Just to give you a background. My names Natalie, 25, 5ft 3 and 27st. Iv joined this site out of desperation. I need help girls, I hate how I look, I keep kidding myself that im comfortable with my weight but im not.
Iv not always been fat. I started gaining weight around 18, fast forward 7 years and im an absolute blob. I have such a horrible relationship with food and I dont know what to do.
Please help me
04-17-2014, 05:18 PM
Hi Natalie. I am not going to kid you, changing your life around to be more healthy is quite hard work. Personal experience talking here. Personally I would have a look around to see what kind of diet suits your lifestyle/personality. I opted for a shake diet after finding that the "slimfast" diet didn't really do it for me. (the meals screw me up and it seems that my body reacts really horribly towards any sort of carbs) I am on the Cambridge Diet and I am loving it (I live on £6 worth of sachets a day, which are 3 sachets). The reason for the liquid diet is because I am like you and my relationship was horrible although it has improved much over the last years. I've tried so many different diets and it took me a long time finding a diet that suited me and that I didn't quit on. some swear by counting calories, some by the atkins diet , slimming world , lighter life etc. I wish you the best of luck and you've made one very important step sofar, joining this forum. It does make all the difference sharing your struggle and seeing that you aren't the only one out there that has a weight problem. So many nice people here that are so encouraging and experts from all walks of life.
04-17-2014, 06:05 PM
I just cant see an end in sight at the moment. Im in a horrible vicious cycle, I just know its going to get worse
04-17-2014, 08:20 PM
Natalie, good for you for joining this site. The people here are very supportive and have a wealth of cumulative experience. My advice is to find a group or an ongoing thread with regulars posting frequently. There are groups of 20-somethings and of people with varying amounts to lose; there are also groups that use different strategies like calorie counting. I didn't really "connect" here until I found a few groups to stick with, and then I appreciated the high level of support available here. Everyone on this site is rooting for you. The danger is receiving more advice than you can sort through :)
PS - I felt entitled to respond, as a former Norwich resident, although I live in the US now.
04-17-2014, 08:50 PM
The first step is realising that you have a problem. The second is figuring out what you're going to do about it. The third is doing it. Last, is never giving up.
Take a look around the forum, particularly the Goal! (http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/goal-199/) forum where people who have been successful post their stories (mine (http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/goal/294111-i-made.html) is there too!). I've been where you are, I tried numerous times until I found the strength and motivation to move forward and complete my goal.
There are many different ways you can do it. You can join a support group like Weight Watchers, follow a specific plan or do what I did and eat more vege's and make the only takeaways Subway or Pita Pit. I calorie counted for a little while, which I recommend because it helps to realise what's really going into the body. I started running too (see my sig). First it was walking for a few months and gradually adding run laps.
The one thing I will say to you and that I know you really need to hear is: I regard my weight loss experience, especially the first 6 months, to be the most difficult thing I've done in my life. It's not going to be easy, but you will find your confidence growing at every goal that's met and you'll feel better about yourself, life and the future.
-This is an excellent group that creates a new thread monthly: (Month) Weight Loss Challenge (http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/chicks-up-challenge/294256-april-weight-loss-challenge.html)
-Here's another support group: 5lbs Challenge (#) (http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/chicks-up-challenge/294267-5-lb-challenge-254-a.html)
-And another: 2% body weight challenge (http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/chicks-up-challenge/294872-2-body-weight-challenge-29-a.html)
-Here's a forum that might help: Weight Loss Support (http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/weight-loss-support-13/)
04-17-2014, 09:04 PM
Hi Natalie! I am not a UK chick, but I had to respond to your post. I have been at a loss many times before with my unhealthy relationship with food. I have come to realize that I am was able to lose weight so many times and then regain it just as quickly because I am addicted to food. Specifically, foods that have a high amount of refined sugar and carbs in them. Pasta, bread, all baked goods pretty much, ice cream, etcetera. I have tried low carb and South Beach before. Success, but regained. Calorie counting worked. Pretty much everything worked but I always regained because I could not wait to go back to my favorite way of eating. Mostly bingeing on my faves. I would even just binge on pretzels with peanut butter until I was sick. I loved to eat white bread with peanut butter on it and drink it with a huge glass of milk. One piece wasn't good enough-it was usually 4-6 pieces of bread when it was over. A whole sack of Oreos, huge bowls of noodles, etc. Carbs? Sugar? I'm there!
