Weight Loss Surgery - Never thought I would be here

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05-11-2014, 06:01 PM
I have recently had some health problems, and finally got in to see my new primary care physician. I'd been without insurance until 2013, and just "never got around" to getting a p.c.p.

To make a long story short, my doctor believes that I am getting arthritis in my neck, which is affecting my shoulders, fingers, etc. I'm in a lot of pain all the time. This has been going on for around 2 months, and before that I was able to lead a fairly active life (gym every morning, walks, a 5k (I walked it not running), etc). I carry a LOT of my weight in my upper back, and she believes that's what is causing the arthritis....my weight.

I've thought about weight loss surgery off and on for many years, but lacked the insurance/funds to really think seriously about it. Sitting in the doctor's office, having weighed in (humiliatingly) at over 400 pounds, my doctor suggested that I get serious about the possibility of weight loss surgery.

The tears started right then and there. I've been dieting since I can remember, and the last time I was under 200 pounds was in kindergarten. I'm currently at my near highest weight, and struggle year after year to lose it. I lead an active life, doing 3+ sessions of cardio, and 3 sessions of strength training per week. I've used myfitnesspal to track my food for over 3 years, and nothing seems to work for me in the long run.

I feel such shame. Such humiliation, that it's come to the point where I may have surgery because I can't seem to lose the weight on my own. I've never judged ANYONE for having WLS (I know a few people that have had it), however I can't help but almost...judge myself for looking into it. I spent most of Friday afternoon crying, because I just feel so ashamed and humiliated.

I've spent the entire weekend reading message boards, doing research on the procedures, and exactly what to expect, what to eat, etc. I've made an appointment to attend a WLS seminar on May 19th at the local bariatric center.

I know that I need to do more research, and attend the seminar, but I feel as if this may be the best thing for me...to have surgery. My mother, my husband, and my best friend are all behind me, no matter what I decide to do.

I've been a member of these boards for many many years, but kind of "gave up" coming here when the weight just wouldn't budge...or worse, go up. However, I know that support can be crucial, and there's a lot of good information on these boards, so here I am.

May 19th can't come soon enough now.

05-11-2014, 09:10 PM
First of all, :hug::hug:.. You sound heavy hearted.
I had my surgery February 28 this year in Mexico (my ins does not cover). I am sooo glad I did it!!! I have been on a yo yo diet for 25 years and I decided this is my time to live!!!

With that said, let me tell you it is not easy breezy. They took out part of my stomach (I had the sleeve), but not my brain. It is harder than I anticipated mentally. But, again, I am not regretful of my decision. Your brain wants you to keep eating when you have nowhere to put it. Your mind envies ppl who can eat a "normal"portion.... However you just have to do a lot of self talk to get through it. You have to remember why you went through the pre diet and weeks after of liquids and soft foods. And remember how good it feels to be comfortable in your clothes and eventually new ones.

I too used to have a negative stigma that ppl who got surgery took the"easy way out"... Having been through it ... IT IS NOT easy. It takes work and dedication, and CONTROL!!! But it can be the best decision you mKe for health.

Good luck in your decision . You can message me here if u need other help.

05-12-2014, 10:05 AM
Kayley - repeat after me: WLS IS NOT A PUNISHMENT. it's a tool

and love, why are you so hard on yourself? you said that you didn't judge others for deciding to have the surgery, so why would you be so much LESS kind and more judgmental with yourself?

Facing a future as an overweight person is very scary - but so is facing ALL the unknowns of surgery, especially since you know that you will have to make A LOT of changes. Some will be fairly easy, but others - O M G!!! I'm still struggling with some of them after 10+ years [especially the 'sitting with the emotions that i don't like and want to eat away' one].

So, how about taking a very tiny first step? Between now and the seminar, just LOOK at why you're eating - whether you're really hungry, or maybe thirsty, or bored, angry, frustrated.. whatever. you might want to jot it down.

NONE of us got to the point where we required surgery because we have a healthy relationship with food - and in order to make this work, we have to change this... so, just looking at what we're doing is a first step.

and BTW, there are a few hoosiers posting here, notably JANE!!!! and i consider myself an honorary hoosier because my mom grew up outside of Fort Wayne and i still have a lot of relatives there.

05-12-2014, 12:16 PM
There was a doctor here in Canada who was interviewed for a local newspaper several years ago (obviously it really stuck with me). In this interview he had that in his opinion many morbidly obese people will never be able to lose weight without WLS. At the time this made me furious but as time went on I realized he was right. For whatever reason some of us just can't do it. It isn't great and no one's first choice. I wish I had been able to lose the weight on my own but I couldn't and didn't. I honestly felt that I had done everything I possibly could do on my own. Don't feel badly because you are in the same boat with a lot of people and you are ahead of the game by being able to make this admission and seek the help you need.

05-12-2014, 02:59 PM
Just wanted to add kayleystar that I have recently been certified to be a personal trainer and if there is anyway that I can help you with your gym routine I would be happy to work with you. It sounds like you have been going to the gym regularly which is GREAT because getting into that habit is really difficult. Send me a PM if you are interested.

This goes actually for anyone on this board. I'm happy to share my knowledge and be a coach and cheerleader for anyone who want help.

05-12-2014, 06:29 PM
Hi there Kayley-

I am too overweight also, actually I am obese. I never thought I would be considering weight loss surgery either but I am. I tend to be very hard on myself too. Hugs. :hug:

Take care.


05-21-2014, 08:05 PM
I want to thank you all for the kind words. I'm emotionally wrapping my head around the decision, and I'm coming to terms with it all. I'm very hard on myself (aren't we all just our worst enemy?), so it's been a tough couple of weeks.

After a trip to the E.R. on Monday night, I found out I have pneumonia (when it rains it pours). However that did NOT stop me from attending an informational seminar about weight loss surgery last night. I filled out a TON of intake paperwork, and they'll be calling me for an initial appointment to see if I'd be a candidate for the surgery soon.

I've been doing nothing but research since my doctor suggested I look into a surgical option, and I've narrowed it down to gastric bypass or the sleeve, although I'm leaning more towards the sleeve. So the research continues!

PS: Born and bred in SW Michigan, and about a year ago I transplanted to South Bend!

05-22-2014, 09:47 AM
this is NOT an easy decision, so take your time with it. You're doing your research, and you'll take ALL of it to your appointment with your doc [RIGHT????] so you can discuss it.

the sleeve is a restrictive procedure, and the bypass is restrictive plus malabsorption. There are great results for both [and some not-so-great results, and some complications]. Some people start with a restrictive procedure and later have the malabsorption part added later. Be sure to discuss that with your doc.

you're writing down all your Qs, right?

NOW, please take care of yourself. Much of my weight-related disasters started with pneumonia. Take ALL your antibiotics. And if you have some residual wheezing, go back to the doc. Sometimes there's some inflammation that keeps going, and you'll be coughing and gunk will come up even though there's no infection. the docs can give you some stuff to help clear all that out. that's REALLY important to do.