Living Maintenance - Maintainers Weekly Chat April 28 - May 4




BillBlueEyes
04-28-2014, 05:41 AM
Good grief! We went out with a group to look at plants and birds in the Massachusetts Berkshires wearing down vests under Gore-Tex shells. Wearing down at the end of April!!! It was the proper gear to keep us warm and dry but it felt a tad weird to dress for February when it was almost May.

Our wanderings took us over a short stretch of the Appalachian Trail climbing up a ridge with glorious views of fields, woodlands, and the foothills of the Berkshires. I've now walked short stretches in Tennessee, Massachusetts, and the last stretch climbing Mount Katahdin in Maine. It smites a bit to acknowledge that I'll never get around to walking the whole 2,200 miles. (But that would certainly solve the problem of the lingering few pounds, LOL.)


Mudpie
04-28-2014, 07:24 AM
Good grief! We went out with a group to look at plants and birds in the Massachusetts Berkshires wearing down vests under Gore-Tex shells. Wearing down at the end of April!!! It was the proper gear to keep us warm and dry but it felt a tad weird to dress for February when it was almost May.

Our wanderings took us over a short stretch of the Appalachian Trail climbing up a ridge with glorious views of fields, woodlands, and the foothills of the Berkshires. I've now walked short stretches in Tennessee, Massachusetts, and the last stretch climbing Mount Katahdin in Maine. It smites a bit to acknowledge that I'll never get around to walking the whole 2,200 miles. (But that would certainly solve the problem of the lingering few pounds, LOL.)

The Appalachian Trail sounds amazing Bill. Didn't Bill Bryson write about his own experience with it? And you have a similar trail on the west coast yes?

I am wearing fleece and the down liner with my shell this week. I DID throw away both pairs of winter boots though.

Busy, busy week this week. Kinda glad it's happening - I've been worried about work/money dwindling down.

Dagmar :beach:

ICUwishing
04-28-2014, 09:12 AM
I was listening to an interview this morning with the guy who runs Shepler's ferries between Mackinaw City/St Ignace and Mackinaw Island. He said the family has run the business since the 40's and they have NEVER seen ice like this. They are currently running only a single boat from St. Ignace only, because the ice in the straits is still 3 FEET thick. Good grief! :dizzy:

DS's show choir group returned from the competition in Washington DC with Gold in both vocal jazz and show choir. He had a fabulous time - they saw the National Cathedral (sang for the tour guide and made him cry), the museum of natural history, the national Zoo (complete with panda), the night tour of the monuments, and a tour of Gettysburg. On the bus coming and going he read "White Fang" and now declares himself a Jack London fan. I'm sure that returning to school today will be a big letdown. :lol:


alinnell
04-28-2014, 10:20 AM
Your hike sounds like it was beautiful, Bill.

We do have the Pacific Crest trail on the west coast. Part of it runs through the mountains near here. I hear it is a beautiful trial going from Mexico to Canada.

Becky, that is so cool your son's choir made gold (and made the tour guide cry)! Congrats to him!

Both days of golf got cancelled here this weekend due to high winds. It wasn't nearly as windy yesterday but it was gusty enough to have made golfing unbearable. And it was much cooler than usual. These temperatures are more like February.

So sad about the tornados in the midwest.

traveling michele
04-28-2014, 11:36 AM
Brrrr... to some of you. I won't mention our beautiful weather today and our heat wave coming later this week.

Yes, Allison... the tornadoes are horrific.

Last week with dh until he leaves again (on Friday). We are having tree work done today so he is at home.

I ordered myself and dh the UP24 on Allison and Shannon's advice. They are due to be delivered today so hopefully I'll be playing with them tonight.

CalCounter1003
04-28-2014, 06:10 PM
It is already brutally hot here, which I guess since it's almost May that is normal. But the first day of the brutally hot you always are shocked. Says 91 on weather app but when I got in my car after school it said 96. Speaking of my car, I got a new Prius! Wow, auto correct did an interesting change on Prius, or maybe I made a typo. Had to fix that!

Anyway, like Dagmar said I am amazed at the new features in a new car.
Haven't quite figured out how to read the display but enjoying the drive. I like the Bluetooth connection to phone, very cool. Very excited to see how little gas I have to buy!

Michele, that's great on the up24, I use the Fitbit and I got my DS one for Xmas but his stopped working and was the recalled so they sent him a check and I don't think he has replaced it yet so I may suggest that to him.