Why am I telling you this? I am convinced that I binge and have disordered eating due to some emotional issues and an addiction to these particular foods. It has been 7 days since I started again on this journey. No binges so far. Totally in control. No hunger. No pervasive thoughts that I haven't been able to squash. What is different this time?
I am only eating foods that are not heavily processed. Very little sugar. No wheat. No breads, no pastas. The only grains I have eaten this week are 1/8th to 1/4 cup of steel cut oats and 1 serving of quinoa at dinnertime. I am eating fruits, vegetables, some beans, meats, and some dairy. I FEEL GREAT! I am not hungry, and I am energized. I am not trying to tell you how to eat. Not at all. But I am telling you there is hope for you. You have to do some investigating to find out what is really behind the unhealthy relationship with food. Something will work for you. You just have to find what it is. Not everyone has a problem with the foods that I do. Everyone is different. My goal this time around is to learn how to see food as fuel, not an emotional pacifier or as a fix for my addictive urges. So far, so good. I know that 1 week in is not a lot of time, but my outlook this time is right. You have to get your heart and mind in the right place.There is lots of support on this site that can help you do that, even if you have to search around in other forums. Feel free to message me if you need to talk!
04-19-2014, 01:11 PM
Welcome Natalie, first off you deserve a hug:hug: The first step is making the decision. I prevaricated for many years. I simply avoided the issue 'til one day last September, when something just made me so embarrassed I couldn't dance around it anymore, and even though I'm twice your age (please don't wait that long, you deserve better) I've been fairly successful so far;) It's only difficult for the first few weeks, at least as a calorie counter, once you see the weight coming off, it feels so fantastic:carrot:
One inspiration I found in the early days of my diet was watching old episodes of Supersize vs. Superskinny. It was (and occasionally still is) very helpful for me. There are loads of episodes on 4od, and also on youtube.
Best of Luck,
04-20-2014, 12:43 PM
hullo and welcome. i'm relatively new here and it's a great place to be.
i know it looks bleak now - i've been fat since i was 21. for over 11 years! and it's taken me this long to figure out why. however, even though i'm restarting for the 500th time, it's ok. every little step matters.
as someone said - be gentle with yourself, the way a good friend would be towards you. nothing will change over night, and that ok. you'll have good days and sometimes it'll feel like nothing works. just remember, as with anything in life, it takes hard work and trying, even when it seems hard, is the point.
so here a big hug. we're all on the same journey with you and will be there cheering you on when you succeed and motivating you even when you stumble.
05-02-2014, 04:55 AM
Hi natalie, i'm not a brit either but my mother is.
Please become a regular on my daily fruit and veggie thread as well as one of the other support threads.
We all need to be eating more fruit and veg and i know how hard it is to do that. Since i started four months ago, i have gradually improved the quality of my diet and now i'm eating tons of fruit and veg every day. And loving them.
One of the things i did to help me was to decide to quit eating sweets. I am committed to my no sweets rule and because i know how drastic that is and feels, i have some special out clauses which are times when i think it is not risky to eat them and then i can enjoy them without guilt.
I do not really have problem with other carb foods although i have overeaten them a lot as well. Mine is and was always primarily about sweets. When i'm not eating sweets, i can be moderate about other things. I was a binger. Its over. no more. I'm eating now i want to eat forever and at some stage on your diet you will have to work towards those sorts of permanent changes too. I haven't been able to do sweets in moderation. I've also been through all the emotional stuff with food but i've got past most of it and now know what to do when problems arise. That's not to say i don't ever have to contend with cravings. When stressed they do still occur. When bored, i still want to eat unnecessarily.
Fruit and veg have to become the centre of a healthy slim persons diet. I like them when i'm not eating sweets and when i'm eating sweets, i don't want to eat them, can't make myself cook them. When i'm eating sweets, i also don't want to cook much at all. Now i'm enjoy it more and more.
A lot of people fail on their diets because they restrict their calories too much and leave no pleasures left. We have to eat. We need food. And need to try to make it enjoyable. So if you don't join in on my veggie thread, at least don't get into the trap of trying to starve yourself.
