, that those doing better are ALL working harder than you.
Weight management is a lot like employment - working harder than everyone else doesn't necessarilly mean you're getting paid more than everyone else. In fact, the reverse is often true in some fields, those working the hardest may have the lowest salary.
Weight loss clubs can be discouraging because only the successes are acknowledged. If you drop into your WW meeting early and count how many people weighed in, by the number of pounds the leader announces were lost, you start to see what the average really is, but the average tells you nothing about the effort/result ratio of everyone or anyone.
You may never know where your efforts or results lie on the spectrum, but there is a spectrum. Changing your place on the weight loss spectrum is probably even harder than in the job market. It's not fair, but not much in life is.
And I don't mean "it's not fair" pessimistically. None of us have an entirely average life. We are all blessed and limited in different aspects of our lives. The man or woman blessed with super model looks and a hummingbird's metabolism may have a lousy job or a cheating spouse.... or they could have won the cosmic lottery and truly have everything in their life that you want in yours (or they could want what you have).
In the scheme of things, it doesn't matter because you've got what you've got. Do the best with whatever that is.
I support what everyone here has already said. I think ultimately things will go better if you find something that fits your lifestyle. There are some other WW programs if you want to stick with WWs. Alternatively there are things like counting bites or intuitive eating.
I don't believe there's a one-size fits all diet because we're all different. Even if all of us burned calories exactly the same, and the exact same diet worked the same for every person.. there would still be personal mental hurdles that makes everyone different. So no two journeys are going to be exactly the same.
Ultimately, don't feel bad if something isn't working.. experiment with different stuff and find what works for you both physically, and mentally.
I guess maybe that is it, maybe WW was good for a time in my life (especially when I had meetings I could attend) but now perhaps I need to go with something entirely different? What do you mean by intuitive eating, a couple of you mentioned that.
Okay I had some time this morning to look that up actually, I am definitely feeling more and more ready to nip this in the bud this morning though. I am not entirely sure which route I will take, definitely need to be accountable or forget it lol I may even try SBD again or something just to change it up? I really like WW but I think I am just tired of their routine and also I think the fact that NO foods are off limits, are kind of working against me right now.
IE doesn't have any foods off limits either. shcirerf mentioned WW Simply Filling a little further up. You wouldn't have to track if you ate from the list of power foods if you went that route.
Hi Everyone, I am new here (was going to do Ideal Protein for the second time) but decided to go a Real Food way and try to change my eating habits instead of "Dieting". I am having a hard time sticking to it though I do good all day while at work but once the evening comes I get snacky and say forget it, I'll give in and restart tomorrow. Which is only a repeat of today Really need some help and tips or techniques
Thanks....
I can't do it!
Help.
Thanks for the pep talk, part of my problem is also we have NO meetings in the new town we live in. Maybe I need to make 3FC my homepage again and come here daily for accountability.
