Living Maintenance - Maintainers Weekly Chat April 7 - April 13




BillBlueEyes
04-07-2014, 04:55 AM
Sugar snaps are planted. As are the lettuce, kale, and collards. Colorful ribbons are strung over them to flutter in the breeze in our attempt to suggest to the House Sparrows that they should eat somewhere else. Spring is here even if some of the cold lingers.

My current challenge remains keeping my snacks to plan. As the weather gets more pleasant, that's easier for me as I don't spend as much time wandering into the kitchen looking for something that needs to be eaten.


Mudpie
04-07-2014, 06:25 AM
Sugar snaps are planted. As are the lettuce, kale, and collards. Colorful ribbons are strung over them to flutter in the breeze in our attempt to suggest to the House Sparrows that they should eat somewhere else. Spring is here even if some of the cold lingers.

My current challenge remains keeping my snacks to plan. As the weather gets more pleasant, that's easier for me as I don't spend as much time wandering into the kitchen looking for something that needs to be eaten.

Bill :lol: You can wander outside and look at your future healthy food instead. :bravo: on already having your plants started. I do not garden with anything that needs constant care as I'm away dogsitting so much. But I do enjoy eating the bounty of my clients' gardens when staying with their pets in late summer and early fall - nothing like fresh from the back garden produce.

Dagmar :beach:

saef
04-07-2014, 07:21 AM
It's 7:20 AM, I'm at the office, looking at an inbox with 22 emails from the weekend, the majority of which were sent to me on Saturday, and the remainder of which were sent to me on Sunday. None yet this morning. Yes, this is how it feels to arrive early on a Monday and find you're already behind for the week.

I need more coffee. And another day in the week, or perhaps, a redo of the weekend.


ICUwishing
04-07-2014, 08:41 AM
DH was busy this weekend with the seedlings. I won't tell him you're planting outside, Bill. Here it is April 7 and we still have snow on the ground. It is way too wet to even think about working in the garden yet.

Dagmar, I agree - there is NOTHING like eating hours-fresh food. Even DS14 gets a kick out of taking friends to the garden in the summer. Between snow peas, cherry tomatoes, and the raspberries, we've had teenagers hanging out in there for hours. :lol: Wish they'd pull a couple weeds while they're at it! :lol:

Saef, I too wish there were a phantom extra day in the week. Taking a vacation day doesn't help and almost makes it worse, so what seems to be needed is a way to make the world STOP while we catch our breath. I haven't figured it out yet. In the meantime, coffee sure doesn't hurt. :D

Spent the weekend putting up the closet system and moving all the stuff back in (whew). Shout-out to Easyclosets.com - very happy customer here. There is still a lot of sorting and shuffling to do. And more than one trip to Goodwill. I am realizing that I haven't worn over 80% of my clothes in several years, and it has nothing to do (mostly) with size. There's always the couple pairs of pants that are "just a few" pounds away from wearable, of course, but for the most part, I simply do not like any of my clothes. :shrug:

Megan1982
04-07-2014, 08:52 AM
Morning all,

Saef, I feel that way, but not about work. I have my big final project due for class a week from today and have barely started researching, but I have extra choral rehearsal time this week and the weekend will be dominated by our two final concerts, so my "free" time is largely taken up. I was thinking this morning that I might just take a half day off work Wednesday to work on the project. (I know, my priorities aren't quite straight. Work isn't busy this week though.) I know I've said it before, but if I take another class this fall semester I'm not singing in this choir, no matter how much I enjoy it or how badly they need sopranos. It's hurt me not to be involved in the current spring theatre production already but I had to say no. This is for my career, right? Right. (Ok. Pep talk over.)

I spent most of the weekend being responsible, getting exercise and doing my school work for last week. I did go fishing with BF and get to relax for a few hours yesterday morning (and brought my ipad with my course reading loaded onto it, ha ha). The morning was foggy and we were out before first light so we watched the sun rise through the fog. It was beautiful.

