Depression and Weight Issues - Ups & Downs Support Group: June 2014

06-01-2014, 08:02 AM
:welcome3: to the Ups & Downs Support Group! Here is our June 2014 thread! Everyone is welcome to join the group, as long as you are willing to give and receive support in your weight loss journey. We named the group Ups & Downs to reflect the many ups and downs in our weight loss journeys, in our life with depression and (for some) on meds, and in life in general. If you are a regular, please post to let us know you found the new thread. If you are new to the group, please tell us a little (or a lot) about yourself. This is OUR forum, so post away!!! :D Group hug! :grouphug:

06-01-2014, 10:24 AM
:D Happy June, everyone! We finally have beautiful weather here. Winter was l-o-n-g and spring has been wet and cold but yesterday and today have brought warm weather and cloudless blue skies. It has improved my mood so much; I feel spectacular!

Today will be a busy day for me. After more than a year without contact from any old friends, two college friends are stopping by the house for lunch and to catch up this afternoon. I informed them I'm on a special diet program, so there won't be any carbs or sweets but I've got some beautiful vegetables and will be making a lovely tossed salad. I'll mix up some tuna salad with low-fat mayo and have cheeses and a variety of raw nuts for protein. The friend who has hens is even going to bring some fresh, home-grown hard boiled eggs. :) They are not going to recognize me. :D The friends, not the hens. Just thought I'd make that clear.

Weights and measures this morning and I hit my 2-pound weight loss goal for the week. I'm 19 pounds away from Onederland and am thinking about changing up my schedule so to hit the gym M/W/F and take T/TH for rest days. My final decision on that depends on what the doctor says on Thursday. If she decides it is time for me to transition back to a standard diet, then I definitely will need to make the adjustment.

Have an absolutely beautiful Sunday, everyone.

06-01-2014, 12:12 PM
Yay, it's JUNE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:carrot:

So to update everyone at once, I went to the store yesterday and fit into a pair of size 18 shorts! To add to it, they are a little baggy! I bought them anyway because I'll be in desperate need of them when it gets sweltering around here. I could fit into the 16's, but they were snug and would be pretty uncomfy to wear. I'm close though!!!

Sorry I've been MIA awhile, this week has been pretty busy. My government class is kicking my butt. It's both a boring and difficult class. :/ But I'm doing my best and I'm determined to get an A. I won't let this stupid class mess with my 4.0! If I got through math with an A I can get through this too!

Vermont- Awesome job on being so close to your goal!!!! Woot!

Ibelieveinme2- Your so very close to being in the 100's. I will include you in my prayers. God will see you through as he has so far on your journey! I worked with a trainer once for a free session at my gym. I didn't really like it. I'm a shy quiet person and honestly I don't feel like they understand me as a person and my workout routines. They push me in things that I know are terrible for my knees and leave me hardly able to walk the next day. I am really excited about our trip and yes it is to Nashville, IN. Really nice place I'm told. Another short week!!

lostbutstilltrying-I'm so very sorry for the rude remarks. It is a sad fact of our society. I wish more people knew the difficulty of losing weight. They think it is so easy to do but it is the hardest thing to accomplish.

worththeeffort- I love that quote! I'm going to write it down in my weight lifting journal that I take to the gym with me and look at it when I feel like I'm struggling. Awesome you'll be able to show off your hard work to your friends! I love seeing someone I haven't in a long time and getting the praise and encouragement that follows!

seabiscuit- Not sure if I've mentioned this or not, but I met my husband on an online dating site. It was a free one and I had to get through a lot of frogs, but when I found him, I can honestly say I knew I would marry him. That was almost 4 years ago. We began seeing each other around this time and officially called ourselves a coupe on June 8th I think. We will be celebrating 4 years together as a couple this weekend and two years together in marriage. I used to be embarrassed to say I met him online when we were dating, but now I couldn't be more proud!

I have been doing so well with my eating. I've stopped tracking calories and am really just trying to eat sensibly and watch my portion sizes. I've also learned not to go back for seconds and be satisfied with what I had. I treat myself so I don't go overboard too. I think it is working well. Right now my goal is to get into smaller clothes, I'm only using the scale to make sure I'm not going backwards. As I'm weight lifting, I know my body composition is going to be different than it was pre pregnancy. Thank you to whomever it was that mentioned it hasn't been very long since my pregnancy. This journey takes time and I've come to understand that! My husband is so very sweet and tells me constantly how beautiful I am, definitely a motivator and pick me up when I'm looking in the mirror and feel fat and ugly. It doesn't help I have terrible stretch marks, but he looks behind all of that and I know he loves me for me. He's also so very supportive in my eating and exercise. I love him so very much and can't wait to celebrate 4 years together and 2 years married this weekend. :dizzy::carrot::D

Well, I'm off to make a few more posts and then probably do some homework... ugh:devil: and some other things around the house. I hope everyone is having a wonderful first day of June and a great Sunday!

06-01-2014, 07:24 PM
Hi there.

I just thought I'd pop over and check in. I'm feeling a bit fatigued from the head cold but it seems to be lessening in severity, I think the new antibiotic is helping.

Fleurdelis- thanks for your post. I think that this one guy seems very nice, I have my doubts about a few others.

I have to do more packing and I feel so drained from this cold...

Take care!


06-01-2014, 07:45 PM
Hi ladies,

I have been working on math, getting ready for a math test on Wednesday. Just a a lot on my plate right now. I flunked my Unit 2 math review last Wednesday so I studied really hard for it and just now passed it today. (Sunday) Now I have to pass the Unit 2 test on Wed. I have 3 chances to pass but still I want to pass it with 1 or maybe 2.

I am getting over a really bad cold. I was so full of crap. I was taking DM pills to break it up so I could breath and I was taking cold pills so I would stop sneezing. I was miserable and I also missed some work.

My weight has gone up a bit but I am still happy. Life just has so much to give me and I am so lucky. When I am ready, I will shed some weight.

I got my left ear pierced a while back. It looks pretty cool. It's called an industrial piercing. I have it in both ears now. I love the look but I need another piercing to go with it. Google Industrial piercing and it'll show you what it looks like.

I hope you all are well and you are in my thoughts.

Fiona W
06-01-2014, 11:20 PM
Wow, it sounds like everyone would be doing real well if it weren't for those nasty spring viruses. Hang in there, folks: the summer will dry those suckers into non-existence.

Ohio— Hey, I like the look of those industrial piercings! Anything with the word "industrial" in it sounds awesome to me anyway, because I used to be really into industrial rock music. Good luck in all your math efforts! =smile=

Amy— I'm glad you got the antibiotic, but don't forget that it will add to how drained you feel, for a while, until the virus is gone. Gook luck with your packing!

Fleur— Size 18 shorts—how fabulous! Especially because they're comfortably loose! I haven't worn a pair of shorts in so many years...but I'll get there, one day at a time. Here's wishing you great weather to wear your shorts in!

Worthy— 19 pounds away from Onederland—how exciting! No wonder you want to hit the gym more often... you go girl!

Kathleen— What's goin' on in your life? How's your eating been lately? Do tell...I'm ready to listen. =smile=

Here's just a little photo ( of the kittens: the solid-color adult you see is their mom, Cherry Bomb, and the striped adult is her mother, Penny. Apparently Grandma's been hanging out with the litter, who are now 6 weeks old. They've just been weaned onto solid food, and are doing well. I think that's my Oscar whom you see lolling around on the leopard-print blanket. 'Still don't know which female will be mine: the breeder will be picking one of the 3 females for her breeding program, but she won't know which one until they're about 8 wks old.

06-01-2014, 11:44 PM
Hi there!

Ohio- good luck with math! I struggled with math for years, then I had my teacher and a fellow student tutor me which made all the difference. Keep at it!!!

Fi- thanks, I am on the new antibiotic for the second day, I feel better and less fatigued, so that's awesome! Your kitties are cute!

I would write more but I'm exhausted, gonna hit the hay!

Take care, good night!


06-02-2014, 08:09 AM
Hello! thank you Kathleen for starting the June thread in such a timely fashion :D

I am SO impressed with you ladies who are in school..I am too lazy to do such a thing and I admire you having the courage to do so.

thanks for the cute kitten pic, Fi!

I hope Ohio is getting over her awful cold, and I hope you feel better too Amy, especially that you have to attack the moving/packing deal. Congrats on your kewl piercing, Ohio!

Fleur, congrats on fitting into a smaller size, and having them BAGGY to boot!!! baggy feels so good in the butt doesn't it :D

I worked hard on Saturday to prepare to have off yesterday, because it was forecast to be absolutely gorgeous, and it was. Spent all day on our motorcycles, over 200 miles, my husband has the 'raccoon' look with the sunburn, my face is still pale because i put so much suncreen/product, I don't want any more wrinkles than necessary.

I might not be as close to my goal as I was a few days ago, have been eating too much, gotta get back to the straight and narrow!

Hi to everyone else :hug:

06-02-2014, 10:30 AM
I'm new to the group, so I'll explain a little bit why I'm here. I've dealt with depression since around age 13 (I'm turning 19 this summer) and it is especially bad in the summer. I do not enjoy the heat, picnics and parties make me anxious and most importantly, I don't normally do anything since I'm not in school. However, with this being my second summer out of school and my first summer having a job, I'm really thinking that this year will be different since I won't be bored and feeling lazy every day. :D

I'm an emotional eater for sure, in both ways. I eat a lot when I'm really happy, and when I'm feeling depressed. And my weight has gone up and down and up again from 220-205 so much over the last year and nine months (I started when I met my boyfriend) so this group feels like a perfect match for me.

Fiona- Adorable kitties! I've always wanted an orange one. I have 8 cats and aside from one brown one they're all mixtures of black, white and grey. I'll have to share a picture of my babies some day.

Fleur Congrats on a size 18! I'm trying to get out of that size myself and down into a 16 for the first time since starting high school. Good luck!

I'm feeling good today. Yesterday was a rough day of work as I was on the floor - I should mention I work at JCPenney - instead of the register and was the only one doing actual work to boot. So I was running all over trying to do everything. It was great exercise! Today though I only have a 5 hour day, so it'll be much lighter than my typical day. I'll have to make up for the shorter shift somehow.

06-02-2014, 12:13 PM
Hi there.

I'm starting to panic because my landlord wanted to show my apartment today but I think he's going to show it Wednesday. I'm frantically trying to clean. Does anyone know how to clean marble countertops?! There's some water that splashed back and there's a rusty residue, ugh. I can't wait to move but dealing with this landlord in the mean time is a bit stressful.

Thanks for listening.


06-02-2014, 01:00 PM
Hi all!

Had a busy weekend again. Finally got my lousy tenant evicted, but she was dragging her feet getting the last of her stuff out. Fortunately I've already rented it to a new tenant, but they are on a governement program that requires certain things done to the house, like screens on all windows, double vented h/w heater, etc. So I spent most of Saturday over there working on the punch list while the old tenant got her stuff out. Didn't get done until 8pm and I was SO sore and hot (the a/c was out). I kept having to stick my head in the freezer. Then the old tenant "accidently" locked herself out of the house after she had gotten out everything she wanted to keep, but all the junk was still there. So I had to go over Sunday afternoon and finish cleaning out all the trash. Thankfully Dad is supposed to fix the A/C today and the tenant will start moving in tomorrow and the hopefully the drama will cease!

I've been letting my house go to pieces lately, so I went in full out attack mode last night. Scrubbed the bathroom from top to bottom, washed all the curtains, rugs, & throw pillows, dusted, vacuumed, mopped and scrubbed the kitchen and living room. I didn't get to bed until midnight, but I know if I start the week with a messy house, it will stay messy the whole week. I still have the bedrooms and my workout room, but I'll get to those tonight. Hopefully once workout room is inviting again I'll use it! lol

So, that's what's been up with me. Exciting as all get out, istn't it? :D

06-02-2014, 05:55 PM
I posted in the wrong thread.

My eating was very good over the weekend. Under 1000 calories both days. I'm really feeling motivated. Today I go to the grocery store. I go once a month. While I didn't get any junk food, the temptation is going to be there to binge on some of the healthier snacks I got. If I do that just means no snacks for the rest of the month as I won't be going back to the grocery store.

06-02-2014, 05:57 PM
Melarie: :welcome: to the group! Glad you posted! Best wishes to you in your weight loss journey. I hope you will find the group to be supportive of your goals. :)

06-02-2014, 08:43 PM
Hi Melarie, Welcome to the group. Sounds to me like you are going to fit right in here.

Hi lilturtle, man, it sounds like you are right on track and focused. That is fantastic.

MonteCristo, it also sounds like are focused. that is wonderful.

Amy, it sounds like you under some stress with your residence. I hope that in time, it will resolve itself. Now about my math, I may need a tutor too. This stuff isn't for the weary of heart.

Holly, it's so good to see you sweetie. I hope you are well. Hope you are riding your motorcycle as much as you want to. My cold is finally breaking up and I am back to work. This last cold was a wicked one, I'm still trying to get rid of the gross crap.

I have to take my Unit 2 Math Test on Wednesday. Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers, ladies. I need all the special thoughts when it comes to math, that I can get. You wouldn't think percentages would be that hard but there are so many formulas to learn. *sweating* The Unit test is over 3 whole chapters and there is a ton of info to memorize.

Fiona W
06-02-2014, 10:42 PM
Nice to meet you, Melarie! I think you'll find that if you post here often, daily if possible, it will really help you stay motivated. Amy, I'm sorry to hear your landlord is making your packing so stressful. Lisa, I'll have you in my prayers: good luck with that math! Kathleen, I miss hearing about what's going on in your life. Everyone else: I'm thinking about you!

Well, I had a nice day off from everything. I had to stop myself several times from doing things for the BERP (Big Entropy Reduction Project), that's how much it's become my life. I wrote one postcard, but other than that I didn't do anything for anyone else. I mostly worked on decorating the front and back covers of my art journal. I want to be ready to show it to my great-niece Grace on Saturday, when she's supposed to have her own art journal decorated, too. I have a few more things to add to it, but the bulk of the work is done. My collage studio is filling up with piles of books that I've moved up from downstairs, so I gotta get those squared away before Saturday, too.

I did have a significant mood slump in the afternoon: depression pain, pretty bad. Maybe my brain is feeling all the stress from the BERP, and it needed to take a dive for a few hours. But tonight I'm good, and I got my leg exercises done without too much strain. I've been slacking off on those for a while, so I needed to get back with the program. I plan to make an early night of it, and attack the BERP with a vengeance in the morning.

06-03-2014, 08:08 AM
good morning ladies!

Fi, I'm glad you gave yourself a day off from your big project. But sorry to hear of the afternoon slump. Great to tackle your leg exercises, that can only help us :)

Lisa (Ohio)- I am sending you math power thoughts :D hoping you ace it! I'm not a lover of numbers, I am a word lover, haha. Again I am so impressed by adults who work to improve by further education, as that's something I've not done, cause I'm a scaredy-cat :devil: so I am in awe of you :love: I hope you're getting all the crud out of you from your wicked cold! Oh and yes I am riding alot :moped: and loving it.

Amy (seabiscuit) - Oh I wish I had advice on how to clean marble countertops, I have nothing so nice here, LOL. But I'm sorry you're feeling stress from knowing the landlord wants to show your place.

Lilturtle - wow congrats on being so on-program! and buying wisely at the grocery store. I forget if I congratulated you on losing 100 pounds in a year...CONGRATULATIONS!! :D :cheer2:

Monte Cristo - I'm glad the lousy tenant is finally gone! it must have been so hot working without the a/c. And jeez, you sound like a cleaning dervish :devil: I hope your house stays clean :D

Worthy - congrats on your 2 lb week loss AND being so close to Onederland!! I hope you had a nice visit with your college friends. Isn't some nice weather EXACTLY what we need :D I'm so glad you are feeling as spectacular as the weather!!

Melarie, - Hi and :welcome: to our group! I'm so sorry that you've suffered from depression at such an early age. Congrats on already being down 25 pounds!! And I hope your job doesn't tire you out too much, but i have found that a job that MAKES you stay on your feet does strengthen you, even though it makes us feel tired.

Hi to Kathleen, Sabrina, Chelsea, Lost, and I haven't forgotten about projectjudi, 1life, alita, and my friend from YEARS here Ms. Hope

I have to take my car to a collision/body repair shop, a man rolled right though his stop sign and collided with my car, the jerk :devil: I yelled at him, 'I am usually on my motorcycle, this could have been so much worse!" It happened like a mile from my work. Very minor damage, but I want my car exactly as it was BEFORE his error.

I also am LOVING our late spring weather (our lilacs just bloomed; my irises have not bloomed yet) I am just so much happier about everything. I am such a different person now, than in winter.

Been trying very very hard to stay on the straight and narrow diet path, it is difficult wtih my summer job..yesterday I made a batch of coffee ice cream, a batch of lime sherbet, and only allowed myself a tiny taste of each to correct flavor.

06-03-2014, 03:25 PM
Today, I am emotionally drained. I had a run-in with my mom over the weekend and again yesterday. It was about our trip to Ireland. Did I already mention that my family is traveling to Ireland with my parents for my niece's wedding there??? Well, the run-in was a typical attempt by my mother to manipulate and be passive-aggressive with me. This has gone on my entire life. And, at the age of 47, I have FINALLY had enough of her b.s.!!! I decided that I am going to be honest with her as much as possible now, because I do not want to have regrets and unspoken resentments toward my parents when they "move on." (My dad is 85 and my mom is 80.) Anyway, I won't bore you with the details, but I am very proud of myself that I didn't emotionally eat over this latest episode. (However, I was thinking, "No wonder I have issues and I'm overweight!") It is so difficult to break free of the "chains" that bind me from my childhood, mainly because the same dysfunctional patterns and behaviors still go on with my parents, especially my mom.

