[GlamourGirl827]

I need one.

Seriously.

I try and try and while I can handle the physical end of weight management, I cannot get a hold on my eating. I've been coming at it from all angles. The physical, which includes cutting out sugar & limiting carbs to reduce cravings...the caloric, which is making sure I get enough calories and not falling into the restriction/ binge cycle...the emotional, which is stress eating and eating out of loneliness or boredom, and noticing my triggers...I've switched to a whole food diet...and 90% of the time I eat very healthy, minus the occasional splurge....I don't feel deprived....but it all boils down to (excuse my frankness) I'm a fat @$$ that cannot stop stuffing my face. Sometimes I over eat HEALTHY stuff, apples, natural peanut butter, pistachios...Sometimes I just decide to eat a pint of ice cream...I cannot do this alone and I cannot do this with a kind person.

I have a very strong, dominate personality, and I respond very well to a tough love leader. I tried weight watchers in the past for weight in accountability but they are too nice. I need someone that is going to be like "cut the sh!t, so eating, you're already fat, you want to get fatter? Because that's what you are doing to yourself!"
I realize some people find this abusive, I find it forced motivation. Because when some one is like "Yay, you can do it! Lets talk about your feelings when you eat"...I'm like "How about you go scratch, I'm going to go eat a gallon of ice cream now, so get out of my way."

When I want to "talk" I come here, but I need someone in real life that I have a slight fear will personally duct taped my jaw shut if I don't stop eating way too much food...

[novangel]

I can't see anyone willing to do this but I understand where you're coming from. I'm a running machine, I'm at goal, I'm staying at goal, but....I could be thinner. If I didn't run so much god only knows what my weight would be. I'm really good most of the month but I go to freaking town a few days before TOM that always leaves me a bloated mess. I don't have much willpower at times either. All of us wound up here because we can't control our food.

Weight loss is a lot like quitting smoking, no matter what anyone else says you have to decide when you're really done.

[PatLib]

Do you use MyFitness Pal? I have to say cataloging everything I eat helps. It sort of shames me when I overeat.

I don't use so much for counting calories but it helps me when I overeat in the morning or lunch and better control myself for dinner. I know some people think controlling calories is bad but I disagree. When I was just eating healthy whole food (which I am still doing) I ate apples, oranges, spinach, etc. with wild abandon and when I first started using MyFitness Pal I realize I was eating like 3,000 and only exercising about 500 calories off a day. Now I try to net 1500 calories, and on weekends I net 2000. It has helped a lot!

Also, marathon trainer groups are good too. They are very aggressive about exercise and plus you have to see them every other day so if you tell them your goal they will bug you about it!

[yoyoma]

You are taking the right "meta-approach": you aren't feeling like your current approach works well enough for you, so you are trying to find an approach you think will work better for you.

A tough-love coach might work well for you, but might be difficult to find, especially since you want one in RL.

So you might need to consider alternative approaches that might work for you. One person has suggested a focus on exercise. Another has suggested accountability gadgets.

Another way to get increased accountability is to commit to posting on some of the appropriate accountability threads on 3fc. There are several that might help.

Another approach you might consider is BCT. You could jump into the Beck group or try to find a BC therapist near you (they are probably easier to find than a tough love coach).

I also think you might want to consider an approach like I take, with an eating window. I found it impossible to avoid over-eating healthy food in maintenance when I was eating throughout the day. If you're interested in more about the specifics of my approach PM me, but it's basically one meal a day.

Good luck. I hope you find something that works well for you!

[Novus]

Do you have a friend who could be your accountability partner? My bff does this for me. We've known each other forever and she's like a sister to me and I've totally given her permission to call me out whenever necessary. She's said some harsh sh*t to me over the years.....but I've always appreciated it (and known that she was absolutely correct).

[Electro]

You could look at hiring a personal trainer if that is in your ability to do. Mine was chosen because he is a 'no excuses' person. His point is if you value it enough you will find a way to do it. An example being that when I injured my leg, we continued to work out just as hard, doing upper body and core work. Flexible, but focussed is how we handled it. There is no soothing, gentle encouragement or false positivity. We are focussing on strength so he laughs when I complain that all my new small shirts are too tight on the arms now. I don't use him for weight loss coaching as I did that, but I've seen him work with his other weight loss clients ... A weight watchers group love person he is not!

He also gets away with saying things my oh or other friends couldn't, as it does not have any emotional conotations that could make it get misread. plus I can't lie to him, as the truth is always in the results. Dammit!