20-Somethings - I feel...
05-04-2014, 04:40 AM
Like an idiot tonight.
I ate tonight; I ate a lot of food. I knew I would feel like crap afterwards, but I ate anyway. And now I feel so stupid and SO guilty.
I shouldn't have done that.
So I especially hate myself tonight. I don't why I keep doing this to myself- I feel like a huge piece of ****.
I am a huge piece of ****.
05-04-2014, 05:23 AM
Maybe you are a little bit depressed and in a rut. Do you think it would help to find a counsellor.
Why do you think you felt the need to eat a lot of food? Is it because you didn't eat enough through the day? Or boredom? Or because you are feeling low anyway? Or just habit? Sometimes the food itself is why we tend to keep eating and eating. That's why i decided to quit sweet foods in the end.
Anyway try not to send yourself lots of negative messages or try to turn them into something positive and useful. Like motivating yourself to do good from now on. Perhaps you've started with too difficult a program. A lot of people do. And that's why they fail so quickly and so often.
But if your mood is low, that's another reason why its so hard to get started. Your hormones, seratonin, in this case, is working against your good intentions.
So don't be so hard on yourself. Try to let the negative thoughts go when they arise. Learn to calm yourself down and forgive yourself when you make a mistake. If you can do that you will suffer much less.
05-04-2014, 03:10 PM
You have to understand that you are the one that can control your thoughts about yourself. No one else can make you think these thoughts. So, with that being said, you are also the only one that can make yourself think great thoughts about you. And you can do this. If you keep giving yourself excuses to think and say bad things about yourself, there will no room and no time to say and think all of the good things you should be expressing.
In order to lose weight, you have to find respect and love for your body. You have to understand that the things you do for your body in order to lose weight and gain health must come from a place of love and a desire to nourish your body with good foods. In order to take really good care of yourself, you must look at your body as the place where your true self lives. So, just like you would clean your house and decorate it to please your tastes, you must evaluate your body the same way. You are able to move, to breathe on your own, to write, to think for yourself. There are many others that cannot move on their own, cannot care for themselves, that have mental disturbances so severe that they cannot trust their own thoughts. You are a person. An overweight person, yes, but a person nonetheless. Presuming you are otherwise in fair health, look at how you are spending your time.
Instead of moving around with your glorious body, you are ridiculing it. Instead of enjoying your power to think and express yourself, you are cutting yourself into tiny little pieces with your own sharp tongue in an attempt to justify the condition of your body. You should take some of your thoughts and the ability to use your hands, and write something positive about yourself.
You will not be able to change your appearance and your weight in a day. But you can start this journey. And the journey doesn't just involve cutting back on food and exercising. It means that you have to find the reasons that you comfort yourself with food, and the reasons you keep allowing yourself to do it. You may need professional help for this. You have to really find in yourself the love you truly deserve-from YOU, not others. It isn't about what others think about the size or shape of your body or your face. They don't matter. You do. Your motivation to change your relationship with your self image and your true image have to come from a gentle, respectful place.
I hope this doesn't come across as abrupt. I am really trying to let you know that you deserve to stop the guilt and shame about how you look and how much you weigh. You may have gotten to the weight you are, but there is no reason and rule that says you have to gain any more weight or stay at this weight unless you allow it. You can change it, but you have to find the true inspiration for changing it. I hope your inspiration would be that you care enough about your life, your health and your relationships with others to change. Make great changes, and tell yourself great things. You become what you focus on, and like the people you surround yourself with. So focus on changing your life and your view of your self, and surround yourself with people that love you just as you are.:hug:
05-04-2014, 03:54 PM
Like an idiot tonight.
So I especially hate myself tonight. I don't why I keep doing this to myself.
You actually answered your own question. If you really hate yourself, then the reason why you are doing this is a form of punishment BECAUSE you hate yourself. At least it is part of it. One mystery solved.
When I finally figured out how to love myself UNCONDITIONALLY, I was able to put the pieces together to get things in motion.
Just keep going and looking towards the future. A month, two months, three... it seems far away but it's just around the corner and you probably won't even remember that night.
Don't stress about these kinds of days and nights. They are, unfortunately, inevitable sometimes. So there is no reason to degrade yourself over them. The trick is not to let them dictate tomorrow.
05-26-2014, 03:44 PM
Some really good advice in here. I agree, I am very negative toward myself as well when I get off track or don't see progress. But I do much better when I focus on loving myself as is, and trying to see myself the way people who love me unconditionally do (without constantly fishing for compliments from them). We are way harder on ourselves than most people are, and we have to remember that we are human, we make mistakes. But what really matters is what you do the next day. Do you throw in the towel over one bad night? Or do you strive to take better care of your Amazing body and move forward? We all mess up sometimes, it takes a long time to learn our patterns and holes we fall into. Just remember where the hole is next time, and try not to fall in it (or get out of it faster next time!)