Walked a bit at the lake this weekend, but didn't get a lot of exercise in. We were busy celebrating my daughter's 15th birthday. She took a friend to the lake. The weather was PERFECT again this past weekend!!! :sunny: This morning, I am back on board. I worked out with my trainer and will be going to the gym twice tomorrow (once for strength training and another time for cardio while my daughter strength trains with our trainer). I went to the store yesterday and stocked up on healthy foods, so food has been really good the past few days. I stepped on the scale last week and have basically stayed at the same weight. I need to get that d@mn # on the scale to move DOWN!!! I am driving myself crazy about it! :dizzy: It seems that something always comes up and/or I get derailed from my weight loss efforts, but I am NEVER giving up!!! I just won't!!!

Worthy: I hope your visit with your college friends went well. Congrats on hitting your 2-pound weight loss for the week and being 19 pounds away from ONEderland!!! That is great and really exciting! :D

Sabrina: HOORAY for a baggy size 18!!! That is awesome! So is your 4.0!!! :carrot: Hope you get that A in your government class. Keep up the great work with your healthy and portion-controlled eating! Thank you for keeping me in your prayers. I am close to the 100s, but my weight has been stalled here for SO VERY LONG, so I feel a bit hopeless about it. I DO have faith that all things are possible with God, though, and believe me, I have been asking for His help. I keep reminding myself that it is about God's timing and NOT mine!

Amy: I hope your packing is coming along okay. Sorry you have been so drained from your head cold and allergies. My allergies have bothered me a lot lately, too. Hope your landlord gave you more time before showing your place. Not sure how to clean marble countertops. Sorry! You have a lot of stressors in your life right now. Be patient with and kind to yourself! :)

Lisa: Good luck with your math!!! I will keep you in my prayers on Wednesday! Let us know how your test goes. I certainly do not envy you. I would hate going back to school after ALL these years!

Trish: So happy to hear that your eating has been well and you are feeling very motivated! :D

MonteCristo: Sounds like you have been incredibly busy cleaning your house and fixing things for your new tenant! Hope you get some "down time" (as in relaxation) soon. :D

Fi: So sorry to hear that you had a mood slump and depression pain again yesterday. Glad you recovered by evening and got your leg exercises done. I hope that as you attack that BERP today, you are remembering to take your necessary breaks! What a relief it will be for you once the BERP is complete and your kittens have arrived! OMGosh, btw, those kittens are so darn cute! :love:

Holly: So sorry about the jerk who rolled through a stop sign and collided with your car. Glad you weren't on your motorcycle and that you are okay! Hope you can get everything repaired and back to its previous condition soon and without event! Happy to hear that you are much happier now that the nicer weather has finally arrived! Enjoy your bike riding and be careful!!! :D :bike:

Waving HELLO to everyone else!!! :wave:

06-03-2014, 03:47 PM
Kathleen - OH I am so sorry to hear of the strife with your mom!! You did mention the trip to Ireland but I didn't know it was to be with family..hmmm..yes there is strong possibility of tension there! If you want, please do type out what you are feeling, you will not bore me at all..or type it out and delete it..or send it PM. If it would help you . HOwever how GREAT that you did not 'eat your emotions'!!!

I can only advise, about making the scale budge, that what is working for me, is eating so much less than I want :( sad face but I am getting 'kinda' used to it. What I thought was unbearable hunger pangs before, I know that I can get through now, without dying :D

a thought ...baring our childhood demons here, that have affected us our grown-up lives?? some have already mentioned child abuse :( :( :( I had nothing that awful, thank goodness..but I was scarred, I know, from growing up without a father. At my age now, fifty-stinking-three years old, :D I still YEARN for a dad to 'take care' of me, you know, take care of my car, I don't know, things a dad would do, protect me..I also want to be an independent woman, who can do things for herself/on her own...conflicts! .I was watching the movie "Grease" recently, and when a girl said to Sandy, 'the only man a girl can trust is her father' just made me tear up. Because our dad did visit us, but sometimes he would miss a visit.

06-03-2014, 04:31 PM
Thanks everyone for all the support. I haven't slept hardly at all the last two nights. I feel bad physically and everytthing I eat is making me sick. I hope I sleep tonight.

06-03-2014, 04:50 PM
Thanks for all the welcomes guys!

seabiscuit - when we had marble counter tops we used baking soda, a teaspoon of cream and tartar and just enough peroxide to make a paste. Use an old toothbrush to rub it on, let it sit for 30 minutes and then wipe it off with a wet cloth. I feel your landlord pain. When we moved out of our apartment we cleaned for 3 days straight and still didn't get our deposit back. Good luck.

fiona - glad you got through your slump! And an art journal soundss like an awesome idea. I've been wanting to get back into drawing and other arty things, maybe decorating a journal would be good project to get me moving on it.

IBelieveInMe2 - Sorry about the stuff with your mom. Hopefully the honesty thing will improve your relationship in time. And great job not giving in to the emotional eating! Not an easy thing to resist I know.

Holly- Thank God you weren't on your bike! Hopefully the nice weather you're having keeps up so you can ride. My mom and step dad ride, but the weather here hasn't been great and when it is, he's on the road. So you have your own bike? That's awesome. I'd be way too afraid to drive one. I can barely even drive a car without panicking.

Speaking of driving, I need to get out and drive again. My mom had me drive like half a mile the other day and I started crying when we pulled into our driveway, just from nerves lol. But I hadn't driven in a year, in my defense.

And if we're airing or childhood issues here, I guess I'll mention that I've been feeling down about my relationship with my dad lately. A new friend of mine at work was talking about fishing with her dad and it reminded me of how close we used to be. We would always go fishing and wash the cars together on the weekends and then when I got a bit older it stopped. When my parents divorced it totally ruined our relationship. Now that I'm an adult, he doesn't even invite me over anymore.. I haven't seen him in months and it bothers me a lot more than I expected or like to admit. I wanted nothing to do with him as a teenager, so why am I so bothered?

06-03-2014, 05:46 PM
... Now that I'm an adult, he doesn't even invite me over anymore.. I haven't seen him in months and it bothers me a lot more than I expected or like to admit. I wanted nothing to do with him as a teenager, so why am I so bothered?

Because it is his DUTY to love and care about you!!! :mad: I am sorry to be so abrupt but holy heck. Hey, we are all awful as teenagers, we should not be held responsible for our teenage years :devil: but you are a young adult now. I am so very sorry that he is missing from your life. That is not right. I hope he realizes SOON that he needs to keep in contact with you, before you get jaded and write him out of your life completely.

Okay I am off my soapbox, lol. Yes I have my own bike, I was scared at first but wanted to conquer it more than the scaredness, so I had to force myself. Now I love it more than anything! I'm really lucky because we'r quite rural, and I can ride to work, so it's a 46 miles round trip of beautifullness. You're in Ohio? One of our favorite biker parties is in Chillicothe, and we have friends near Columbus.

I'm sorry driving gives you such anxiety :( Hopefully if you go for short drives in low-traffic areas, that will help ?

Lilturtle, so sorry to hear you don't feel well. I hope you can sleep tonight!

06-03-2014, 08:55 PM
Fiona- Those kitties are so cute!!! Do you have any other cats besides the two you will be getting from the litter? Glad you were able to get out of the slump from earlier.

Ohio- Good luck on the math test. I finished a statistics class a while ago and man was it challenging.

Vermont- What an awesome day! Glad you got to get in a lot of miles. I remember riding with my dad on perfect days like that. The best part of summer! Glad your a stickler for the sunscreen, I am too when I'm going to be outside a while. I burn so badly if I don't. I'm glad to hear you weren't on your bike during that accident! Also, in regards to hunger pains, it helps me a lot to drink a lot of water when I think I'm hungry. Gives me that full feeling. I eat a lot less than when I was pregnant and actually feel content with it, guess it's because Isabelle isn't siphoning all my energy and calories!

lil turtle- I hope you feel better!

Ibelieveinme2- I rely so very much on God's will. He has a plan for all of us and his timing is truly his own. Sorry to hear about the issues you've been having with your mom. Definitely a good thing that you are making a chance so you don't regret anything later. And two a days at the gym??? GO YOU!!! It's neat you're working out with your daughter. It's always nice to have a buddy in the gym.

Melarie- Welcome to the group! Hopefully we will get into size 16's together! I always think of myself as being young, but when you say you've only been out of high school for two years, I realize I'm not as young as I feel. haha! I'm 24 btw, but it feels like yesterday that I just got out of high school. I'm sorry to hear about your relationship with your dad, maybe you could write him a letter to tell him how you feel?

Went to the gym today and had a really good weight lifting workout. Benched 50lbs which is my highest bench press to date. Pretty exciting for me! :) Did well with food today as well.

Got to work on some homework now!

seabiscuit- I hope your landlord lays off!

Monte- Sounds like me when I go on a cleaning binge!

06-03-2014, 09:21 PM
Hi there!

I went to volunteer work at the hospital today but I didn't stay for my shift because I have been fighting a sinus infection. I gave out cards to my co-workers and I gave and received lots of hugs. I will miss them so much. I had a lot of laughs with them, and one of the CT scan techs brought in cookies and brownies for me. I was so touched! :D. I have found a lot of my co-workers on Facebook, so I sent a few messages.

My apologies for not writing personals tonight but I am very tired from the antibiotic and I am trying to get my apartment tidy for my landlord showing it tomorrow.

I'm considering doing a hospital based outpatient weight loss program. I'm going to check out one of the sessions, the first one is free!

Take care!


06-03-2014, 10:01 PM
Helloooooo friends.

It has been a rather long day. We tried to get Jennifer's car tires balanced. I won't go into details but we were there 2 hours and nothing happened. I am pooped.

Jennifer and I came home and ate pizza, then we cleaned the living room and kitchen together.

I need to study tonight. I have my Unit 2 test tomorrow. I have hope I will pass. I have been studying my arse off and I have a tutoring session tomorrow.

I am still trying to get over my cold. I know it's TMI but blowing my nose is always interesting. Jennifer said to me today, "aren't you over that yet?" I just can't seem to get it to break up.

FleurDeLis, I evidently have to take a statistics class too. bleh

lilturtle, feel better soon, hon.

fiona, an art journal sounds like a great idea. yay!!!!

Kathleen, I am so sorry about not getting along with your mom. I used to not get along with mine, she used to be so manipulative. She's kind of quit. I like her a lot more now.

I'll write back more to the rest of you later. I'm really tired. Much love to you all.
Malerie, Holly, seabiscuit hugs to you all.

06-03-2014, 11:01 PM
This is my first "support group" I've joined. I've had a problem with depression ever since I was in middle school, I'm 23 now. Last June I was 160 lbs and I got down to 122 by December from exercising and eating healthy. I was surrounded by friends in my home town in Iowa and wanted to surprise my husband who is in the military and was gone at the time. Since then, we have been relocated to San Diego, California where I have no friends or family, although I have tried, maybe not hard enough. Anyways, my husband left for 3 months to North Carolina and I've fallen into a slight depression, missing him and my mother and aunt who I am extremely close with. I've gained weight and am depressed every time I look in a mirror at my body. I'm currently 132 bs (I know, I should be happy, but this body image ordeal kind of messes you up and all I can picture is myself gaining weight back to 160). I try to exercise but it's just not the same alone and none of my work peers are into exercising so I barely work out. Have any of you experienced a similar situation and do you have any advice?

Fiona W
06-04-2014, 02:25 AM
Oh man, folks, this BERP (Big Entropy Reduction Project) is the biggest sustained decluttering effort I've ever done in my life, by a long ways, so I'm really working hard. I had a very productive day today, and I'm exhausted. Because we need more boxes to move the rest of the unwanted books out of the house, I switched my efforts to the kitchen, where I've had three full boxes worth of papers stashed, plus some stuff that wasn't boxed. Most of it dates back to 2008 & 2009, but I was surprised to discover that back then I was still hanging onto stuff from '00! Whoa, and even a letter from my father in the second box: that was stressful for me to see.

Y'all will probably think I'm callous to say this, but I'm not sorry at all that my dad is dead: he really tortured me psychologically right up 'til the very end, by refusing to let me fly down to Texas and say goodbye to him before he went. And then at the very last minute he did a number on me by telling my mother that he wished I were there with him! After he insisted on my not coming down! Fortunately my sister knew he had ordered me not to come, so when my mother started laying a guilt trip on me about not saying goodbye to him, she helped me convince her that it wasn't my fault...sheesh. He had really interesting handwriting, so I'm saving what was probably my last letter from him for use in collage. I may never use it, but that's better than just consigning it to the recycle bin.

I did have another dip in my mood in the late afternoon, probably because I was processing all that stuff. It wasn't as bad as Monday's, though. All the same, I thought sundown would never come and bring me relief. I like the longer days, for sure, but my diurnal rhythm is such that if I have a mood slump like that, I crave night time, which pulls me out of it. Just lying in the darkness and listening to my favorite deejay's rock-n-roll show was really restorative...

And I did my leg exercises tonight—my left leg, which is always tougher than the right. They weren't bad at all: even though I don't have time to walk these days, I'm moving around a lot and going up & down the stairs more frequently and lugging around heavy boxes & heavy bags of stuff out for recycling, so I'm a lot more active than I was before the BERP started.

I need to go to bed, so I don't have time for extended personal comments, but I want to say to Kathleen that I'm so glad you're talking to us about the family issues coming up before your trip to Ireland for your niece's wedding. It sounds like a bunch of us had dysfunctional experiences growing up—not surprising, given that we have problems with mood and with our weight. Good for you for standing up to her this time, and for not giving in to emotional eating! SL36, welcome to the thread! We all try hard to be supportive of each other here, so I think you'll find this a great place to hang out. Holly, so sorry to hear about that stupid jerk messing up your car. I definitely understand what you're saying about wishing you had a dad, but as you can hear from my own experience and other people's, fathers are a mixed bag just like mothers are. Fleur, I want to answer your question about these kittens we're getting in late July or thereabouts: so far we've had two consecutive pairs of oriental shorthairs, both times male & female littermates, but they're gone now. These new kittens will be our third pair. We're childfree by choice, so cats are what we do instead of having human kids. That's why I'm pushing so hard on the BERP, to get the house in decent shape before our new fur-kids arrive! Orientals are very social & affectionate, and also very active, so I want them to have a wonderful home with lots of room to run and play.

Good night, y'all!

06-04-2014, 07:07 AM
good morning

! SL36, :welcome: and nice to meet you. First, getting from 160 to 122 is amazing!! I'm sorry you are not happy with your current weight, many of us would love where you are :D but I completely understand about YOU not being happy where you are weight-wise. Must be very lonely being transplanted in a new place and once you're an adult, it IS hard to make friends. I guess I would try to concentrate more on diet, to lose, if you are having a hard time finding the time to work out. Are you interested in home dvd's or youtube for workouts? that's what I do.

Fi, you are so committed to your project! And thanks for sharing your view of're right, I should be careful what I was wishing for :D just having a father isn't the same as having a good father.

HI to everyone else. As it's early summer, I am in my element!! enjoying watching my deck flowers thrive, transplanting seedlings, adoring my motorcycle :D and liking going to work. I wish SO much I could feel like this all year, not just from May to September.

06-04-2014, 02:25 PM
I finally slept last night! I feel a bit better. Will write more later.

06-04-2014, 08:57 PM
Hi there,

I just want to pop in and say hi. I'm doing ok, I am frustrated with trying to renew my Medicaid and food stamp benefits. I had my last session with my therapist today, I will miss him.

I'm still fighting this cold but it's getting better.

Take care everyone...


06-04-2014, 09:45 PM
:o I forgot to subscribe to the thread so have fallen behind. I've got to go back and read everyone's posts. I hit the gym Monday and today but it is definitely more crowded than on Tues/Thurs. :( I did manage to find a free crossramp machine and proceeded to do a 90-minute workout, including a 30-minute speed interval routine. I'm wiped out. :yawn:

06-04-2014, 10:52 PM
SL36: :welcome: to the group! Happy to have you here! :) I'm sorry that you have struggled with depression for such a long time. Many of us have. Congratulations on buckling down and losing almost 40 pounds last year!!! :D I would KILL for even the 160 weight right now, but I understand your concern that you will regain all of the weight you lost. It is scary and frustrating! I lost over 35 pounds about 4 years ago and did gain that and more back. The POSITIVE thing you have going for you is that you KNOW what works for you: exercise and eating healthy. It worked before, so it will most likely work again ~ to help you to lose the 10 extra pounds you've put on and STOP the weight gain. Do what you can to stop the gain NOW, so that you won't have to lose all of it again. I know that is easier said than done, but we will cheer you on all the way!!! :cheer2: Since you had the courage to post here, you are no longer alone on this journey! :hug: We all stand together with you and have weight loss as our goal, too! WE can ALL do this..... TOGETHER!!! :grouphug:

Fiona W
06-05-2014, 12:55 AM
I'm afraid I had a rough day. I had to deal with a full box with lots of images needing clipping. All the decisions I'm making are wearing me out: at one point I calculated that I was making some 200-400 decisions an hour. What to keep, what to toss. What to clip, how to clip it. Over and over and over again.

I had a pretty bad slump into depression pain that lasted far into the evening. It was especially frustrating because our niece Margaret and her 7-yr-old son Gavin came over, and sort of spontaneously they ended up staying for dinner. Eventually I couldn't take the socializing anymore, and had to excuse myself to take some extra Geodon and curl up in a ball on the couch. Embarrassing...

I can't believe I have to face the BERP again in the morning. I'm starting to hit the wall...

06-05-2014, 07:54 AM
Fleur: Yay! Congratulations on a baggy size 18 on your way to 16. How I look forward to the day I can say the same! Keep up the good work on your classes. You won't regret that, either!

Amy: Hope the cold is much better. I'm not sure about rust stains on marble. Try Googling it?

Ohio: Keep up the hard work on your math courses. I hope your cold is much better by now. How did the math test go?

Fiona: The kittens are adorable. I bet you are so excited to add them to your family. Keep BERPing!

Holly: Good on you for using sunscreen. Moisturize, moisturize, moisturize! I hate that I'm reaching the stage that wrinkles are becoming visible. Of course, the weight loss only accelerated that process. I admire you for being able to do your summer job and not spend a lot of calories "testing" your final products. ;)

Melarie: Welcome to the group! You're lucky to have a job where you can move around a lot. On those days with shorter shifts, you'll have time to get even more exercise in.