Speaking of workout DVDs, I tried a "Ballet Beautiful" workout that streams for free if you're an amazon prime member on Saturday. I'm still sore, but rather than beating myself up for being out of shape I'm just trying to be positive and keep momentum to do it again sooner than later. I'm already wondering when the heck I can fit it in again this week but I'd like to continue doing it because I need to do more strength training (any strength training!). I could see myself doing it several times to get a little stronger and make sure my form is correct, then writing down the exercise sequence and doing it while watching TV. She did the exercises so fast I had to pause and catch up a lot, in addition to pausing to give my muscles a break.

Bill, your garden sounds great! I've got kale that I grew through the winter that's ready to be harvested, as well as tomato and bell pepper seedlings in the bed. This year my heirloom tomato seeds got started late and have been growing so slowly I'm afraid they'll be too late (my garden bed is very sunny and in FL our season ends early due to the heat). I'll just go to the hardware store and get a few more tomato seedlings already that are already started, as well as cucumber and a few other things because my seeds are too slow. I got some home grown lettuce from a friend on Friday as well and have been enjoying it in salads. I love garden season! Enjoy your garden!

I agree that the warm weather drives me outside more, too. On Sunday I spent 6 AM until about 3 PM outside. I thought to myself "Oh yes, back in the swing of things. Spring is here." I love it.

Have a good week everyone.

alinnell
04-07-2014, 09:25 AM
I'm so envious of everyone with a vegetable garden. I simply cannot grow anything here although there are certainly others that can. We have community gardens here and there and they are teeming with vegetables.

My MIL got a hole in one on Saturday. My FIL had gotten one this past January. They were commenting on the fact that it is probably very unusual for their son to have witnessed both of them.

I used to have an overflowing inbox, too. I'd come in and easily have 60+ emails to deal with and each one had to have a reply or more. I kept every email in folders so that I could reference them if something similar came up again (still do, although it isn't as often now). I really hated the people who would return an email with a phone call. I'd have to take notes and then translate them into a "reply" for me to save for later and it never translated well.

Mudpie
04-07-2014, 10:02 AM
Megan Beautiful pic! What type of bird is that? And it's really nice to be outside when the weather is temperate.

Becky I hear you on the not liking the clothes. In my case it's a bit more them being unsuitable for any thing I do or anywhere I go. I kept a beautiful taffeta party/cocktail dress, heels, and matching purse for 3 years. Tried them on and looked at myself in the mirror many times. They never left the house, except for that last trip to the charity box. :lol:

I just had a porch guy come and look at our ageing, rotting front box. He is very gung ho on cedar for the design I gave him so the new porch is going to be expensive. I figure this is something I'm only going to do once and it will be good for resale in 10 years. That's my rationale and I'm hoping he's in the upper limit of my parameters. The house really needs a facelift and the porch is a major part.

Dagmar :beach:

traveling michele
04-07-2014, 10:40 AM
Megan-- that sounds intriguing. I have amazon prime but have never looked at their workouts. Is there much available?

Good luck Bill on all your gardening! We have sometimes done a garden but with dh gone so much and my lack of a green thumb, we planted flowers this year. However, a yoga friend gave me spaghetti squash seeds on Saturday as we were all talking about trying and cooking spaghetti squash. One of my yoga friends suggested putting the seeds in an egg carton with dirt to see if they grow so that is my grand experiment. I also made spaghetti squash for the first time last night. I enjoyed it and have leftovers for tonight's dinner.

I went to "coffee" after yoga with my friend that I was nervous about inviting. It was great. We both enjoyed getting to know each other better. I was guessing she is around my age and I was right. She's a year younger than me.

I also found out she has a side pet sitting business which is great! I'm currently having a mini nervous breakdown about my pet sitter. She usually sends an invoice awhile before a trip. I haven't gotten one for the upcoming cruise. I sent her a text on Saturday and didn't hear back. I sent another text yesterday and still nothing. I sent an email last night and I will call her after school to confirm. I set it up so long ago that I'm just paranoid she somehow doesn't have it on her books. Or she's flaked and moved or something weird. Since it's Spring Break here, I would have zero chance of finding openings at kennels or pet sitters at this point. My friend will be out of town or she would be a great back up. Hopefully I'm just being paranoid but I have no idea what I'd do if she fell through.

