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Old 05-29-2014, 12:00 PM   #1  
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Default WORK DILEMMA - I know what I need to do, but...

So, I work part-time, like REALLLLLY part-time. I work on Sundays and I'm director of Sunday Schools for a humanist organization. When I started 3 years ago this fall, we had 6 children in the program. We now have 40. I have worked VERY hard with growing the Sunday School, creating curriculum, making everyone feel welcome, etc. And I LOVE IT.

And, they love me. The salary has gone up each year despite the organization running into financial slow downs.

HOWEVER.... my son is starting college in the fall and we really could use more income. I am looking for other employment here and there (not too strenuously) but I thought I would be able to keep this little part-time job anyway as it's mainly on Sundays (with hours thrown in here and there wherever I want to do them at home).

And just today a FULL TIME position at a sister humanist organization just popped up. I should really apply. I know that. BUT... I don't want to leave MY organization in a lurch AND it's a one year interim position (with the possibility of renewing next year).

Of course, there's no guarantee I would get the job and they probably have someone on the inside who is going to apply, but even APPLYING for the position means I should let my 'people' know as they are also my references!!!!

Such a dilemma for me ethically - and I am a director of ETHICAL education! I would feel so bad leaving behind the job I love... but I need the income of this other possibility. I even know there would be no hard feelings, but then why do I feel like such a heel even thinking about applying for this job?
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Old 05-29-2014, 12:04 PM   #2  
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Do they know you are looking for additional employment? Maybe you should start with that conversation. Let them know that you're looking and why. See how they react and go from there? It would be worthwhile for them to know anyway, so that they can be prepared to give you a reference.

I believe in being as open and honest as possible (without losing your job of course!) That doesn't mean you have to give all the info straight away. Start small and see how it goes. Good luck to you! The FT position sounds perfect!
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Old 05-29-2014, 12:10 PM   #3  
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Do they know you are looking for additional employment? Maybe you should start with that conversation. Let them know that you're looking and why. See how they react and go from there? It would be worthwhile for them to know anyway, so that they can be prepared to give you a reference.

I believe in being as open and honest as possible (without losing your job of course!) That doesn't mean you have to give all the info straight away. Start small and see how it goes. Good luck to you! The FT position sounds perfect!
Yes, they do know I'm looking for more employment and they already are current references. HOWEVER, most things don't interfere with Sundays (and I wouldn't look for jobs with commitments on Sundays), but THIS one is the exact same job I have now - just full time versus 10 hours a week.
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Old 05-29-2014, 12:21 PM   #4  
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Well, since they know you are looking and know they will be put down as a reference, I think the best thing to do would be to inform them you intend to apply for this position and offer to make the transition as easy as possible should you get the job. You wouldn't be leaving them in a lurch if you plan well, make sure a replacement is in place, and open yourself up to being a consultant when needed. Tell them you weren't looking for something that would require you to leave your current job, but you know that it is a good fit for you and hope they understand it is an opportunity you cannot pass up.

Sometimes you have to put yourself first. I know it's hard when you really love a job and an organization (I work in the non-profit sector, too). They will understand and there's a way you can make the transition without causing damage.

Just my two cents. Sounds like you already know all this and just need the push to do it?

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Old 05-29-2014, 04:23 PM   #5  
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OK, another question...

It is VERY likely that they have an inside person who they are hoping will apply for the job (we have hired from inside 90% of the time for the same position where I am currently). The resume, etc., is to be sent to the head person of the organization. I know this person and she is a friend of mine on FB... though our contact has strictly been through this humanist organization.

Would it be worth my time to ask her if they have someone in mind?(Or something along those lines) so that I don't put my sister organization in freak out mode if I say I'm applying? Or is that WAY out of line to ask such a thing?

Thoughts?
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Old 05-29-2014, 06:27 PM   #6  
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I think you might consider that this may be Heaven-sent (literally) and that the Lord has provided for your needs. Similarly, He would provide for the needs of your current organization such that someone will step up to help fill your old role.