MonteCristo: Sorry about the crappy tenant but at least she's out. Definitely keeping the exercise room neat and inviting is the way to go! :)

Lilturtle: Your trip to the grocery is long-since over but you can always try the trick of eating a meal before going shopping so you're not hungry and will stick to your grocery list.

IBelieveInMe: I'm very sorry to read that you had a trying run-in with your parents. Parents do have a way of pushing buttons. I'm proud of you, too, for recognizing your triggers and staying in control of the emotional eating. Congratulations for getting back on track at the gym and grocery store. Never give up!

SL36: Welcome to the group. It must be very difficult to relocate away from friends and family. I'm not sure if you're in military housing or if spouses have access to a fitness facility. If you're a sociable person, you might make new friends by hanging out in places where other military wives hang out. I, personally, live and work in a place I've been for years but all my close friends have married and moved on to other areas of the country and other ways of life so I have been doing my weight loss program without support. It can be very difficult and lonely. The best thing you can do is get yourself a good pair of sturdy sneakers and head out the door! Get walking and explore your new city. And don't forget that sunscreen! :D

The male cardinal is sitting outside in the yard singing away like crazy. Some of you are probably surrounded by cardinals all the time and think they make a racket but where I live, they are a rare bird so we're very excited to have a nesting pair who call your property home.

I head back to the doctor this morning. I think the decision will be made today about whether or not I should transition. I go back and forth. One minute, I think it would be best to transition to a non-ketosis diet now, while the weather is good and I'm doing so well with my fitness. The next minute, I'm afraid that if I transition, my weight loss progress will slow to zero. Oh, I wish I didn't over-think things! What must it be like for people who just make a decision, boom, just like that, without agonizing over it? :?:

06-05-2014, 08:26 AM
just wanted to post that I am still alive, and while I haven't been doing great on the eating front, things are getting better and I will probably pop in this weekend and catch up with everybody - have a good rest of the week all!

06-05-2014, 01:57 PM
Hello everyone.

I passed my TEST!!!!!!!!

Now I am onto Algebra. booooooo LOL Does anyone on here know Algebra???:?: I think I'm going to need help. Actually I have a tutor once a week. I'd go more often but my class is only once a week.

SL36Welcome to the group. I feel so badly for you. It is awful when you don't feel like you have a support system. I don't have a lot of friends either. I have once good friend and I have my family. Just try to get out and make new friends. I usually make new friends at work. Just lean on us here for support. We are always here to listen.

Fi, good luck with your kittens. I totally understand what it is like to have pets that add so much to your life, that they are family.

Worththeeffort2, holymoly, girl you go. You are doing so good!!!! I wish I could work out like that.

I have bad news. My cell phone has been acting up and it might be going bad. If it does, I am sunk. I guess at some point i got pop inside it, it was all sticky when I took the back off it. I wiped it with a damp cloth but it may be ruined. I'll let you know if it continues to act up on me.

Much love to all you girls.

06-05-2014, 02:29 PM
Fiona - I am sorry you are struggling. Go easy on yourself a bit. The slump will pass and you'll be back to BERPing again.

I do my grocery shopping online. It gives me time to think about what I am ordering, check calories and compare things easier. Plus no impulse buying. It also saves time at the store. I just go and they come out and load it into the car.

06-05-2014, 03:37 PM
Well, today was my 8th graders LAST day of grade school. She is now officially a FRESHMAN in HIGH SCHOOL!!! The graduation is tonight, but they held a really nice candle ceremony along with a school mass this morning that was a real tear-jerker! :cry: The graduatiing 8th graders light their candles and then pass their light on to the upcoming 8th graders. Then the 8th graders all sing together, "Take Your Candle; Go Light Your World." It is really beautiful and so touching. I can't believe that BOTH of my kids are now in HIGH SCHOOL. I am feeling quite OLD today. But I am very happy for both of my children and feel blessed that they have both come SO FAR! My now SENIOR in high school was 2 lbs, 3 oz at birth and my now FRESHMAN was 3 lbs, 5 oz and has Spina Bifida. (Yes, I had trouble carrying my pregnancies to term! All of my children were born very prematurely and my son's twin died 14 hours after birth, for any of you who didn't know.) My kids mean THE WORLD to me, so today is a very emotional day for me. I will be somewhat relieved after the 8th grade graduation tonight. On to high school. Unbelievable!!! My "babies" are growing up so fast!!!

Lisa (ohiofreespirit): CONGRATULATIONS on PASSING your test!!!!!!!! :D That is wonderful news! :carrot: I am very happy for you! :)

Fi: So sorry you had a rough day yesterday!!! :( You have worked so hard on the BERP. Maybe you need to take more than one day off right now. Your body seems to be telling you so. Listen to it's signals. I just don't want you to overdo it and then set yourself back in the depression department. I am keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. I know how difficult clearing clutter can be (believe me!!!). You can do it! Maybe you just need a little BREAK! And that is OKAY!!! Take good care of yourself first! The clutter will wait!

lostbutstilltrying: Thanks for checking in. Glad to hear that things are beginning to get better for you.

Worthy: Best of luck deciding if you should transition in your weight loss program yet or not. Tough decision! Hope your doctor will provide you with good guidance.

Trish: Online shopping for groceries is a great idea! How convenient to make the decisions at home ~ without temptations ~ and just go and pick everything up.

Waving HELLO to everyone else!!! :wave:

06-05-2014, 09:31 PM
:congrat: Congratulations, OhioFreeSpirit! Excellent job. :hug: Hope you take time to feel really proud of yourself and give yourself a pat on the back.

Khan Academy (, free online, is a fantastic resource. 60 Minutes did a segment about the quality of the lessons posted on the site. You have to register to use the site but the courses are structured to walk folks right through them using video and audio.

06-06-2014, 12:48 AM
Congrats Ohio! Algebra is my specialty, so feel free to ask any time you need some help! Seriously, I won't mind - it's fun for me since I don't get to use that kind of math much these days :)

worththeeffort2 Thank you, and yes I am lucky. I feel so much healthier getting all that exercise and it's really helped my depression so far too! Unfortunately though, I can't work out on my short-shift-days because they're evening shifts, and I worry that exercising in the morning will have me tired halfway through the night. Maybe once I get more used to the activity though! Right now though, I don't think I can handle more exercise than work. I still have my newbie feet and back. :P

I'd write more but I'm beat and I have to be up early in the morning. Just wanted to check in and update. I'm feeling great today! I went shopping earlier and while I didn't find what I was looking for, I found a great dress for $8. It's from Nicki Minaj's line and the way it's cut is perfect for my big butt :D On top of that, I get to work with this awesome guy-friend of mine tomorrow for most of my shift!

06-06-2014, 10:14 AM
No sleep again last night. It is stress related and I don't know how to manage it. I haven't seen a psych since March. I'm on a waiting list for a therapist who once I see them will refer me to the doctor so it will be God knows how long until I see one.

06-06-2014, 11:01 PM
Hi, I hope everyone is doing well. Today was a long day but a good one. I got the keys to my new apartment and I'm looking forward to a new place to live. I just have to learn from my mistakes, I don't want history to repeat itself.

I feel a bit overwhelmed with the move and some ongoing medical issues but I think today was a good day.

Good night.


06-08-2014, 01:27 AM
I'm excited for tomorrow. I get to work with my new guy friend and we have an awesome team for closing! Should be a good day compared to the last week or so. Unless they drag him downstairs to cover a call-off. I swear somebody calls of every single day And they always pull from men's. Like hello! It's almost Father's Day, we're busy as **** in Men's!

But on another note, I got a pap smear at the beginning of May and my gyn called me the other day. I've been working during office hours every day since and won't get a chance to call back until Monday. Hoping everything is Ok! And I only have 20 hours next week, which normally would be fine, but my long distance boyfriend is coming to see me in August and I really need the money! I can not afford for every week to be like this so I hope they're just trying to fix my average for a busy week later in the month. I'll have to really save this month to make up for the lousy hours.

06-08-2014, 11:27 AM
Just a quick post this morning. It appears I've plateaued at 218. Super heavy, calorie-blasting workouts all week and no loss according to the scale. Even though it is Sunday, which is usually a day for a longer workout, I think I'll keep it light today--maybe just a walk--and give myself a bit of a break before hitting the gym hard again on Monday. Barrels of sunshine and warm temps today so I do plan to get outside and soak up some Vit. D. :)

06-08-2014, 05:31 PM
I'm still not exercising much. I go for a very short walk M-F. My mobility isn't improving. Plain old walking is a challenge still even with losing 100+ lbs. I'm really discouraged. I didn't lose any weight this week either. This is the first time I weighed myself and it wasn't lower. With not sleeping well so often I think I am eating more. I'm really frustrated.

06-08-2014, 05:45 PM
I didn't lose any weight this week either. This is the first time I weighed myself and it wasn't lower. With not sleeping well so often I think I am eating more. I'm really frustrated.

We both just need to stick with it. Don't give up. Recommit to your program and do the best you can to get your walking in. We can both do this, lilturtle. All of us can do this!

Celebrated my birthday today by taking a shopping trip. I tried on a pair of size 20 jeans and they fit. Unfortunately, they were low-rise jeans and $70. Besides that, they already had holes in them. Not a chance was I spending money on those. Since the 20 fits (down another size!), I came home and ordered 3 pair of jeans online for less than $60. ($19.99 each and a 40% off one item coupon).

We went out for lunch for the first time in eight months. I had a salad a lobster caesar salad. I forgot to ask for the dressing on the size so couldn't eat the lettuce on the bottom of the plate because it was saturated with fatty dressing. All I really wanted was the chunks of lobster, anyway. :) The salad was to fill in the gaps. :lol:

06-08-2014, 07:17 PM
Hi there!

I've had an okay day, packing, spending time with my guinea pig and fighting off the side effects from a medicine. I think I'm making progress!

Ohio- congratulations on passing your test, way to go! Math can be quite tricky, but good for you for passing, yay!

Melarie- I hope that everything is ok with your health. :hug:

Worth the effort- I know that plateaus can be so frustrating, hang in there! I've gained some weight, I've got to get it off, weight can be so tedious! Good for you for working out! :hug:

Lil turtle- hugs! :hug: :hug: :hug: I've had mobility issues too. Have you thought about physical therapy? Maybe that could help. After my ankle surgery, I ate more than I needed to and it worked against me, I can relate. Take care.

Worth the effort- Happy Birthday! My birthday is next month. I enjoy shopping too but I do too much of it. Congrats on fitting into a size 20! Yay!

Have a nice evening. :)


06-08-2014, 07:55 PM
worththeeffort2 - Happy birthday!!!

Amy, my copay for physical therapy is $30 visit. I'm going to be paying over $200 a month in therapy costs. My brother is an athletic trainer, maybe I will ask him for ideas.

Fiona W
06-09-2014, 12:02 AM
Howdy folks! Not a whole lot to say today. It's my day off from the BERP and also from socializing (yay!), since my niece Margaret and her son Gavin are coming over on Wednesday instead of Sunday.

Bob and I are Formula One fans, so we watched an exciting auto race today. Other than that, the only thing of note is that I worked on the first page of my new art journal. What's an art journal? It's like a regular journal in that you write about your life, thoughts, feelings, etc., but also you do art on the pages. You explore new techniques, try to push the envelope of where you're at creatively, that sort of thing. Most of the pages have both writing and art on them, all woven together, but some pages just have art. My great-niece Grace and I are both starting art journals: she came over yesterday for another session of helping me sort clippings, and we showed each other how we'd decorated the front & back covers of our journals. She'd already filled several pages with visual & verbal info about what she's been up to. She's off to a great start! I have to keep reminding myself that she's only 13, and trying to remember what I was like at 13. She's really a whiz at sorting my clippings, hardly ever needing to ask me "Where does this one go?"

I'm not so bummed out about the BERP anymore. I'm starting to see the baseboards in multiple rooms. Everywhere I look, I'm amazed at the spaces that have opened up. The end is not in sight yet, but I don't feel so overwhelmed. It's easy for me to think of what area to attack next: that's a good feeling. And Bob is excited, too. He's beginning to believe that we really will get our house back.

I'm too tired to do personals, so I'll just say that I'm thinking about all of you, including those who haven't checked in recently. Happy Birthday, Worthy! Size 20 is awesome! Sorry to hear you're frustrated, Trish: just hang in there & stick with your eating plan, and you'll keep losing weight. Comparing our two tickers, it looks like we're at similar points in the journey: not to halfway yet, but getting there. We can do this—we really can!

Anyway... Take care, everyone!

06-09-2014, 07:33 AM
Amy: Glad to hear you're making progress with packing.

Lilturtle: I think it's a great idea for you to talk with your brother. He might have a whole bag of tricks he can share with you.

Fiona: I'm so glad to hear that Bob is starting to come around and be positive about the changes taking place. Congrats on making progress and taking time to feel good about the progress you've made.

Back to work for me today. Yesterday's weather was so perfect. I wish every day would be just like it. :) My annual performance review is on Wednesday. Even though my job performance is top-notch, my supervisor is mercurial. Her moods are unpredictable and I am in the unfortunate position of "favorite whipping boy." Life is easier when I can stay under the radar but this week, I'll be front-and-center because of my review. Bleh.

06-09-2014, 10:50 AM
This will be really short, as I'm so busy lately. Mood has been good, thankfully, but getting nowhere on the weightloss front. Hope to turn that around this week. Possible severe awkwardness with my mom this coming weekend, but I'm going to ignore, and hope it goes away.

I'll try and get back later for a longer boss is gone this week, so I'm kind of difacto supervisor again...I'd rather be busy than bored at work, but it does cut down on my internet time! :)

06-09-2014, 01:18 PM
Hi there,

I'll make this a quick post because I need to get back to packing which is a bit overwhelming at the moment. I know I'm making progress but my anxiety level is high, which isn't helped by all of this excessive clutter. I'm a bit nervous about the movers, I've seen great reviews on yelp but I've also seen a D- grade for a moving company with the same name on the BBB website, I don't know if it's the same company.

It feels good to have vented a bit, thank you all for reading.

Take care,


06-09-2014, 03:09 PM
Hello support buddies! This might be my last post for awhile since we leave for Ireland first thing in the morning. I am busy as heck with appointments and packing and laundry before we leave. Also hope to get my house in some order before we leave since a friend is staying with our dogs there. I am running out of time. It will take us all day and night to get to Ireland due to the 5 hour time difference. I am looking forward to doing nothing but relax once we finally get on the plane! Things seem to be better with my mom, so all should be okay there. I hope we can have some good conversations with my parents while we are there.

Lilturtle: please hang in there! All will be okay and you will start losing weight again if you keep on walking and watch portions. Everyone hits plateaus from time to time. We are all here cheering you on!!! :cheer2: Big hugs to you! :hug: :hug: :hug:

06-09-2014, 03:28 PM
No sleep again last night but this was due to a toothache. I don't have dental insurance. *sigh* It sucks to be poor but not poor enough for medicaid in times like this. On the bright side, my desire to eat is really low even though I am starving.

Fiona W
06-10-2014, 01:07 AM
Another day of the BERP. I'm still working to free up book boxes ("banker's box" size) for the remaining books we're giving to charity. I spent the whole day emptying just one box, since it had a lot of magazines in it that needed to be paged through for clipping images. Clipping is the slowest, and the hardest, part of this project. At the end of a day of clipping, my eyes are so tired I have to lie in the dark for a few hours.

Tonight is the night we put out our recycles: I'm glad we have two big bins on wheels, because this week's BERP-ing filled one to the brim and the other half-full with discarded paper. I feel sorry for the men who have to pick them up and dump their contents in the truck, because paper is so heavy!

I'm too trashed to say any more. Tomorrow I'm going to do something other than clipping, that's for sure. G'night, y'all—I'm wishing for all of you a happy Tuesday!

06-10-2014, 07:16 AM
But on another note, I got a pap smear at the beginning of May and my gyn called me the other day. I've been working during office hours every day since and won't get a chance to call back until Monday. Hoping everything is Ok

this has been on my mind..have you heard the results? thinking of you!

Hi Fi, lilturtle, Amy, worth, lost, Monte C., Ohio, Sabrina, and Kathleen, who is winging her way to Ireland

Fi, what a sense of accomplishment you must be feeling each day ( I hope :) Seeing baseboards is major!

Amy, I hope your anxiety is not bad today about moving. It is a huge upheaval (literally!) isn't it.

lilturtle, very sorry about the toothache, that is the worst pain in my opinion.

Worthy, I hope the mercurial supervisor sets her sights on someone else for a while! we have a front-of-the-house woman like that. She likes me fine when she needs cookies for a personal family party..then the same day she'll say something kinda mean, just to get a laugh. Ugh to people like that.Oh! belated Happy Birthday :)

Lost, it was good to hear from you!

Monte C., hey enjoy your position at the top :D :devil:

Sabrina, how are you doing? :)

I finally had the appt. to have my dented car looked at; if the ins. co. agrees, I will be getting a whole new bumper :carrot: and have my air bag sensor checked/repaired. to the tune of over $700. And not one penny out of my pocket :p as it was 'the other guys' fault.

I haven't been doing terribly with eating, but I haven't been on the straight and narrow path either, which means I'm not down either. This has happened so often before, I can look okay (in my eyes) at this weight, yet I want to get down in to the 140's!!!

06-10-2014, 11:14 AM
this has been on my mind..have you heard the results? thinking of you!

Yes I did, thanks for asking :) They said it's probably nothing, that there was an abnormality, but they ran a couple of the tests a second time and everything was negative so it was probably just a mild yeast infection or some sort of irritation. I just have to get another one in 6 months.

Man, I need more hobbies or some friends outside of work. I get sooo bored on my days off that I can't wait to go back to work. I'm sitting here counting down the hours until I can start getting ready! Sad that my buddy Alex won't be there for two days though.

Speaking of work though, now that the initial stress of a new job has worn off, I'm eating normally again and I'm not losing like I was those first couple weeks. I'm glad that I'm more comfortable at work, but I could seriously do without the bigger appetite!