Today was the first day back at school after spring break. Seniors are done, not really, but in their mind they are. Some only have 7 days because they have a lot of Ap exams and they just take the exam and not go to class. We get out end of May so this will fly by. Two people asked me if I lost weight over the break. Nope, maintained!!!!! So excited I've maintained since 2/21. I know, not long, but I have the tools and I feel so good I know I can do it. I will post a one year maintenance thread next year!

neurodoc
04-28-2014, 10:57 PM
Hi CalCounter, I love my Prius V. I have a 2013 and enjoy its nifty bells and whistles, including the Bluetooth connection to my cell's data. Best part is seeing the mileage hovering around 40 (I know the regular Prius does significantly better than that, but I have 3 kids).

And, for those commenting on Bill's hike today, I would like to throw in my own humblebrag: only 3.4 miles today, but I did it in HIGH HEELS, with a lot of it on pavement. Yes my feet are killing me :>)

Mudpie
04-29-2014, 06:21 AM
I think we are having all of our "April showers" this week. Rain all week long thru til Sunday. And still very cold - highs are in the low teens. BLEAGH.

:tired: of :brr:

I think I'm on one of those upswings in my business that happens pretty much overnight. It's all temporary work though - I'm still hoping for 3-5 permanent clients - but I'll have to take the temp work. Somehow it all works out.

Dagmar :beach: :rain:

saef
04-29-2014, 08:10 AM
Thank goodness the heat is on this morning. We're having temperatures in the low 40s overnight. It's supposed to be a rainy gray week.

Spent all of Sunday with a friend and his wife, who live near Old Saybrook in CT. I may have mentioned that his wife just received a diagnosis of an aggressive lung cancer. She's already been on a breathing apparatus for several years now because her lungs were compromised by pneumonia. She started radiation yesterday. I stayed there till 8 PM, talking with them (during that time, she went off & took several naps) then after dinner, checked into a nearby B&B, a wonderful low-ceilinged room with a fireplace, with uneven floorboards, no two of them exactly the same length -- the house was built in 1746. I went to sleep immediately. A house wren woke me up the next morning before the alarm. The commute to my CT office the next morning was simply awful -- I was on the road for 2 hrs & 15 mins, just because of the traffic.

I am making a project out of reaching out to friends whom I've lost contact with while working so much.

But I have five meetings today and two things due for writing. At least the day ends with a trip to my therapist. Though he's going to want a sizeable check today for sessions since the start of the year, and it's all on me, as my deductible didn't kick in till this month.

Shannon in ATL
04-29-2014, 01:16 PM
My greenhouse was turned over in the wind last night, but everything else came through safe. A house near my parents lost the roof, but no one was hurt. Here's hoping we weather tonight's storms as well.

traveling michele
04-29-2014, 01:26 PM
Oh my Shannon.... do stay safe.... all around.

Saef-- your project to reach out to friends sounds wonderful.
I'm going to be out big bucks myself for dd's therapist. Our insurance decided they no longer covered it, but we can pay out of pocket, and get partially reimbursed. The doctor's billing didn't seem to realize what was going on even though I've been communicating with them so I've only been paying a co-pay. I cringe to think what my bill will be.

ICUwishing
04-29-2014, 02:26 PM
Shannon - good luck and stay safe! It sounds like you have a lot of company watching the skies today and tonight.

saef, kudos for doing what many people regret not doing because they waited too long. I'm guilty and need to learn from your good example.

Michele, it seems like an awful lot of people are being blindsided by insurance changes. :(

Dagmar, you're absolutely right - it does all work out. I hope some of the temp work becomes permanent clients!

DH gone again. He thinks he has about two weeks left. Meanwhile, I have to figure out what it's going to take to motivate DS to up his game on his grades. He's a totally different personality from either me or my husband - bribery, removal of privileges, recognition, hands off all have been tried and been equally useless. Maddening! :bomb:

silverbirch
04-29-2014, 04:00 PM
DH gone again. He thinks he has about two weeks left. Meanwhile, I have to figure out what it's going to take to motivate DS to up his game on his grades. He's a totally different personality from either me or my husband - bribery, removal of priveleges, recognition, hands off all have been tried and been equally useless. Maddening! :bomb:

Becky, have you tried, "Just do it!" and walking off??