And then I'd say just be up front about it so they can start getting prepared. I think they'll be happy for you, knowing that you needed the extra work and knowing you'll still be doing something you love.
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Old 05-30-2014, 03:10 PM   #7  
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OK, another question...

It is VERY likely that they have an inside person who they are hoping will apply for the job (we have hired from inside 90% of the time for the same position where I am currently). The resume, etc., is to be sent to the head person of the organization. I know this person and she is a friend of mine on FB... though our contact has strictly been through this humanist organization.

Would it be worth my time to ask her if they have someone in mind?(Or something along those lines) so that I don't put my sister organization in freak out mode if I say I'm applying? Or is that WAY out of line to ask such a thing?

Thoughts?
No, I wouldn't try to squirm information out of her about other candidates. That's not really your business and it puts her in an awkward situation. You can reach out to her and tell her you are applying for the job and hope that she'll keep you in mind.

Being honest about your needs and taking opportunities for your own benefit is a respectable thing to do. If your dear friend came to you for advice about this what would you tell her to do?

Also, sometimes I think we overestimate our importance in our jobs, where in reality our purpose follows us wherever we may go. We think that if we leave or even take vacation that things will fall apart in our absence. It's ok to be confident about what you do, but one door opens another door and things always fall into place. Don't think that you're leaving them in the lurch, think about the wonderful opportunity you are providing for someone else to step in to. Making this transition is NOT a selfish act. You shouldn't feel selfish by prioritizing your needs and your family's needs. I'm not religious at all, but I'm pretty sure God would think that your family's needs should be your priority.
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Old 05-30-2014, 03:40 PM   #8  
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Wannabeskinny - I'm not religious either. It's a secular humanist group. They have them in NY too - Ethical Society.

And I know I'm not irreplaceable, but I wouldn't know I had the job (if I got it) until July probably and then they would need to find someone new AND a new teacher as I teach. We are a VERY small group (about 100 members), so it isn't so easy to fill people's shoes when they step aside. Now... would someone step up? OF COURSE and I can even think of a couple who might want to jump at the chance (and might even be trying for the FT one at the sister organization as it was announced to the whole group).

My husband thinks I should feel it out. We are a SMALLLLLLLLL national organization (I'm also on the nat'l board for Sunday School ethical education), so there is a lot of 'sharing' of ideas, etc between these two sister organizations that are close geographically, so a simple "asking" about the situation might not be that weird.

Once, EONS ago I applied at a different job within the same university. I didn't say I was applying to my current boss as it was a long shot at the job and I didn't want her to think I was trying to leave - I wasn't... like this time, it was just something that seemed to fit me PERFECTLY. And not telling her nearly bit me in the butt and my boss (she was a PIECE OF WORK) tried to keep me from getting the job saying it would put too much burden on her, yada yada - I got the job, no thanks to her and it was a much better fit for me and they LOVED me (switched from student activities to rez life).

So, I know I have to at least TELL the folks at my organization I'm applying - especially since they act as references, but feeling it out might be best for all parties - people WILL be talking between the two groups. Probably already people are going at our org. "I wonder if Melissa is going to apply?"
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Old 05-30-2014, 04:26 PM   #9  
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You know the politics of it better than I do, so go with your gut. Being honest is always the best option, just remember not to feel guilty about it and that things always do work out for the best.
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Old 06-04-2014, 06:44 PM   #10  
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Ok, so I called the person and it's complicated. It's for an interim position. They want someone to come in, shake it up and make a ton of changes. Theat person will be on for 1, possibly 2 years. Then they want to reopen the search to hire someone full time to take over once all the changes are implemented.

She informed me that the person they hire could do everything perfectly, but then they may still not decide to hire them as they might want to go a different direction or just start fresh with someone who doesn't have any negativity about them with all the changes.

Basically she told me - we love to have you as a candidate, but you (and we) would need to decide if you are better with applying this time or next year.

Of course, they might also decide to rehire the interim person - they can't know.

I think I will polish and adapt my resume and start the interview process, I can decide from there if it feels right or not.