06-10-2014, 05:16 PM
I saw a dentist a little bit ago. Got an antibiotic and vicoden. It will have to be pulled later this week.

06-10-2014, 05:56 PM
Nothing worse than being depressed and letting your feelings out only to see that your post was lost.....

I'm so incredibly sad and depressed right now. I'm not seeing any weight loss and no change in the way clothes are fitting. I'm working my butt off in the gym and watching what I eat and I'm getting nothing. Right now I'm so depressed I'm not oging to go to my cycling class because I can never make it through them when I sad and depressed like this. I'd end up quitting halfway through which is just even more depressing, so I'm not going to go. All of this, not seeing results, makes me want to eat, but I know that won't make me feel better. I'll just end up feeling worse. My husband says he loves me just as I am, but I don't love me. I gained all of this weight during a nearly 9 month pregnancy and now I'm just FAT. I don't have a baby to tote around or talk about that can be the reason for why I am the way I am. Nope, I just am. I still have to wear maternity pants because I can't get into a size 16 pants yet and size 18 are so incredibly huge on me I can't wear them comfortably. I'm so mad at myself right now, because it's obviously something I'm doing wrong. Probably still eating too much or the wrong things or whatever. I just don't know what to do anymore. I HATE my job, but every job I've applied to I don't even get an interview. I've prayed for God to find me something, but it's clear I must have to be miserable right now. I hate my body, I hate my job. I just want to be happy, but it seems like it's just not going to happen.

06-10-2014, 06:06 PM
Oh Sabrina :( I am so sorry you are so sad. You experienced all the downs of being pregnant without being given the joy at the end ... so unfair and wrong.

It is always wonderful when our guys tell us they love us just as we are! and they do. But as long as we don't love ourselves, we won't be content.

I don't have anything useful to say, but I am wishing I could offer something helpful. :hug::hug::hug:

lilturtle, sorry about having to lose the tooth, but I hope you get relief with the vicodin.

melarie - Well I guess it is a great thing to look forward to your next day at work, even without your pal :D

06-10-2014, 06:15 PM
Sabrina: I am so sorry that all of your hard work hasn't paid off yet. That is so incredibly frustrating, I know from experience. :( Please try not to put yourself down. The negative self-talk only makes things worse. Expect results to come and keep on working hard with food and exercise..... and you WILL get results in time. I am trusting in this myself, too, so BELIEVE along with me that better days are ahead of us! I am in Boston, on my way to Ireland, and hubby plugged in his computer, so I just have a quick chance to write. I am sending HUGS :hug: to all of you and hoping that things get better for Sabrina and Trish, and that all is well with everyone else. Trish, so sorry about your tooth. Sounds painful. Glad you saw a dentist and got meds to help you feel better. Hang in there everyone! We are in this TOGETHER!!!!! :grouphug:

06-11-2014, 01:03 PM
Sabrina, I'm just passing through here so we don't know each other, but I am very sorry to hear that you are so unhappy. Believe me, I know the feeling of trying so hard with no results. Please keep up the exercise as much as you can. Even if it isn't giving you the weight loss you want, it is doing wonderful things for your body. Increased endurance, strengthening muscles and bones, increased lung capacity, lower cholesterol and blood pressure, lowering resting heart rate, stress reduction....I'm sure there's some other benefits I've missed. It will probably lead to weight loss eventually. Your hormones are probably still all screwed up from the pregnancy. Take a deep breath and relax. Things will change.

06-11-2014, 01:56 PM
Fiona, I think I need to embark on a BERP of my own! My biggest issues are books and clothes. I don't think I've disposed of any clothing in the past 20 years. I could lose 60 lbs, and have things to wear all the way down without doing any shopping. I only get rid of things that are ripped or stained beyond repair.

I also have books everywhere. I read fiction and then pass it on, but I have shelves and boxes of cookbooks, and self help books that sometimes help and sometimes not. I try to donate the excess to the library for used-book sales, but am reluctant to get rid of them. My life would be so much better without all the clutter. I would be very happy if a guest could actually come to visit and stay in the guest room. Right now it would be like sleeping in a warehouse! LOL

06-11-2014, 04:08 PM
Feeling a bit better today having slept and having the vicodin. I hope to get back on track.

06-11-2014, 07:46 PM
I had a bit of a breakdown yesterday... my boyfriend and I have been in a long distance relationship since september 2012 and we were supposed to have our first visit in july for my birthday. Due to passport issues we've had to push that date back a couple weeks, which upset me because I was really looking forward to spending a birthday with him. Well yesterday he came home and told me something else was wrong and we had to push it back by another 3 weeks. For some reason, this really upset me (even though it's actually nice because it gives us each 2 extra paychecks before the visit) and we had a little... conflict over it. Everything is fine now, although I'm getting increasingly more discouraged about how things will work out. Ugh. I hate planning things like this. So stressful, and my friend keeps asking me when the big day is and I feel silly telling him a different date every time.

06-11-2014, 07:49 PM
Hi there everyone!

I'm all moved into my new apartment, this is very exciting and today was a crazily hectic day. I think that the movers that came are a good company but they had mechanical difficulties so they were running very late, fortunately the building where I moved into was very flexible. I think I would use this moving company again, minus one rather flamboyant mover of the group. :dizzy:

I'm exhausted and I was planning to get alone done tomorrow with appointments but it looks like I will be waiting for Comcast, they messed up the appointment window, at least I can sleep in. Yay, I am so relieved that I moved, now I am going to relax for the evening and hopefully have a good night, my first night as a Philadelphian!

Take care and thanks for listening, I will try to respond to some personals tomorrow ;)

Gentle hugs,


06-11-2014, 10:07 PM
I also have books everywhere. I read fiction and then pass it on, but I have shelves and boxes of cookbooks, and self help books that sometimes help and sometimes not. I try to donate the excess to the library for used-book sales, but am reluctant to get rid of them. My life would be so much better without all the clutter. I would be very happy if a guest could actually come to visit and stay in the guest room. Right now it would be like sleeping in a warehouse! LOL

Hi Wannabe, I made a huge decision to 'release' hundreds of books from our shelves almost 2 years ago. It made such a difference. I thought it would be difficult, but it was OK. I've cleaned out both my parent's homes, so I am really aware now of wanting to 'get rid' as opposed to 'get' at this stage in my life.

06-11-2014, 10:10 PM
Amy, congrats at being in your new home! :)

Trish, I'm glad you got to sleep and got some relief with the pain med.

Hi to everyone else :wave:

I took a chance at riding to work today, because the radar for this afternoon showed alot of clouds coming ,but I thought I'd be okay. Wrong :devil: I got rained on for the first 6 miles; then just wet roads for the remaining 15, but my butt was soaked and then I got chilled and then the wind was blowing me around :rofl: "It's not just a commute, it's an adventure!" should be my theme song :D :D

06-12-2014, 04:26 AM
Hi Holly! Thank you for your kind words! I really like it here, it's a change but I like it a lot. Oh no! I'm sorry that you got rained on. :( I was going to Philly from the town where I used to live and I got soaked walking to the train station! I am so glad that I have a new rain jacket.

Have a good night!

Take care ;)


06-12-2014, 07:45 AM
Sabrina: Hang in there. You've had a lot to deal with emotionally with the loss of your baby. You're going to feel that loss very strongly for the next year, as you pass all the milestone anniversaries. That's completely normal. :hug: Try not to let your sorrow push you into bouts of negative self-talk. You're not doing anything wrong with your workout. It's just a really tough time for you right now. Maybe God is asking you to just let go and trust Him right now? Next time you hit the gym, slap on your headphones, crank the music, and tell God, "Whatever happens, God, please let it happen for the best." The hardest lesson I've had to learn, personally, is trust. When I hit a wall, plateau, or a period of utter self-loathing, I try to re-focus my thoughts and remind myself that I just have to trust that this is a journey of learning and I just have to trust God.

IBelieve: Have an absolutely fantastic time in Ireland!

Lilturtle: I'm sorry about the tooth. I hope the pain killer helps and that the ordeal is over quickly.

Amy: Congratulations! Now the move is over and you are getting settled in to your new apartment. As stressful as packing and moving is, what a great chance to do some "nesting" and get a fresh look out of your stuff.

My annual review was tense but went okay yesterday. I have no idea why my supervisor has taken a dislike to me. I work really hard. I'm efficient, organized, neat, and clean about my workspace. I've never failed to complete a project ahead of the deadline. She has to hunt for things to criticise. Maybe that's the problem? Beats me.

After a two-day headache and some really uncomfortable bloating, when the review was over, my body seemed to relax and release everything. I stepped on the scale this morning and discovered that I dropped 2.2 pounds overnight. I'm pretty sure it was the stress causing me to retain water, etc. which caused the bloating. Thank God, the review is done. Thank God, I'm back on track with the scale. Thank God, for another day to try it all again.

Blessings be on all my 3FC friends.

06-12-2014, 01:11 PM
My weightloss seems to have stalled. For the last couple of weeks I was snacking more then I had been. Not every day but definately more then I had been. I have been having some major sleeping problems and I always seem hungier when I don't sleep. I'm not sure when I will see a doc yet but I will bring this issue up.

06-12-2014, 08:53 PM
hi friends,

It seems that many of you are going through rough times. :( I am so sorry about that. Just hang in there ok??? Things always get better, they really do.

I had a great night in math last night. I took my Unit 3 Review last night, got a 91 %. I also took my Unit 3 Test last night and got a 94%. I am so grateful!!!!! Now I am ready to take my Final Exam, which I am going to take next week, a week early.

Amy, you got moved??? that is wonderful!!!!!!

lilturtle, Vicodin is the bomb!!!!! I am sorry about your tooth though and glad that you got some much needed sleep.

IBelieve, have a GREAT time in Ireland!!!!!!!!! yay!!!!!

Sabrina, I am so sorry, sweetie, that you are so very sad. I wish I had some magic pill that could help you. Just know that we care and please post to us.

Much love to all. *hug*

06-12-2014, 10:45 PM
Hi there everyone from Philly!

This is a very exciting time for me, I am a bit exhausted and sore but I'm so happy that the move is behind me even though the movers were a bit odd and almost two hours late, then they took a lunch break. :dizzy: Anyways, I'm getting settled in and I'm loving Philly.

I'm thinking of rejoining WW, but getting on the scale and facing the number is a bit daunting, it's time for me to face the music.

Have a good night.

I'll try to post tomorrow ;)

Take care chickies! Support and encouragement to all!

Amy :)

Fiona W
06-12-2014, 11:41 PM
I slept last night and felt better today, but work on the BERP (Big Entropy Reduction Project—a massive decluttering of my house) went slow. I did some clipping of images from magazines, and also some puzzling over projects I started & abandoned years ago. What was I thinking, way back when, labeling little boxes and putting odd fragments from fashion magazines in them? I surely don't know.

Something's got me down, I'm not sure quite what it is. It's hard to wake up in the morning and do what feels like hours & hours of housework, day after day after day. I'm at a point where I'm just tossing a lot of stuff in the recycle bin. =sigh= Just one more day, and then I'll take two full days off this weekend. I want to make a collage!

Congrats on being in your new place, Amy! And congrats to you, Lisa, on your math scores!

06-13-2014, 06:40 PM
Hi there,

Fi- Thank you for your congrats! :) I love my new place, it's been a bit of an adjustment though for Snickers, he doesn't feel well. I'm taking him to a new veterinarian tomorrow. I love being in Philly, I just have a lot of unpacking to do. How is the BERP going? I have been getting rid of a lot of things with my move. It's liberating!

I got my haircut today, that felt great. I think I will rejoin WW next week.

It's rainy here, but it feels nice to be cozy in my apartment.

Have a pleasant evening everyone...



06-14-2014, 09:35 AM
:flow2: Good morning, everyone. I hope Saturday morning is dawning as a positive day in everyone's lives. We've had rain, rain, rain for the past three days. I'm ready for the dreary weather to clear out.

I heard some skuttlebutt yesterday at work :gossip: that one of the professional staff people may be retiring, leaving her position open. If I'm able to confirm the information, I will put my name in for a transfer/promotion to the position. I have all the qualifications the position requires and inside knowledge of the institution, of course.

I'm not counting any chickens, :chicken::chicken::chicken: but this is the first time a potential opportunity has come up where I would have a chance to move out of my current position to one that pays more. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that the situation comes to pass but I'm not going to hold my breath. I can't help but want it for the higher income.

I did several hard workouts over the past week and was feeling super tired last night, so I took a break from exercise even though last night was not a scheduled "rest" night. I'll hit the routine hard again today and burn some calories on the elliptical. After doing 90 minutes that one time, I've dropped back to 60 minutes each session. 90-minutes was definitely a goal I wanted to accomplish but on my current 1000-calorie a day program, it took a lot more out of me than I expected.

I'm waiting for my new, smaller jeans to arrive in the mail. Once I move below size 20, I hope to be able to buy off-the-rack in most any store in the area. Again, :crossed:

Hope everyone has a beautiful, beautiful day.

06-14-2014, 03:22 PM
Hi everyone,

Thank you all for the encouragement. I have a pretty nasty headache right now, so I don't feel up to personals. I just want to thank you all so much for listening to me and encouraging me. I know this is a difficult time and that losing weight takes times. I know God has a plan for me and I just need to let it unfold.

Some good news is that I have an interview for a social services assistant position on Monday. It's part time. Unsure how many hours or the pay, I'm sure I'll learn all of that on Monday, but I'm excited about it. I got called for the interview only 2 days after it had been posted. I so very want it to work out so I can get out of my current job. It is just so draining and depressing. Children everywhere with parents who are mean and cruel. This job would be working in a nursing home with the elderly and would be a great starting point for my case manager career. If you're religious, please pray that this is the job for me. If you're not religious, positive thoughts for me would be appreciated! :)

Like I said, major headache today. It's my fault, I went to bed with my hair still wet last night. Gives me a headache every time! ugh!

I think I will go to the gym to weight lift soon. Hubby has a friend coming over tonight that we haven't seen in awhile and we're going to get pizza. Excited, haven't ordered pizza in awhile. That used to scare me food wise, but I'm very much in control of what I eat now, which is rewarding all on its own.

Fiona W
06-14-2014, 07:19 PM
Oh, I'm not doing very well. The problem is not in what I'm eating, which stays the same: it's my mood. I'm taking a three-day weekend (Friday to Sunday) of not doing the BERP... because I had to stop for a while... because I'm suffering from depression pain. I'm so miserable, though, it doesn't feel like a break. I'm hoping this is a short-term thing, that it will be over soon.

06-14-2014, 09:42 PM
Sabrina: I hope the interview goes fantastic. I'll be thinking of you.

Fiona: I'm sorry you're not feeling well. I hope the depression lifts and the pain mitigates.

06-14-2014, 11:48 PM
Hello! I would just like to say Hello and give :hug: :hug: :hug: to those who need a hug!

I love my new place and my guinea pig, Snickers is feeling much better. I'm enjoying this new phase of my life.

I had a date tonight, it was a lot of fun! I think we hit it off! :)

have a great evening...

06-15-2014, 10:08 AM
Fione- I'm so sorry about the pain you're going through right now. That is tough. Praying the time off will help. I will keep you in my prayers.:hug:

Worththeeffort- Thank you!!! I really appreciate it!:^::)

seabiscuit- So glad to hear the date went well and you are settling into your new place! :carrot:

I'm doing much better now. I guess I was just in a major slump. All of you really helped me get out of it and I'm so thankful. I ordered the book New Rules of Lifting for Women and it should be coming any day now. It has an eating plan as well which I'm really looking forward to checking out. I feel I have been eating well, but I don't think it is geared towards muscle building at all. I don't know much in that regard, so I'm excited about this. :carrot:

Really getting excited about my interview tomorrow!!!!!:dizzy:

Fiona W
06-15-2014, 11:54 AM
When I finished my morning coffee and realized I was not in depression pain—oh joy!—I immediately decided I should work on the BERP. Bad idea. I worked for an hour and then suddenly hit the wall: I froze up like a catatonic. I was apparently moaning, because Bob came down and rescued me, taking the scissors out of my hand and telling me it was obvious I needed to take the day off.

"But I'm not depressed," I said. "I should work on the BERP."

"You need a break during which you're not depressed," he replied. "It's June! We're not up against the deadline yet."

And so I relaxed, and felt good again, and just sprawled on the couch for over an hour—so happy to be not depressed, and not working on the BERP.

It's a beautiful sunny day. I hope y'all are having a good Sunday!

06-15-2014, 02:03 PM
Hi everyone,

Sabrina, you will get better. I feel it in my bones. Just be patient, take care of yourself, go work out, let things work themselves out. You will be ok. Let yourself shine, just be your beautiful self. Your weight will work itself out. I'm sorry about your headache. :(

Amy, I am so happy about you and your date. yay!!!!!!

Worththeeffort2, I hope with all my heart that you get that open position. That would be fantastic. It would be so good for you!!!! I will say a prayer.

Fi, how are the kittens? I am glad your last post seems more positive and that you are feeling better.

I am going to spend today watching my Nascar race and studying math. I am going to take my Final on Wednesday. Please keep me in your thoughts. :)

Much love to all and positive thought for everyone.

06-15-2014, 06:49 PM
Ohio- You like NASCAR??? So do I!!!

Who is your favorite driver?

06-15-2014, 07:17 PM
Hello all! Hugs to those not doing so great. :(

I haven't been around the last few days because I've been working my *** off and finally got a much needed break with some family last night when my shift ended. Saw a Pink Floyd tribute band with my dad, his girlfriend, her friend, and my brother. It was really awesome, even though I was freezing and only semi-conscious for half of it. Then this morning we went to breakfast with my grandpa and my great aunt and uncle and played cards afterwards! It felt good to do something other than work and talk to the boyfriend. Tomorrow I'm back at work for 4 nights in a row. Father's Day rush is over though, thank goodness!

