100 lb. Club - secret eating?




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suzie76
07-28-2003, 01:39 PM
Hi,

I'm just curious, do you do most of your eating of cheat foods alone or when you're with others? I know that not any food is "bad" or "good" but you know what I mean.

I've always been a cheat when I'm alone person. The problem started in 1991 when my husband and I bought a condo and moved to a town where I didn't know a soul. He was working three to eleven pm. I'd come home from work to an empty house, except for our cats. I'd bake brownies or cookies, and eat them while watching tv (really productive, huh?) Or I'd go out to eat by myself. Other nighttime comfort eating besides sweets would be peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. If I cheat now, I still mainly do it alone, in my car, or at night after Matthew goes to bed. My husband still works nights, but he doesn't leave until 8:30 pm, so we have dinner together. That has helped.

Okay, now that I've confessed, anyone else want to speak up?

Sherry


synger
07-28-2003, 01:47 PM
Actually, I'm more likely to "cheat" when I'm with Hunter. This is still rather a new change to us, and we still have a lot of snacky trigger foods in the house.

Fortunately, his comfort foods and mine are different. He's more likely to go for soda and ice cream, and I'm more likely to go for crackers, popcorn, and cheese.

I'm also more likely to "cheat" when eating out, which is usually when I'm with Hunter. The other day for lunch we got fish and chips, and shared a slice of cheesecake for dessert. I used my new Superpowers of PortionEstimation to eat only a deck of cards' worth of fish and only a fist-size portion of fries (with malt vinegar and salt -- YUM). And I tried to eat the cheesecake mindfully -- enjoying each bite for its own creamy, rich pleasure. That helps me eat only a bit of a 'craving' food and be satisfied.

It's when I don't pay attention that I can eat a WHOLE lot. If I have an open bag of Cheezits in front of me, it'll "evaporate" before I know it. So I've really started putting a handful or two into one of Gem's little plastic bowls. That way I have some of what I want, but not so much that I get down on myself about it.

Eating from stress or boredom, though, is the biggest trigger for me.

Sheila53
07-28-2003, 07:04 PM
I believe in full frontal cheating. Luckily, I don't do it very often, but when I do, it's always in full view of my family. I also generally "plan" my cheating so maybe it's not really cheating. The only non-planned cheating I do is when I'm sick and do comfort eating. I don't do that in secret, either, though.

I have to confess that I have an addiction to All My Children. I watched it today and a woman pushed a four tiered wedding cake on the floor. All I could think about was, what a waste of what looked like really good cake! I almost obsessed about it the whole show. Couldn't get into the why she pushed over the cake, just that the cake was on the floor, and if I had been there, I would have at least stuck a finger in the frosting. You know how Jimmy Carter lusted after women in his heart? Well, I was lusting after that cake in my heart!


AngiKL
07-28-2003, 08:53 PM
I'm not cheating now, because I'm desparate to make my adoption goal tomorrow or soon after.

But, in my normal life, I've been known cheat or overeat anywhere anytime I think I can get away with it. I'm overly concerned about what others think about me, so if I'm at a party and I think I've eaten in front of one group a little too much, I might go over to another group of people and overeat again there. In college, I might go into the cafeteria for a second dinner after the first group of friends I was with left and pretend I'd not been there earlier.

So, I'm sneaky, just not doing it alone.

matt_H
07-28-2003, 09:56 PM
I was overly self-conscious about my eating and would prefer to eat alone if at all possible. Like Angi, I had all kinds of strategies to make it appear as if my eating was normal. It sounds kind of funny now to think about the things I used to do.

My favorite cheap fast food was taco bell (don't laugh). I would routinely go there and get take out and order 2 soft tacos with beans instead of ground meat, 2 with ground meat, and 2 bean burritos. It would then appear as if the pile of food was going to be split between me and a vegetarian! I would go back to my apartment and binge out on nasty greasy food (loving every minute of it).

I would often meet up with a group of friends for brunch on Sunday. However, they didn't know that before I showed up (we would get together about 11am) I would hit dunkin donuts and get a bagel sandwich first. I would most often plan a pre-meal meal so that i wouldn't be tempted to chow down like there was no tomorrow while out in public.

I'm still very self conscious of eating in front of people. I can't help but think everyone is looking at the fat man pigging out.

howie6267
07-28-2003, 10:10 PM
I have to laugh Matt. Not at you but at myself. I do the same kind of thing. Even if I'm not pigging out. If I go to subway to get my wife and me a sub. I will order hers without onion or jalapeno peppers just to make them different so they don't think they are both for me. My trick is to go to several different fast food places instead of one. I would hit taco bell for a couple burritos then burger king and to top it off Wendy's or McDonalds. That way I appear normal. Yep I sure fooled them. They would never guess that me a 400 lb man like to eat. LOL.

