30-Somethings - Jealous of an old friend




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carabelle11
03-19-2014, 05:57 PM
My ex best friend and I used to weigh about the same. She has since lost all her weight and gotten into the 120s. I can't help but to feel jealous and then I feel like a horrible person.
We don't even really speak anymore so I don't know why I even care. I want to stop comparing ymself to others and life MY life...have any of you dealt with this?


nibog
03-20-2014, 07:09 AM
oh yes! in highschool my friends and I were all very similar in weight even though I was usually the heaviest (in those days I would say "curviest" as it meant my chest and rear were more rounded! ha, take that skinny chicks!)

Now a days....I do try and see more of the "new friends" rather than the "old friends" as I am ashamed of my weight gain. Our 10 year reunion is next year (2015) and I would love to make an entrance with a lot of the "new" me GONE!

lucindaarrowspark
03-20-2014, 07:19 AM
That emotion, jealousy was my wake up call that I had hit rock bottom. I had always been known as a really nice person, and pleasant to be around but as I packed on the pounds paranoia and jealousy and avoiding social situations became my modus opperedi. IT was at a New years eve party that my ugly behavior got the better of me and I did not recognize the ***** I had become.
Ridding my life of sugar has liberated the happy girl stuck inside.
Thank you moderators for keeping my language clean!


Mumof 2D
03-20-2014, 08:59 AM
I deal with constantly on both sides of it. My best friend starves herself to be thin. The skin just hangs off of her bones. She looks horrible. But everyone always tells her she looks beautiful and she gets doted on constantly. I get jealous of the attention she gets but at the same time I am loosing weight and getting very strong. She has been making snarky remarks and has been getting very jealous of me. So it's a tricky relationship!

carabelle11
03-20-2014, 12:24 PM
oh yes! in highschool my friends and I were all very similar in weight even though I was usually the heaviest (in those days I would say "curviest" as it meant my chest and rear were more rounded! ha, take that skinny chicks!)

Now a days....I do try and see more of the "new friends" rather than the "old friends" as I am ashamed of my weight gain. Our 10 year reunion is next year (2015) and I would love to make an entrance with a lot of the "new" me GONE!

Good luck! You can do this!!

carabelle11
03-20-2014, 12:25 PM
That emotion, jealousy was my wake up call that I had hit rock bottom. I had always been known as a really nice person, and pleasant to be around but as I packed on the pounds paranoia and jealousy and avoiding social situations became my modus opperedi. IT was at a New years eve party that my ugly behavior got the better of me and I did not recognize the ***** I had become.
Ridding my life of sugar has liberated the happy girl stuck inside.
Thank you moderators for keeping my language clean!

That's how I feel too. I don't even recognize myself anymore. I have been given many blessings and I just want to enjoy life and be happy for others.

christine123
03-26-2014, 11:28 PM
I deal with constantly on both sides of it. My best friend starves herself to be thin. The skin just hangs off of her bones. She looks horrible. But everyone always tells her she looks beautiful and she gets doted on constantly. I get jealous of the attention she gets but at the same time I am loosing weight and getting very strong. She has been making snarky remarks and has been getting very jealous of me. So it's a tricky relationship!

I also deal with both sides! Very thin friends who are UBER focused on staying thin at all costs... barely eat, and 1 that is underweight. I have been envious of the attention they get and the fact that every single type of clothing looks good on them. I have a harder time finding flattering clothes.

I also have a couple of friends who commented on my weight gain and said they were "concerned" about my health. It was extremely hurtful and painful to hear. Those same friends have not commented on my weight loss, and a few are now heavier than they were when they were critical of me. In other words, a couple of them gained weight and are now bigger than me. Not a single compliment or acknowledgement.

Basically, I have come to accept that people are going to be themselves no matter what, and I can only control myself and my reactions. There have been people who have commented every 5lbs down, and that is nice.

The thing with jealousy is it's all around, whether it's weight, at work, money, status, relationship status, and I try to keep my circle small and not engage too much in the weight "discussion."

ika overeater
04-17-2014, 03:14 PM
i think jealousy is a normal thing to some extent. as long as you don't wish that other person looked worse and don't engage in behavior that can be hurtful for that person. i am jealous of my best friend, because she lost a lot of weight and i didn't. i wish i lost weight too. but i am happy for her.