Living Maintenance - Maintainers Weekly Chat June 16 - June 22

06-16-2014, 07:28 AM
Happy Summer Morning guys!

Feels so good to go out in a knit shirt day after day as if that's what's supposed to happen.

I spent the weekend with extended family at a Inn where the major event was visiting with chatting and food. Great time despite life long family tensions, but more eating than useful. However, I'm grateful that it ended with no murders and everyone is still speaking to each other.

06-16-2014, 07:32 AM
Good Morning! Glad to hear your family weekend didn't end in bloodshed Bill. I am attending one family gathering next weekend and hosting another (I think - negotiations are underway still) and am keeping my :crossed: that all will go smoothly.

DH and I spent a quiet weekend doing domestic stuff. I think the week will be more of the same - I am shovelling gravel this week. I'm filling in a path and figure I'll shovel for about 15 minutes every night and will have it done by Friday.

The older I get the more slowly I do things. No injuries that way.

Dagmar :cool:

06-16-2014, 08:48 AM
This is going to be a hectic week for me.

A new hire arrives today and I've got to start his intensive one-on-one training.

One research manager isn't happy with the writer working for his team, but this has arisen suddenly, without his even communicating with this writer. He wants another. The one he's got is one of our best. How to satisfy someone who's likely to be unsatisfied no matter what he gets, because his expectations are not realistic?

Also, it's time for midyear reviews. Part of my duties include reading five documents each of my direct reports has worked on and commenting on their work: Three things to build on, three things to work on. That means reviewing 20 documents. I spent my weekend working on this. Five down, 15 to go.

I feel like the weather's pretty much irrelevant. The only weather that matters is whether the air-conditioning works at the office and what my inbox looks like.

Will try not to overeat and undersleep this week, and of course, will try to get in all of my workouts. That's about all I'm asking of myself.

06-16-2014, 08:57 AM
Good morning, all.

Fairly rough chez silverbirch this weekend. Work going on in the kitchen (units, sink etc). It's functional but only just. Almost everything has been moved out into another room. This is in a house of just over 900sq ft. I spent most of the time working (carefully - see Dagmar's point above) in the garden. It was nice to be at eye-level with a couple of toads.

06-16-2014, 09:25 AM
Good morning!

Silver, love your commentary about the toads. We found a toad hiding in our veggie patch one day a couple years ago! We're not that close to the pond so it was a bit of a surprise. Lately our yard and our neighbors' yards are full of big fat bunnies and little baby bunnies. I think they live under my neighbor's deck. Carter has had a good time chasing them off several times a day.

We had a good Father's Day. I managed to let DH sleep in an extra hour, he liked the present I got for him, DDs napped really well, and I took them out to the library on my own so DH could have some alone time at home. He spent the whole time researching weed whippers, but to each his own. :D Had a brief visit with MIL, FIL, BIL. Hope I didn't offend MIL when she made some comment about how she should come by more often so the babies don't forget her, and I was like, "Don't you already come twice a week? I think that's enough." :o Honestly I think she is at our house MORE than enough and should tone it down, but I've given up fighting that battle. I will refuse to have her over more frequently than she already is though unless DH actually needs her there to help him. Usually her coming over is more of a pain for him because she is never on time, so he has to skip going out with the girls because she messes up his schedule.

Also, I don't know what it is about it, but something about the way my in-laws play with the babies I just find really irritating. :lol: Kind of like how listening to someone doing baby talk can be annoying. I am looking forward to my mom's next visit because I am much more comfortable with having her around -- probably because she and I have a lot in common and we interact with the girls the same way. (No surprise there, clearly I am turning into my mother now that I have kids.) She's coming around 4th of July. Should be nice, just my mom and not my dad -- his health is not great so traveling is hard for him, plus he gets easily bored with babies and he and I tend to get into fights.

06-16-2014, 10:18 AM
Good morning! We're going to have a beautiful and slightly cooler week for which I'm grateful. Yesterday we went to lunch and a movie and then came home and DS helped me make dinner. I had given DH his option for dinner for Father's Day and he started out with steak and lobster but then DS mentioned chicken enchiladas to which DH said that that was what he wanted. I'm trying to eat more veggies so I threw in a pound of chopped spinach and it was really good.