I don't know if you all have rally’s in your area. They used to have a commercial with a guy at the drive through talking back and forth with his friend about getting two big Buford’s. Then at the end it was just him eating both of them. That cracked me up.


I would also do things like volunteer to get my wife something sweet at the store. That way I could go out on a late night fast food run and no one was the wiser.

SuchAPrettyFace
07-28-2003, 10:11 PM
You know how Jimmy Carter lusted after women in his heart? Well, I was lusting after that cake in my heart!

Ohhhhhh, I know the feeling.

I'm still very self conscious of eating in front of people. I can't help but think everyone is looking at the fat man pigging out.

No kidding, me too. I ate less than half my seafood quesadilla in front of DB Saturday night. It's not like he can't see that I could obviously put away the whole plate. :lol:

I don't usually cheat in private. I can't. If I'm going to cheat, it's going to be Cheetos, and they are going to be from the vending machine @ work. Sometimes I will stay in the kitchen & eat them, but that look even more pathetic if someone comes in to get a snack themself & sees the fat girl inhaling the bag of Cheetos & looking out the corner of her eye @ the peanut butter cookies.

However, every once in awhile I have something like mini-quiches or ice cream, and I live alone, so what is that? *sigh* So I guess the answer is yes & no.

glynne
07-29-2003, 01:06 AM
I do my cheating when I am alone. It is like a relaxing thing to get something I am craving, and eat it in peace, alone. That is when I get into trouble. I am trying not to bring stuff home as much anymore. Sometimes there will be stuff at work, and I might have some. I don't have trouble going overboard there ~ because I am ~ like Angi worried about that others are watching me and what they are thinking of me.

I bring healthy things to work in my lunch, and say no thank you a lot when there are treats to be had. (If I had some of the treats every time stuff was available, I would be even bigger than I am now,)

It is kind of embarrassing then, when I am eating my lunch, and comments are made, that are sort of like ~ we always see you eating healthy stuff ~ so why are you so big. Also, I am always saying no thank you to stuff, but my coworkers are probably wondering/knowing why I am always on a diet, but never seem to get any smaller. It is because of what I do when no one is looking.

Gayle

BA99TJ
07-29-2003, 10:19 AM
I think I do both. I usually try to hide it - from past childhood experiences I'm sure. But then again I can also cheat with a lot in front of my hubby because I know he won't say anything (which makes me crazy.) He usually mentions something in passing later or will say "yeah I did notice you were eating a lot" but never stops me mid-binge or bad food. *sigh* hopefully someday.

gonzostar
07-29-2003, 01:05 PM
david WOULD say something, so i sneak it when he's not looking. i feel horribly guilty, too. i'm better now than i was, but it still happens.

"hi, my name is holly, and i'm a secret eater."

AmyJ
07-29-2003, 01:23 PM
I'm absolutely a sneaker. Every time I spend the weekend at my parents' home, I'm in the kitchen chowing down after they go to bed--ahh childhood revisited. At my home, I usually don't eat anything after dinner. I'm reading a great book right now that touches on this very subject, and some others too, that you all might enjoy. It's called Fit from Within by Victoria Morgan. I'm actually carrying it around with me now and I read bits of it when I need inspiration...

BA99TJ
07-29-2003, 03:14 PM
oh yes - sneaking around the parents happens ALWAYS - like Sunday I snuck a third pizza bagel and wolfed it down in the kitchen peering out the window anxiously...

Didn't even enjoy it. so what was the point then?

SuchAPrettyFace
07-29-2003, 09:04 PM
Originally posted by gonzostar
"hi, my name is holly, and i'm a secret eater." Group, in unison: Hi, Holly!

Yeah, I think realizing that you're not enjoying it is the first step to quitting altogether, if there even is such a thing. Old habits die hard.

mthrgoos68
07-30-2003, 10:09 AM
Totally a secret eater!! In fact my favorite time of the day has always been in the evening when I'm alone and can just totally binge without anyone seeing me. And trust me, I can binge like no other!!! Any kind of carb, sweet, or cheese was not safe when I was on a binge.

rochemist
07-30-2003, 12:44 PM
Hello my name is Chris and I do secretly eat. And as Beth indicated I usually don't enjoy it. Lately I have been starting my secret binge and then throwing stuff out the window. My worst place for this is my car, and I know I should throw it away, but if I am driving and its still there I will eat it no matter how much I don't want it. Some self control huh!
Miss Chris

Goddess Jessica
07-31-2003, 12:11 PM
Secret eating:

-Shoving two fingers into the ice cream because "the witness" just stepped out of the room and there is no time to find a spoon.