I'm going to learn how to golf soon, sort of.. My friend from work is going to take me to a driving range and he's gonna teach me how to hit a ball. We've never hung out outside of work, so it should be fun and hopefully will open the doors to us being more than just work-friends. He, and the job in general, have been so great for my depression. I'm so thankful that I met someone my own age there who I'm so comfortable with. I've desperately needed a good friend in my life for so long.

06-16-2014, 10:04 AM
hello! sorry I haven't been around. I worked a couple of evening dining room shifts at work, and would spend the night there instead of going home late then driving right back to work early. My Kindlefire is not letting me get a connection while there, so I've been out of touch.

Fi, real sorry you've had some episodes of pain and hit the wall. Hope you're back on track with the BERP.

Lisa, so nice to hear you being so positive for everyone else! :) glad you had a good math night!

Amy, congrats on the move being over..and cool about the date!

Melarie, it sounds like the co-worker friendship could be a great thing for you, outside of work!

Sabrina, positive thoughts from me to you for the coveted position!!

Worth, also positive thoughts from me to you, for the transfer/promotion!

and Hi to everyone else :)

I haven't worked out in over a week :( I just can't seem to get my butt in gear in the morning. Even worse, this past week I think I've been eating everything I've wanted! I was doing so well for over a month and it was showing. Have got to get my head back in the game!

Positives are, the days of recent rain have made my flowers so pretty, along with the liberal use of Miracle-Gro. I cut the grass yesterday so the lawn looks beautifu. lAlso this week is payweek, I get paid every 2 weeks so it's like a celebration every other Thursday :D

today is my one day off...i WILL workout after I type this, then do laundry, then need to do some Presidential-duty-type stuff, then I really want to get out on my motorcycle but the road construction really puts a damper on it.

06-16-2014, 04:11 PM
I had my tooth pulled Friday and ended up sleeping most of the afternoon. My diet was good over the weekend as I was limited in what I could eat. I'm hanging in there. Thinking of everyone here. We can do this!

Fiona W
06-16-2014, 07:33 PM
Getting back into the BERP today, sort of doing stuff at random, tossing lots of magazines without clipping them...

My breeder sent me a new picture of one kitten (—I don't know which one. She says the two who were slow to wean are now eating eagerly and gaining weight. I'm glad to hear that!

06-16-2014, 10:08 PM
Hi there...

Today has been a very long day, I've been up since about 6am. I went to my old apartment and the cleaning crew came, they were excellent. Then, I showed my apartment to a tenant down the hall because he may move in there, he is very nice. After that, I had my first knitting lesson which was a lot of fun but difficult to learn, although I think I finally got the hang of the English knit stitch closer to the end of the lesson. My teacher is very sweet and I enjoy her company.

On the way home riding the train, I thought about W, my date and I just felt that something was off there. We were similar in many ways yet also very different. I called him when I got home and he said that he has some psych issues, his psychiatrist told him that he's not ready for the relationship. I felt sad but relieved in a way too. Then he said something that really took me by surprise, about hospital staff charging him with assault, I was floored. I told him I had to go and I felt very unsettled getting off the phone. I texted him that I couldn't make our next outing together and I blocked his number. It's sad but we weren't meant to be.

Sigh, I am exhausted, I'm going to bed.

Thanks for listening.

Good night.


06-17-2014, 07:20 AM
Lilturtle: Hope your mouth is healing quickly after having the tooth pulled. Hopefully by now, you are without any pain.

Fiona: It sounds like your cleanup project is picking up steam if you're getting to the point you can toss magazines without going through them individually to clip. That must feel really good.

Amy: I'm sorry that things didn't work out with the gentleman you met but how fortunate for you that you followed your instinct and got all the information you needed to make a decision. Even though it makes you sad, I'm going to say good on you for making a quick decision to avoid a potentially messy situation.

Holly: It sounds like you are having a really busy summer. Hope you're able to get back into the swing of things with your exercise.

Ohio: Thanks for the good wishes.

I've been struggling emotionally since Sunday. I visited my parents on Father's Day and it was a bit stressful. As you know, my mother can be difficult. After thoroughly explaining that I'm buying only what I minimally need for clothes as I drop sizes, in order to save money, she got all over me about the fact that my pants were all baggy and looked terrible. Hello. It's the weekend. I'm not wearing my best fitting work clothes. It didn't matter.

Driving home, I was nearly hit head-on by a black jeep that was out of control and in my lane of the road. I swerved toward the ditch and they swerved away from me at the last second. I managed to pull it out of the ditch without rolling my vehicle and continued on my way home.

I was shaken and, of course, despite trying very hard to head it off, the episode has triggered even more post-traumatic stress symptoms. I'd been experiencing symptoms on Saturday but thought I had it under control. Now, my head is all over the map in terms of thoughts and emotions. I'm trying hard to use all the cognitive behavioral therapy lessons I've learned but I'm feeling myself slide down. I'm hoping if I get to the gym this afternoon, a hard workout will release some brain chemicals that will turn things around for me.

This is day 230 without a binge.

06-17-2014, 10:36 AM
Melarie- Glad to hear the rush is over and that you're going on an outing with a work friend. I think it's important to develop friends that are both co-workers and friends outside of work.

Vermont- I hope you're able to get that workout in! I know how it is when you get in a slump and can't seem to get on track. Hope you get some riding time in, but I know that construction is frustrating!

lil turtle- I hope your mouth is doing much better. Getting teeth pulled is no fun at all. When I was in middleschool I had to have several teeth pulled in order to have braces put on.

Fiona- Such a cute kitty cat!!! I bet seeing the kitty is extra motivation for you and the BERP.

seabiscuit- Sorry to hear about how the person you were dating turned out. That's a bit scary. I think it is a blessing that he was open with you about it. I once had a guy whom I was head over heals for. He pretty much strung me along and made me think he liked me. One weekend he didn't talk to me at all. It wasn't until the next week he told me that he was in jail, but he wouldn't tell me why. I did some snooping and found that he had been arrested for attempted rape. I was hurt and scared. I ended up cutting off ties with him. Those situations are scary when they happen, glad you are avoiding it.

worththeeffort-Sorry to hear about your weekend. It's frustrating when mom's can't just be the loving supporter they were created to be. Just remember you are doing what works for you, don't worry about how other people see it. I think getting in a good workout today will do wonders for you. Just the other day I was feeling a bit down, but my workout really pulled me through it. I have found weirdly that if I'm depressed, weight lifting really helps me get out of that slump. Cycling on the other hand is a bad idea if I'm depressed. I just don't end up having the energy to get through the class. The last time I went to a class sad, I only stayed for half of it. It was ever more depressing knowing I wasn't going to finish the class. So I've just started skipping it if I'm really feeling bad, because going will just make me feel worse. I hope you have a workout that really helps you when you're feeling down.

As for me, I went to my interview yesterday. The facility is beautiful and the woman that interviewed me was very nice. It was one of those meet and greets to get to know you a bit more. Which is nice, but also worrisome. Basically, if I don't get a second interview it will be because they don't like me. I'm praying I get into the next round. It is a social services assistant position and I really feel like I can make a difference in the position. Also, it would be a great place for me to begin my social work career. I'm praying for God's will to be done, no matter the outcome, but really want this to work out. I'm scared of how I will react if I don't get a call back. It's just so depressing being in a job that depresses me and not getting many bites on the job hunt. :/

Hope everyone is doing well. I'm really trying to wrap my head around nutrition. Yesterday I definitely ate too much. I just don't know much about how I should be eating to lose weight. Anyone have any ideas? I'm trying to watch portions, eat when I'm hungry, drink lots of water. I guess I just don't know if I'm eating too much or too little.

06-17-2014, 05:40 PM
I got dry socket which is very painful. I went back to the dentist today and they packed it with something that made it feel better instantly. No sleep again last night.

06-17-2014, 08:35 PM
I'm so sorry to hear that. Was it a wisdom tooth that was pulled or just a regular tooth?

Fiona W
06-18-2014, 12:22 AM
That's pretty funny, Worthy, that you think pitching magazines without clipping them is such a big step forward. It was pretty f***—umm, let me rephrase that. I'll say it the way I said it to a friend on the phone: "That was Evil Fiona. She did that to me the day we put out the recycle bins, so I didn't get to un-do that particular act of self-destruction." Yes, friends, the BERP is back to normal again, so I spent the day clipping magazines. And oh boy, I am so sick of clipping. We're talkin' massively, colossally sick of clipping.

But that's the whole thing with this project. I did not believe I was capable of doing this at all, but it is in fact happening, one magazine page at a time. All during the first 5-6 weeks I thought I was going to just get overwhelmed one day and quit. The fact that I haven't stopped doing the BERP is way more amazing to me than losing weight. Not because losing weight isn't hard—no, not at all—it's just that I have lost more than 100 pounds before, and I have lost all the way down to goal before, multiple times in my adult life. I haven't maintained my weight at goal for very long before, but I'll climb that hill when I get to it. I do think my approach is different this time round: This is the first time I've gone six months binge-free and sugar-free, that's for sure.

So anyway, I have a track record when it comes to losing weight. I have NO track record when it comes to tidying up my environment. Bob does the housework in our family. He even does my laundry for me. And he's doing every bit of the actual cleaning involved: he's been following me around with a vacuum cleaner and dust rag, as I move from one section of the BERP to another.

So this is totally amazing to me, that it's happening at all—let alone on a time table to be done before the kittens arrive!

But all is not completely peachy: I have, temporarily I assume, lost the ability to make a collage. I tried to make one over the weekend, and I couldn't do it. I couldn't do the picture-making that happens in my head, with my eyes closed, for at least a day or two before the picture-making that happens with paper and glue. My brain is too fried by clipping! =big sigh=

I know it will come back. I just need to get a chance to rest my inner eyeballs.

Anyway, maybe that was TMI, but I just don't want anyone thinking it was a good thing that I recklessly tossed a lot of the raw material for my work. That was impulsive and wrong-headed, and it won't happen again. The BERP moves onward—constructively, not destructively.

06-18-2014, 01:53 PM
It was a regular molar.

Not much to report. I was supposed to weigh in today but didn't. I'm nervous since I didn't lose any last time.

06-18-2014, 08:16 PM
Worth, I read of your PTS incident in the other that incident with the Jeep must have been terrifying. Congrats on not losing it!!!

Sabrina, I hope so much you get that phone call for a second talk!

Fiona, WTG on your focus on the BERP!

Amy, sorry the relationship will not go further, but maybe for the best . Hope you're enjoying the new digs!

lilturtle, sorry about no sleep again! no fun.

and Hi to everyone else, hope Kathleen is having fun in Ireland!

I love summer with the beautiful green, and my flowers, and my motorcycle, and my summer job. I have been avoiding the construction due to truly hazardous road conditions for a motorcycle and i go a total of 22 miles out of my way to avoid it. Eh, not that bad since I love riding, even on dirt roads.

06-18-2014, 08:18 PM
Hi there...

I had a good day! I've moved on from my date, thank you for all of the support. I'm not sure if I am going to pounce back into the dating arena just yet, at least perhaps not the online one.

Tonight, I went to a WW meeting and I am thrilled that I weigh 21 lbs less than I did at my last WW meeting, yay! I truly connected with the leader which is a big thing for me. I bought the calculator for counting points so I am going to try that out. I think I will succeed this time! :D

I'm headed to see family this weekend and then I leave again next weekend to head to Nantucket to see family and friends. Yay!

Have a great night!!!



06-19-2014, 01:30 PM
I really need to get on that scale but I'm scared. It's like my future happiness rides soley on me losing weight. I'm scared I can't lose it. Not enough anyways. I like to eat and I have a lot of trouble controlling it. Some days I can, some days I can't. I try and make up for it when I can by eating very little. I'm frustrated and scared. I never follow through on long term goals. If something takes longer then a day or a week, I give up. So much rides on this. I am disgusted with myself. How hard is it to eat and exercise like a normal person?

06-19-2014, 03:34 PM
lilturtle: I'm sorry to learn you had a painful dry socket but glad the dentist was able to help stop the pain. I hear you on being frustrated about not being able to eat "like a normal person." I think a lot of us have been in that place. I think each of us comes to the place we're ready to make a serious change in our own time, too.

I know I was scared to give up sugar and carbs for a very, very long time. They were my only 'friends,' I believed. Sugar was my drug of choice. Bingeing caused me to 'numb out' so that, for the period of time I was bingeing, I didn't feel or think anything. My brain was just blank. Of course, as soon as the binge was over, shame, regret, self-hatred all came flooding back.

I was emotionally scared when I started my medically-supervised weight loss program in November of last year, but I'd also reached the place I was ready to make a permanent change. Do I still struggle with wanting sugar? You bet! The difference now is that I am strong enough to weather emotional storms and resist the urge to 'numb out' using sugar. I hope things get better for you.

Amy: Congrats for the successful weigh-in at WW.

I have a couple days off from work and we have beautiful weather! I'm shocked that the two things coincided! I made a trip into town this morning with the intention of going shopping. I hate shopping but I thought that it would be some "me" time. After 45-minutes and two stores, I was ready to head home.

Before leaving the house, I decided I would take a long walk in one of our large, local cemeteries as my exercise for the day, since I won't be going to the gym. I started for home but turned the car around and went to the cemetery and walked up and down the rolling--some really steep--paths for an hour. My Fitbit recorded that I burned 337 calories, so I'm happy with that.

I just asked my husband to pull his bike out of the pole barn and put air in the tires so I can try riding it. I haven't ridden a bike in more than 20 years. This is my reward to myself for sticking to my fitness program for the past several weeks. I use to love riding a bike but haven't done it because I was too fat and would have looked utterly ridiculous, I believed. Now I've almost reached Onederland, I'm going to give myself another chance to ride.

06-19-2014, 05:28 PM
I rode a bike! I rode a bike! I fixed the height of the seat all by myself and rode my husband's bicycle about two miles. My steering was quite shaky. I had completely forgotten how much upper body strength it takes to steer a bicycle. I'm going to have to find a safe, empty parking lot somewhere to practice.

AND, the other new pants arrived today. The size 20 is now too large but the size 18 fits.

I'm so excited. :D

Fiona W
06-19-2014, 07:13 PM
Couple of rough days there: Tuesday & Wednesday I had lots of depression pain. I thought today was going to be more of the same: that's how it started. But after taking two Geodon, this morning's pain blew completely away. (Geodon doesn't often work that well.) I was able to get some critical pieces of mail en route, plus run a couple of tedious errands, without much stress.

I'm certainly hoping that's the end of my depression problems for a while, because I have a busy weekend ahead, with my niece Margaret coming over for dinner tomorrow night, and my great-niece Grace coming over on Saturday to do more sorting of clippings.

The BERP has been semi-stalled for a few days, but I have managed to clip some more magazines, including a very demanding one that took two & a half hours to plow through. I'm hoping I'll wake up tomorrow in fine fettle and can kick things back into high gear.

Worthy— Congratulations on riding a bike! And on being down to size 18! Wow, you must be on top o' the world.

Trish— Sorry to hear you're in the weight-loss doldrums. But you've achieved a whole lot already: don't forget that fact! It's just a matter of getting your focus back. I call it doing a re-set, like sometimes you do with a piece of electronic equipment to make it function again. Give yourself a date—could be tomorrow, could be Monday, whenever—when you plan to do a serious re-set on your weight-loss effort. Get back on plan in your eating, do some walking if you can, and wait to weigh yourself until at least a week after your re-set. How does that sound?

06-19-2014, 07:32 PM
I'm popping over to say hi! Thank you for the kind words, which reminds me to go track my points. It was rainy here today yet I still managed to get a lot done.

I'm excited for my trip to NYC this weekend!

There's plenty more unpacking to do!

Take care!


06-20-2014, 02:32 AM
Hi. I read lots of posts here. Thanks for the good reading. I am new here at 3FC. SO relieved, excited and happy to have found you all. I have lived a yoyo life. Sometimes being around 200 lbs and other times being much lower. Always depressed with a large serving of anxieties.

Right now I am sort of maintaining weight. BUT I have had a slip that seems to be lasting too long. My digestive system is wrecked due to the sort of dieting i used to do along with the depression and anxiety. I always know that gaining weight is just a slip away. If I am not vigilant, then its a one way ticket to a larger wardrobe. I have 5 sizes in my closet. Although the larger sizes are folded up and away from the front.

Like VermontMom, I live in VT. Or as I call it, the land of the often frozen tundra. I still am trying to recover from last winter, lol.

I loved reading the words of worththeeffort who rode a bike. Thats so awesome. Actually i was just glad to read everyones posts. I am grateful to have found this community. Thanks :)

06-20-2014, 10:53 AM
flower123: :welcome: to our group! So happy you decided to post after reading along. Sorry about your depression and anxieties, but at least we can all relate in this group! Please feel free to continue to post. I hope you will find some support and encouragement here! :hug:

06-20-2014, 11:13 AM
Hello Everyone! I had a bit of spotty wifi and internet while in Ireland, so I have kept in touch a little, but need to get back in the groove! We had an absolutely wonderful time on our vacation, but today it is back to reality! I am afraid that I went completely off my "diet mode" most of my vacation, so I am going to try hard to get back on board with healthy eating and exercise as quickly as possible, too. I need to move along right now, but I will check in tonight and try to write some personals. Hang in there, everyone, and know that I think of you often and keep you all in my prayers! :hug: WE CAN DO THIS!!! :grouphug:

06-20-2014, 03:46 PM
Hi again!

Welcome Flower123 and welcome back believe!

I'm tired, I'll post later maybe.

Have a good day!


06-20-2014, 04:22 PM
:welcome2: Welcome to the group, flower123. Glad you enjoyed my post.

I wore myself out this morning. I rode bike for about 40 minutes, then did a 40 minute walking interval workout. I'm ready for a nap!

Fiona W
06-21-2014, 02:48 AM
My niece Margaret was a no-show for our Friday plans. =pout= I think what probably happened is she got home after work, thought she'd take a quick nap, and was out for the count. I called her cell, which is always near her, three times—no reply. But she's slept through its ringing before. The evening was a bummer for me: expecting to see someone, drink wine with them, get a little loose...and then it didn't happen.