Oh, don't we all turn into our mothers!?!? I thought I wouldn't but I certainly have in many ways. And not all for good.

06-16-2014, 10:53 AM
Jessica, oh boy, I could write a book about my MIL and her playing with my kids. A couple summers ago I took all the video we had of when kids were little and put them on DVDs. I got so angry watching MIL playing with the kids! Even after 20 years! Lol. She has been extremely helpful over the years but just annoying! I tell myself I have to just take the bad with the good. I was going to give her a copy of the DVDs but I noticed that you could see me rolling eyes and making comments under my breath. So I didn't even tell her I made them. I feel bad because I know she would enjoy them but I don't have the time to edit out comments. She lives about five miles away and is alone and DH is only child so it's like a part time job helping her with stuff.

Thursday we go to St Pete for four days for my DHs annual regional meeting. It's always a nice hotel and they give us all the meals. Food is okay, but hotel food, so not amazing. I'm sure the people will be shocked to see that I've lost 50 lbs! I was at my all time high last June when we went and started diet in July. There is a fitness center so I'll use that. Was thinking about starting a couch 2 5k running program. It's so darn hot and humid in Florida but in Monterey DD says it is amazing and says I should exercise outside. I go the 26th for a month.

traveling michele
06-16-2014, 11:53 AM
LOL at your family get togethers Bill-- those can be tense!

I'm laughing at everyone being careful as they get older. Guess my 19 y/o dd hasn't gotten the memo yet. We were out shopping yesterday and I was ready to leave but she kept browsing (TJ Maxx). Next thing I hear a crash and MOM! She had picked up a set of glasses and the box was open. Someone she got a major gash down her leg so there was blood and glass everywhere. I think she's fine but we had to wait 30 minutes for the manager to fill out an accident report and we will be hearing from their insurance company. Sorry to my friends on Facebook for posting an ugly bloody photo! We were so hungry afterwards that we would have eaten anything. We tried to go to sushi but it was closed so we ended up at a local fish restaurant. I was so tempted to get fish tacos and sweet potato fries, but I ended up with grilled salmon, brown rice and grilled zucchini. Quite yummy but the scale is up a pound (it was salty and more food than I'm used to).

Today I'm going with my librarian friend to the Scholastic warehouse sale-- we make a day of it-- choosing books and going to lunch so should be fun. Dh comes home tomorrow and I leave Friday for Houston so I have a busy week ahead planning, packing, working, etc.

Hello to everyone-- I need to get something accomplished at work before I head to the warehouse to shop!

06-16-2014, 02:06 PM
Hi Maintainers!

BF's stepdad's memorial went well, beautiful day and whatnot, but it seemed tasteless that his family were all smoking cigarettes - I get that sad times are not necessarily the best times to quit an unhealthy habit, but the guy died of lung cancer and told people he regretted ever smoking immensely.

I have FINALLY stopped grossly overeating. I probably only gained one or two "real" pounds over the last week and a half, but by Sunday morning I felt properly puffy, and on a run with BF I felt my stomach jiggling in a way it hasn't in quite a long time.

michele - I'm really glad she wasn't too badly hurt! Laughter from relief...

paperclippy - The way most people interact with little girl babies/toddlers irks me to high heck. Whenever a friend has a daughter I always go out of my way to buy them gender neutral books about interesting stuff...and use regular voices to talk to them :)

saef - sending strength to cope with the week

Bill - your post makes me grateful for my extended family only coming around once every 5-10 years!

06-17-2014, 08:32 AM
I'm going to watch a HIIT workout tonite - see if it's in the realm of possibility for me. There's a free one I Googled - involves burpees and jumping jacks. I hope the house will stand up to it :lol:

Dagmar :strong:

06-17-2014, 08:42 AM
Jessica, the DB (aged about 4) and the SO dug a pond about ten years ago and we introduced the toads as spawn from a place nearby. I'm very happy to come across them from time to time as I go about my business in the garden.

06-17-2014, 09:16 AM
Went from work practically straight to gym and spin class, walked home, ate dinner at 8:15 in front of laptop watching final episode of "Madmen" Season 4, and after that, straight to bed.

I'm hoping today I get a half-hour or so to just stare into space over a half-read newspaper.

