Chicks in Control - Bad reasons vs. Good reasons to lose weight




PrincessKLS
07-11-2014, 10:49 PM
Okay so I sort of right now have a plan in place to lose 100+ lbs by the end of 2015-2018ish (long 3 year plan due to a certain huge goal inspiration) and also so I can try to overcome all the aspects of my eating disorder. I have various reasons why I want to lose weight but is there ever such a thing as bad reasons or good reasons for losing weight?


levoguette
07-11-2014, 11:20 PM
I don't really think it's a good thing to label reasons as "good" or "bad".
As long as they motivate you, I think that's what counts!

"Bad" reasons could be things that are dependent on other people (like dating, friends, social, etc), but I think it entirely depends on how you view your goals.

Ie: I want to lose weight so more people will want to be my friend/like me/date me.
VS
I want to lose weight so I can feel more confident and comfortable in my own skin in social situations and open up to making new friends and meeting new people.

I think that was one for me, but I didn't realize my "wrong" thinking right away.

Jubilee77
07-13-2014, 12:07 AM
No earth-shattering advice, just wanted to encourage you on your journey. :-)


PrincessKLS
07-13-2014, 12:50 AM
Well my big motivation came from a recent psychic reading that predicted something kind of big that supposed to be finished in 2018 or at least be in process. Funny thing though when I reread and rewrote some of things she told me about the project, it kind of looked like I would be writing and/or promoting a self-help book with someone special. Which I'm not entirely against self-help books but in my experience they kind of suck and don't exactly help the world's problems like she was suggesting this big project would do. However, I'm kind of more focused on the person I'm supposed to be collaborating with and I want them to see me in better shape. So it's kind of an in between reason and the end result is kind of hypothetical situation anyway but still I like the idea of being much thinner and done with this problem by the end of 2018.

jeminijad
07-13-2014, 08:38 AM
The only bad reason is one that won't last. If something sticks with you through the daily grind of making 50 choices a day, then it is a good reason!

MauiKai
07-13-2014, 01:59 PM
I think to me, attracting a romantic partner is a poor reason.

freelancemomma
07-13-2014, 07:31 PM
I think to me, attracting a romantic partner is a poor reason.

To me it would be a perfectly valid, sane reason. Of course there are partners who don't care much about excess weight. However, if you (generic you) lose weight you increase the pool of candidates. I don't believe all "good" people are impervious to physical attributes, and I don't hold a preference for slimmer or more toned bodies against anyone.

F.

PrincessKLS
07-13-2014, 10:09 PM
To me it would be a perfectly valid, sane reason. Of course there are partners who don't care much about excess weight. However, if you (generic you) lose weight you increase the pool of candidates. I don't believe all "good" people are impervious to physical attributes, and I don't hold a preference for slimmer or more toned bodies against anyone.

F.

I agree because, I noticed the fatter, I get the less guys hit on me. And most guys who have in the past 10 years have been fat themselves. Sometimes even discouraging me from going on a weight loss plan. So as much as I hate to say it, hear it, and as controversial a topic as it is, it's easier to find lasting partners, or at least more options when you are not overweight.

Wannabeskinny
07-14-2014, 11:36 AM
There is no bad reason to lose weight except the eating disorder. Weightloss does not cure an eatin disorder anymore than gaining weight cures anorexia.

giselley
07-14-2014, 02:40 PM
Your reason is your reason. Health, looking good, mental health...all totally important. A healtht trim body always makes you look good and feel good. They are all the same reason.

lin43
07-14-2014, 06:13 PM
I would not label reasons as "bad" or "good," but I would label some as "unrealistic" and "realistic." Sometimes, people think that losing weight will solve all the problems in their life, and that is rarely the case.

PrincessKLS
07-16-2014, 03:45 PM
Yes but the underlying idea of realistic vs. non-realistic has the same meaning as good vs. bad. Because in our culture, realistic ideaology is associated with good choices and vice versa. So in my experiences telling someone their choices are either realistic or not is still as judgemental as saying good vs. bad. And yes I know that losing weight alone doesn't cure an eating disorder, that's why I'm taking steps to try to overcome that problem. However, I do have desires and egoistic side that wants me to be considered pretty, acceptable, and the center of attention in our society. In our society the best way to achieve that and be taken seriously is to have a healthy or at least skinny looking body and all-over well-maintained appearance.

PrincessKLS
07-16-2014, 03:49 PM
Your reason is your reason. Health, looking good, mental health...all totally important. A healtht trim body always makes you look good and feel good. They are all the same reason.


Thanks, I can't say I have the best self-esteem right now. And I'm sorry due to my experiences I no longer go by this hyper-political correct idea that "fat is beautiful", "no-more-fat-shaming", or you can still be fat, fit, and confidence because I've seen it in myself and others that fat people do tend to have the worst cases of self-esteem ever. And yeah you can claim it's our society but sometimes to keep societal pressures from getting you down is to try to assimilate to them and then act like you don't care.

apo9
07-16-2014, 05:07 PM
When is a bad reason to lose weight unless one is already at normal or sub normal weight.

kurisitaru
07-16-2014, 05:28 PM
Good Reason: You're tired or kids running away when you sit down in fear of being sat on.
Bad Reason: You've sat on a kid.

Good Reason: You want to be healthy and energetic and play with your kids!
Bad Reason: Your kids are so damn energetic you can't chase them down as they dart across the street and to the park ignoring your cries of "GET OVER HERE NOW!"