-eating as many doughnuts as I can fit in my face before someone comes back into the room and when they do, nibble on one unenthusiasticly.

-Finish off a box of cookies, chips, or cheesecake bites and buy another box to replace it before anyone notices.

BA99TJ
07-31-2003, 12:15 PM
I used to hide a box of nilla wafers and a can of choclate frosting in my bedroom...

or open cans of frosting, sneak some, then mix it up with a knife and stick it in the fridge so it only looked partially used, but not "snitched"....

cut very thin pieces of cake across the entire uncut row so you couldnt' tell people had taken more pieces...

Gee I'm not a secret eater or anything...

Viking mom
07-31-2003, 02:13 PM
Greetings from Norway!
Until June, I usually binged alone at home around mid morning, while my husband was at the office and my kids were at school. I liked to bake homemade muffins and polish them off with a pot of coffee while watching CNN. Recently, both Oprah and Dr. Phil were picked up by a Norwegian tv station. Oprah is on at 11:30 while Dr. Phil is shown at 2. Watching their shows has actually helped me to stop binging while I'm alone. Many of their shows focus on obesity and over-eating... It's hard to binge on a plate of blueberry muffins while watching an obese child talk about being teased at school and having no friends because she weighs over 200 lbs... Oprah explains over and over and over again that our extra pounds represent pain and issues we are trying to avoid. Oprah and Dr. Phil are right. The binging is about pain and issues. We've got to face that pain in order to stop the over-eating. They say it's a disease and needs to be recognised as such. I haven't baked any muffins for myself since I started to watch their shows. I'm giving myself a big pat on the back!

synger
07-31-2003, 02:22 PM
cut very thin pieces of cake across the entire uncut row so you couldnt' tell people had taken more pieces...

Oh, man! Now THAT one I can relate to. When I was growing up, my sisters taught me that trick. They called it a "big little piece".

gonzostar
07-31-2003, 03:21 PM
i do the cake thing too! or with brownies in a pan, too.

oops. i mean "did"!!!

blondegirl32
07-31-2003, 08:46 PM
Secret eating, I know it well! From the time I was a kid sneaking down to the kitchen after my parents went to bed to buying stuff now and eating it alone. mthrgoos68 says it well and I can totally relate to what she says. Cereal at night...nothing better than a big bowl of cereal! Now that's an isle in the grocery store I really need to stay away from! I could easily go through a whole box at night by myself if I let me...but I have gotten better with that!

dowsx4
08-02-2003, 12:21 PM
OOH ME TOO! Expecially captain crunch!

Stepping Out
08-02-2003, 05:42 PM
I like to binge on carbs and fats-particularly toasted bread w/extra margarine. I also like a big bowl of cereal w/milk. But I only eat at the kitchen counter while the DH is busy watching t.v., or after he's gone to bed.:sssh: I've even been known to eat cream cheese by the spoonful!:s:

KittyMilk
08-02-2003, 06:46 PM
Yeah secret binging, I've known it well. I used to do what Howie did and visit several stores so they wouldn't think all the food was for me. I would check out all the stores in the area first and plan this one for that then that one for that then finish up with a pile from that one. Eating in the park so when I went home nooone would know. Ahh those were the days! It has been over 12 months since my last bad binge, I wonder if it's like AA - Once a binger always a binger no matter how many years break you have? I really think binging is soul destroying, I would feel bad while I did it and worse after wards.

bella23
08-03-2003, 01:16 AM
Yea, I do it to, not so much now with my husband gone, but I still do it. It's not so much a sneeky thing, for me it's just the time my kids are in bed, i begin to settle down and just start with something. I usually finish it. So I try to just not have the temptation around.

I also am famous for eating in front of my friends as well. If we go out for dinner, I don't hide much.

Bella23

Sugarball
08-03-2003, 02:56 PM
All of you make me feel like this is right where I belong, as I read thru each of your posts I see myself over and over again.:) My husband also works nights and he leaves for work at 9 pm, that's usually when my secret eating begins. The kids are in bed and I'm able to set back and relax and eat. I have even told myself if I eat all this stuff after the kids are in bed they won't get fat like me cause there not eating all the junk food. I use to always have candy bars (notice I said BARS) hid somewhere or Little Debbie nutty bars (One of my favorites:) ) just to start out with, and I just love the taste of chocolate and popcorn, so I have to microwave some popcorn. Finished all that and still not satisfied, sooo I grab a bowl of milk and the whole box of cereal, cause I like to put alittle in at a time so it won't get soggy. After I polish off over half the box, I start feeling bad, probably because my sugar is headed sky high, and guilty, wondering how come I do this to my self. Why do I do this to myself???:?:

I've been known to buy goodies at the store and hide it in the car and go out and get it after everyone is in bed, or eat it all up before I get home from the store, then drive around trying to find some where to hide the evidence,( for some reason there's never a trash can around when I need one and I just can't liter, that's not right).