Megan1982
04-29-2014, 04:03 PM
Hi all,

Work has been pretty busy but in a good way. I've been out playing with birds this week again, though we're inside due to the thunderstorms right now. The upside is we're hoping the front brings more birds. I'm going to have a very unpleasant conference call Thursday afternoon, and am steeling myself. I'm trying to not think about it too much because it will just ruin my mood for days if I let it.

I finished my last test for my course on Sunday morning so that I could go "play" at my friend's yard party Sunday afternoon. I saw two friends there who are moving to Trinidad and am glad I made it to say goodbye. I will be doing more studying and course work in the near future but it was so nice last night not to have studying or choral rehearsal to go to. I took the dog for a long walk, made hummus, homemade buttermilk ranch, and had an actual civilized conversation with my BF. (Expose: what maintainers do in their spare time: extra workouts and healthy food prep.) :dizzy:

Saef, I like your resolution to get in touch with old friends. I've resolved something similar for the summer, that I won't let little things (like "I need to clean the house") keep me from taking up spontaneous invites from friends. Your day with them and your b&b sound lovely.

Shannon, are you guys doing ok up there? These storms are nasty. I heard a tornado touched down about 15 miles from here, but that is unconfirmed.

Dagmar, upswings are good. I hope these temporary jobs bring some more full-time clients for you.

Becky, congrats to your DS's choral group! What an honor. GL getting grades up. Sounds like you've tried all the usual tricks.

I've read Bill Bryson's "A Walk in the Woods." I enjoy his books and found it entertaining, but as I recall, he didn't finish the trail. "Becoming Odyssa" by Jennifer Davis is a really good autobiography by a woman hiking the Appalachian trail who later set the speed record for a woman on the trail. "Wild" by Cheryl Strayed is her autobiography about hiking the Pacific Coast trail. It's a good book but her life isn't as idyllic as Jennifer Davis's and she goes into hiking from a very different place. I've hiked small portions of the trail in NH and PA with my dad, who has hiked longer stretches throughout his life and I think would love to do the whole thing if he didn't have a job and his knees would let him. I think I love the idea of hiking the trail, but I'd probably find it harder than I thought and quit. :p

ICUwishing
04-29-2014, 04:06 PM
silver, yes. I've run the gamut from the simple "Git 'er done!" to long lectures about the quality of the grades is a significant portion of the quality of future opportunities, to checking planners and homework every night, to teacher emails/phone calls and meetings, threatening to cut him from show choir next year, threatening to withold permission to take driver's training ... none of it works for more than a week or two. Some folks have kindly suggested that I don't kill him for at least one more year - that just because he's huge it doesn't mean he's not wildly immature. Ow, my head.

silverbirch
04-29-2014, 04:14 PM
Difficult. The DB here is upstairs unable to write a five line poem involving metaphor. It is made more difficult by having 'about someone in the class' as the subject. For heaven's sake.

Love and food and going to sleep on time, then. Plus lots of chilling That's my next suggestion. Even when one so huge has just eaten a massive meal there is always a tiny corner to be filled. And sleep permits even more growth. (BTW, he must be tired after the tour.)

Megan said it so well: GL. I'm thinking of you as I go off upstairs to offer support.

JayEll
04-29-2014, 04:23 PM
"who later set the speed record for a woman on the trail."

Am I the only one who finds this idea a little insane? When did hiking the Appalachian Trail become a competitive sport? Whatever happened to simply enjoying being in nature?

Oh well.

saef, sorry about the friend who has decided to undergo radiation therapy. That is no picnic, and I doubt it will gain her much. The place you stayed sounds wonderful, though.

The charges for my hospital stay and treatment due to the dog bite have come through. Had I not had insurance, the cost would have been over $20,000. But I do have insurance, and so my cost is $147.

People think they don't need health insurance until something like this happens.

BillBlueEyes
04-29-2014, 04:33 PM
Sending congrats to Becky's DS for his choral group's performances and supportive thoughts to Becky for that head-banging part of parenting. My DS is now 20 years past that age and is a contributing member of society. There were moments when such seemed in doubt.

I have yet-another-eating-opportunity this evening at a reception where the food will be good enough but the atmosphere will magically make me want to consume double portions as if it were the greatest meal on earth. Gotta remember: catered = 'good enough' - it's not gourmet. Obviously I'm trying to convince someone here about that. Perhaps all caps: IT'S JUST GOOD ENOUGH - so you don't have to over eat.