Good Reason: Your husband and you want to be healthy for the future.
Bad Reason: Your husband wants YOU to be a trophy, he isn't fit and thin, and gives little to no effort in helping. You make plans that as soon as you are a trophy, you will find a mister on the side that resembles Brad Pitt.

Good Reason: You want to fit into that darling summer dress!
Bad Reason: You squeezed into that darling summer dress only to hear it rip on your way into work. Everyone now knows you wear floral -totally-resembles-curtains- underwear (Hey! It was on SALE!)

Good Reason: To get a boyfriend.
Bad Reason: To steal someone else's boyfriend.

Wannabeskinny
07-17-2014, 02:59 AM
Thanks, I can't say I have the best self-esteem right now. And I'm sorry due to my experiences I no longer go by this hyper-political correct idea that "fat is beautiful", "no-more-fat-shaming", or you can still be fat, fit, and confidence because I've seen it in myself and others that fat people do tend to have the worst cases of self-esteem ever. And yeah you can claim it's our society but sometimes to keep societal pressures from getting you down is to try to assimilate to them and then act like you don't care.

I would not say that fat people have te lowest self esteem. All people are susceptible to low self esteem and there are many reasons for it, many of ten physical but not all. If you're really perceptible you would see that. Instead you are focusing on fat as bad. You can love yourself for how you are now or you can wait until you've reached a magical number on the scale. That's your prerogative but it's also your loss. http://www.upworthy.com/you-might-know-our-beauty-standards-are-unrealistic-but-you-might-be-affected-anyway-heres-why?c=hpstream

Weight gain, poor self image, low self esteem, distorted perception of beauty, these are all symptoms if an eating disorder. You can try to focus is the weight loss but that doesn't ultimately tend to the root of the issues, which will arise again. A cancer patient would not waste their time trying to focus on regrowing their hair, no. They would focus on fighting their disease and once they do the hair grows back on its own.

Mrs Snark
07-17-2014, 08:07 AM
I agree with Wannabe -- I know skinny people with terrible self-esteem. They are always competing with everyone around them, never confident, never believe that they are pretty enough or thin enough or smart enough. They are hyper judgmental of everyone and everything, including themselves. It's pretty awful.

The grass may seem greener on the lighter side of the scale, but it often isn't.

nonameslob
07-17-2014, 09:15 AM
Good Reason: You're tired or kids running away when you sit down in fear of being sat on.
Bad Reason: You've sat on a kid.

Good Reason: You want to be healthy and energetic and play with your kids!
Bad Reason: Your kids are so damn energetic you can't chase them down as they dart across the street and to the park ignoring your cries of "GET OVER HERE NOW!"

Good Reason: Your husband and you want to be healthy for the future.
Bad Reason: Your husband wants YOU to be a trophy, he isn't fit and thin, and gives little to no effort in helping. You make plans that as soon as you are a trophy, you will find a mister on the side that resembles Brad Pitt.

Good Reason: You want to fit into that darling summer dress!
Bad Reason: You squeezed into that darling summer dress only to hear it rip on your way into work. Everyone now knows you wear floral -totally-resembles-curtains- underwear (Hey! It was on SALE!)

Good Reason: To get a boyfriend.
Bad Reason: To steal someone else's boyfriend.

Quoting this because it shouldn't be missed! I love your humor and I think this thread needed it :)

---

Also, you can lose the weight but if you don't focus on changing your mental self along with your physical self, you will be just as unhappy once you reach your goal. Weight loss is so much more than numbers on the scale.

BeachBreeze2010
07-17-2014, 03:18 PM
To me, a bad reason is one that superficially loses weight but allows the eating disorder to continue. Ironically, that probably won't allow you to actually get to goal. I agree with wannabe - losing weight doesn't solve an eating disorder.

Have all of us wanted to lose weight for something that wasn't saintly, sure! We could have fun listing those things out. And at times they are motivating. But, I think they are just that, fun - or at least outside of an ED. To me, completely honestly, I think they perpetuate my disordered eating habits. So, they are "bad" reasons or "wrong" reasons because they aren't helping you recover from your ED.

lucindaarrowspark
07-17-2014, 07:29 PM
Even though I started this journey with weight loss in mind, I actually have gained control over my excessive over-eating and the weightloss has been an added benefit.
So for me, the good reason to lose weight is to stop binge eating. A bad reason would be just to lose weight for a specific event with the reward of going back to my over eating binge after the event was over.

LePetitPapillon
07-19-2014, 02:48 PM
The only bad reason I can think of is if you don't want to lose weight, but you are doing it because someone else is telling you to.

GlamourGirl827
07-19-2014, 06:55 PM
Good Reason: You're tired or kids running away when you sit down in fear of being sat on.
Bad Reason: You've sat on a kid.

Good Reason: You want to be healthy and energetic and play with your kids!
Bad Reason: Your kids are so damn energetic you can't chase them down as they dart across the street and to the park ignoring your cries of "GET OVER HERE NOW!"

Good Reason: Your husband and you want to be healthy for the future.
Bad Reason: Your husband wants YOU to be a trophy, he isn't fit and thin, and gives little to no effort in helping. You make plans that as soon as you are a trophy, you will find a mister on the side that resembles Brad Pitt.

Good Reason: You want to fit into that darling summer dress!
Bad Reason: You squeezed into that darling summer dress only to hear it rip on your way into work. Everyone now knows you wear floral -totally-resembles-curtains- underwear (Hey! It was on SALE!)

Good Reason: To get a boyfriend.
Bad Reason: To steal someone else's boyfriend.

:lol::lol::lol: