30-Somethings - Does anyone else overspend?
03-22-2014, 02:11 PM
I have an overspending problem that is taking its toll on my marriage and happiness. I feel so down since I gained so much weight I have started buying really expensive things to make myself feel better. I feel like at least I can dress well if I can't be thin.
I just had a baby and don't have an unlimited budget lol. I can't afford what I am doing. How should I go about quitting?
03-23-2014, 04:36 AM
I guess a few sessions of therapy will help you fix that.
03-23-2014, 06:10 AM
Once many years ago i went to a 12-step group that included overeaters, over spenders and underachievers. It was in a large city. See if you can find one in your city. I only went once because i didn't really have the same problems that the people there had, but i thought the people seemed to be doing pretty well and i am a big advocate of support groups.
Have you read any books about it? I think overspending is a way of filling up your time and making you feel better as you say but if you had some other motivating type of interest, it could easily replace it i think.
I always find when i have a project, i don't spend half as much money as when i don't have anything exciting to do. If you are a stay at home, why not consider teaching yourself some sort of skill to turn into a business.
I'm currently teaching myself pattern making so that i can establish a clothing business at the local markets. I've already started but my skills are rather limited.
I can give you a few tips about how to go about that if you are interested.
If not that, then consider something else you could do from home. consider turning this thread into a brainstorming thread for ideas for you to explore further.
I also agree with getting some counselling but keep it open ended. You probably won't get "fixed" quickly but some people don't need much sometimes to enable to make major changes.
Certainly instead of buying beautiful clothes, you can learn how to make your own. Its not necessarily any cheaper but it might be if it stops you buying so many clothes. You also have your child to sew for and your hubbie.
Sewing itself isn't that hard. But for pattern making there's quite a bit to it.
But if you go down this path, you must not make the mistake of becoming a fabric junkie. You might have to have rules like you can only buy fabric for one garment at a time. And you can't buy more until you finish a garment.
There are so many things you could learn from home that could become your hobby.
Another idea is to take up a volunteering job. Maybe for just one afternoon a week. I do that at a local community centre where i man the reception. Its an easy job and brings me in touch with some nice people.
What other talents have you got that you could develop?
04-21-2014, 03:52 AM
I have a habit of this. I try to make nice situations instead. Like having a nice bath or reading a good book. It's hard to make the right choices but realising is the first step.
Love and light xx
04-26-2014, 01:10 PM
i have the same problem. and don't know how to deal with it. :(
04-26-2014, 09:58 PM
Oftentimes, we spend because we're bored, and want to not only get out of the house, but to have something to do other than the same old thing.
Start asking yourself when you're out if you REALLY need what you're looking at. If you can live without it and put it back.
Also, look into doing activities that don't require money. Take a stroll around the neighborhood with your baby. Join a Mothers with babies support group for some friends. Take up a hobby. Just anything that doesn't have to do with money.
And finally, start keeping a monthy budget of all of your bills and what money needs to go to which to be paid. Whatever the amount that is left over, don't spend it if you can. Instead, divert it to a savings account for that rainy day vacation. Have something to look forward to.
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