My contribution to planet earth last night was to cut three foot sections from a roll of chicken wire for DW to make cages to protect some newly planted's from local voracious rabbits. It's not legal here in the city to blast them with shotguns as is the want of all the gentle gardeners who face them.

alinnell
04-29-2014, 04:51 PM
The charges for my hospital stay and treatment due to the dog bite have come through. Had I not had insurance, the cost would have been over $20,000. But I do have insurance, and so my cost is $147.

Having worked for many years in a hospital billing office I know that those without insurance can often request the same or similar discounts offered to insurers. Quite frankly the overcharges that hospitals get away with is horrific.

JayEll
04-29-2014, 06:31 PM
Yes, alinnell, so true. I did ask for a discount once, way back, for another hospitalization, and the hospital gave it to me.

Mudpie
04-29-2014, 07:53 PM
All Canadians used to be covered by the federal health plan and everyone over 21 who worked contributed into it quarterly, based on our income. Now that system has been scrapped and those with money get faster and more varied treatment by going to private clinics. The rest of us get basic stuff looked after and most of it is paid for by provincial plans. Some is not. I always ask though I doubt I could avoid certain things if they cost a lot - like having my finger stitched and having my tonsils out. Not DIY projects certainly.

I really envy those people who have dental and medical plans. I have never worked for any corporate or government department so never have had any kind of coverage for anything. There are a lot of things I would have had attended to had I the money or even partial help for payment.

Good thing I look after my health.

Dagmar :dizzy:

canadjineh
04-29-2014, 08:02 PM
All Canadians used to be covered by the federal health plan and everyone over 21 who worked contributed into it quarterly, based on our income. Now that system has been scrapped and those with money get faster and more varied treatment by going to private clinics. The rest of us get basic stuff looked after and most of it is paid for by provincial plans. Some is not. I always ask though I doubt I could avoid certain things if they cost a lot - like having my finger stitched and having my tonsils out. Not DIY projects certainly.

I really envy those people who have dental and medical plans. I have never worked for any corporate or government department so never have had any kind of coverage for anything. There are a lot of things I would have had attended to had I the money or even partial help for payment.

Good thing I look after my health.

Dagmar :dizzy:

I don't know... We here in BC still contribute monthly according to income (or you can pay quarterly or yearly if you wish) for BC Medical. Of course there are a few clinics around that are private and if you decide you need your MRI tomorrow - you can get it for a price. Since I moved out of the house at 18 I haven't had a dental or optometric plan, but I haven't need one either, and I'm 50 now. My hubby works for himself and has never had dental or optometric either. We just pay for our dental cleaning and treatment and my contact lenses & eye health apptmts out of pocket. If you are on gov't assistance, you can get the basics done. If either of us need major dental we will head to Mexico and get it there - we have relatives on both sides with great experiences doing this. All I can say is I'm glad that if I had a heart attack tomorrow, I wouldn't have to mortgage my house and declare bankruptcy just to stay in the hospital and get treatment. (My sis-in law is married to an American; they live in Maryland and she had to have some expensive cancer surgery & treatment done a few years ago. Whoo boy, did I feel for them!)

BTW, it is sunny & 21C here and headed to 24 degrees by Thursday - Home of the Northernmost extension of the Sonoran Desert.... Well... ok, I'm slightly north of Osoyoos, but not by much, sorry to rub it in Mudpie ;)

CalCounter1003
04-29-2014, 08:09 PM
Becky, as a high school teacher I can tell you, that is the same with many boys. One thing that I have heard of working is to take him on a college tour. The official tour. There he will hear from the tour guide, a student, what is required to get in. Pick a school that is fun, like your state school with good football or BB or whatever he likes and pick a school that is more academic. If you can't go before school is out, then go early in the summer. If you do too many, he will become bored, but if you just do a couple that are places he likes, it is usually motivating. It might not work, but worth a try. If he's a rebel, don't take him where you guys went!

I can't tell you how many former boys I have taught that I either run into, or hear from, or hear about, many years later who graduated college and have great careers. Kids that I thought would flunk out the first year in college! I teach mostly boys since I teach CS so the few girls I teach are always top of the class so I don't have experience with girls who are not motivated.