As for my great-niece Grace coming over on Saturday to sort clippings, have dinner, and then play with our art journals, she had to cancel: a critical Girl Scout meeting took precedence. =pout again= Her mother is distinctly cool to me on the phone, too, so it's a bummer when we converse about Grace's schedule: it's like pulling teeth to get information out of her. I'm probably being paranoid, but I feel like I'm this weirdo art person whose social cues and social mores are way distant from hers. Oh well, it's Grace I want to be friends with, not her mother. I've known her mother since she was like 3 years old, and I never have understood what makes her tick. I've been attracted to Grace since even when she was a bratty two-year-old. Funny how chemistry between people can work that way.

Sorry to be so downbeat. My monthly weigh-in is Sunday, and I don't give a flying f*** what the scale says. I'm just focused on the BERP. I intensely, desperately, want for the BERP to be over... but it's not. Weeks to go yet! Arrrggh.... I hope all this effort feels worth it, once the changes are really palpable, and the kittens have arrived and are exploring their new territory. Otherwise, it'll just be a bad memory, something to be well shut of, something I'll never do again—no way, no how. I hope our life never gets that cluttered again, but if it does devolve into that, maybe Bob is just going to have to live with it.

Every collage artist I know is a hopeless magpie, and their houses are full of stacks and stacks of paper and books, and their studios are messy middens like you wouldn't believe. Why am I working so hard to buck the trend and get all my stuff neatly squared away? One simple answer: Bob. He wants an uncluttered house, and I love him deeply, I'm going to try my darndest to give him what he wants.

06-21-2014, 09:49 PM
Hey everyone,

I haven't received a call back yet for another interview... Unsure if that's a bad sign, because I can't remember if she said I'd get a call this week or next. Trying to stay positive and not get bummed out.

I finally finished my government class with an A. :) Started my economics class which is actually interesting.

Went to Joes Crab Shack today and had a lobster and crab steam pot. It was so yummy! Hubby and I got up early today and cleaned the house, went to lunch, then took a long nap before going to mass. Came home and had some wine, ate dinner, and will having another glass here shortly. Ah, the relaxing weekend. :)

06-21-2014, 09:58 PM
Hey everyone,

I haven't received a call back yet for another interview... Unsure if that's a bad sign, because I can't remember if she said I'd get a call this week or next. Trying to stay positive and not get bummed out.

I finally finished my government class with an A. :) Started my economics class which is actually interesting.

Went to Joes Crab Shack today and had a lobster and crab steam pot. It was so yummy! Hubby and I got up early today and cleaned the house, went to lunch, then took a long nap before going to mass. Came home and had some wine, ate dinner, and will having another glass here shortly. Ah, the relaxing weekend. :)

06-22-2014, 02:24 AM
Thanks IBelieveInMe2, seabisquit and worththeeffort2 for the warm welcome. Reading them actually makes me feel welcome. So I DO appreciate it.

I want to shout from the rooftops to those folks who struggle with weight issues. telling them about this place. But of course I cannot tell anyone unless they bring up their weight loss struggle in the moment.

Reading what people post here ispires me. It helps me to be more mindful of eating. And the support is great. I believe that i can settle back into a more secure maintenence routine again. But I am not there after the series of slip ups. Right now its battling that food craving gremlin that woke up when I slipped so many times. Trying to get it back to sleep again :)

Reading peoples words helps. I have been looking for this community (one like it) for a long time. Dont know why i never found it. Until now. Forgive me if I am repeating mysef. I am just so grateful.

Today wasnt half bad with the eating. While I ate 4 oz of mariaded mozerella balls (excess oil blotted off), it was not high carbs. Except for the cocoa powder which is my downfall. I have to be careful of both carbs and calories. But the cheese slip could have been worse.

Tomorrow is another day. I hope it will not be too hard. My goal now is to get that gremlin back into a sleep state. I think this depression and weight issues area will be a home base for me. I probably will feel most at home here. Thanks again !

06-22-2014, 06:37 AM
a very quick pop in to :welcome: flower! (yes I am also still recovering from that LONG winter! :D ) and welcome back to Kathleen :hug:

06-22-2014, 11:10 AM
:bike: I'm feeling so happy about my mini-vacation this past week. Impulsively, I asked my husband to clean off his mountain bike and put air in the tires on Thursday. Thursday, Friday, and Saturday, I went for bike rides. Saturday was my longest ride, so far. Even wearing bike shorts (which I bought for a spinning class), I am definitely saddle sore today. :o

Since the bike shorts are in the laundry--I didn't do a load of wash after getting home again yesterday--and I'm sore, today's workout will be accomplished standing up. I haven't decided yet, if it will be the elliptical or walk/jog intervals but I suspect the latter, since it is a beautiful sunny day. I would burn more calories on the elliptical but I want to be outside enjoying the sunshine and fresh air while we have summer. :cool: All too soon, these beautiful days will be ice-bound memories! ;)

Getting outside to exercise everyday for the past three days has done wonders for my mood. I feel so totally normal. No sign of my depression anywhere. I love it! :cloud9:

06-22-2014, 02:03 PM
Back from Ireland and up at the lake for the weekend. I feel super spoiled, but I am loving it all!!! :D The sunshine is doing wonders for my mood, too. :sunny: I absolutely LOVE it! Makes me want to get outside and walk, walk, walk! In fact, we just came back from a walk with the pups here at the lake. Food has been better than in Ireland, but I find myself snacking here and there..... on Doritos, my downfall at the lake. :o I need to improve my snack choices, even here. Looking forward to getting back into our pool and doing laps during this week, amidst appointments and housework. I just need to FORCE myself to STOP and make time for exercise. Otherwise, the days fly by and I don't get it done.

Amy: Happy to hear that you survived the move! I hope you are enjoying your new home!

Fi: Sorry that your plans with both Margaret and Grace fell through. That is a bummer! Sounds like you are plowing forward with the BERP. I am in awe of your determination and the progress you are making!!! I need to do the same at my house. Hubby is so sick and tired of the clutter everywhere. I made a lot of progress with my organizer in my 2nd floor office, which was piled high with STUFF, but now the first floor has become all cluttered again. I won't be working with the organizer again until summer is over and kids are back in school, but I hope to get some things cleared on my own. I am happy that you are taking breaks when necessary, but you continue to move forward and make progress! WAY TO GO!!! :D

Sabrina: I hope you get the call back for another interview. I know that you are unhappy at your current job, and I hope something right for you will come along soon. Could you call and just say you weren't sure if they were going to call this week or next? The waiting is agonizing, I'm sure. CONGRATS on your A in your government class! That is awesome!!! :D

Holly: Thanks for the welcome back! How have you been?!?

flower123: So happy that you posted again and really like the group! There is so much support here, which helps in the weight loss journey. I sure hear you regarding the food craving gremlin. I think about food and crave it WAY to often. I need to tame my gremlin and put it to sleep as well. We can do it..... together!!! :hug:

Worthy: I am so happy that you enjoyed your mini vacation!!! HOORAY for YOU with all of the bike rides and exercise you are getting in! You inspire me to do better with my own exercise. :)

Waving HELLO to everyone else! :wave:

06-22-2014, 10:37 PM
Hi there!

I'm writing from NYC, I'm heading back to Philly tomorrow. I've had a great weekend with family. I'll be glad to get home! I have had a lot of fun though and I head to Nantucket with family next week.

I am glad that I rejoined WW but the online program with meetings works best for me so I'm hoping to do that. I think I overate a bit this weekend but it wasn't terrible.

Take care. Have a good night.


06-23-2014, 04:44 AM
I find myself snacking here and there..... on Doritos, my downfall at the lake.

flower123 So happy that you posted again and really like the group! There is so much support here, which helps in the weight loss journey. I sure hear you regarding the food craving gremlin. I think about food and crave it WAY to often. I need to tame my gremlin and put it to sleep as well. We can do it..... together!!! :hug:
First, have you tried popchips? They are so much lower in calories. No, they do not have all that cheesy goodness. But they crunch.
Second, the wild food craving gremlins. Yes. Perhaps we all could create a large orange poppy field like in the wizard of Oz. Where they fell asleep. And then.... well it could be a food gremlin sleeping area. Sugar and peanutbutter are amongst the countless foods that wake my gremlin up. Perhaps orange poppies will get it back to sleep. I am not talking about ingesting opiate poppies of course. But rather sending the gremlin over to the field. Hey, at this point I would try anything. :yawn:

06-23-2014, 07:40 AM
:( I'm headed back to work today. My mini-vacation is over. Boo. :p I have another mini-vacation the first week of July, so I guess I'll survive until then.

Received a link to a blog post from MyFitnessPal that describes how to get the most out of a walking workout ( I thought it might be of interest to some folks here. I do a form of the interval walk, described in number 2.

06-23-2014, 12:07 PM
Hi Everyone!

Hope everyone is doing ok, and staying cool! :)

I have recently come to realization that I'm so overweight that is is really having a negative inpact on my life. I just hadn't realized just how out of shape I was. I mean I guess I knew theoretically, but I'm so much fitter than other people around me (I know, I know, don't compare yourself to others) that it seemed ok. But then I got on the elliptical after months of inactivity...did 20 minutes at lowest resistance and never even got to 3mph. I was exhausted and felt terrible for quite some time after. That is just ridiculous. Less than year ago I could do a really tough hour long interval workout on the elliptical followed by 40 mintues of yoga with no problem. Anyway, time for drastic measures. So the elliptical workout I can do now isn't much, but at least I'm doing something every day. And I'm restarting the Atkins diet. I did this before when I lost the 70lbs, and it worked really well for me, as I'm really carb sensitive, and I love meat and cheese. I weighed today (it was bad :() and I'm not going to weigh again until the first two weeks of induction are finished. I seem to have gotten my depression and anxiety under control, so it is time to start working getting my body in shape too. :)

Fiona W
06-23-2014, 05:08 PM
Well, my weigh-in on the 22nd was boring: 272 again. Same as last month. But I don't mind boring. Looking at my graph on the fridge, I see that I'm still on track, following a steady downward line in my weight. Last month's 10-pound loss was unusual. This month's 0-pound loss is unusual. But when you look at them on the graph, they balance each other—if that makes sense. That's why I like weighing just once a month, and also having a graph.

Today I had to return to doing the BERP, which was hard. The only way I can make myself do it is that after I have my breakfast (2-3 cups of coffee w/ cream), I lie down on the green futon and do that slow-breathing exercise. Sometimes I count the breaths, sometimes not, but I do it for about 10 minutes, which is approximately 40-50 breaths. While I make those slooooooow inhales and sloooooooow exhales I picture myself doing whatever is the next step in the BERP—what I plan to start the day's work with. After those 10 minutes, I'm calm, focused, and magically in action—doing exactly what I visualized.

Tomorrow will be easier because it will be the second day of BERP-ing this week. No days off until Saturday, though. I'm working on a tough area: the dining room, which used to be my studio until I filled it up with crap such that I couldn't work in there anymore. Now my collage studio is upstairs in what used to be my writing office, so the dining room needs to become very tidy so either Bob or I can use it as an auxiliary work area. (We have no need for a formal dining room.) At least I got all the unwanted books out of it already, so I have a bunch of empty book boxes where I can stow stuff like my stationery collection. But first I have to get all the loose rubber stamps off the table and find accessible places for them to live—easier said than done!

I'm sorry I'm not writing personal comments. I'm just too overwhelmed by the BERP these days. =sigh= I think I'm going to have to do some more slow breathing, because right now I have no desire to wrestle with those rubber stamps.

Fiona W
06-23-2014, 05:12 PM
Well, my weigh-in on the 22nd was boring: 272 again. Same as last month. But I don't mind boring. Looking at my graph on the fridge, I see that I'm still on track, following a steady downward line in my weight. Last month's 10-pound loss was unusual. This month's 0-pound loss is unusual. But when you look at them on the graph, they balance each other—if that makes sense. That's why I like weighing just once a month, and also having a graph.

Today I had to return to doing the BERP, which was hard. The only way I can make myself do it is that after I have my breakfast (2-3 cups of coffee w/ cream), I lie down on the green futon and do that slow-breathing exercise. Sometimes I count the breaths, sometimes not, but I do it for about 10 minutes, which is approximately 40-50 breaths. While I make those slooooooow inhales and sloooooooow exhales I picture myself doing whatever is the next step in the BERP—what I plan to start the day's work with. After those 10 minutes, I'm calm, focused, and magically in action—doing exactly what I visualized.

Tomorrow will be easier because it will be the second day of BERP-ing this week. No days off until Saturday, though. I'm working on a tough area: the dining room, which used to be my studio until I filled it up with crap such that I couldn't work in there anymore. Now my collage studio is upstairs in what used to be my writing office, so the dining room needs to become very tidy so either Bob or I can use it as an auxiliary work area. (We have no need for a formal dining room.) At least I got all the unwanted books out of it already, so I have a bunch of empty book boxes where I can stow stuff like my stationery collection. But first I have to get all the loose rubber stamps off the table and find accessible places for them to live—easier said than done!

I'm sorry I'm not writing personal comments. I'm just too overwhelmed by the BERP these days. =sigh= I think I'm going to have to do some more slow breathing, because right now I have no desire to wrestle with those rubber stamps.

Fiona W
06-24-2014, 01:35 AM
Oh gosh, I'm worried. The reason why I haven't gotten new photos of the kittens is that they're sick. They have "a respiratory infection," Julie tells me. I hope it's just a cold and not something worse. =furrowed brow=

06-24-2014, 07:50 AM
Although only four or five people at work have even mentioned that they've noticed my weight loss, I'm starting to experience some negativity from some of the people who were so critical of my weight before I started my current program.

I'm the 'fat girl'--a common target for the 'mean girls.' Now, I'm nearing the same weight as the overweight women who were most vocal in their criticism of me and I'm starting to see resentment directed toward me. What is wrong with people that they can't just be happy for someone's success? For heavens sake, I am not one of 'those people who think their so great.' I'm just slogging along, trying to lose weight because society kept telling me I was a drain on the national health care pocketbook. (I wasn't but that's the message we all get with the obesity epidemic rhetoric, isn't it?)

I refuse to allow the negative judgement to impact me emotionally but I find it so sad that people feel the need to be hypercritical and lash out just because they aren't happy in their own lives. Putting people down doesn't lift you up. It's just pathetic. Sadly, it's just going to get worse as I continue to lose weight. Can't wait until the day I walk into the office wearing size 16 jeans. :D

06-24-2014, 11:24 AM
Worththeeffort- I'm sorry you have to deal with negativity at work in regards to your weight loss. It seems so often our society is unable to be happy for people's successes unless it impacts them in some way or another. Which is sad, BUT that's what we are all here for! Providing eachother with the much needed praise and support that we don't get anywhere else!!! You will rock those size 16 jeans btw!!!!!!!!!

So no call from the recent job I interviewed for... I'm not going to get bummed though because that always negatively affects my workouts. Nope, I shall be positive. I found a few jobs I can apply to when I get home tonight, so that's always exciting. Also, the job at the Catholic Center I applied to ages ago-- the job posting ends on June 30th. So really hoping and praying I hear something in regards to that. I would be over the moon to work for the Church!!

I'm doing really well food wise. Kinda doing a low carb thing, but nothing as strict as Atkins, though that may be something I try in the future. Just want to see if I start getting results from what I'm doing right now. I'm eatin many more veggies in place of breads, grains, starches, etc which is a huge improvement for me since I'm a bread addict!!! haha! I've always joked that when I'm old and gray, I'll be a plump old woman because I'll just bake bread all day and eat it!

I did a really great weight workout yesterday at the gym. I've incorporated deadlifts into my routine which really get my heart pumping. I really wish I had a friend or new someone at my gym to help me with spotting. I'd like to try heavier weights on the bench or more reps of certain weights, but I'd like to not decapitate myself in the process. I feel awkward asking someone else in there because I just feel like I won't be taken seriously. Everyone I see is lifting super heavy weights. I've just got measly light weights. Also I'm like the only person in their that is heavier and lifting. I know it's a process and not everyone has always looked the way they do now, but it's just difficult. Maybe one day I'll ask for some help.

So my job took away the water coolers we had due to budget issues. This was a bummer because I drank a lot of water this way. So I bought a gallon water jug yesterday, filled it up at home and brought it to work. It's only 10am and I've already drank about 3/4 of it. This is making me drink more water than I did with the water cooler so I think it will be beneficial.

Hope everyone is having a good start to the week!

06-24-2014, 11:34 AM
Hi everyone,

I gained weight. :( Not good. I just have so much going on here, so much stress. I have been eating more. Despite this, my moods are still pretty good. I have so much on my plate, much of it is financial.

I lost my only client to a broken leg. It will most likely be a while until I have her again. I am just guessing though. She broke it last Saturday. I feel so bad for her.

It has been very humid here the past few days. I have had the AC on.

Worththeeffort2, Please don't let the mean people at work affect your wonderful weight loss. You are doing great.

Fi, I am so sorry your kittens are sick. *hug*

and to everyone else, you all are in my thoughts and prayers.

Fiona W
06-24-2014, 02:21 PM
Worthy— My response to your tale is to wish that you had embraced being "the fat girl," back when you were in that role, and fully accepted yourself as a person who happened to occupy more space than (some) other people. Tall people also occupy more space. We each occupy the amount of space we occupy, and it is neither advisable, nor the aim of health-focused weight loss, to strive to occupy the least possible amount of space. At any rate, it never too late for you to accept yourself, embrace yourself, exactly as you are at any given moment. Deep self-acceptance—self-love, in other words—is the cornerstone of all long-lasting change. I suspect you already know that: I'm just writing down my thoughts. Meanwhile, what other people think, and what society says, are both irrelevant to your personal aspirations. In the words of my idol, Patti Smith, be "outside of society." At least that's how I play the game.

06-24-2014, 02:59 PM
Ohio- What type of work do you do? You mentioned you lost your only client.

06-24-2014, 04:44 PM
Fleur, I am a Home Health Aide.