But it kind of would stink to be the person to do all the shake up and changes and to deal with the tough times and then not get to stay to benefit from the positive side of the changes. It would also stink to have everything changed and not to be able to put my own stamp on things too if I wait a year!

As I said. Complicated.
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Old 06-04-2014, 10:32 PM   #11  
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I think you have a sense of ethics and would not feel okay violating it. Keep looking and you will find a job that meets your needs AND will not make you feel ethically queasy.
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Old 06-05-2014, 12:14 AM   #12  
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I get that we'd all like to be nice and ethical, and find that dream job.

The bad thing is, those 2 things don't always mesh.

Honesty is the best policy, with what you are looking at and what is best for yourself.

I left a job I really, really, REALLY liked, but, because, the organization, was unwilling to let me advance, even though I already had run the place and had the skills. What I lacked was that Bachelors degree. I had run the place with great success, but since I didn't even have a degree, in at least under water basket weaving, as a TEMP, I did not qualify.

In the end, it comes down to, most of us have to choose, between what we like and what we can afford, now, and hopefully, we can work towards the like is better than the money.

I'm lucky. I like my job, and it pays well. The down side, my boss is 71. I have tons of skills in my field, but no medical certification. So basically, if he croaks, I'm screwed.

But I would not trade a second of what I'm doing!

I guess, it just boils down to, it's all about choices. The choices are up to us.
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Old 06-05-2014, 09:23 AM   #13  
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I think you have a sense of ethics and would not feel okay violating it. Keep looking and you will find a job that meets your needs AND will not make you feel ethically queasy.
How am I violating ethics? or would be violating ethics?

The only weird part about is that it's for an interim position. I would HATE to give up a job I LOVE but is 1/4 time for one that is full time, but only 1-2 years. After that, I would no longer have that job that fits my interests and skills set so well.

The thing I have to decide now is:

a. take the interim job if offered now and hope they would rehire me in a year or two as the permanent full-time position.

b. interview now to get a feel for it, but turn down the job or drop out of the process as the interim position and let them know I'll be more interested when it's listed as a full-time, permanent position. That way they get to "see" me and learn of my skill set, but I'm not setting myself up for one year only. The risk is, of course, is that they will love the interim person they hire and then I won't be considered the following year.

I just don't get this tactic of theirs for a small organization (300 people plus 60 kids). This isn't some big corporation where they need to cut staff and reorganize from top to bottom. I think the committee, "thinks" this sounds like a good idea, but it's really not.
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Old 06-05-2014, 09:26 AM   #14  
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"Such a dilemma for me ethically - and I am a director of ETHICAL education! I would feel so bad leaving behind the job I love... but I need the income of this other possibility. I even know there would be no hard feelings, but then why do I feel like such a heel even thinking about applying for this job?"
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Old 06-05-2014, 09:42 AM   #15  
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"Such a dilemma for me ethically - and I am a director of ETHICAL education! I would feel so bad leaving behind the job I love... but I need the income of this other possibility. I even know there would be no hard feelings, but then why do I feel like such a heel even thinking about applying for this job?"
I don't think.... really, it's about ethics, now that I re-read what I wrote as I would be leaving a part time job for the SAME, but different location, full-time job. I would just feel bad leaving as I know they love what I have done and I have made a huge, positive impact there. They would have to scramble a bit, but they would be OK. I can't stay to keep them happy if it means shooting myself and my family in the foot.

So, when I said I was ethically torn... it's not quite the right sentiment. I would feel kind of like a winning football coach at a small college leaving for a higher paying job at a bigger named college. It's completely analogous. It's not wrong... but it's kind of sad that the smaller place can't offer what the bigger place can offer. I NEED a full-time job and being able to do the same one I love FULL time would be awesome. The smaller place can't offer me full-time. THey just can't, so for that I feel bad about it... but it's not ethically wrong to leave.

Where I'm torn now is that taking this chance now (if they hire me) might mean I end up with ZERO job I really love a year down the road.
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