Five more days until my Spring Break. Starting off this morning with a fire drill... hopefully we all make it!

ahna
04-07-2014, 12:07 PM
Went to Library and got a different dvd I have rarely if ever done before and so I am changing up my routine a bit!



Billwe live in town and cant really have a garden, but I sure wish we could! I tried last year and put plants into soil bags and a few of the vegetables produced but most of them just got diseases or something and didnt grow right

Megan I have Amazon prime, I will check out Ballet Beautiful! Thanks!

paperclippy
04-07-2014, 12:38 PM
Becky, once I lost the weight I decided I was only going to buy clothes that I really liked. I had fallen into the heavy person's trap of buying any clothes that fit, regardless of how much I liked them! As a maintainer I try to buy clothes that I really like and am willing to spend a little more money on an individual item. That said, I've bought only a few crappy cheap clothes in the last year because I really don't want to buy myself a new wardrobe when I am still planning to lose the pregnancy weight once I'm done breastfeeding. It remains to be seen whether I'll ever be able to fit into my old pants or whether the extra skin on my belly will make it impossible.

Megan, lovely photo!

Jen, I :love: your photos on last week's thread of the chicks with your pets! Adorable!

Things are going well here. Work is very busy although I finally have a bit of a lull today after meeting a stretch deadline last week. Babies are doing well overall. They are super cute much of the time, but they also cry and fuss a lot too. That's just what babies do! They are having a separation anxiety phase and they only want DH at night now. For maybe three nights in a row now whichever girl I take to change her diaper and put her in PJ's will just start screaming until I hand her over to DH, at which point she instantly calms down. Sigh. I cried the first night that they did it but have come to terms with it now. It's a phase, and some day they will have a reverse phase where they only want me and not him. It does make me feel kind of guilty for being at work though to see how much they prefer DH! Of course it's just at bedtime -- during the day they are perfectly happy to climb all over me.

Hard to believe they are going to be a year old this month! :fr: I am thinking of calling our doctor to check on them developmentally. Their motor skills are great for their age and their babble is good but they are starting to fall behind on social milestones.

CherryPie99
04-07-2014, 02:03 PM
Jessica - can you be more specific on the social milestones they are falling behind on? I have heard that twins sometimes don't interact as well with others because they have each other and don't need others. Is that kind of what you are referring to?

Michele - funny that you mentioned spaghetti squash - I planted it for the first time last year - it grows REALLY easy. I had never eaten it before and LOVED it. AND it keeps FOREVER. As a matter of fact, I had the last one from my garden last night!!

We typically plant our garden the first weekend in May, but we've had such a HORRIFIC winter, that our garden is completely snow covered and the ground is still pretty frozen. So it is going to have to warm up a lot and consistently for us to be able to till it up and plant in a month!!

Shannon in ATL
04-07-2014, 04:36 PM
I'm at the point where I'm starting to get my garden ready - I can put tomatoes in somewhere in the next 8-10 days I think, peppers a little later but soon. I'm not sure what all to plant - everything was either rained out or eaten up by caterpillars and weevils and mites and whatever else came to visit last year so I'm a little gun shy. I've never tried to grow any beans or peas. I should do that. I have a lot of kudzu bugs usually though, and they eat those don't they?

So XW's AC has gone out and has to be replaced. She cancelled her home warranty early this year in a fit of temper over something they wouldn't cover and now she is looking at thousands of dollars to replace the unit that the warranty would have replaced this year. Not sure how that is going to play out, but she doesn't have the money and I bet that she will come to us for some of it. As she doesn't honor the visitation agreement, tells DSS bad things about me and DH, and generally jerks us around. I was already over the line last week, this is just going to make it worse.

It is raining here, has been since about 1:30 am. A car was washed off the road in an overflown creek near a friend's job site today, driver was killed. Sad. :(

paperclippy
04-07-2014, 04:37 PM
Jen, the main one is that according to the literature we were given when they were born they should be imitating things by now (faces, gestures, sounds). They will smile at us if we repeat a sound or a gesture over and over but they won't make any move like they're trying to do it too. They are starting to at least respond to their names a little bit now, but they don't seem to really understand any instructions or gestures yet.

silverbirch
04-07-2014, 04:48 PM
Terribly full day today. Must crawl into bed. Food has been poor.