ICUwishing
04-29-2014, 09:16 PM
Thank you all for the kind support! :grouphug: DS14 is a magnificent human - he really is. He's musical, smart, funny, twisted, compassionate, "carefully adventurous" and I just want to make sure he doesn't eliminate himself from any of the options he could have with bone-headed screw-ups, like digging a grade point average hole that he can't climb back out of in 3 years. CalCounter, the early tours might be a very good idea. ;)

CalCounter1003
04-30-2014, 07:28 AM
Becky, if he is musical then you can visit a college with a music program. Musical people are usually good in comp sci, so see if his HS offers a comp sci programming class. I have seen many kids who didn't care about grades discover they love programming and then do better in their classes.
Sorry, teacher hat on for a moment there! Just ignore whatever advise I give! Good luck!

I am Sooooo tired this morning! It's just the third day back after spring break and I'm more tired than before the break! I am however very excited to drive to work in the new car!

Mudpie
04-30-2014, 11:07 AM
Canadjineh We are planning on retiring to either Kelowna, Osoyoos, or Kamloops, all due to weather and living cost. I've been to Kelowna so far and it was gorgeous, particularly the orchards and mountains ringing the town. I went in August so the weather was hot but beautiful.

Dagmar :love: the :sunny: weather

saef
04-30-2014, 12:25 PM
Becky, why do I think you'd be really cool (and also understanding) to have as a mom? In the great lottery of life, your son could've drawn a lot worse.

I've got tight, painful shoulders after an epic fail with the WebEx application, which enables one to run a meeting with a video and to share PowerPoint slide decks. This was a meeting that about 15 people attended, including a fellow manager. Our conference room was co-opted, another that I tried to quickly reserve was snatched out from under me, and I ended up canceling in a flurry of failed emails. They had to follow the PowerPoint deck manually on their desktops while listening to me talk.

So now I'm writing a document on deadline and looking out onto hard-falling rain. They say four inches of rain over two days. Home in NY, our floodwall isn't up yet, of course -- we're taking contractors' bids -- but we are sandbagged. So I'll try not to think about that and focus on the job.

silverbirch
04-30-2014, 12:49 PM
Okanagan! I've just done some work on 'health and wellness' for a client there. From this distance (!), it seems like an interesting and lively place. Gets cold in the valley in the winter, doesn't it? And good for skiing?

Mudpie
04-30-2014, 04:38 PM
Okanagan! I've just done some work on 'health and wellness' for a client there. From this distance (!), it seems like an interesting and lively place. Gets cold in the valley in the winter, doesn't it? And good for skiing?

Cold - WHAT??? In Canada??? :rofl: Seriously though apparently the closest we get to a "desert" in this country is Osoyoos. Never been there but on the realtor's map it looks like a big bedroom community. I want a bit more of a cultural hub (with an airport) and I visited Kelowna and found it very nice indeed. There is skiing in BC - Whistler I think mainly - but obviously I'm not in any way a skiier and don't know squat about it. :lol:

Hope to get there when I'm about 67 or so - 10 more years of slogging through the Ontario winter. :faint:

Dagmar :beach:

alinnell
04-30-2014, 04:56 PM
Dagmar~one of the people I "know" on my Lab board chat board told a story of her dog getting bitten by a coyote up there in Ontario. I'm not sure exactly where she lives but calls it Tri Cities. Kind of scary. Her dog had to have a bunch of stitches.

Mudpie
04-30-2014, 05:19 PM
Dagmar~one of the people I "know" on my Lab board chat board told a story of her dog getting bitten by a coyote up there in Ontario. I'm not sure exactly where she lives but calls it Tri Cities. Kind of scary. Her dog had to have a bunch of stitches.

Kitchener, Waterloo, and Cambridge are the Tri-Cities. I had to Google it :o

We have coyotes here in Toronto. There was a big to-do when one took up residence in a small local ravine (one block from my former family home) and apparently snacked on a couple of chihuahuas that someone had left in their backyard.

I had the poodle with me when I saw the coyote on a quite remote strip of beach which is hard to access. I take some of the dogs there solo when I am dogsitting them - it's a treat for us. The coyote, when he/she spotted us, went very quickly up the hillside and then stood there with head down, waiting for us to pass by. I grabbed the poodle and leashed her so she wouldn't spoil the moment. We walked past the coyote on the hill and it then came down and continued on its way along the shore. It was like someone lifted a curtain and gave me a brief glimpse into another world. Magical.