06-17-2014, 10:08 AM
Dagmar, how was the HIIT video? The DVDs I do have some. HIITs in them but they are only 30 seconds so I don't know if they are really effective. I try to really run hard during those so I get the benefit, but sometimes I space out.

Saef, hope you get that rest!
Krampus, I'm shocked that relatives would smoke at the funeral all day.

I thought this was interesting, but there is not really any diet facts we expert dieters don't already know. Hopefully the link works, in WSJ today, ex NFL player cutting 4700 calories a day to lose weight. s_Personal_Journal&mg=reno64-wsj& 1424052702303827304579622621765753230.html%3Fmod%3 Drss_Personal_Journal

06-18-2014, 01:17 PM
Hi all,
It's been hectic for me here, too, hence my lack of checking in! Work is always really busy this time of year, and to top it off we have several major staff openings right now and we're being asked to do more so everyone is trying to pick up the slack. I'm headed to Texas for a work sampling campaign on the coast next week. I'm sort of excited because I've never been to TX at all, but a bit nervous about the campaign itself. Of course some of my weekend busy-ness is self-imposed. Last weekend I went blueberry & blackberry picking, hosted a sushi night at my house, and went snorkeling with friends. I had so much fun but was tired for the work week! BF has also been busy and is in the thick of his charter season. Most of my hectic schedule has led to sweating and eating less or normal amounts of food, and I am eating tons of fruits and veggies. I was sticking closer to strict maintenance habits last month but I was getting to that bad mental place where I was considering tracking more (which just drives me crazy and never results in loss). Then I got busier, so now I'm just maintaining and trying to stay away from destructive mental games.

Dagmar, I try to do the HIIT stuff when BF is not home bc it definitely makes the house, which is up on pilings, shake. The dog is used to it at this point but the other weekend BF came out to observe my jumping (and grunting and cursing), then went back to hide by his computer. I'm glad I'm entertaining someone. :D

Krampus, so sorry about BF's stepdad. Smoking at the funeral. Hmm. Maybe someone should have brought some nicorette patches or gum.

Michele, glad DD's leg will be ok. What a scary accident. Enjoy your book sale today.

CalCounter, I'm with you. Exercising outside in FL in the summer is insane. I sweat enough outside for work and take the dog for walks in the evenings (we wait til it's cooler, later) so my other workouts are done indoors in the AC. I'm sure CA will be much less humid, though.

Jessica & CalCounter, I'm sorry about your MILs. Sounds very annoying.

I hope everyone else is making it through their hectic weeks, too. It must be that time of year.

traveling michele
06-18-2014, 01:21 PM
Megan-- where in Texas will you be? I'm heading to Houston Friday (I grew up there). I know I'm biased, but I love Texas!

Shannon in ATL
06-19-2014, 01:28 PM
All day long I've thought it was Wednesday. I'm pleased to realize it is actually Thursday. :)

06-19-2014, 06:27 PM
I had a moment of great insight this morning after weeks of befuddled misery. Is the alcohol withdrawal finally ending? :yay:

I have a very strong inner voice that is quite smart. I keep letting my brain cancel it out. In the past week I've let the voice guide me and I have accomplished a whole lot. I have stopped doing a bunch of things that were making me really unhappy.

I am learning to say "no" and mean it.

Now I'm ready to translate that into going into weight loss mode again to take off the 5-7 lbs. that are now jiggling around on my body.

Dagmar :crazy: no more!

06-19-2014, 09:36 PM
Dagmar, I thought I smelled smoke earlier. It was the "paradigm shifting without a clutch" smell. ;) Roll with it - that voice is as close to truth as it can get!

06-19-2014, 10:33 PM
Michele, I'll be on the coast near the Port Aransas/Corpus Christi area for a week. I'll be spending most of my days tromping around in the marsh and on boats collecting water samples and not have much free time, but if you have any must try food recommendations or must see sights I could see in the evenings I'd welcome them! This trip will be a mix of working with faculty I've worked with before and get along with, as well as newer folks who I don't know as well. It shouldn't be stressful but I do need to put my best food forward and act semi-intelligent. I'm taking the day off tomorrow but will be at home studying my marsh plants (not my strength at all).

Dagmar, one's inner voice is often wise. For me the trick is to quiet down enough to hear what it's saying. Sounds like you've gotten there - good for you.

traveling michele
06-20-2014, 12:31 AM
Awesome Dagmar! Stay strong!