Jessica, everyone's different, of course. They'll have a burst very soon, I'm sure. Have they got a mirror they can see themselves in?

Shannon, XW is such a difficult person. I can understand if you call her something stronger.

OK, night night.

Shannon in ATL
04-07-2014, 05:11 PM
Birchie - if you've seen my journal on my other forum, she is the one often called by names I wouldn't say in polite company. ;)

Jessica - I remember you mentioning adjusted age and physical age for the girls, do you count the developmental milestones by the adjusted age based on when they came home from the hospital or birth age?

ICUwishing
04-08-2014, 08:47 AM
Megan, your weekend sounds like it was a great balance of productivity and relaxing. The picture is lovely! Thumbs up on tackling a new workout!

Allison, that is cool about your inlaws both getting the holes in one! Have you had yours yet? I've been within 3 inches - I think I'd be delirious for days if it happened to me. Lovelovelove golf!

Dagmar, I hear you about the practicality of clothing. I have to also come to grips with the fact that my shape is a long way from standard, and that shopping over the web isn't my best option.

Cedar is a lovely material, and I totally agree, the porch is the "smile" of the house. It needs to be right. Good luck!

Michele, good for you getting out! Super bonus that she has a sitting service, just when you might need one. I hope your regular sitter hasn't gone AWOL.

ahna, I didn't get a chance to say welcome aboard. :wave: Glad to have you with us!

Jessica, in the process of going through my closet I began to realize that I didn't really buy any new clothes when I lost 20 pounds - I just got rid of the fat clothes and started wearing the stuff again that I'd been waiting to get back into. I've replaced things that I've worn to death, but there isn't anything "new" here. :chin: At least with the new space, I can get a much better bead on what I have. It might not take too many pieces to really update things. Hm. Ah yes, Mom as playground equipment ... I remember that! :lol: Man, that first year goes fast, doesn't it?

Jen, we're also a loooooong way from gardening. I'm a little concerned that DH may have started the seeds too early. We could be transplanting a couple times! But it's so good to see young green things ...

shannon, boo on XW. Perhaps having her AC out in summer might give her a taste of where her behavior is going to get her! Maybe she can sweat out some of the b!tch!ness? :)

silver, today's a new day - hope it's a good one for you!

DH is back in KY for the next 3 weeks (weekdays only, thank goodness), and DS is relaxing at Spa Nana for spring break and enjoying lots of movies. Poor Becky is home all alone with the bunnies (oh darn). :D

Mudpie
04-08-2014, 09:45 AM
Becky Poor Becky :( whatever will you do all alone? :rofl:

Dagmar :devil:

traveling michele
04-08-2014, 10:40 AM
Have fun Becky!

My pet sitter did come through thank goodness. She says she didn't get my texts and she accidentally sent my invoice to the wrong Michele. I've used her many times and the animals are always happy and exhausted when I return, so I'll give her the benefit of the doubt. I will see if my friend is available next time around though.

Mudpie
04-08-2014, 06:30 PM
Have fun Becky!

My pet sitter did come through thank goodness. She says she didn't get my texts and she accidentally sent my invoice to the wrong Michele. I've used her many times and the animals are always happy and exhausted when I return, so I'll give her the benefit of the doubt. I will see if my friend is available next time around though.

Michele if you'd like to keep this new friend as a friend don't use her as your pet sitter. I speak from long experience - personal relationships and work don't mix. I'm going through this right now with my cousin's wife and it's hard. And family can't opt out of a relationship as easily as a friend can.