Dagmar :dizzy:

canadjineh
05-01-2014, 01:14 PM
Cold - WHAT??? In Canada??? :rofl: Seriously though apparently the closest we get to a "desert" in this country is Osoyoos. Never been there but on the realtor's map it looks like a big bedroom community. I want a bit more of a cultural hub (with an airport) and I visited Kelowna and found it very nice indeed. There is skiing in BC - Whistler I think mainly - but obviously I'm not in any way a skiier and don't know squat about it. :lol:

Hope to get there when I'm about 67 or so - 10 more years of slogging through the Ontario winter. :faint:

Dagmar :beach:

Okanagan! I've just done some work on 'health and wellness' for a client there. From this distance (!), it seems like an interesting and lively place. Gets cold in the valley in the winter, doesn't it? And good for skiing?

Dagmar~one of the people I "know" on my Lab board chat board told a story of her dog getting bitten by a coyote up there in Ontario. I'm not sure exactly where she lives but calls it Tri Cities. Kind of scary. Her dog had to have a bunch of stitches.

Osoyoos is a bit far to be a bedroom community, but it is a fave of retirees who don't want to head over the US border due to health costs. Winter temps, etc: https://weatherspark.com/averages/28083/Osoyoos-British-Columbia-Canada Frommer's and several other sites say it's the Northernmost extension of the Sonoran Desert, but Western Living magazine says that's a misconception, for what it's worth. http://www.westernlivingmagazine.com/T/0713.Osoyoos-Getaway-Guide-Where-to-Eat-Stay-Play.html

Silverbirch - the Okanagan IS an interesting and lively place and the more northern part of the valley gets lots of snow in the mountains but decent winter temperatures: www.skisilverstar.com and www.bigwhite.com and www.apexresort.com and www.revelstokemountainresort.com and www.sunpeaksresort.com
I live in daytrip distance of all these great places!! My DH & I spent our anniversary (in March) at Sun Peaks this year.
These resorts are summer/winter with mountain biking, golf, alpine hiking, wine festivals, and all the nordic & downhill stuff.
Kelowna is more a cultural centre as it is the biggest town in the valley... lots of theatre, a very talented symphony, and we have lots of very big name rock and country bands etc, come and play in the arenas. South Okanagan Events Centre in Penticton is a biggie - purpose built for large events. Quite a few NHL stars also have vacation homes for the off season on some of the local lakes (and a few Hollywood people too from what I have heard, although those ones may only be rumours, lol)

allinall: There's lots of 'urban' wildlife in our country... My place is not so urban and we have coyotes and deer come through often; we once had a young black bear knock over our BBQ on the patio while we were asleep one night. Only saw 3 bears on the property in 10 years though, since there is a lot of 'wild' area surrounding us - they mainly stay to themselves.

You all are welcome to visit &/or retire here :D
Liana

bargoo
05-01-2014, 06:47 PM
Thank goodness the heat is on this morning. We're having temperatures in the low 40s overnight. It's supposed to be a rainy gray week.

Spent all of Sunday with a friend and his wife, who live near Old Saybrook in CT. I may have mentioned that his wife just received a diagnosis of an aggressive lung cancer. She's already been on a breathing apparatus for several years now because her lungs were compromised by pneumonia. She started radiation yesterday. I stayed there till 8 PM, talking with them (during that time, she went off & took several naps) then after dinner, checked into a nearby B&B, a wonderful low-ceilinged room with a fireplace, with uneven floorboards, no two of them exactly the same length -- the house was built in 1746. I went to sleep immediately. A house wren woke me up the next morning before the alarm. The commute to my CT office the next morning was simply awful -- I was on the road for 2 hrs & 15 mins, just because of the traffic.

I am making a project out of reaching out to friends whom I've lost contact with while working so much.

But I have five meetings today and two things due for writing. At least the day ends with a trip to my therapist. Though he's going to want a sizeable check today for sessions since the start of the year, and it's all on me, as my deductible didn't kick in till this month.

Congratulations on remembering old friends. I am especially proud of you for befriending your friends who has cancer, many people are afraid of those with cancer,not necessary, it is not catching, just be yourself

bargoo
05-01-2014, 07:01 PM
I think most people just don't know what to say.I know I don't but I prefer people to be normal around me.

silverbirch
05-02-2014, 04:51 AM
You all are welcome to visit &/or retire here :D


Liana, thanks for the invitation! That would be lovely. I'd like to have a bit more cross-country skiing in my life.