Megan... I'm not real familiar with that area as I haven't been there since college. It will probably be quite similar to Florida in many ways. I'd love to hear what you think!

Shannon in ATL
06-20-2014, 10:10 AM
Definitely pay attention to the inner voice, Dagmar! It is wise. :)

06-20-2014, 10:18 AM
Would everyone's life be better if each of us listened to our own inner voices?

My problem is deciding between the advice given by different inner voices. There are several (which makes me sound crazy, but it's the truth). One is intuitive. One is authoritative and critical. Now conventional wisdom is that my intuition is always right and represents my better self. But in my experience, it has been wrong. And my critical thinking has been right and said some smart things. I'm used to listening for both because one helps me write new material, the other helps me rethink it, revise it, tighten it up. I need both. And sometimes I confuse my intuition with the voice of my anxiety. Anyway, how do you know which one is talking? Honestly most of the time I can't tell.

06-20-2014, 12:18 PM
Often the voice that I find I resonate with the most is the one that says "You don't have to put up with this sh!t."

But as with all inner voices, I wait a bit and consider my options.

Intuition often isn't a voice at all.

And calling something "intuition" may or may not be correct. Sometimes I think it's intuition when it's just knee-jerk or conditioned response on a subliminal level.

Anxiety voices are never helpful. They are all "What are you going to DOOO?!" "What will happen NOWW?!" "That may be OK today, but what about toMORROOWWW?!"

Really. STFU, anxiety. Not helping.

Meditation helps; but one has to set aside time, and then watch what happens when you try to sit and be quiet for even 10 minutes. Or even 5 minutes! And you have to be willing to keep setting aside the time and keep sitting for the minutes you've decided on. At first it seems pointless, but the fact that it does, only highlights the problem.

06-20-2014, 07:01 PM
My inner voice differs with the time of day. Usually anxiety voice shows up in the wee hours of the morning. Cerebral logical voice shows up in the evening. The quiet, quiet "gut feeling" voice that is the one I should be listening to more often generally shows up sometime when I'm out with the dogs. Or when I'm out walking by myself in the early morning. I'm usually fairly happy and relaxed when it whispers to me.

Jayell I find I can meditate or the equivalent of for me - quiet the mind - when I'm moving far better than when I'm sitting still. So I meditate when I'm out walking or paddleboarding and I used to do it when I jogged with my own dog in the mornings. :crazy:

Dagmar :yoga:

06-20-2014, 08:15 PM
I'm not sure that that would be "kosher" meditation, Dagmar, ;) but it does sound like a wonderful practice.

06-21-2014, 06:39 AM
I made a bit of a mistake in saying that I do walking meditation when out with my dog groups. I do feel happier with them but it's not a meditative state as I constantly have to monitor them and interact with them. :coach:

I'm not endorsing these people at all but this is a description that quite well matches what I do re "walking" meditation.

Not the traditional form but it works for me. I always feel much calmer and my minds quiets down when I walk alone for awhile. I could also do this with my dog when jogging as I didn't have to mind what she was doing - she was trained to stay fairly close to me while we jogged and we were on a boardwalk at 6 a.m. so no traffic or people to worry about.

Jogging was really an intense body connecting experience for me. I was totally aware of what was happening to my body at first - what hurt, how hard it was to breathe, etc. etc. Then my body fell into a rhythm and I could start enjoying the view of the sky and lake and the trees. Most times my mind shut right down at this point and I could just BE there.

I miss that. But now I can't handle jogging. I think paddle boarding will fulfill the same need for me. I have to start getting down there on Sunday mornings. Now there'a a new obstacle - someone is doing smash and grabs :( at the club and making their getaway in a jeep type vehicle. Not many people down there at 6 a.m. so I'm a little concerned about going. The police probably couldn't find the club either. City life - ARRRGH!

Dagmar :yoga:

06-21-2014, 06:51 PM
We had one of those beautiful sunny blue sky summer days today - not too hot but perfect for wearing a t shirt and shorts. DH and I went for a kayak this morning and it was beautiful! Not too much wind and not many people out yet.

I'm finding that we get out on the water a lot more if I make it the first priority of the day. DH will get out of bed for kayaking.

Going to see "Godzilla" tonite - my choice.