Dagmar :dizzy:

CalCounter1003
04-08-2014, 07:17 PM
Wow! You all are so busy with gardening and wanting to garden. I'm jealous but I've just never been into it. My DH and I both say we want to just get a condo in the future and have no yard. I'd be embarrassed for anyone to see the back yard right now. My MIL is German and I know she cringes when she comes over and looks out at the mess back there. The grass is cut weekly (we are in Florida) but there is a big former flower garden that is a big weed blob. Maybe when I'm off for Spring Break I'll make it out there, but I don't think so. I just need to hire someone to clean it out I guess. There could be snakes back there! EEEK! I don't like snakes and there are lots around.

Michele, Dagmar is probably right about the pet sitting advice. I didn't even think of that when I read you were going to try her out, but then when I read her post I realized she is right! My Spring Break starts next Thursday and then we are off the next week also. FINALLY. It's the latest it has ever been and the teachers and kids are all burned out! We have a fire drill on Thursday morning and today we had an anti-bullying speaker - he was really good. Then in my class at the end of the day one boy said something mean to another boy and I blew up at him. Not in an inappropriate way -- and all the other kids totally supported me. He said "I was just kidding". I said "No! Didn't we just hear a 2 hour presentation on just kidding is still not right if it is mean!" UGH! Boys! I teach mostly boys and at least they are just mean straight out in the open - sometimes the girls are mean but in a secret way that is worse. This is at a Catholic school, of course. sigh.

ICUWishing - I need to do the same with the closet. I only reached my goal about 5 weeks ago and I have been slowly moving out the sizes that are way to big. I plan on taking the good ones to the sharing center here in town.

I have been buying a few clothes the past few months. Of course I can't afford to buy too many at a time, but my pants are just too big so I had to buy some. The shirts I can get away with as big, but some of them that I bought when nothing fit are just way too big. I really do not like to shop or spend money, for that matter! I always pick out things that are too plain, black and khaki pants and big shirts. When my DD shops with me she will pick out things for me to try that I would NEVER try on and sometimes I buy them. Maybe when we are in CA this summer I can buy some new clothes.

Jessica, It's good to get it checked out but I bet it is fine and is a twin thing. However, parents know more than the doctor so if your intuition keeps telling you something is wrong, push for testing. I was completely freaked out because my DD was one of the last kids to read in her first grade class . My DS read in K pretty much on his own. We never helped him, all of a sudden he was just reading. I even bought an expensive Hooked on Phonics set for her because I thought something was wrong! I met with her teacher and she assured me that she would get it. Well, once she finally started, she started excelling above-and-beyond everyone else (not my pushing, just how she was) and ended up top of the class (not Val or Sal, but close) and at a really great university and doing great there. But, of course, we moms have to worry about EVERYTHING! And my DH is the worst worrier of anyone. Half the time I don't need to spend my time worrying because he is doing it for me.

Shannon, XW sounds like a tough situation. :( I grew up as the child in your situation and it was not fun being in the middle between my SM and M. Now, 40 years later, everything is fine. But things were quite ugly and I didn't really know who was in the right or wrong as a child because both sides talked about the other. Thinking about it I probably was on my DM's side just because of her being my mom, also she didn't talk bad about SM as much as SM talked about DM. So it's good to take the high road. But, it sounds like she is vindictive and that makes it very difficult for you and everyone. Hang in there... it won't be easy but over time it gets better.

In food news, I'm enjoying adding a few calories! Just SO cautious as I do and watching the scale way too closely.

paperclippy
04-09-2014, 06:37 AM
Shannon, we measure milestones by their adjusted age (their actual due date), which means right now they are a little over 9 months. Up till now they have hit some of their milestones on their actual age and most of them by their adjusted age. "Imitate a familiar gesture" is listed under 6 months in our pamphlet and "exchange back and forth gestures with parent" is listed under 9 months though. Other than that they've already covered all the 9 month milestones and a couple of the 12 month milestones.

They do have a couple mirrors to look at. I always wonder whether they know the difference between looking at themselves in the mirror and looking at each other! When they see a mirror they typically go straight up to it and kiss themselves. :lol:

Mudpie
04-09-2014, 09:30 AM
They do have a couple mirrors to look at. I always wonder whether they know the difference between looking at themselves in the mirror and looking at each other! When they see a mirror they typically go straight up to it and kiss themselves. :lol:

That sounds very sweet Jessica.

