Chicks in Control - IE - losing track of trackers!




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Wannabeskinny
07-05-2014, 09:23 AM
Over the last few months I have worked on letting go of all the tracking methods and equipment I've used to diet. I didn't start off obsessed but slowly over time I kept adding on a form of tracker that would help keep me accountable of my actions. Each one was like a badge of honor, proof that I was a responsible healthy human in charge and in control of my actions. They were proof that I was trying, that I was working hard, proof of my healthy intentions and my commitment to being healthy.

As I started to release myself of these trackers I felt scared and out of sorts. Like taking the training wheels of my bike. Would I be trustworthy to eat without my food scale? Would I lose weight if I didn't track my carbs? Would I exercise if I didn't log it? But slowly and surely I've done well without them. And to tell you the truth I didn't think it was a big deal to have all these trackers until I confesses them to my NT last week and she genuinely looked surprised at how many there were. I even confesses to my BFF yesterday and she started crying. She had no idea that I was buried in a world of constant logging and dieting.

Goodbye old trust methods. I think I'm balanced on 2 wheels now!

- food log
- MyFitnessPal
- LoseIt app (yes I used both, simultaneously)
- all my "health" magazine subscriptions
- measuring tape
- Fitbit
- food scale
- health food sites
- weight loss shows
- exercise log
- exercise challenges

The one I struggle with now is giving up the scale. I'm still too dependent on it. I'm going on a 6wk vacation to Europe next week and will have no access to one. Hopefully when I get back the addiction to that will be gone too.

Freedom


hannahbeanies
07-05-2014, 09:28 AM
:yay:

Good for you! I am so happy that you are feeling good and a little more sane! :hug::bravo:

Wannabeskinny
07-05-2014, 09:34 AM
Thanks! And I don't mean to say that others should do the same. These are all fantastic and served their purpose for some time. But the obsession became a hindrance and led to a debilitating dependence and loss of self trust. I think it fostered or was a symptom of my ED.


hannahbeanies
07-05-2014, 10:28 AM
Oh yes. I totally understand what you meant. :) Everyone is different. What can be a help for some can be a burden and debilitating for others. I am just glad you found what works for YOU! :)

Purple1993
07-05-2014, 05:52 PM
those were all good things you were using and they sound helpful but too much of anything is not good. everything in moderation or quit cold turkey like you did is the way to go. congratulations!

FitFanny
07-06-2014, 01:38 AM
Good for you. That's a lot to keep up with, must have taken up all of your time! You must feel very free now!

Wannabehealthy
07-06-2014, 08:10 AM
Patience, there are a lot of people who don't own a scale. For some, the only time they get weighed is when they go to the doctor, or to their WW meeting, or at a friend's house, etc. A scale can fluctuate from day to day. Many people get very frustrated by these fluctuations.

On the other hand, everyone wears clothes. When they start to get a little snug, you have gained. When they get a little loose, you have lost.

Wannabeskinny has said repeatedly that she is trying to let go of her obsessions with food and weight, and this is just one more step. And I applaud her for it! :cp:

Wannabeskinny
07-06-2014, 08:20 AM
I've managed to reduce my obsession with the scale but not eliminate ate it entirely. I uses to weigh myself religiously on Monday mornings and log it carefully. Then I would weigh myself unofficially on Thursday mornings but NOT write it down. I have logs that date back years. Now I let go of Thursday weigh ins and can sometimes skip a Monday too. Heck sometimes I weigh in on a Saturday instead and that's good too, analog as I'm shaking things up just a little then I know I'm not being rigidly obsessive.

Whether its good or bad is not the point, it serves a different purpose for anyone and I understand that. Where it got bad for me is that I was letting it dictate how I felt about myself. Sometimes I feel so good about not binging and feeling beautiful in my clothes. Then I step on the scale to validate that feeling and the scale falls short. Either I didn't lose as much as I thought I did or I gained - either way it makes me feel awful. Even if I lost more than I thought, I've ruined my good feelings by crediting the weightloss rather than my own internal gratification.

I look forward to not having a scale on vacation. I'm sure there area my things to be learned in the weeks ahead. I have zero fears that I will gain weight.

Pinkhippie
07-06-2014, 01:59 PM
I didn't own a scale until a few years ago. I maintained my weight Im guessign within about 5 pounds because I stayed the same size almost all my adult life. If my clothes started to get snug I knew it was time to evaluate some habits. If I was at a friends house and they had a scale I would hop on in curiosity. If I was at the dr I got weighed. Other than that, no weighing.

wannabe, I have totally used lose it and my fitness pal simultaneously. I thought I was the only one who would ever do that. Good for you for getting rid of these trackers in your life!

Wannabeskinny
07-06-2014, 03:28 PM
Thank you all for the encouragement. I'm really amazed still and actively pursuing the benefits of not tracking my every move, mood, or food. I walk upstairs and think "I can't believe I don't have my fitbit here to track this and I'm still doing it. I feel unencumbered excited like a teenager who's parents just went away and left her alone for the whole weekend and free to do anything she wants. But no wild parties here, trust begets trustworthy behavior.

The only time the scale gets out of hand is when I'm really stressed out and I start weighing everyday. It's anxious behavior and my state of mind is evident based on how much it how little I weigh myself.

Pinkhippie that's amazing that you didn't weigh yourself for that long. Most of my friends who are normal eaters tell me that they hardly ever weigh themselves and express no fears about gaining weight. On my way to being that awesome!

Wannabeskinny
07-06-2014, 10:17 PM
Anxiety is one of the major components of my ED. Getting rid of these trackers has helped tremendously. And with the help of my NT I've learned many more ways to cope with every kind of emotion that arises including anxiety. Nothing is being channeled in inappropriate ways. I'm not replacing bad habits with other bad habits if that's what you mean.

ubergirl
07-08-2014, 02:18 PM
I can tell you one thing from my own experience. When I haven't been weighing for a long time, I can almost always guess within a 5 lb range, and usually within a two pound range, how much I weigh even when there has been a big change. Deep down, I always know what size I am, whether I am choosing to look at the scale or not. If you feel that letting go of the scale is a good idea-- definitely go for it.

Wannabeskinny
07-10-2014, 09:38 AM
I can tell you one thing from my own experience. When I haven't been weighing for a long time, I can almost always guess within a 5 lb range, and usually within a two pound range, how much I weigh even when there has been a big change. Deep down, I always know what size I am, whether I am choosing to look at the scale or not. If you feel that letting go of the scale is a good idea-- definitely go for it.

You're right, deep down we know who we are. Luckily wenarenso much more than a number on a scale.