05-19-2014, 01:51 PM
Please please dont despair!! You are beautiful and amazing, and you have made the first step on a difficult journey and that is to decide you want to make a change for your own self, and asking for help and support !!! That is remarkable girl!!! Draw a line in the sand ... you can say to yourself today .. is the first day of the rest of my life and I am going to take control over what changes I want to make!! The best best thing is to set yourself some goals. And write them down... and then pin them up so you can see them!!! I had to go through this journey myself ... this time last year I was planning a wedding, had a whole life planned out ahead and then suddenly that ALLL blew up in my face .. I ended up gaining so much weight and feeling the lowest about myself and my life ... but like you Natalie, I said, I dont want this for my life, I want something different, so with a lot of help and support started to make changes. I got on the Project 10 Challenge, losing weight 10 pounds at a time, and all sorts of fun and supportive people and now I pay it forward challenging everyone I know to make a change in their life.... If you are open to hearing more about it, message me, and I can tell you all about my experience and my story!!! It changed my life, my perspective about life and about me and my body ... and got RESULTS! Good luck with everything, but if you would like to chat more send me a message or email :) and for now here are some BIG HUUUGGS!!! xxxxxxxxxx
05-21-2014, 08:17 AM
Hi Natalie. I've been thinking about your post since reading it a few days ago. I feel so sorry for you and where you are at, I have been there too and getting out of that place is so very hard. My relationship with food was very problematic, and still is sometimes, but you can move to better place with it.
Maybe you need to start feeling better about yourself. Firstly, you are not "a blob", but a girl with a food problem. I pretended for many years that my weight didn't matter, that I didn't like clothes. In fact I'd go into Evans buy a pair of jeans or top or whatever without trying it on. If I had to try it on (my mum made me!) I'd often end up crying at what I'd let myself become. Size 30 with nowhere to go. I rarely looked in mirrors. When I did decide to try and loose weight (because of gallstones), I found looking at "Fatshion" blogs really helpful. Here were larger girls, showing off clothes, sometimes looking fabulous, sometimes a bit less so (IMO!) but always interesting, often confident and sometimes with the same lack of self-confidence that I have. What's more I could see that becoming a 28 would be better than a 30, and a 26 better still! Small steps.
It is worth thinking that your body whilst being a bit overweight, is still working. I think we focus on the looks, but just think what a good job your legs do every day. Think about the positives, most of me works fine despite the years of abuse! What fantastic lungs/arms/heart all doing their best!
Find a diet that suits you. It's horses for courses far as I can see. Initially take it slowly. There's loads of advice here on this forum, but take and leave it as it suits you. I fill up on Diet Fizzy Drinks, for some people on here that is a hanging crime! The first few weeks are hard. Hunger is strong and you don't really notice much difference. But really it isn't long before you start to feel better health wise and about yourself, being in control.
Exercise wise I just started walking more, not only does it help with the weight loss, mentally it is such a boost. I have flirted with depression since adolescence, as I think a lot of women do, but a good walk in the park is just the thing! (Also you don't have to dress for it!)
Set a realistic time frame. You won't be thin by Christmas, but you might be 3 stones lighter. You will be thinner! Three years sounds such a long time, but really when you think of things that happened 3 years ago, it is no time at all.
You must allow life to happen. There will be times when you have to go to parties or out for a meal. Don't stop this because of dieting. If you do you end up miserable and you give up...(this has happened to me soooo many times). Go out enjoy the meal/party/"few" drinks. Budget your calories, and have a sensible day before and after. Don't think "ooh I was terrible, I'm rubbish at dieting" because you enjoyed food out. Thin people don't do this, but us fat folk do. For me, my weight issue wasn't that I had pudding in a resturant or tea and cake in a cafe occasionally. It was the bars of chocolate that I would eat secretly (the biggest ones mind!), or packets & packets of crisps I would eat one after another.
I have found this forum sooo helpful. I mostly just lurk reading. I find the forums for bigger people quite helpful as I think there is nothing more depressing than one of those magazine articles that say "I was so huge I disgusted myself" when they are a size 14 ( I would kill to be a size 14!) I love to see peoples' before and after photos as they are so encouraging.
Finally, when you have a bad day leave it. Don't mull on it. You will have the odd bad day, that doesn't make you a bad person. You are human and we often fail. If dieting was easy, we'd all be slim! The difference for me now is that after a bad day (a day when I can eat for England and don't care and end up feeling worthless) is that I don't carry it forward. Next day is back to it (sometimes that fails too, but there is always another day!)
I hope this is of some help. Please, don't feel you are worthless. You are here and that is brilliant. Your body is not the enemy, so now is the time to start treating it right! Lots of love, Moominmamma