Dagmar :)

traveling michele
04-09-2014, 10:07 AM
Jessica,
I wonder if the milestones can be somewhat different for twins just because they experience different interactions that singular babies do? They interact with each other, right? Because most babies don't have that 24 hour experience they do.

Shannon in ATL
04-09-2014, 10:12 AM
Jessica - I love them kissing their reflections in the mirror. :)

CalCounter - I try really hard not to speak badly about XW. His birthday is a prime example of crazy. For years she refused to allow me to come to his birthday party, though DH and my MIL would go and DH & I would pay for half or more of the party even if it was at her house. As he got older he started to ask her who all was coming to the party, and would ask about me. He would then come back to me and say "I'm sorry that you can't come to my party xxx day, mommy told me you were too busy" or some variation of I had something better to do than be there. I always responded and told him I would be there if I could, without saying that his mom wouldn't let me come. This year he says to me "so all those years mom told me that you were too busy to come to my party or that you had other plans was a lie". Lots of similar incidents over the years, as recently as last Friday when DH had to work late and she was supposed to bring him to our house after an event she had taken him to downtown on our regular weekend, where I was there waiting for him. Instead she told him DH was still at work and unavailable for his family and that I wasn't home either and wouldn't want him there anyway. I try so hard to always say nice things about her and support what she does and says to him, but he's starting to see the lies around him more and more and ask me about them. I don't want to put him in the middle, and I'm sorry that you were when you were little. :(

Becky - enjoy your alone time. :)

I got a little more clean up done in the garden last night, and hopefully will be putting out plants this weekend. I'm going to just put them out and go with it I think, if I can get the maintenance I need done. I'm already congested and stuffy and it is barely 10 am. It is tough to garden with allergies.

traveling michele
04-09-2014, 10:19 AM
Michele if you'd like to keep this new friend as a friend don't use her as your pet sitter. I speak from long experience - personal relationships and work don't mix. I'm going through this right now with my cousin's wife and it's hard. And family can't opt out of a relationship as easily as a friend can.

Dagmar :dizzy:

I'm bummed that you and others think this. I really want to try her out. I'll have to give it some serious contemplation. I think she'll take better care of the pets as she'll stay at the house with them and she keeps a similar schedule to me-- she is a school teacher. She also charges quite a bit less. Hmmm....

JayEll
04-09-2014, 11:01 AM
Hi Michelle,

I have to weigh in (ha) on the side of those who say don't use your new friend as a pet sitter--at least not right away. You need to get to know her better, first of all.

Second of all, having a friend stay at your house while you're gone can also be a problem. You really do have to know that person better, if they aren't a professional. There are liability issues to consider. And also, friendships can be ruined this way.

We had a friend who was happy to stay at our house while we were gone for 10 days, and during those 10 days she wreaked havoc in our house. She planted a flower garden even though we had told her not to touch the plantings, she moved things all over the place--for a long time we had to call her up to ask her where she put things we couldn't find--she took our clothes off the racks and dumped them into the back of the closet so she'd have room for her clothing (we had left her ample rack space!), and so on. We were so angry that we never spoke to her again--after we found all our stuff!

Clearly this was a special case, but we had no idea that she was going to do any of that. She seemed like a normal person...

CalCounter1003
04-09-2014, 09:19 PM
Sorry Michele, but you know to do what feels right for you no matter what we think. ;)

Shannon, that's so mean of her! Ugh, but he is already figuring it out which is good. Poor kid, and poor you!

Jessica how cute! They must be adorable!!!

Five more school days till spring break!!

Mudpie
04-10-2014, 05:31 AM
I just got some really bad news (not for us) about one of DH's brother-in-laws. He's been diagnosed with lung and brain cancer and probably has about 3 months left.

All of their kids are grown up and self-sufficient but DH's sister is not. She has MS and epilepsy. She is a pro at "working the system" but I think her husband has been key to keeping her going.

What a sad horrible thing to face. DH's family is not close and there is a big rift between 2 factions of them (we've managed to stay outside of it because we are so far away) but I think either there will be a mending or the sh*t will really hit the fan again.