I love drive thru windows, it's so convenient! I can easily hit Royal donut, Taco bell, Long Johns and Wiener King, then I have the complete meal deal and even Diary queen for dessert.

SECRET EATER, who me? Yes, I EAT in secret, but I don't know why. Dr. Phil and Oprah keep talking about the pain inside, but I can't put a finger on any kind of pain or problem other than I've always been fat and I'm not happy with myself and never have been.
:dizzy:

suzie76
08-03-2003, 03:40 PM
Hi,

One of my favorite things to eat in secret (okay, it won't be a secret now) is chocolate chip cookie dough-you know, like Pillsbury's...god, I started doing that when I was about 14! Twenty years-how pathetic! But I was skinny then....

Now at least Ben and Jerry's makes low fat frozen yogurt in that flavor...not as bad!


I must be in a minority here-I really dislike fast food. I haven't had Mcdonalds since 1989, and maybe eat Wendy's three or four times a year...that's it. I also hate Pizza Hut. Their crust is way too greasy. It makes me sick.

Sherry

matt_H
08-04-2003, 12:02 AM
Viking Mom Welcome!

I been to Norway twice (once to Oslo and once to Stavanger and Bergen). I love it there!!! I have a couple of very good friends who live there.

This is a great board, hope to see you here often.

Reesa23
08-05-2003, 12:03 PM
Binge and secret eating is what got me up to 260 pounds. I am guilty of eating fast food in the car. I'm beyond caring what they think in the drive thru. If I go to taco bell, I'll buy 5 soft shell taco supremes and a mountain dew code red and eat it all before I even get home. If I go to McDonalds its 2-3 burgers and fries and a drink. All that money wasted at fast food! But its just so easy to drive thru. I work 2nd shift at the hospital 45 minutes away from my house and theirs a Wendys that stays open until 3 am. I'll drive thru and get 2 doubble stacks, no onion, biggie fries and a medium drink. And I eat it before I get home. Then when I get home I'll just toss out the bag and the left over soda in the garbage cans in the garage. I just started my lifestyle change this past monday. I came to terms that I now weigh 260 pounds and that is me I'm looking at in the mirror when I pass by one. SO I promised myself I will not eat like that anymore.

Reesa23
08-05-2003, 12:03 PM
Binge and secret eating is what got me up to 260 pounds. I am guilty of eating fast food in the car. I'm beyond caring what they think in the drive thru. If I go to taco bell, I'll buy 5 soft shell taco supremes and a mountain dew code red and eat it all before I even get home. If I go to McDonalds its 2-3 burgers and fries and a drink. All that money wasted at fast food! But its just so easy to drive thru. I work 2nd shift at the hospital 45 minutes away from my house and theirs a Wendys that stays open until 3 am. I'll drive thru and get 2 doubble stacks, no onion, biggie fries and a medium drink. And I eat it before I get home. Then when I get home I'll just toss out the bag and the left over soda in the garbage cans in the garage. I just started my lifestyle change this past monday. I came to terms that I now weigh 260 pounds and that is me I'm looking at in the mirror when I pass by one. SO I promised myself I will not eat like that anymore.

synger
08-05-2003, 12:33 PM
OOH ME TOO! Expecially captain crunch!

Oh, man! All Crunchberries gets me every time. At least they only have it once a year or so.

We pretty much only have "healthy" cereal in the house now. We have to make sure Gem gets enough fiber (she was born with a birth defect and had surgery when she was six months old, so she's okay, but we have to be careful), so we eat mostly whole wheat bread and whole grain cereals... Cheerios (Purina Toddler Chow), Frosted Mini Wheats (which she thinks is "candy"), and such.

But once in a very long while I indulge and get Crunchberries or Peanut Butter Crunch.

asuldoma
08-05-2003, 07:54 PM
I am a secret binge eater. My biggest trigger is when my husband leaves on Sundays to go to work for the week. He travels all week and doesn't get home until Fridays. Within 5 minutes of his being out the door I start stressing about everything I need to do during the week and I hit the fridge (or the fast food line).

I have also done those silly things in the fast food lines to try to make it look like I am ordering for more people than just myself. I have even been know to look at a blank piece of paper as if it's a list! I'm sure I fooled everyone with that one!