Fiona W
06-25-2014, 01:59 AM
I'm posting because I can't get to sleep. I had a rough day in BERP-land: I discovered yet another banker's box in which I dumped a bunch of random papers some time around 2008. I thought I'd finished with all the boxes like that, but this one was lying in wait for me, deep in the dining room mess. It was hard to go through because it contained evidence of my initial fumbling attempts to save material for use in collage—a bunch of envelopes, for example, in which I stashed some stuff I cut out of catalogs. I don't know what I was thinking back then: I really didn't have a clue as to what was worth clipping. I found it mortifying to look at those pathetic scraps of paper I saved.

I've always been this way, where I look down on the person I was in the recent past. That's why it's so hard for me to maintain my stuff in good order: I hate to go through my papers and weed out what I don't want anymore. After several hours of that today, my self-respect was completely gone. And still is. Gack.

06-25-2014, 02:38 PM
I am trying, with some success, to get my head back above water after my trip to Ireland. It is amazing how routines can fall by the wayside so quickly, especially if they are routines that tend to have procrastination and avoidance attached to them in the first place. So I am easing back into major laundry, working out on a consistent basis, eating healthy and less at each meal, avoiding unhealhty snacking (especially at night), and many mundane appointments that interfere with all of this. I don't mean to whine about this, but it is overwhelming me and sort of depressing me. I need to focus on taking ONE thing at a time, ONE moment at a time, and getting it accomplished. I feel the weight of it all at once and want to get it done and off my mind all at once, which of course, is impossible. So please send me some ONE MOMENT AT A TIME :dust: to help me get back on track..... or on track for the first time in my life, whichever comes first! :^: I am just so thankful that I don't ALSO have a job outside of the home, because it would send me overboard right now! I haven't even had a chance to enjoy our swimming pool (and do laps for exercise) because we have stayed so busy since being back from Ireland. Okay, I am taking a deep breath and starting over. I can do this..... one thing at a time! Now for some quick personals, so I can get something accomplished around my house.

Worthy: That really angers me that you are experiencing negativity at work because you are doing something that is improving your health and well-being. People like that drive me crazy!!! It sounds to me like JEALOUSY raring its ugly head! Do your best to IGNORE them and continue to MOVE FORWARD with your plan. You are doing the right thing! :hug:

Amy: Glad to hear that you had a good weekend with your family in NYC! Hope your trip to Nantucket is wonderful!!! I went there with my family years ago. It is so nice! :)

flower123: I have heard of Popchips, but have never tried them. I will do that on your recommendation. Thank you for the tip! I like your image of a large orange poppy field to send our food craving gremlins to to put them back to sleep! :lol: I would try about anything at this point, too!!! It really is frustrating! :( BUT....... WE CAN DO THIS!!! I just KNOW we can!!! :D

MonteCristo: Best of luck to you as you restart the Atkins Diet! I would LOVE to do low carb, but I just haven't been able to consistently resist the carbs long enough to lose or maintain any significant weight. If it works for you, though, I say GO FOR IT!!! That is depressing when you reach that moment of realization that your weight is negatively impacting your life. I am there now, too (have been for awhile), and it's no fun! :( Let's use that feeling of discomfort to MOTIVATE us to MAKE CHANGES!!! :hug:

Fi: I say congratulations on MAINTAINING your weight! It beats gaining, especially while you are working so hard on the BERP. Something has to give, you know? I get exhausted and anxious sometimes just READING about all that you have accomplished on the BERP!!! I can't imagine the exhaustion you must FEEL having done all of that (and knowing you still have more to do). You are doing SO WELL, Fi!!! Hang in there and KEEP MOVING FORWARD!!! There is an end in sight! I sure hope your kitties are okay! You can finally REALLY rest and ENJOY your clutter-free home once the kittens are there safely and soundly!!! That time WILL get here, I promise! :hug:

Sabrina: So sorry you haven't received a call-back for another interview for that job you wanted. I trust that God has something RIGHT FOR YOU in store and will present it to you in His perfect timing. Until then, I am keeping you in my prayers that you will be guided to that job! Hang in there and keep the faith!!! :hug: It is great to hear that you are doing really well food-wise! Low carb is the way to go IF you can maintain it! Quick results! Keep up the great work!!! It WILL pay off. I hope that you will get up the courage to ask for help at the gym. You deserve help too, after all! Someone will be glad to help you, I'm sure. They would probably be flattered that you asked THEM for help! ;) Keep drinking that water! It is so good for you! :D

Lisa (ohiofreespirit): Sorry that you gained weight! That is a big bummer, but totally understandable since you are under a lot of stress. Glad to hear that your moods have stayed okay, though! That is so important and the key to turning things around in the weight department. YOU CAN DO THIS!!! Do your best to eliminate ANY sources of stress that you can and get right back on board with healthier eating and being satisfied with less food. I try to make healthy choices so that I can eat more of it when I am craving a lot of food. It is a huge challenge for me, too, but it IS possible! I am also sorry to hear that you lost your only client to a broken leg. Are you self-employed or do you work for an agency that can help you get more clients? Keeping you in my prayers! :hug:

Gotta run! Waving HELLO to everyone else and hoping you are all okay! Please post and give us an update whenever possible! :wave:

Fiona W
06-25-2014, 07:41 PM
Thanks, Kathleen, for the vote of confidence about how much I have accomplished on the BERP. I hope you get your rhythm back soon and can go swimming and enjoy the summer!

Speaking of getting things accomplished, and in the spirit of Kathleen's famous fairy dust, I think I've hit on a better way to nudge you guys into using that slow breathing technique to improve your willpower.

First off, let me tell you the logic behind it. Study after study has shown that people with a lot of variability in their heart rate have increased activity in the so-called "prefrontal" section of their brains—the part that's right behind your forehead bone. That section is responsible for higher-level decision making. Higher-level decision making is what you do when you choose an action, or choose to refrain from an action, because it's in your best longterm interests. The cool thing about this heartrate variability finding is that all you have to do to juice up your higher-level decision making is to make your heart rate, your pulse, more variable.

Now some people with a lot of biofeedback experience can make their heart rate variable, swinging it from fast to slow back to fast again, just by concentrating on doing so. But for those of us who don't have that ability, there's an easy shortcut: slow down your breath rate. With every breath you take, your heart rate naturally varies a bit: that's because when you inflate your lungs, you compress your heart and change how fast it pumps. If you've ever seen an EKG printout, you may have noticed that natural slow-fast-slow-fast rhythm. If you take long slow inhales up to fully expanded lungs, and long slow exhales down to fully deflated lungs, you can make that natural rhythm more pronounced.

Are you with me so far? Slow breathing rate —> More pronounced variation in heart rate —> Increased activity in prefrontal part of brain —> Improvement in "I will" and "I won't" power

So it's not just about relaxing and belly breathing. Think about it this way: as you start your inhale, imagine that the air is a very slowly trickling stream going up through your nose, down into your windpipe, and out into the balloons of your lungs. Let that stream trickle slowly, as sloooowly as you can make it go, until your belly is pooched all the way out and the sides of your chest, too, are lifting up like wings. When you get your lung-balloons as full as they can possibly get, hold it there. Wait for a count of 1...2...3...then let that stream of air start to trickle out, very slowly. Keep that stream steadily trickling out until your lung-balloons are all the way deflated, as flat as you can make them. Then wait for a count of 1, if you can. Then reverse the process and start another slowly trickling inhale. If you feel like you need to start inhaling right away after your lungs are as deflated as they'll get, that's fine, too. Just keep the whole cycle—whether you're inhaling, holding at full, exhaling, and then inhaling again—moving very slowly.

Your aim is to get your breath rate down to 4-6 breaths per minute, which means 10-15 seconds for that whole cycle. So if you can imagine the sound of a clock ticking, hear it tick around 5 times as you inhale, 3 times as you hold your lungs full, and 5 times as you exhale. Don't worry about getting short of breath: your lungs will be putting oxygen into your blood throughout the whole cycle. It's not in the least bit unnatural to slow down your breath rate like this.

How long do you need to keep doing the slow breathing, to get a noticeable change in your willpower? About 10 minutes—or about 50 breaths, if you feel like counting them. Pay attention, after each time you do it, and see how long you need to do the slow breaths, to notice an improvement in your willpower. The improvement will last quite a while—a few hours, in my experience. 10 minutes is not very long of a break, even in a really busy day, for such a big benefit. And you can do it as many times in the day as you want.

There's even a quick way to test whether it's working for you. You don't have to wait until the next time you're tempted to eat junk food or overeat, to notice the change. Give yourself a small job to do, right after you do your slow breathing—some job you don't often feel like doing. Like picking up a room, or balancing your checkbook, or taking a walk, or running an errand....the possibilities are endless. Notice how much easier it is to set yourself in motion on doing that job.

Trust me: I've been using slow breathing to get myself working on the BERP, day after day after day. I have no innate desire to de-clutter my house, believe me. It takes "I will" power, and I'm getting that power from slow breathing.

06-26-2014, 09:44 AM
sounds like you are considering your other posts on here and other weight loss forums within the last few hours.

. oh, i could say that i understand how everybody is feeling. because personally i was struggling with all the diets and exercises, it didn't worked for me at all.. and i don't have any health issues - maybe its just in my genetics.. so i tried a free trial of a product my friend suggested for me. Before that i haven't believed in all the diet pills and products like that but when i lost 10kg in 3 months in a healthy extract way i understood that its possible ! i know that you can't promote anything here, and I'm not promoting, I'm just sharing my experience because i want to help others who can't find a way for achieving their goals if you have any questions - feel free to contact me via my email - sonyalowell(at)

06-26-2014, 10:01 AM
Ok, so I caved and weighed myself today...down almost 5lbs in 3 days! Sure, it is probably mostly water weight, but it is the biggest downswing I've seen in ages. Plus I'm not hungry or tired, or even craving things I shouldn't have. The only thing I've been craving is water. :) I'm really getting tired of salads though, not sure I can eat one may have to make some adjustments next week.

06-26-2014, 02:50 PM
Hi there,

Believe, I'm so glad that you like Nantucket. I love it there! A relative of mine has a house there. I've been exhausted but I long for days on the beach there.

I've been struggling with some health issues, mainly my iron deficient anemia making me exhausted. I had IV iron yesterday. I have three more treatments.

Have a good day!


06-26-2014, 06:22 PM
We are headed up to the lake for a long weekend. My niece (the one who was just married in Ireland) has her in-town reception Saturday, but we will just commute back and forth from the lake for it. Worked out this morning with my trainer. She switched some things up on me and I got a fantastic workout!

MonteCristo: Congratulations on losing almost 5 pounds in 3 days!!! :carrot: You must be thrilled! Keep up the good work! :D

Fi: Thank you for taking the time to explain in detail the deep, slow breathing necessary to increase willpower. You explained it better than the book! :D It sounds so tedious, but I will give it a try soon. That is great that you actually notice a difference when you practice it.

Amy: Sorry that you have been exhausted from iron deficient anemia. IV iron does NOT sound like fun, but I hope it helps you to feel better. Hang in there and you can rest on the beach at Nantucket soon!!! :hug:

Holly: I miss seeing your posts! I know you are super busy with your summer job, but please post soon and let us know how you are! Hope all is well! :hug:

Will try to check in from hubby's computer at lake or I'll post late Sunday night. Have a wonderful weekend everyone! :)

Fiona W
06-26-2014, 07:11 PM
Kathleen— Oh no, the slow breathing is not tedious at all: I'm sorry that I made it sound that way. It takes a few breaths, even a dozen breaths, to sink into the slow rhythm of the inhale-exhale cycle, but once you're there, you'll find it quite peaceful & relaxing. Be sure to put yourself in a comfortable chair with your feet up, or lying on your side or back on a comfortable couch, so you won't be distracted as you concentrate on breathing sloooooowly. You'll like it, especially after you try doing a small task right afterwards, and you see what it can do for your willpower!

MonteCristo— Way to go on that 5-pound loss! You don't have to eat a salad every day. At least I don't. Follow through on that loss now, and keep going... =grin=

06-26-2014, 08:28 PM
Hi there... I'm still a bit tired today. I have three more iron infusions left. I'm looking forward to being away, I'm just so tired.

Does anyone know the name of a vacuum that can be used for vacuuming up small animal paper bedding? Thanks.


06-27-2014, 01:35 AM
hi. I am drained from a plumber being in my home since Tuesday. Hard to have his energy there every day. Tomorrow he will be back at 6:30am. It has thrown off my eating. And my sleeping. I normally do not get to sleep until very late. i have further cemented my weight gain since he has been there. The job is not completed yet. So I do not know when my life will again normalize. I have not had hot water since early tuesday morning. And didnt know then that it would be turned off. So I have not showered since Monday. Bigger and smelly, lol. i just hope he finishes up on Friday. Otherwise I will be without hot water in my home until Monday. AND I am having a VERY hard time with his energy. I also am having a terrible time with what the scale is saying.

Today I ate alright except I went to Costco and the samples were big ad full of carbs and fats. Carbs and fat a-plenty. The result of my indulgence is depressing. I have to find my way back to losing that 5 lbs that i gained. Otherwise I will keep going and going back up the all too familiar yoyo. And thats one scary thought. Sorry to be so down. And for not responding to what other people wrote.

06-27-2014, 10:14 AM
Flower123 - That is one serious plumbing problem! Short of replacing everything in your house I can't even imagine what must have gone wrong...I really hope he gets finished. I understand completly about having someone else in your home throwing everything off.

Amy - I hope you start to feel rested soon. That tired/worn out feeling makes everything so much harder. :hug:

Fiona - I'm going to definitely try that slow breathing exercise. It sounds like a perfect combo with my new hamock! :)

Kathleen - Have fun at the lake and reception. Sounds like you have a lovely weekend planned.

Ohio - How are you doing? I was glad to hear your mood was still good even dealing with some financial issues. Any kind of stress takes a toll and sometimes financial can be even worse. :hug:

Fleur - You are really on a roll lately. Killing it on the mood, diet & exercise front! Keep it up!! :carrot:

This has been an awesome week for me so far. I could almost slap myself for not doing low carb sooner. The difference in how I feel is about as dramatic as when I started my depression medicine. Like I'm a whole new (and greatly improved) me. I wish there was a way to "tape" this feeling so I remember it next time I want to do something ridiculous like eat a 1000 calories burger and wash it down with a 1000 calorie shake. :o

Oh, and though I probably should back away from the scale (:^: ) I'm now down 6lbs! I can't even begin to express how happy I am about this, so I will just add a bunch of dancing veggies!
:broc: :carrot: :broc: :carrot: :broc: :carrot: :broc: :carrot: :broc: :carrot: :broc:

Fiona W
06-28-2014, 01:02 AM
Another hard BERP day in my collage studio. I peeked into a couple of boxes just to see what they had in them, and was appalled to see a confused mess of cosmetics, ointments, insurance papers, ragged garments, you name it. And a couple of others contain way too many saved articles about Patti Smith that I will have to go through piece by piece, just to make sure I don't throw out anything I would be heartbroken to lose. (Patti Smith has been my one and only idol for nearly 40 years.)

But I put the lids back on those boxes. I'm not going to deal with them now, even if they are taking up space in my collage studio. I've been peeling back the layers of the contents of this house that belong to me, and I'm back into the 1990s now. It's not easy to face stuff that old.

Tonight Bob moved the 11 remaining boxes of books we are giving to charity out to the porch, for a scheduled pickup of tomorrow AM. I added a couple of organizational doodads I never figured out how to use—still like new and in their original boxes. I've discovered over the years that all I need to stay organized is my brain, my iPad, and a whole lot of bookshelves.

Then I had the idea that it was time to take up the rug in my studio. Bob just vacuumed it this morning, so it looked bright and fresh. It's a strange rug because it's in the irregular shape of a tropical island, one big enough to have three different beaches, mountains in the interior, some huts, and various animals—all depicted on the rug in bright colors. I found it in a children's catalog back in 1996 and fell in love...I adore tropical islands, and have been to Hawaii three times so far—the last time for a whole month all by myself in a tin shack on the beach...paradise indeed.

But it's time to say goodbye to my tropical island rug, because I want floor space in my studio to set up a couple of easels and have paint & brushes & other art supplies on a rolling taboret I have. I'm going to be making larger collages, and I need open space in which to set them up as works in progress.

So we rolled up the rug and put it out with the books & other stuff, to be picked up tomorrow. Bob vacuumed the wood floor. My studio looks amazing, and I'm thrilled by all the creative doors that are opening in my head! The BERP, when finished, is going to be really good for my art.

And yet I have a sense of loss...oh well...

Fiona W
06-28-2014, 01:17 AM
By the way, MonteCristo, I know exactly what you mean about feeling like a whole new improved person after going low carb. I finally gave up sugary treats last November, and since them have been eating just meat, cheese, macadamia nuts (they're low carb), and salads. I love it! I have real cream twice a day. I get to eat fatty foods like salami (organic, humanely raised meat; no sugar or other toxins). My taste buds are happy. I never feel hungry for longer than it takes to grab another slice of brie. I'm losing steadily. And I have so much energy! =grin=

06-28-2014, 04:29 AM
MonteCristo, the plumbing work is removing the water heater and boiler/furnace. Replacing them with one unit that does both. But he had to build all new piping. I dont understand it all. I cannot imagine why it took so long. But it did. Lots of piping in the utility room. I know they were honest. Am positive about that.

Awesome that you are doing so well on the low carb diet. I went low carb 1 1/2 years ago. Huge difference. But I cannot cut them out completely. When I tried that it was not physically healthy feeling. The weight comes off so well with low carb and low fat as I was doing. SO awesome that you are doing it. Congrats on the weight loss !

Fiona W same as above. Awesome that you are able to do the low carb thing.

I do not know how to get back that dicipline to stop the hot chocolate. While it is sweetened with stevia and has water and fat free almond milk, the cocoa powder itself is high in calories and carbs. And I am drinking so much of it. I hate these binge things I get on. This one has been getting worse. Keep trying to stop. Attempts to limit to even 4 cups a day seem futile. Drinking A LOT of the stuff.
Need to find the way to stop. Keep trying. But going back. Could be because cocoa/chocolate is good for the endorphins. I think I am just an addict.