DH is pretty much on edge these days anyway so this is going to be really, really weird.

Dagmar

BillBlueEyes
04-10-2014, 05:58 AM
Sending supportive thoughts, Dagmar, as you and your DH face really tough news about his BIL.

May it serve as a bridge to the family issues.

ICUwishing
04-10-2014, 08:07 AM
Dagmar, :hug: Bill said it well - I hope this can provide a bridge.

Shannon in ATL
04-10-2014, 09:35 AM
:hug: to you and your family, Dagmar.

alinnell
04-10-2014, 10:17 AM
Oh, Dagmar, that's sad. So sorry to hear.

So my Dad called me last night to talk about DD's wedding. He doesn't want to go (which is fine) but then he asked who she was marrying--was it the guy she did her senior recital with? (She sent him a DVD of her recital.) Um, no, it's Kurt--the guy you met at Thanksgiving. He doesn't remember meeting him. Ugh.

Megan1982
04-10-2014, 01:40 PM
So sorry to hear that, Dagmar. :hug:

Allison, remind me if your father has memory loss or this is a new development.

JayEll, what a weird housesitting experience. Who would move stuff around in someone's house that is not their own?

Jessica, I love the picture of the girls kissing themselves in the mirror. Do they also kiss each other like that? (Do they think it's each other in the mirror?)

I forgot to answer someone's question. The bird in the picture I posted Monday is a Great Blue Heron. They recognize fishing rods and always run up when you have them on the beach, hoping for fish.

Today is BF's birthday. He wants to go sailing after I finish work, and I gave him his present (new chainsaw) last night and will make him steak for dinner. I just hope his mentally unbalanced family will at the very least text him a happy birthday and not dump any new stress on him for one day.

alinnell
04-10-2014, 01:49 PM
Allison, remind me if your father has memory loss or this is a new development.

My sister and I think it's selective. He remembers what he wants to.

I forgot to answer someone's question. The bird in the picture I posted Monday is a Great Blue Heron. They recognize fishing rods and always run up when you have them on the beach, hoping for fish.

That is too funny! We get herons here from time to time but only on the golf course so no fishing poles.

krampus
04-10-2014, 03:27 PM
Dagmar, sending support to you, DH and his family.

I made a really stupid mistake at work that could result in our being fined thousands by the IRS, and worse - makes us look disappointingly incompetent to the board. Of all the things I could neglect, this was an unfortunate choice.

Shannon in ATL
04-10-2014, 04:55 PM
Oh no Krampus, not good. I have the ability to easily make those kinds of large impact mistakes at work, too. I hope you can get it fixed. :(

CalCounter1003
04-10-2014, 11:32 PM
Dagmar, such sad news. So sorry. :hug:

Krampus, sounds very stressful, sorry. We learn more from our mistakes than we do our successes, or so says an audio book I'm listening to. :hug:

traveling michele
04-10-2014, 11:38 PM
Hope your bf and you had a good birthday for him!

Hugs to Dagmar and Krampus. Krampus... Hopefully it's not as bad as you think...

Dh is home and very jet lagged. I hope he recovers by our cruise! We leave on the red eye tomorrow night. My last day at school will be long... The kids are crazy and I'm seeing 11 classes!

BillBlueEyes
04-11-2014, 04:22 AM
Sending supportive thoughts to Krampus - to get through the awful feelings while remembering that you're competent. Time to receive a full body massage?

ICUwishing
04-11-2014, 07:58 AM
krampus, that's a bummer for sure! :hug: Just the letters "IRS" are intimidating. :mad: Is there any time for remediations? It's not like mistakes aren't made every single day.

michele - carry that man to the airport if you have to! ;) Wishing you a really fun and relaxing time!

alinnell
04-11-2014, 09:20 AM
Enjoy your cruise, Michele, and book a couple's massage the moment you arrive on board. You both deserve it!

So sorry about the news, Dagmar.

So sorry about the mistake, Krampus. I'm sure that if you explain what happened things can be amended.

traveling michele
04-11-2014, 10:20 AM
Enjoy your cruise, Michele, and book a couple's massage the moment you arrive on board. You both deserve it!