ICUwishing
05-02-2014, 09:16 AM
bargoo, thanks for checking in - it's good to see you! How goes the battle?

Loving the discussion on Canadian locales - have made notes for future trips!

On the coyote front, we occasionally hear them at night. Within the confines of our yard, we've spotted red fox, red-tailed hawks, DS claims a peregrine, a nesting pair of sandhill cranes, multiple rattlesnakes, lots of leopard (or grass) frogs, plenty of harmless species of snakes, and of course the $%^&* deer. For the most part, I think we're all sharing the space pretty well. :lol:

DS tested and passed for his yellow belt in Hapkido last night. He's also made significant effort to deal with his grades and is in close contact with his teachers. He has to decide this weekend if he wants to take the SAT in June - it's his last opportunity to see it with zero pressure since 9th grade is the last year for the program he's in. I'll give him props - he is seriously considering it even though it means half a precious Saturday.

I am just happy to have made it to Friday. DH should have one more week in KY after this. I can keep most of the balls in the air by myself, but it's challenging and there's no downtime. Hats off to the single parents! I am incredibly fortunate to be good friends with the parents of Alex's best buddies - we are truly a village!

Shannon in ATL
05-02-2014, 09:31 AM
Becky - I'm also happy to have made it to Friday. High five to DS on his yellow belt!

Liana - I'm in. Sounds lovely. :)

Bargoo - good to hear from you.

saef
05-02-2014, 10:24 AM
I think most people just don't know what to say.I know I don't but I prefer people to be normal around me.

Bargoo, good to hear from you. Yes, we talked about their changing churches inopportunely, and having to adapt to a new minister and a congregation where they don't know anyone. And my job. And whether they'll rent a place on the Cape. And the migration of ospreys and owls in the salt marsh that their house overlooks. And daily walks and tai chi. And massages. And other topics, too.

And I talked with them a lot about my experience of caring for my father through his losing battle with cancer. They had a lot of questions for me. I answered completely truthfully, even about the ugly stuff, like my father's despair and anger, my mother's floundering and living in denial, my own bouts of remoteness and relief whenever I got to leave the house to run an errand, and even that greedy Russian Orthodox priest whom we had to summon, to try to bring him comfort -- he who'd been agnostic for decades.

I felt like I had to speak from the heart. People want the truth at such times, at least about others' experiences.

They're still in that early phase of incredulity: Did I really hear that diagnosis right? Is this really happening? You mean this can happen to ME, not just other people? Is this REALLY real? Will I wake up tomorrow & find out it's all been a mistake?

I have vowed to call my friends in Albany by the end of today and talk. I will try to reach them all weekend. I haven't spoken with them in months. There is a lot to catch up on.

bargoo
05-02-2014, 01:17 PM
Bargoo, good to hear from you. Yes, we talked about their changing churches inopportunely, and having to adapt to a new minister and a congregation where they don't know anyone. And my job. And whether they'll rent a place on the Cape. And the migration of ospreys and owls in the salt marsh that their house overlooks. And daily walks and tai chi. And massages. And other topics, too.

And I talked with them a lot about my experience of caring for my father through his losing battle with cancer. They had a lot of questions for me. I answered completely truthfully, even about the ugly stuff, like my father's despair and anger, my mother's floundering and living in denial, my own bouts of remoteness and relief whenever I got to leave the house to run an errand, and even that greedy Russian Orthodox priest whom we had to summon, to try to bring him comfort -- he who'd been agnostic for decades.

I felt like I had to speak from the heart. People want the truth at such times, at least about others' experiences.

They're still in that early phase of incredulity: Did I really hear that diagnosis right? Is this really happening? You mean this can happen to ME, not just other people? Is this REALLY real? Will I wake up tomorrow & find out it's all been a mistake?

I have vowed to call my friends in Albany by the end of today and talk. I will try to reach them all weekend. I haven't spoken with them in months. There is a lot to catch up on.

I think you did everything just right. I have often wished I could read patients minds when they got the news. When they told me me, I sat there very calmy and nodded my head now and then but I was actually thinking,He is actually telling me I have cancer and there was a certain amount of incredubility in it. Sort of an "is this really happenintg?"

Just continue to be the good friend that you are and your friend will appreciate it.