06-28-2014, 10:37 AM
Good morning, all. :sunny: Thank you very much for the support. IBelieve, I think you're correct. I think there is an expression of jealousy about my weight loss and just the basic desire to have a target of gossip. :blah: From the outside, I expect my weight loss appears easy. Because I don't talk about my journey with these particular women, they have no clue about the difficulty of this process. :lifter: I wore my larger clothes throughout the winter to save money but it also concealed how much I was losing. For these women, when I showed up at the office wearing jeans that actually fit, my new figure was surprise, I'm sure. :eek: :D

Over 3 hours of cardio on the elliptical this week and I've managed to lose another pound. :woops: I'm taking stock of the kitchen later this morning, then heading out to do my grocery shopping for the week. The weather has finally clicked over to "summer" mode. It is going to be hot and humid this weekend.

After work yesterday, I went to the bike shop and bought myself a stylish new helmet. The one my husband picked out for me looked like a batter's helmet without the ear flap. In other words, butt ugly. Yes, I am that vain. Plus, it is too large and flops around when I'm riding on a dirt road. The professional at the bike shop made sure the new helmet fits me properly. I also invested in a rearview mirror and one of those blinky lights for increased visibility. :bike:

On the way home last night, I measured out a four mile loop that I can ride from the house that will keep me safe and close to home until I feel like a skillful enough rider to go further. My goal is to be able to do a quick-paced, 10-mile ride by Labor Day.

The other excitement for me is that I've stopped taking my birth control pills and it seems to be helping my mood. :woohoo: I ran out a couple weeks ago and accidentally tossed the Rx number, so went for a week without. During that time, my mood was definitely buoyant but I thought it was just because I was on vacation and the sun had finally come out. I finally got the prescription refilled and after only three days of taking the pills again, my mood completely tanked and I felt totally "hormonal" and pissy. :bomb: I decided on Thursday, that I would stop the pills again to see what would happen. Immediately, my mood improved. :love: Since I have been taking the pills simply to regulate my period and not for birth control itself (my husband had the big snip), I'm going to stop altogether and wait to see how things go.

Well, enough silliness. Have a wonderful weekend, everyone.

06-28-2014, 12:58 PM
Hi everyone,

This was an interesting week. I began low carb as a means to lose weight and so far I think it's been successful. Today I weighed in at 181.5lbs! WOOP!!!

I didn't get a call about that job, BUT I did apply for a part time position at a pro life agency. Praying I get contacted for an interview. Also, the Catholic Center position will close on Monday so praying to hear from them for an interview as well.

I'm staying positive, but considering looking into some counseling. I need to check with my insurance to see what the process is, etc but I think it could be very helpful for my depression and up and down mood. I have a lot I'm dealing with right now and it would be nice to have someone educated in counseling to help. We will see how this goes.

My hubby and I will be going to visit his brother who is in prison. It will be the first time we can visit so we are excited. He had a very short sentence and only has about 2 months left, but the process for getting approved for visits takes a while. We're excited to see him as it's been 4 months since we saw him last prior to him going in. Letters and emails just aren't very good. Plus we'll get to buy him some food. I guess they don't feed them well at all there as he has lost weight. He was a healthy weight before, so it obviously the food content and amount. He made a stupid mistake to get in there, but we will all be happy to see him leave. He realizes his mistake and I think has definitely changed for the better. I know his faith has been strengthened, which I'm very happy for.

06-28-2014, 02:07 PM
Fleur: I hope you and your husband have a good visit with your brother-in-law. I'm glad you'll have a chance to see him. I have a young cousin who got wrapped up in non-violent drug trafficking and is pleading guilty to her charges. Federal Law says her minimum sentence should be 10 years, which has upset my parents since it is unlikely they would be here to see her return to society.

I've read that since she's entering a guilty plea and is undergoing drug treatment in advance of her sentencing, she may get a significantly reduced sentence but no one will know until she appears in court. She'll have to serve her time in a federal facility. Her grandmother is hoping for Connecticut, because it is the closest but who knows? Hopefully, she'll receive some sort of job training.

This whole prison thing is entirely new to the family. No one knows the rules or regulations. What's allowed? What isn't allowed? How do you find out? When she was in County Jail waiting to enter drug treatment, my father sent her $10 for commissary. The state took $4 of it for "processing." I had no idea the state was taking a 40% cut of any money prisoners received from family. The entire experience is like finding yourself in a maze.

06-28-2014, 04:18 PM
worththeeffort2, I am so impressed by your dedication to the exercise. 2 hours on the eliptical in a week? Oh that is impressive. And now bike riding?
Awesome re the mood change when stopping the pill.

woke at a normal time. But it was too daunting to face the day of food cravings. After a while I went back to sleep.

Am going to try do the little jogging trampoline for 7 minutes. Thats about the max this exercise avoidant person can do. I also plan to stay strong re intake of food today. Had a rocky start with the hot chocolate. Very rocky. But I will do my best the rest of the day to keep calories and carbs to bare minimum. Except for the cocoa powder, of course. Projected calories : 1260.

06-28-2014, 07:54 PM
Hi there...

I hope that everyone is having a good weekend. I'm going to bed early because I get up early tomorrow to head to Nantucket! I'm very excited, this should be a lot of fun. Last night I watched The Fault In Our Stars, it is an excellent movie, sad but very well done.

Have a nice evening. I'm off to track some points.

06-28-2014, 08:59 PM
worththeeffort- Yeah the whole system is very flawed. The rules are ridiculous. In regards to what you can wear to visit, no khakis, no blue, and one other color. If you stand up at any time during the visit, that ends the visit. The rules go on and on.

Sorry to hear about your cousin. I believe our laws are too harsh in regards to drugs. My brother in law isn't in for drugs but for another reason. A lapse in judgment. The saddest part of the whole situation is we didn't really expect him to go to prison. His lawyer was pretty confident he wouldn't serve any jail time. He was wrong. Many people provided character witness statements for him including family, close family friends and our priest. The judge basically called us all liars. It was a really sad excuse for justice.

I'm excited to see him. His parents saw him today and I guess other prisoners are starting to get jealous of him and his soon approaching release. They are trying to get him involved in things and fight, etc. I'm praying he's able to lay low and stay safe. We had never dealt with a family member in this situation, but it really makes you understand how sending someone to prison affects not only that person, but so many more.

As a last note, the judge who sentenced him was up for reelection this year. Unfortunately, no one ran or will run against him, so he will remain on the bench. :/

06-28-2014, 10:42 PM
made the decision to not allow cocoa powder in my home anymore. I will have some tomorrow morning and then dump the rest. I cannot control myself with it. Its what I call a "trigger food". The calories are a whopping 42 per tablespoon. And I think I read there are 18 grams of carbs in a Tbs.I use a shameful amount in a day of cocoa drinking. There are cocoa powders on the market that are lower in calories. But this is dutched. And it is very good quality.

I still will have the black cocoa powder which is only 10 calories / 3 grams of carbs per T. IT is so intense that it can only add it to things. eg my dandiblend drink which i do not like very much. I always have added in the black cocoa powder to the other.

SO this should take care of the problem. Although it will remove the reason I have to wake up in the morning. So its a trade off. I have tried doing this before. I will try yet again.

06-29-2014, 09:53 AM
flower123: Thanks for your support. I have to admit, I'm not a big fan of exercise but I'm learning that it is really the only thing that works if I want to burn fat and make serious progress in my weight loss.

I've stated it here on the board before: it isn't a matter of "can" and "can't"; it's a matter of "will" and "won't." If you're facing a workout you don't want to do and tell yourself, "I can't! I'm too tired," or "I can't! It's too hard," what you're really saying is, "I won't. I don't want to." Reframing my perspective in this way forces me to own my actions. That way, if I don't lose weight or if I lose ground in my fitness, it's because I won't do the work necessary for success and I have to own that decision.

Sorry about you having to toss the cocoa powder. I purged all my cupboards, too. Anything containing carbs, including flour, I packed up and gave to my parents several months ago. Pasta, crackers, my beloved Jasmine rice, all gone. The only high-carb food we have in the house now are my husband's raisin bran and dried prunes. :) He does not have to fight me to maintain possession, trust me!

:cheer2:Holly: :cheer3: We miss you! :D I hope things are going fantastic for you at work. Since it is a gorgeous New England weekend, I hope you are getting a chance to get out and ride.

Amy: Nantucket sounds dreamy. I hope you squeeze every ounce of fun out of the trip that you can.

Last night, I took a (car) ride with my husband to map out the route for my 10-mile goal ride on Labor Day weekend. The loop is actually 10.8 miles from our garage door back to our garage door, so it works out perfectly. There are a number of hills (which means there's an equal number of downhills!) and about 5 miles of it will be on a dirt road. Very little traffic, so safe in that regard.

I did some online research last night about the kind of training I should be doing. What I found is that I need to up the number of times a week that I go out on the bike to four or five. That means I need a couple more pairs of padded bike shorts so I have something to wear while some are in the laundry. I also found recommendations that I should be doing bodyweight training--crunches, lunges, and the like--in the hundreds. Hundreds? Talk about can't and won't! :rolleyes: I am so totally NOT a fan of crunches.

I do need to come up with a weight training program I can stick to, however. Despite Sabrina's great support here, I just don't feel comfortable in the free weight area of the gym because I don't know what the heck I'm doing. :( I'm going to have to hire a trainer to teach me a routine and supervise for a while. Making a monetary commitment may be the only way to force myself to carry through and stick with a program.

On a different note, I finally decided on my non-food reward for reaching the 80 pounds lost mark. I've scheduled to get a set of artificial nails while I'm on vacation next week. It's a totally girly-girl thing to do, I think, and is something I've never done before though I have thought about it. I'll get a set of business-length, traditionally shaped nails. I want them to look natural and still be able to type! I'm currently obsessing over what color to have them painted.

Fiona W
06-29-2014, 09:10 PM
Other than our niece Margaret standing us up for dinner for the third time in a row (she's been really busy, so I forgive her), I had a really nice weekend. It was a treat to have those 11 boxes of books, plus some other stuff, plus the rug I no longer wanted, picked up by charity and gone, gone, gone. Now all we have in the downstairs hallway is a box I'm saving because it's a perfect size for kitten play, and I can start thinking about displaying the highlights of the mail art I've saved on the wall there. That would be yet another batch of stuff up off the floor. Wide open floor space is what it's all about!

My great-niece Grace came over on Saturday afternoon for another round of sorting clippings, and we had some terrific conversation about art. She's goin' great guns with her art journal, and I was able to give her some tips on fine-detail snipping, drawing with a smoother line, creating personal handwriting alternatives, and how to make collage postcards. I think the most rewarding part of the afternoon for me, though, was taking her into Bob's and my bedroom to look at the dozen or so large prints we have up by Van Gogh, Picasso, Kandinsky, Klimt, Gauguin, et al., and talk about composition. She seems not to have had much exposure to fine art, because her jaw was dropping in delighted amazement as we went from print to print and observed what they had to teach us. Nothing like looking at art with a newcomer to see familiar images with new eyes! It makes me want to schedule a trip with her this fall to hop the Metro into DC and visit the National Gallery. It's been way too long since I've paid homage to my favorite paintings there, and they rotate stuff a lot in the newer wing, so who knows what wonders we might encounter? =smile=

I don't have an update on the kittens 'cause Julie had to make a short trip, but I'm hoping to get one in a day or two. I think of little Oscar often, urging him to "Get well, well, well" and "Grow like a weed!"

As always, I'm sorry I don't have time for personals because of the ongoing BERP, but please know that I'm reading your postings with care and wishing all of you the best!

06-29-2014, 09:54 PM
Visit went great today. It was so nice to see my brother in law. Got some sad news though, apparently some other inmates stole a lot of his commissary stuff. Very petty. He was also jumped by another inmate, hit several times, and the guy tried to choke him out. Luckily, he knew how to defend against that and was able to get out of it. We're praying so hard that the next few weeks go by quickly so he can come home. It was so hard to leave him there... :/

Hoping to hear something in regards to job interviews this week. One at the Catholic Center, the other at the Crisis Pregnancy Center (A pro-life organization.) Please pray or provide positive thoughts for me... I know most of you are! Thank you!

06-30-2014, 10:13 AM
Fiona - You are my decluttering (BERP) hero. I am amazed at how much your have been accomplishing, and your difficulty level is set pretty high. I just get to toss have to go through it and sort it on an artistic level that I can't even imagine. That you've been sticking to it so faithfully is trully amazing. And it is nice to see another on the low carb train! :)

Flower - I certainly didn't mean to insinuate that you were being's just that my Dad and I do a lot of remodelling, so I have an interest it the subject. As for the low carb, I think different people are suited for different diets. Unlike a lot of people who have negative reactions at the beginning and have to adjust to low carb, I feel fabulous from the first meal. Good for you on removing cocoa, that must be hard. How are you doing so far? The good news is the cravings usually die away in 4-5 days once you give up something. So hang in there.

Worth - Excellent job on the elliptical. Three hours is awesome. Congrats on your loss too. Nice job on stumbling into something to improve your mood, and a simple fix too!

Fleur - Another one trying low carb. It's an epidemic! :D Wishing you the best of luck in your job search.

Amy - Have a blast in Nantucket!

Pretty standard weekend for me. It rained on and off all weekend, so I basically stayed inside curled up on the couch with my pets. I did complete all my goals for the week...stayed completely on plan for induction, exercised at least 20 minutes everyday, and didn't leave dishes in the sink overnight. :) This next week, adding to that, I plan to add daily yoga and exercising Sydney (my lab mix). She needs to lose some weight, she's at 52 pounds and really shouldn't weigh more than 40. I'm doing a semi- atkins diet for her, lol. She already eats a really good grain free dog food. But I cut her back quite a bit, which normally has the results of her stealing the cat food or else chewing up everything in the house. But I've been adding like 1/2 tsp of bacon grease to her food, and it seems to satisfy her. Plus it is great for her coat. So we'll see how it goes. But she needs the exercise, and it certainly wouldn't hurt me to get a little extra too!

Fiona W
06-30-2014, 02:15 PM
Ugh—I'm BERP-ed out. The weekend's time off wasn't long enough. And yet I can't stop BERP-ing: every room I happen to walk through I get hung up on sorting things into recycle, trash,'s driving me nuts. I need a complete break from this house!!

Fortunately, an opportunity for such a break has arisen. There's gonna be a gathering of Bob's family—his mom, his sis, our niece Margaret, I don't know who else—at Full Circle Farm (FCF) in south-central Pennsylvania over the 4th of July weekend. And Bob says we can leave early, perhaps tomorrow, and have a few days up there alone—yippee!

FCF is not a working farm anymore: it's been turned into a nature preserve by Bob's mom, and she's deeded the property to the two of us. The pleasant & tidy 19th-century (restored) farmhouse is nestled in a tiny valley where all the land from the wooded ridgeline down to the stream, up to the other wooded ridgeline, belongs to us. I've been trying to get Bob to go with me up to the farm (it's just 3-4 hrs away) for months & months, in fact years, but his agoraphobia has stood in the way. He's better now, enough better to be willing to go up there, so I'm jumping at the chance to enter a totally different headspace for a while: very rural, utterly quiet, no internet, nobody calling, hammock on the wide porch, walks in the get the picture. Maybe I'll only take French-language books with me, just to make things truly alternative. I could do some iPad painting...

Oh, and I made a collage I think y'all will like: it's called "a certain delicacy of intent" ( =smile=

06-30-2014, 04:43 PM
Hi there!

I'm having a lot of fun in Nantucket! Tonight we're celebrating my birthday, I'll be 38 next month, yikes!

Take care, I hope everyone is well, bye for now.


06-30-2014, 05:47 PM
Worththeeffort- If you go with a trainer, just let them know your interested in focusing on free weights. I had a free training workout at my gym and they had me do a bunch of other stuff I could easily have done on my own, but didn't show me anything about the free weights. I ended up just teaching myself.

So Monday has come and gone... I so much wanted to see a missed phone call on my phone today, but I didn't get anything. Also no emails. I get so excited about potential jobs, it's a real bummer when you don't hear anything. I know it is just Monday, but it's still difficult.

06-30-2014, 07:03 PM
Worththeeffort- If you go with a trainer, just let them know your interested in focusing on free weights. I had a free training workout at my gym and they had me do a bunch of other stuff I could easily have done on my own, but didn't show me anything about the free weights. I ended up just teaching myself.

So Monday has come and gone... I so much wanted to see a missed phone call on my phone today, but I didn't get anything. Also no emails. I get so excited about potential jobs, it's a real bummer when you don't hear anything. I know it is just Monday, but it's still difficult.

Also it's run-up to the 4th of July..people get sluggish and distracted...something will come! :)

07-01-2014, 01:49 AM
2salads: :welcome2: to the group! I am getting ready to start our Ups & Downs Support Group: July 2014 thread. Please look for us and continue to post and tell us a little (or a lot) about yourself. Glad you posted! :)

07-01-2014, 01:53 AM
Hello Everyone! I am going to start the July 2014 thread right now. Please find us there and post to let us know you made it! Sorry for any inconvenience. I do this to keep the group "organized" and to keep the thread from getting too long. Hope to see you all there! :hug:

07-23-2014, 11:52 PM
Hi I'm giving this a shot. I am 24 turning 25 on Sunday. I am a mother to two boys ages 2 going on 3 and a 1 year old. I just got out of a 5 year old abusive relationship. Now I'm a single mother who is tired of being fat. I am loosing weight but it just seems to not be happening fast enough. I can't wait to be skinny again. I'm so lost on what to do with my life. I been cooped up for 5 years due to my previous relationship situation and now I have no friends and I am soo lost on what to do with my life. What can I do for fun, who do I talk to? etc... I'm scared of having to finally face the world.

07-28-2014, 08:09 AM

I've just read your conversation and I identified myself 2 years ago. According to my experience I think that motivation is the most important thing in the whole process of changing habits, weight loss, exercises etc. You can motivate yourself with motivational articles, quotes, pictures, music. When you will motivate yourself, everything is much more easier...

Stay Positive and Good Luck !!!

All the best