Oh, it's been booked already! Two massages in fact. One couples massage and one deep tissue massage. Cannot wait.

If I don't get a chance to check back in, I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend, and a great week next week. I'll be back with weight to lose I'm sure. :dizzy::o

krampus
04-11-2014, 10:42 AM
Thank you guys. Spent the afternoon doing the necessary things to try and minimize the impact. We will probably be OK.

Heading to CT this weekend for Passover with BF's family and visiting his mom and her BF who is dying of lung cancer. I feel ridiculous asking this but does anyone have advice on how to handle visiting with someone who is clearly not well? Is it preferable to ignore the elephant in the room, to not bother with small talk, etc?

silverbirch
04-11-2014, 11:17 AM
Not ridiculous at all, krampus. It is difficult. It really depends on the kind of relationship you have with the person. It sounds as though you aren't especially close to him so I wouldn't mention it. If he brings it up then you might be generally sympathetic or offer practical advice (but only if it's really appropriate). I tend to try to be present but not intrusive in these sorts of situations.

Good news that you've been able to minimise the impact of your mistake!

Have a great time, Michele!

CherryPie99
04-11-2014, 03:38 PM
Krampus - I can only compare it to this - my grandfather died of mesothelioma. And he HATED when people would ask him things like "How are you feeling?" - he always wanted to say "I'm dying, what a stupid question!" He said that just talking to him like you would any other normal person is how he wanted to be treated...

Hope the mess at work is less then you thought!

Michele - I hope you have a FABULOUS time on your cruise and make good choices but also indulge a bit - life's too short, ya know?

Dagmar = :hug:

I have been a bit of a mental trainwreck all week for no good reason. Happy as he!! that today is Friday!!

Jen

alinnell
04-11-2014, 03:46 PM
Krampus~when my Mom had breast cancer and people found out they'd feel bad for her and tell her they felt bad for her. She stopped telling people because she didn't feel bad for herself so why should others feel bad for her? Granted hers wasn't terminal, but sometimes there are other things the person would rather talk about.

BillBlueEyes
04-11-2014, 04:33 PM
Krampus - When I faced this with a friend last year, he helped by introducing the subject of his cancer and letting me ask questions - he wanted to talk about the whole process of finding out. We talked about the faith healer he spoke to each evening for 15 minutes. We talked about his kids.

On our last visit we swapped opinions about which stores had better prices - as if nothing was different.

From that experience I'd offer to let your uncle lead the conversation. Be prepared to tell him happy tales about your life - where you plan to go on vacation. He might want to hear something other than about his health.

Good luck. I know that it feels uncomfortable.

bargoo
04-11-2014, 11:17 PM
Thank you guys. Spent the afternoon doing the necessary things to try and minimize the impact. We will probably be OK.

Heading to CT this weekend for Passover with BF's family and visiting his mom and her BF who is dying of lung cancer. I feel ridiculous asking this but does anyone have advice on how to handle visiting with someone who is clearly not well? Is it preferable to ignore the elephant in the room, to not bother with small talk, etc?
Act as normal as possible, Do not treat him as an invalid.

Mudpie
04-12-2014, 05:54 AM
Krampus - When I faced this with a friend last year, he helped by introducing the subject of his cancer and letting me ask questions - he wanted to talk about the whole process of finding out. We talked about the faith healer he spoke to each evening for 15 minutes. We talked about his kids.

On our last visit we swapped opinions about which stores had better prices - as if nothing was different.

From that experience I'd offer to let your uncle lead the conversation. Be prepared to tell him happy tales about your life - where you plan to go on vacation. He might want to hear something other than about his health.

Good luck. I know that it feels uncomfortable.

Thanks for this Bill. I know it's advice for krampus but I will have it in my mind when we visit DH's BIL. I will have all of my funny dog stories ready.

Dagmar

Mudpie
04-12-2014, 03:01 PM
I found a flower when I was cleaning up my backyard this afternoon. Can't figure out how to insert a photo here without giving all of you access to my desktop computer but it's burgundy/purple!

Dagmar :D